비디오

AS I would Open my Mouth.. last night I could Not sleep.. I was struggling so much trying to get some rest.. I don't know why but I was toss and turning around.. I would close my eyes.. my eyes would open.. both eyes looking up at the ceiling.. I am wondering.. I am so tired.. but why couldn't I fall asleep.. there is my Pillow.. I would grab and hold unto the pillow.. thinking that it be YOU.. and try to fall asleep.. my Heart was telling me.. There is One Picture that catches My eyes.. and I would stop.. taking a Look.. it is YOU.. but.. it is the first Picture of YOU.. before I ever met YOU.. and it is a Picture which my Friend would show Me.. as I am walking out of the Room.. after Looking at the Giant Teddy Bear and I stand by the Door.. looking at the empty Chair.. I have in my hand the first Picture.. which I had to travel far.. my friend wanted to introduce YOU to me.. and as I am looking at this Picture.. WHY did I let YOU go.. I remember that My friend told Me.. YOU are so Dear to HIM.. I was not thinking.. I did Not know what He meant by YOU were so Dear.. until the day YOU are gone.. When YOU left.. I only saw the Bag and YOU looked at me.. and only told me that YOU were leaving.. and told me.. it is going to be only few days YOU were gone.. I am thinking.. Maybe YOU went to My friend.. is this the reason WHY you have Not answered My call.. I just could not believe what I am dealing at this Point.. WHY would you tell me you will be Back.. that it would only take few days and Now.. weeks went By.. and now it is going on a month since YOU are gone.. I call YOU on the Phone.. I only hear the Phone ringing.. that means YOU are receiving.. knowing that It is Me who is calling YOU.. but.. why don't you pick UP.. why can't you tell me that YOU are doing just fine.. that YOU are doing alright.. I am still wondering.. and I am standing by the door.. LOOKING at the Chair.. the empty chair you sat.. WHY are you hurting Me.. why are YOU breaking my Heart.. can't you be honest with Me.. Please answer the Phone.. Please answer when I call YOU.. but every time I call YOU.. I only can leave YOU the voice Message.. if YOU know and YOU are able to hear me on the Other side.. WOULD YOU please call Back.. if NOT.. Please answer.. I am beginning to worry more about YOU.. because I am not sure what is going On.. Help me to Know that YOU are doing well.. that YOU are doing good.. WHY do you have to hurt me this way.. WHY are you punishing me because It truly Hurts YOU know.. Please tell me something.. as I am looking at the Old Picture.. the first Picture I ever saw.. It just drives Me crazy because I know that it was my fault.. I should of held Back.. should of been patient with YOU.. and just cool off before I speak to YOU.. I never thought that it would end up this way.. I really thought YOU are going to come back after few days.. Now it has been a Month of waiting.. I don't even know where YOU are so How can I do the search for YOU.. YOU don't pick UP the Phone.. NO answer.. don't even message me back.. I am asking YOU How you are doing.. I even leave my voice on the message.. But it is now killing Me.. killing me because YOU do not know how I am feeling right NOW.. what I am dealing with.. YOU know that I love YOU.. YOU know that I miss YOU.. YOU know how much time of waiting.. I am waiting for YOU.. but the time keeps ON going.. and I don't see you.. I need YOU here.. I want YOU close.. Where are YOU.. tell me please.. where are YOU because I am missing YOU right Now.. I take a look at the Old Picture.. the first Picture.. my Both eyes closes and Now.. A Phone rings.. and I pick up the Phone on the Other side.. My friend told Me that He knows another and.. It is YOU who he wanted to introduce.. I remember I would ask HIM if He knew someone because I was ready to Love.. I wanted to meet someone.. and He called Me.. telling me that He has a Picture.. and wanted to show me WHO YOU were.. I remember I was ready.. I would look at the Mirror and I smiled.. Meeting YOU for the first time.. I wanted to see who My friend was talking about.. and this excitement.. this rush in my body came.. I wanted to Love.. to Love YOU.. as I got ready.. I had the Train ticket in my hand.. and with a Bag I left the House.. I do remember I am standing by the train station.. I just couldn't believe It.. finally something is going to happen.. I been waiting for a long time.. Just that the situation of my life would Not lead me anywhere.. as I would go into the train.. giving the ticket.. the Man takes it and it shows me the NUMBER to seat.. I would walk to the seat.. with my bag I would sit by the window.. I just could Not stop smiling.. WHY am I smiling so Much.. but I would be thinking.. WHY smile Now if YOU would reject me.. if YOU don't like me at all.. But.. I do remember to shake it Off.. as I am looking through the Window.. I see a Beautiful woman.. and I see this WOMAN boarding into the train.. which caught my eyes quick.. but of course.. what am I going to do because I am meeting someone else.. I hear the foot steps and stops next the the seat I was sitting.. and I see YOU.. and I see you sit right next to me.. I am wondering.. WHY do my Heart.. WHY do I feel like I am getting a Heart attack.. WOULD my Heart stop attacking me from the Inside.. Please Stop jumping.. My Heart feels Like It is Jumping UP and DOWN so fast.. I wanted to hit my chest.. But.. A Beautiful woman Like you.. if YOU turn your Head and looks at me.. I think you would say I am Crazy.. like something is wrong with my Head.. so I would sit still.. and my Head turns to LOOK at YOU.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. so Amazingly Beautiful.. so Lovely INDEED.. as the train starts to Go.. I feel so Happy.. Happy that I get to see YOU.. even though I have Not met you yet.. as the train starts to pick up the speed.. the ride is bumpy and I am moving side to side.. I would bump on the side.. I see your Head turning.. Keeps on looking at me that I needs to stop.. I needs to control myself.. and I am trying.. but this Ride.. this Train.. it is going pretty fast and I think lots of small rocks.. because I would be moving side to side.. and the train would slow down its speed and I see that the BUMPY road stops.. I would turn my head.. I just can't stop looking at YOU.. I wanted to ask.. where are YOU going.. because I wanted to tell YOU.. I am going to meet someone so Special and that I am so excited to meet.. my friend is going to introduce me to my Love.. of course I did Not care what if it did Not work Out because I believe that it is going to be good.. it will work Out because I want Love.. I want to share my love.. speak of Love and tell about How I feel when I am in love.. as long as I am able to love YOU.. it did not matter if it is NO.. I am ready to Love YOU know.. but.. I see that YOU would be looking straight.. did NOT even turn aside.. did NOT even turn to look at me.. I am wondering Are you a sad Person.. must be a tragedy what YOU are going through.. I would turn my head towards the window.. and looking through.. and it would be hours of riding on this train.. but I did not care.. I am so happy anyways.. it can go for days and still I be happy to see YOU.. and for some reason I turn my Head to look.. I see something.. YOUR hand was holding something.. I am wondering.. what is that In your hand.. can I please take a Look.. It is a Picture.. But ALL I see is the Back.. the front.. I just can't tell.. as the train keeps on going.. and it would be about three hours of train ride and I see that the train would stop.. Now.. my two eyes would open.. and I am looking at the empty Chair.. WHY am I going back.. if I know that YOU are not coming.. YOU have been gone for about a Month.. what am I going to do if I go back to those beautiful Days.. and LOOK.. I am hurting so bad.. I feel like I should Not go back.. all it does is give me More pains.. I would be holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. and I would be crying TOP of it.. because I would miss YOU.. I would be sobbing.. just raining down my tears as I am holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. getting everything out.. but still I have more tears to rain down because Now.. I feel so Sad that YOU are gone.. why can't you come back.. is it really that Hard for YOU to come back.. YOU know that my arms are open wide.. YOU know that I will open the door for YOU.. and I will tell YOU how much I am so sorry.. that I am Not going to yell at YOU anymore.. of course YOU gave me so much chances.. I know How I screw up.. telling YOU that I am not going to yell.. telling YOU that I am going to change.. but the words.. I know YOU don't believe me Now.. waiting for YOU for weeks.. days goes By I would look out the window from the inside of this House.. I would also be walking out side.. waiting for YOU.. but.. I do not see YOU at all.. Only thing is that I can go back.. going back to the memories where YOU are living in my Heart.. I just can't wash YOU away.. that is why it

I am waiting for you.. How long has it been since I saw you last time.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. holding in my hands.. by the table.. I am waiting for YOU.. you told me that YOU are going to come.. I just received a message.. sending me a text message.. and I have been waiting but now it is getting later in the Night.. I would walk to the side where I would sit.. I would sit on the chair.. putting two plates.. I was in the kitchen.. cooking for few hours because I received your message.. My Heart.. I have never felt this Heart Beat hitting.. and for a long time I could not even hear from YOU.. I called you many many many times.. for more than weeks went by.. I even left you my voice on the message at the end.. asking YOU and begging YOU please to answer.. asking YOU that I wanted to hear you on the Other side.. I would call.. hearing the ringing.. and even typed a message on the Phone.. but for a long time now.. I have not received.. I even took pictures of the Plates.. different nights and I would send it to your Number.. and I know that YOU received it.. I been waiting for the answer.. just been waiting for YOU.. it seems like it has been years on my part of waiting.. asking YOU to come Home.. but YOU never answered and Finally I got Your Message.. and YOU even texted message me back telling me you are coming Home.. I even fell off the chair I was sitting on because I just could not believe.. I wondered if this was a Joke.. maybe a prank.. but I knew that It was YOU because it came from Your Number.. garlic Bread.. green beans with Corn and a Steak.. placing the Plate On your side of the table.. and I was so happy.. I would go across my side of the table and I sat down.. of course YOU never told me the hours when YOU would come Home.. I sat down just waiting.. as I pulled out your Picture.. I would be staring.. looking at Your Beautiful Face.. your Smile so Gorgeous and it lights My Heart on fire.. I would watch the Clock on the wall.. as it went from 30 minutes and it hits to about a hour.. I watch the time.. the clock keeps on ticking.. AS I sit on this Chair waiting for YOU.. but I do not hear anything from YOU.. I would lift UP the Phone.. I am dialing up your Number ON my phone.. but I decided to stop calling YOU.. as I would look at your Picture.. I would have to face another day.. another night comes.. I sit here alone without YOU.. I been waiting and waiting for YOU.. why don't you want to come Home.. why did YOU leave me a message telling me YOU were coming Home.. I even took the Picture of the Plate.. the Dinner I made for YOU so that we can eat together.. I send the picture to YOU.. I know that YOU received it.. WHY are you doing this to Me.. are you playing games with my Heart.. do you want to hurt Me because I know that I am hurt so Bad.. without YOU.. my days goes so Long.. it drags and the Clock stops ticking in front of Me.. YOU know that I been missing YOU.. I been needing YOU.. is it because YOU know How much I miss YOU.. that you are causing this Heart ache.. is it because YOU know How much I love YOU.. you are causing my Heart to cry inside.. I want to run in the rain.. I want to be washed UP by the waters of the cold.. soaking me to be wet.. my eyes would weep as I would stare into the night.. LOOKING at the walls asking for YOU.. begging for YOU to come Home.. why don't you want to see me.. why don't you want me to love YOU any more.. YOU know that I will love YOU.. you know how much I love YOU.. but why don't you come closer.. please tell me.. help me to understand why YOU want to put this distance between Us.. if YOU know.. I am like a lone wolf.. by myself I am howling loud for YOU.. wailing in my Heart.. screaming from my Lungs.. I need YOU.. I miss YOU.. I love YOU.. why don't you want me to Love YOU.. please tell me.. please help me to understand.. I been waiting for YOU.. YOU told me you were coming Home.. now four hours has gone by.. and my hour.. the time has pass by for me to sleep.. but I am still sitting here.. I am looking across.. looking at the Plate.. looking at the Chair.. the empty Chair where YOU sat once.. I feel so Bad because Now I am only looking at the chair.. that chair once that gave me the JOY.. the true happiness.. the smiles.. of course I did not know how much NOW I miss you.. and Now I see how much I love YOU because I am only looking at the Chair.. the empty chair where YOU sat down Once.. I do remember my friend came Over.. He looks at me and I was crumbling inside.. holding UP the Hard liquor and taking Shots from the Shot glass.. and He looks at me asking what is wrong.. and I would turn my Head.. and I would be looking at Your Chair.. which He saw me and He knew what I meant.. what My Heart was missing is YOU.. and He did come around when YOU were there.. knowing How much I am torn into pieces.. and I am crying in front of HIM because this Heart.. I was aching inside.. this Pain.. it felt like something sharp plunging into my stomach.. it hurts so bad.. I just couldn't breathe well and He knew.. My Pain.. and losing YOU how it affected everything I had.. and I saw the Chair.. now that chair is empty.. It hurts.. WHY does it hurts so bad.. it hurts me because I now know how much I love YOU.. and the Friend told me He can introduce me but I told that friend.. I don't need another.. I wanted YOU.. it does not matter how many sits on that chair.. it does not feel the same because I want YOU.. only YOU can sit on that chair and I would look and say to You.. I love YOU.. Now I am sitting here alone.. watching the Clock as it keeps on ticking slowly and waiting for YOU to come Home.. as I am looking at Your Picture.. I would say looking at your Picture.. did YOU just lied to Me.. were you not serious about coming Home.. why did YOU tell me through the text message that YOU are coming Home.. asking me to make Your Favorite Dish.. I even wrote back the message that I am going to the kitchen so that I can cook for YOU.. and I even took the picture of the Plate.. your favorite Dish and YOU also send two thumbs UP saying it is YOUR Favorite dish.. what you did not see is that I smiled when I received the two thumbs UP.. my Heart beat so fast because it is from YOU.. and I just could not believe that YOU send me text message.. it has been a while since I heard anything.. and after I took the picture and send.. I sat on my side of the table.. and kept on looking at the clock.. as the clock kept on ticking.. I wanted to ask when are YOU coming Home.. but I told myself just to be patient and just to wait.. Now I am looking at the Clock.. it has been five hours since the last message.. the text message I received.. I wonder if YOU are going to come Home tonight.. feels Like I needs to go to my Room and sleep through the Night.. will I see you tomorrow if I wait UP.. will you be here when I get UP to a new day or do I have to wait all over again.. it repeats over and over.. of course this time is a little different since I did received a Text Message.. a lot better than previous days.. weeks.. NO answer was such a Harsh reality to wake UP too.. but I do feel a little better because I know that it was YOU who sent me the message.. I guess I just needs to wait for More.. just give YOU more time.. and I believe the Time is the Only way it can heal what is going On.. because NO matter where YOU at.. I am always here waiting for YOU.. looking at your Picture.. telling You in the Picture How much I love YOU.. that I will always love YOU.. as I would get UP from the Chair.. I would look across.. the Plate.. and I see two Chairs.. I am wondering where did that Other Chair come from.. and I do remember that YOU brought another Chair.. Next to Your Chair.. YOU would sit the Giant Teddy Bear.. and I do remember you be playing with that Giant Teddy Bear.. telling me that YOU are her Friend.. and I would watch you holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. as YOU were sitting ON your Chair.. the Giant Teddy Bear had her own Chair too.. and I am smiling.. I do remember YOU telling me.. bring the Camera.. the Picture I am holding.. there was another Picture behind It.. I never knew that there were two pictures I was holding.. when I looked at the second Picture.. It was YOU smiling.. and YOU were sitting on your Chair.. and Next to YOU.. the Giant Teddy Bear sitting.. How you asking me to bring the Camera and to take picture of Both.. YOU and Your Friend.. I never knew that This was the last picture I would take before YOU would be gone.. I stood there.. looking at the two empty chairs.. I can feel my tears.. filling UP my eyes and two lines of tears streaming down.. only if I could go back to this time.. to be more careful with my Words.. Not to tell YOU anything that would Hurt YOU.. why did I say those words to YOU when YOU treated me with kindness and How much YOU put a smile ON my face.. why did I say those ugly words to Hurt you when NOW it is destroying me for Hurting YOU which made you walk Out the front DOOR.. as I am holding the Camera.. I would look through the Lens.. I am only seeing two empty Chairs.. DID YOU not ask me to bring you the Camera.. I would zoom in to get closer Look.. but ALL I see is two chairs.. both are empty.. and I start to cry.. as my tears would flood out from my eyes.. I just can't believe it.. and My hand lets go and the camera goes off my hand and lands On the floor.. if YOU are here.. I know that I would Not drop this Camera.. what good is this Camera Now if I can't even take YOUR picture any more.. why do you have to leave me like THIS.. I feel like my whole body is rotting.. it is decaying slowly.. oink oink