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I had a friend that I wouldn't ever want to lose, which I actively drove down the friendship to ruins just so I could "get it over with" quicker to process the pain faster of losing someone than try to mend it because I feared it, and felt like it's something that would happen anyway
My wife has bpd. I think it's actually one of the reasons we work. I tend to have muted emotions, but her more intense emotions tend to help me and my less intense emotions seems to let her temper her emotions off of me. I think we balance each other. I love my wife and I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing in our relationship. It just is.
Same, glad to see that it works for you. I usually can help keep her balanced, and she's able to help me actually feel something. We're just on opposite ends of the spectrum.
That comment literally made my day. Gut my diagnosis yesterday and there's so much awful comments about bpd and especially relationships with people with bpd
Hm, never thought ab it this way. No wonder I’ve always had a sense of attraction towards females with that kind of tendency. I guess opposites attract and them having extreme emotions is great complement to something I lacked
bpd is more than big feelings. it’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt times 100. it’s so painful and it causes people not to like us due to how emotional we are. it’s so excruciating. i don’t think i’ll ever be normal or have good relationships
The psychologist that diagnosed me with mild BPD told me "Good luck finding a therapist to talk to, nobody wants to work with BPD people because you all are manipulative". Thanks dude lmao 11/5 update: I just spoke with a counselor who is referring me to an intensive outpatient DBT program. I’m super excited ❤️
literally my first doctor (the one who diagnosed me when I was hospitalized) wouldn't put bpd in my file as a diagnosis b/c she said I wouldn't be able to find a doctor willing to work with me. she sat there and looked me in the face and said "i'm putting suspected personality disorder" (or something like that) "in your file but your diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. I just want you to be able to find a doctor and not scare everyone off."
Shawna Keating Yep. Mine refused to even test me when I brought up the fact that I was having a worrying amount of symptoms (I still am). She said I couldn’t have it because I’m not horrible. 🙄
When Stacy said it’s shame, constant, constant shame. That shook me to my core because I’ve never heard a more perfect way of describing my bpd shortly.
“I had a desire to manipulate someone to be with me “ is such an amazing self realization to have. It’s very hard to admit and even see yourself. @6:06
A doc tried to diagnose me with this, and I'm completely opposite. I mostly don't want the other humanoid apes anywhere near me. If they are near me, they must understand my need for space, AND watch Space Jam with me.
Absolutely. And the thing about BPD is that you feel immense shame and guilt over your behaviour, so admitting it to yourself is bad enough, let alone to everyone around you. But when I was coming to terms with my manipulative behaviour in past relationships, my therapist pointed out that the word "manipulate" has heavily negative associations and usually implies malicious intent, whereas people with BPD are usually driven by an overwhelming load of emotions and the mind is desperate to grab onto anything that can alleviate it. It's still damaging to the people around you and definitely not okay, but at least that helped me to deal with the guilt when coming to terms with it.
@@sicksadworld1376 I fee like you may have missed the point of the comment. Of course it's not brave to manipulate, they were referring to the fact that he admitted doing wrong despite the stigma and shame. No one's trying to mitigate the experience of the victims here.
@@Sekovatkain didn't say that op was mitigating victims, i implied that it's wrong to call abusers and manipulators "strong" and "brave", no matter the context. also, as a victim of abuse from a borderline, i feel pretty mitigated.
@@sicksadworld1376 Ah, I see. I'm sorry you had to go through that. In that case you probably have no reason to empathise with people who have BPD, and I understand that. I know being the victim of abuse (emotional or otherwise) is traumatizing, I've had my share as well. All I can say is that recognizing your toxic behaviour is the first step for changing it, even if you can't take back the damage you've already done. And that can be hard too. Still, I'd rather we encouraged the will to change than stigmatized people forever.
As someone who has BPD, I’ve had a healthcare professional tell me that I might be faking my depression (I suggested it while in a paranoid breakdown). When I suggested I might need to be hospitalised, she said that I should slit my wrists and go to the emergency room and then they’ll take me seriously. She was someone I considered a friend because I’d been seeing her for 2 years. It still hurts.
I have BPD. Im constantly empty and I cannot accept love from others because in my mind, they have ulterior motives. I grew up with a narcissistic mother, who to this day, will not change. She triggers my BPD every day, and its always all about her. Thank goodness I have two wonderful therapists and a good, solid group of friends at my new recovery home. Plus, my cat doesnt think im so bad, either ❤️
It would help so much to see a “I spent a day with ADHD people.” ADHD is so misunderstood to the point where people think only kids and males can have it. I could have got diagnosed so much earlier if there wasn’t such a stigma surrounding it! (edit: ALSO IT’S ADHD MONTH :))
My teacher from last year has ADHD and some of my classmates took advantage of that she really struggles trying not to be distracted by the kids talking over her but knows how to manage her time
emma rosalie so is autism, and he already made an episode with that. i think the dynamics can add more information, and even though there are very different symptoms, the core ones are mainly the same (inattention, executive function disorder, hyperactivity, and others [judging he would call combined patients, who have both inatention and hyperactivity])
As a teen with BPD I grew up thinking something was wrong with me. I never had anyone around me feel the way I did. I would just feel this overwhelming amount of emotions from something so small. It’s hard for me to understand many things others can just overlook. It felt like I was just going in circles. I was in 5 hospitals before finding out what was really happening. I hope to learn how to control or try to control my actions from my emotions.
i relate to this so much. ive had undiagnosed bpd my whole teenage life and only recently got diagnosed with it at 21 so I'm just about learning to cope and heal and I'm really hoping you're doing well on your journey as well 💖
Im sick and tired of these internet “profesional psychologists” telling everyone how much they support people with mental illnesess them tell everyone that “anyone who is showing sadness or is difficult should be marked as toxic and left alone until they magically heal.” This stuff is so common on instagram and makes me so mad. Thanks for the video.
I hope you’re doing well after your stay :) I’ve been to a couple hospitals and I know they don’t always help the most so I really hope you’re doing well
hope you’re doing well! haven’t had the best experiences with hospitals in the past, but i’ve met my bestfriend during a 4 weeks stay. couldn’t be happier that i finally found someone i could relate with.
Both I and my girlfriend have BPD and what helps us a lot is noticing and supporting each other when we are falling into a hole or feeling overwhelmed, sad, abandoned or angry. We talk it out and reaffirm to each other that we love each other and that we are not broken or unfixable. We need to support each others emotions more than a "regular" couple but we both agree that we have never been in a more stable and healthy relationship. I plan on proposing during our trip to Japan next summer. I know she'll say yes.
I have BPD and while I'm in a stable relationship it is VERY hard on not just myself but my wife.... I can literally go from fine or happy to crying or screaming in anger.... I also have autism and ADHD while with autism meltdowns it can make my BPD look SO MUCH WORK
I understand your pain so much. I always am regretful of letting my emotions get so intense. But I’ve never been diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I have multiple issues as well.
Can we please talk about how people with BPD are often the ones being abused in a relationship instead of the other way around because it's so easy for toxic people to take advantage of? They're not always the villains.
It’s really sad about how many people only associate bpd with manipulative and toxic behaviors. Bpd roots from childhood trauma whether emotional or physical and I think that people try to ignore that with a really narcissistic attitude.
Except it's usually the other way around. And because of unique issues with BPD often people with BPD will walk away feeling like they were the ones who were abused when in reality it was the other way around. Because of black and white thinking and issues with shame and guilt, many with BPD will block put their own behaviors. Misremember them or not remember them at all. They will also wrongfully see other peoples normal behaviors as being abusive or controlling when in reality it was the exact other way around. They will literally create false memories to justify their own behaviors. It's a terrible disorder and I'm not saying people with BPD aren't ever abused but abuse and manipulation from people with BPD is almost inevitable. My ex wBPD once told me that her kid was pitching a fit and that she thought she might hurt her and wouldn't care at all. She told me that she spent thousands of dollars on her exes credit card and that he deserved it because he was mean to her. This was after admitting to me all the terrible things she had said to him that caused him to be mean to her. It's a terrible disorder and I do empathize with anyone who has to live with it. But I more so empathize with the people who have been victims of someone with BPD.
@@mariannev9869 nobody is trying to ignore that BPD is caused by trauma. The problem is that doesn't excuse terrible and abusive behavior that comes from people with BPD.
@@nameunknown7 but when you are out through such trauma at such a young age (when your brain is developing), you are out into a position where you think that this is how people behave and how love works from family which can cause you to treat others like that without even thinking about. Keep in mind, this is literally a mental disorder. It can excuse multiple behaviors because extreme anger is one of the main symptoms of bpd. People with bpd have extremely strong emotion and take everything 100x stronger than most people. The point is how so many people only label people with bpd as abusive which ruins the entire understanding of it. Once again, because of the intense emotion, when a pwBPD hears that this is what people think about them, it makes everything worse. It makes THEM feel like the problem that should be gotten rid of rather than their behavior. Because of the brain development that occurs during the physical/emotional trauma, that is how our minds are developed. It can put beliefs in a distorted view (more symptoms like unstable self-image, black and white thinking). People with BPD can’t just control and calm down the behaviors they have and in most cases don’t realize it until a lot later on.
“Emotion Regulation Disorder” - dude, that’s a MUCH more accurate name!! I’ve been taught that BPD is on the same wavelength as sociopathy/psychopathy. This video is really eye opening.
This is much more accurate. I have BPD and am in college for Psychology research. When the topic of BPD came up, most students thought it was Sociopathy/Antisocial Personality. I heard a lot of negative comments about manipulation and craziness. It made me very uncomfortable
@@kolsoymoroboto I am currently taking Psychology and the way a teacher spoke about people with BPD... warning students that we should decide if we can handle the "extreme" disorders before we ever end up in the field "for our own safety". Logging out of the lecture didn't quite have the same power of standing up and walking out though
Not at all. As someone with borderline I would take it to my grave that we are the furthest thing from a socio or psycho path. A sociopath only does their actions of violence or anything immoral in secret so no ones eyes can see and they can still be viewed well, a psychopath would still try to lean towards the ladder, since they have the ability to channel their anger(?) and plan, calculate, and move forward on it. We react impulsively, immediately, we don’t have the time to hide it and it’s not like we are evil, it’s just straight up anger. And anger, by the way, always stems from another emotion. Look up “Anger Iceberg”. The best way to describe it is that it’s just more amplified for us because the emotions inside us are usually similar ones, that also happen to be so intense, much more frequent, and so we are prone to it. Not even on the same level as those terms. If all the mental illnesses I’m the world we’re put on a spectrum Socio and psychopaths would be put on one end and all the furthest away from it would be borderline on the other side.
I watched this when it came out and thought I was very similar, but didn’t question it. Now two years later and I was diagnosed with bpd. Rewatching this really helped me come to terms and made me feel less alone. I’m so thankful Anthony does these videos
A big danger with BPD as well is staying in toxic and/or narcissistic situation/relationships...knowing that toxicity will stay to repeatedly refuel itself having a willing host (being the person with BPD). Most toxic ppl fear abandonment just as much as those with BPD, so its rare to see either person leave the relationship to become healthier.
I’m surprised none of them talked about feeling empty, depersonalization, derealization, dissociating. I deal with those symptoms the most and it would’ve been nice to hear their experiences.
Came here to make the same comment. The feeling of emptiness is chronic and I feel it now more than other symptoms. Maybe because I learnt positive coping mechanism but again I guess every experience is different.
I have BPD and I usually don’t discuss these symptoms because I feel ashamed about them. So I can understand why they may have decided not to share about this part.
Having been treated for BPD for a couple years now, I can say that even after recovering a little bit and learning to manage symptoms and irrational thoughts, the *worst* part of BPD is the stigma behind it. The moment people learn you have it, they seem to confuse you to be a narcissist or psychopath... it's really upsetting. Other than that, it's always been the overwhelming fear that you'll never get any better and that everyone will leave you.
Many psychologists don't agree with calling it BPD because it's a really poor representation. Emotional regulation disorder doesn't exactly sound great either but it's more fitting than "personality disorder" and "borderline" makes it sound as if we're always teetering on the border of crazy town and that everyone around us needs to sleep with one eye open.
@@self-care_warrior look up "female hysteria" , this wasn't that long ago in history. Now look at BPD and the drugs and blame for your own trauma. Same shit.
What can also be mentioned about the gender gap are people being misdiagnosed. It is fairly common that women with ADHD are first misdiagnosed with BPD since there are quite many symptoms that overlap (impulsive behavior that can be risky or self destructive, emotional dysregulation, higher chance of substance abuse, rejection sensitivity, to name a few) . When I was diagnosed with BPD, the criteria almost felt like it was made for me, but as I got older and changed environments, I no longer fit the criteria. 6 years after my BPD diagnosis, I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (ADD). If I remember right, I also read that men are commonly misdiagnosed with ASPD or NPD before getting their BPD diagnosis. I would love more studies on this because I think it could change a lot in the medical world and how they look at mental health.
Funny enough it was the opposite for me I spent years thinking I had ADHD and after going through thorough evaluation they think it was really BPD the whole time
I would love to see you do a “I Spent a Day with Formerly Homeless People”. My boyfriend recently transitioned out of homelessness and I think a video with more people like him would inspire and make him feel less alone.
I would love this too! I'm a recovering heroin addict and was homeless for 3 years in a tent under the freeway begging for money w a cardboard sign. Being homeless is a traumatic experience and it stays with you. It's really hard to get out of it .
@@L._._ well done from fighting it and coming out on top but I'm so sorry that you went through that, it must of felt like it would never end and that every moment felt like an eternity I'm so glad you're out of that
I’ve never had a “Stable” relationship in my life. My father was/is a Narcissist and Sociopath caused by child abuse and my mother is the same diagnosis. I was an only child born into a cult marriage. I’m all kinds of messed up. I’ve had just about every diagnosis in the DSM batted at me over time since my first hospitalization at 10. I’m 32 and currently standing with 28 Hospitalization and on 16 pills a day (Most are multiple pills of one drug given throughout the day I don’t take them all at once) But it’s my BPD that causes me the most trouble. I have no one. Except my abuse ex I cling to because he’s all I have left other than my Cats. I’ve lost the will to live at this point. Not to survive. I don’t WANT to DIE I just have no motivation to go find a good life for myself. I’ve now been bed bound for 4 years and am desperately trying to claw my way out of this hole anyway I can. But when you’re being put down and screamed at all day it makes things worse. The worst thing is I know my ex could survive without me but I can’t without him so I have to humiliate myself by giving him money to help me because I have no one else who gives even cares. We had two kids together, my only two good decisions I’ve ever made was to give them up for adoption as babies to the same family so that they could at least have each other if I couldn’t be there and be well enough to care for them. BPD is a rollercoaster from hell with no seatbelt, you’re lucky if you survive at all and you’ll definitely be permanently injured by it at some part on the track of the roller coaster. Stay strong everyone. Don’t give up hope. Keep trying. I hope all sufferers don’t have to go thru what I do. Love and Light to All❤
i hope things are better now for you . giving you a big virtual hug, you deserve so much better, you are strong, you're worth more than what you think. i think explaining your disorder to ppl around you may help them understand you better.
I used to have BPD. I’ve heard BPD used as an armchair diagnosis and insult, by the people around me, not knowing that I had BPD. I have tried my best to suppress this part of myself, because I knew that if I showed the people around me this “dark side”, they would all run away. The people that I have shown this side all have. It takes so much effort to just stay alive, to suppress these mental illnesses for the comfort of others. I used to think I would rather just die, existing in this pain was just too much. But with a lot of self awareness, reading a lot of self help books, visiting a psych, going for therapy, taking my meds every day, I have improved so much. I am no longer diagnosed with BPD. It’s not easy, it took me years. But I just want to let all the people who have suffered this same illness know that, there is hope. It is possible to come to appreciate this life and all the things in it, in spite of your illness. Sending love to all the people suffering out there, you can do it. I see your efforts, trying to stay alive. And I am proud of all of you. Keep on the good fight, and never doubt that you deserve as much love as any human on this planet, in spite of your illness.
You CAN'T cure BPD, you still have it or you never had it, it's not something that goes away. You live with it forever, you just learn how to deal with it.
@@dilarabasturk9698 a KRplusr who used Anthony's video on Dissociative Identity Disorder to troll the whole community and actually triggered SO MANY people/systems with DID. Including one KRplusr in Anthony's video DissociaDID and I know that Trisha was harassing their system and invalidating them and it triggered DissociaDID to the point they had another alter come into existence from this
When I was in college, newly diagnosed with BPD, I was in a psych class taught by a licensed, practicing psychiatrist. When BPD came up, she went on a long tirade about how even mental hospitals shouldn't bother to try to treat these hyper-manipulative, evil, incurable women. I was lucky that incident made me angry at her instead of myself, because that could have been devastating. She was supposedly reprimanded, but as far as I know, she's still working.
That's absolutely horrible!! BPD is so misunderstood and just because they find it difficult to treat right now doesn't mean they shouldn't bother! We've gotten better at treating mental illness in the past few decades, at least if you compare it to how mentally ill people were treated just a hundred years ago, but it's still not good enough. All people deserve a chance at a good, happy life.
I toke a psych class in highschool when I was at the height of my BPD and I'm very glad BPD never came up because I wasn't diagnosed yet and if that teacher (one of my favorite ones) talked about BPD and then shamed people who had it I would have been ruined because as soon as I know what BPD was I knew I had it just from how people described it and their experiences with it, some people suck I'm sorry you went through that
I might be perfectly fine one moment and then my friend will say something that I perceive as even remotely negative, and I start to distance myself often without even realizing. I am constantly overanalizing facial expressions and the tone of someone's voice for traces of anything other that happiness and if my brain thinks it's found it then it's game over. It leaves me with very few friends and no one to trust, because I always assume that they're mad at me or they don't care or they don't want me.
I've destroyed every relationship I've ever had. Either because I cannot believe someone truly cares about me and I drive them away, or because they truly didn't have my better interest in mind and my disbelief led to finding out the truth. I'm going to destroy my friendships by constantly verifying their validity or I confirm that they were invalid, dishonest, and malicious.
My sister has BPD and her whole life people has just labelled her as a “brat” or “looking for attention”, which makes me so angry. People genuinely don’t understand the disorder and categorize these people as overreacting.
My sister also was recently diagnosed with bpd. It’s difficult to get out of that mindset but I’m slowly learning and trying to be more empathetic towards her
what if everyone that blurts out the labels also have bdp, since they couldn't control their frustration directed to your sister? or even just 1 person.
Kristen i completely understand. It’s hard, and it took me into adulthood to accept her and actually love her, as horrible as it sounds. I love her so much now and try to help her in anyway that i can.
....or maybe people who had it in the past ? I don't think that'd be very ... appropriate? for someone suffering from anorexia to just talk about how they didn't eat today
@@Amber-ev5ui true but similar to drug addicts, like I’m sober but I’m still an addict. someone who has recovered from anorexia, despite having recovered they still have the disease.
My relationship with BPD is so complex. My mam has the disorder. I know the pain it causes her and feel so sorry for her, but I also hate how she manipulates me and has since I was a small child. She is a victim of BPD, but in a lesser way so am I. It's so complicated and hurtful, and although I love her so much I cannot speak to her about the hurt she has done to me, because I know the reaction I would get from that conversation. It's also extra complicated as she is also an alcoholic, which exacerbates the issues. But no child should be stopping their mother's suicide attempts or being told they are hated, and then within hours being love bombed and cried on about how much their parent misses them. A horrible illness, for which the patients need much more support, but also their family.
Sometimes people might forget that just because someone doesn't mean to hurt others, the pain they inflict doesn't stop existing... My mom has it too, I know she's a good person, I understand her motivations and the nature of her disorder, I understand she cannot control herself; but the manipulation, verbal and psychological violence is still exist towards me. So yes, we can be empathic to them, but don't ever feel guilty for not letting them hurt you, empathy doesn't mean negligence with ourselves.
@@danielagutierrez893 Thank you for your reply, I hope you are doing well, and know that I understand at least in some way what you are going through as well x
Sounds like my mom so much minus the alcohol abuse. Watching her try to kill herself broke me. I have this disorder, so I wanna say thanks for your testimony
I have been diagnosed with ADHD but I know a lot of people with BPD and some symptoms I really empathise with - like the ‘shame’ part that the writer woman talks about. People with ADHD also always feel shame from loss of control and not being enough etc etc. Talking to my friends though I know the crossover isn’t that huge between BPD and ADHD, it’s such a shame that BPD has such a bad rep though, everyone I know who has it is so full of love and especially when they manage it and work on the behaviours that push people away.
@@Bimby-b Yeah I agree, I have ADHD and not BPD but a lot of what overlaps really really stood out to me. It just makes me feel so much for people who are stigmatized by it.
I love that Anthony is so open minded and he actually treats everyone like they are valid and I love that Edit: sorry if my wording made it seem that I think people aren’t valid. I was more trying to make a point that Anthony is such a nice human being and also, if I made my wording unclear I just thought it was nice that he doesn’t care because he is such a nice person... sorry again
Jxst Johnny yeah you’re right, but some people treat other people differently and I like that he doesn’t do that, sorry if what I said was unclear or sounded rude I did not intend it to sound that way
I've never clicked so fast. I have BPD and it's SO hard to find good representation of our disorder. The stigma around BPD is horrible. Most of the books you find on it are about getting away from us, how we're awful and manipulative and abusive and it's honestly so heartbreaking. I'm about to watch the video, knowing that I will find an interview that is fair and treated with kindness and understanding. Thank you for these videos.
exactly, It makes me want to distance myself even more when i see what kind of representation we have. an ex friend of mine stopped being friends with me because i had bpd
My girlfriend has BPD and we’re always talking about our problems to each other. My OCD and her BPD, the things that we’re going through and how we can manage it by helping each other. I’m always helping her whenever and however I can and she loves me for that, and I love her for having the courage to tell me these things because she feels like she can’t tell anyone else.
Lol your relationshup is opposite to mine, I have the OCD and my boyfriend has BPD. Same in the aspect of supporting one another. Makes our lives easier when we don’t have to worry about our partner judging us for our differences. He doesn’t have to feel constant shame around me which helps to keep him from splitting.
So my girlfriend of 4 months just told me she has BPD. I went to reddit and have pretty much just been told "run" or "your fucked". How is your relationship going? I'm just worried by all the negative responses. It's an overwhelming amount.
I was diagnosed with bpd almost a year ago while in the hospital, I still remember how hard it hit me when I got the diagnosis. Now I’m going to therapy regularly, trying to form healthy relationships and slowly learning how to manage it. Thank you anthony for taking the time to learn and educate others on a disorder that has been demonized for far too long ❤️
Ig i already have an adhd diagnosis which hit me rly hard and then an autism diagnosis at 15 which i was alot more accepting of, and i self diagnosed so im able to give it to myself and not force it on myself, im glad i have other ones lol
As someone who has BPD, this video made me cry. It seems like no one talks about it, and it’s so misunderstood. I was diagnosed last year by my psychiatrist, and even my dad who is an ER doctor did not believe that I have it. Even some medical professionals don’t totally understand it, and it’s so hard to get better when your own parent can’t get behind it. Thank you for this video. This gave me a lot of relief, truly.
Did your dad actually tell you he didn't believe you? Just curious because I know someone that says others don't believe her because they encouraged her to be honest with her therapist so she decided be honest with your therapist was the same thing as we don't believe you need help. I'm not assuming that's your situation just offering another side of the situation and hoping it may help someone
@@anniepalmerpercussion4050 Aww I'm sorry to hear that but proud of you for getting the professional help you need. Even though I don't know you I know your freaking brave 💪
If it’s possible at all, I’d like to see you do Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD.) I notice that people demonize those that have this disorder too. We’re all humans, I’d like to see somebody talk about this without passing judgment
I genuinely hope this will happen! I wrote a dm to Anthony long ago about this but as expected he didn’t respond (which is understandable with the sea of inquiries he gets tbh). Thank you so much for suggesting this!
NPD is something important to learn about, for everyone's safety especially those who suffer from dealing with it! From my understanding, it's self-hatred turned outward.
Would anyone that actually has a diagnosis of NPD actually be interviewed, or would they just sit there any say “But there’s nothing wrong with me. Everyone else is the problem!”
I promise you if your mother's soul can speak to your soul right now. It would be balling its eyes out on its knees at your feet. Explaining how sorry it was forever hurting you and don't ever let the ilunless be a reflection of my real love and devotion. For you my precious child
please do “I spent a day with severe phobia disorder” as someone who suffers from an extreme “irrational” phobia, it’s something that drastically impacts my daily life and I would love to see other people who can relate to this and bring awareness to it Edit: thank you so much for everyone who has shared their phobias❤️ reading these comments have made me feel so much less alone in the struggles I go through everyday. Anthony PLEASE do this episode it would mean so much
Yes, that is a good video idea. I have Extreme Claustrophobia, I remember having nightmares of being stuck in a tight cave with no space to move around. Worst moment of my life
i started crying lol bc i've never been able to put it into that simple of a sentence. it was just an overhwhelming "finally" feeling that dropped fucking weight first on me
I have BPD and it makes me feel bad when people around me leave. Thank you for talking to people like me about their lives. You helped me understand more about my disorder.
I know that this is an older video, but I was recently diagnosed with BPD. This helped me further understand my diagnosis. I always thought I was just really sensitive, but this is very comforting to me
Maybe split it up into two different videos, one for PTSD and one for C-PTSD. (Could even do a third one specifically for war veterans that doesn't have to be about PTSD at all, I'm sure those guys have other interesting things to talk about as well.)
After seeing these comments I didn’t even realize I had C-PTSD (never knew the term). I was wondering why the treatment I was given just wasn’t working. But for PTSD it’s usually a one-off while CPTSD is usually a reoccurring thing like kidnapping or neglect (sorry of this triggers anyone). It feels really comforting to see others who have experiences like me.
Anthony: This is a serious issue Also Anthony: Casually crashes through the ceiling Edit: I don't actually think he's being insensitive, but I think it's funny.
@Steven Bristol you and your brother give me so much hope, I had a similar thing happen to me that you went through, for me its one of those things only I can joke about or else I have a panic attack, but I know other people who have gone through this kind of thing where they'll joke about their experience and they are okay with and some even enjoy when others join in with the jokes. Its so important to find healthy (for you and others around you) ways of normalizing and coping with any type of trauma so you can keep going on strong and loving and willing to share that love and strength with yourself. So thank you so much for telling your's and your brother's stories. I hope you two are doing your best to stay healthy and safe
i was recently diagnosed with BPD and have felt simultaneously relieved to have an answer, and also very.. well, scared, to be judged as a person all based on it's stigma that some people carry towards it. I'm still learning the very basics about BPD, and feel really overwhelmed about all of it; so for me, this couldn't have come at a better time. I'm so happy to hear from these guests about all their individual experiences with borderline and to know that people who are watching get a chance to better understand BPD, including myself. Thank you for all the amazing awareness you bring to so many groups of people that are often misunderstood, and just the stories in general you give a platform to. I always love learning about all the different challenges the guests on your channel face, and all the unique ways they overcome them and persevere! Thank you for being such a good host and always handling every topic with kindness and respect 🤗
ily and anthony both aw i miss u on here and look forward to when you come back! but also no rush, im so glad you spent this time for yourself after everything, you needed that personal time! anyways ily
I was just diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago. I feel super overwhelmed as well because I'm trying to understand how to handle. And it doesn't seem like there are "triggers" so I still don't know what to do help. I go to therapy again in November. I feel so scared to how my family is going to react 😞 my husband is super supportive though. If you ever need to talk then I'm here for you. A support system is a big deal with an mental illness. ❤
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but the way that this was worded really threw me off. We don't *need* anything. Talking about your struggles, especially to such a huge audience, is hard and scary and really stressful. He will talk about his life and his struggles when and if hes ready to and nobody should tell him otherwise. Please try not to pressure him to do things like this, even tho I know you don't mean it that way.
ella ! אלה I agree. The wording is a bit assertive... Because People shouldn’t ever feel obligated to talk about their personal struggles. Anthony would do anything for his fans, I feel like the implication could put pressure on him.
We don’t ✨need✨ him or anyone else to open up about anything. Please stop looking at these people like disciples of mental health, Anthony seems like a great guy but there’s a difference between a stranger venting about their personal life for 20 minutes in front of a camera and a real psychoanalytical breakdown of someone to better educate an audience
My names Christian, and I am medically diagnosed with BPD. She's right in saying mental health professionals sometimes refuse to treat us. I recently went to a mental hospital off a suicide attempt, and the doctor released me immediately as soon as I revealed that I have BPD. She said "we can't help you, you're too manipulative". She barely even talked to me for 10 minutes lol wth
Similar experience,had to go to five separate mental health professional because I kept getting dismissed and it would always be "we find that people like you don't actually want help" or straight up "BPD is hard for us to work with" bruh it's hard to live with too but ok ig. Got misdiagnosed twice too.
@@sweetlittlenothing7696 If no one is willing to be there for you, please take my advice and just go to God and his word. Jesus healed people from all sorts and can do the same for you through the Holy spirit.
NenitaLunita my childhood anxiety and depression turned into BPD. I was diagnosed wrongly with depression (or so I thought) when I was 13. I'm 15 now and got diagnosed with anxiety, BPD and bipolar this year. I just wanted to say there's nothing to be scared of or freak out about. It's rare that it does turn into it and if it does it's a slow process. You won't wake up one day like a new person. :)
Benji Neo thanks. I really hope my comment didn’t come off as offensive to anyone suffering from BPD or anything else. I understand and empathize with anyone who may be sensitive to jokes like this and please know I meant no disrespect or harm.
It's now BPD Awareness Month, and as someone who was diagnosed with 15, this is in incredible video. The love, the understanding, everythinh about this is wonderful. I'm now 20, turning 21, and I am in a fairly successful relationship for almost 4 years now. The number one tip I can give you is communication is key. Find different ways to communicate if talking is hard. You got this
@@BB-bw8tk you absolutely can. Even here in the USA. I am 26 now and was diagnosed at 15, reevaluated at 18 and again at 23. That's standard. Especially if you have a family history as a lot of these diagnosis are genetic.
I found out I had BPD through a mental hospital, not through the place I was going to therapy for years. They always dismissed my explanations and say it would be describe by it being my depression or like “processing.” It made zero sense to me so, I of course ended up in a hospital and a doctor just flat out told me after asking a few questions that I had BPD. Brand new journey really I have a whole new therapy place I go too and met my new psychiatrist. Went through an IOP program. Next Monday I get to get in with my new therapist and hopefully establish a therapist as well as going through the proper diagnosis system, because I was told I’m high in some of the test I’ve done, for both BPD and Bipolar so it’s definitely a confusing process. And frustrating because once a proper diagnosis is made I can try to help myself better than just being stuck between two disorders not really knowing wtf is wrong with me.
When Anthony talked about the self shame associated with depression, I felt validated. I often felt guilty for being depressed while living a very nice life. Like I was thinking about how people have it much worse than I do and it’s wrong for me to feel this way. Thank you, Anthony, for mentioning that.
I ended up having a huge breakdown from telling myself to suck it up because I had “no reason to be so sad”, and that my life was so “great” that I should be ashamed of being suicidal. Depression is really a monster!
I'm not diagnosed with depression but I feel that so much, the guilt is so so strong that I want to kill myself. Then I feel wrong for feeling that way because I have a good life and I take it for granted
@@d3adm3mori3s9 The best thing I learned is that you don’t need a reason to feel depressed. Sure, sometimes there can be one like if you lose a loved one that meant the world to you or something. But sometimes it’s just something else. It’s something bigger than just a reason. I can’t explain it, but sometimes you just need help. And it’s okay to get help. It’s crucial to get help!
That's what I tell my mom. There are people being murdered right now and I'm mentally unstable for almost no reason. I get triggered so easily and for what? People are literally dying and here I am having mental breakdowns because I try to get in the shower but the waters cold? It honestly baffles me sometimes.
I've struggled with trying to explain BPD to my friends and family. After showing this to my husband he finally said "I'm so sorry that I have not been able to understand what's going on" he's always been there for me but now it is comforting that he understands just a bit more. To anyone who needs to hear it: You are NOT your disorder it is a PART of you. You are a WONDERFUL person and deserve to be loved.
Borderline here. Still working on understanding myself more, but I just realized I have NEVER planned a leaving of a job. It has always been a super emotional and on a whim experience where I leave that VERY moment due to some sort of emotional outburst
The first time I came to this channel I was soo shocked,,I watched 4 videos just going through the comments,I was like WOW,,I just wish I found this channel earlier
I was misdiagnosed for nearly 30 years as just having depression. Finally diagnosed a year ago with attachment disorder and BPD. I still struggle with these and more, but at least I am now medication free and can practice some mindfulness. I am very aware of others emotions, but unfortunately you will no longer find many in me. I say that I feel for others when they're having hard times, but I truly don't get to the level of empathy.
@@shelbyharper1124 To be honest, I don't know how much the medications changed my brain chemistry for good and if that has a lot to do with not having a lot of real emotions anymore?...
@Shelby Harper I guess I didn't totally respond to your question last time. Overall, I do feel better not being on medications. I was in a fog for many years and it cost me my family and my career...eventually. I still struggle with a lot of the same things I struggled with while on medication, including, thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. So, I don't think those kinds of things will ever change. I'm just trying to learn to live with them and live with the chronic depression. Trying to learn self love for the 1st time in my life. Again, overall, I think it's better for me and still working to be more self-aware of my thoughts and actions. Granted reality can be tough.
I have bpd. I have never felt so seen. Thank you Anthony. I'm crying just watching this. It's so hard to remember you aren't alone. Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me.
When I google bpd to find other people's experiences with it, I only ever find articles about how to deal with family members who have it, and how to deal with "their manipulative ways" 🙃
@@allienixon8959 Also it's very hard to find the right treatment for. If you can get treatment many times it's not from someone who actually has the knowledge to treat it. I remember it took nearly 10 years for me to find DBT and by that point I almost didn't do it because every psychiatrist and therapist I went to wasn't capable of making any sort of progress with me no matter how hard they tried. It takes someone with a very particular set of skills and knowledge to help with it. Also, for so long it was very hard to study scientifically because it was almost always misdiagnosed and nobody knew how to treat it when it was diagnosed. A major catalyst in treatments and understanding now actually came from someone who had it, logged everything down, and figured out the inner workings and treatment of it through their own trial and effort which is pretty incredible to me.
@@sourgreendolly7685 This is true, but it doesn't make the impact some people with BPD have any less devastating... I just hope more research can be done to really help people with BPD, in turn, helping those around them.
The fact that these people can open up about the things they've done because of this disorder shows an enormous amount of self compassion. That's amazing.
Something that didn't come up during this interview that is important to know is that not all people with BPD are acting out in a way that can be easily seen! There are also people with BPD where the pain and emotional turmoil is first and foremost directed inwards, and there are not as many emotional outbursts. That can make it even harder to get the correct diagnosis, because by many people (including psychiatrists) BPD is always seen as something that is centered around acting out a lot and something that can easily be seen. I've been told by a psychiatrist who met me for the first time that "she didn't think I had BPD" after only talking for a short while, which is a mind boggling thing to me.
this describes me perfectly and i haven't been able to get a diagnosis yet because the symptoms i do have aren't too outwardly projected so a lot of people don't think i could have it but i always have all of these feelings that they described trapped inside my head because things like my adhd make me mask most of my emotions for other people due to fear of rejection and abandonment. that's what is so difficult about these things, because i know what's going on in my head but other people dismiss it because i direct everything inwards which can even make things worse sometimes not to be able to let things out.
a lot of times i'd get written off as "sensitive" when certain things happened that made my emotions be expressed in a more extreme way than others, which also contributed to me hiding a lot of my emotions and watering down everything i feel. i also had an experience where i told my therapist recently after not seeing her for a while that i had related to all of the symptoms for bpd and wanted to look further into it even if it could end up being something else, and she immediately told me "there's nothing else besides the adhd you're already diagnosed with that i could see you getting a diagnosis for." which then made me feel more invalidated because i know something else is going on, whatever it is, and just because a lot of my emotions get filtered for others and they don't see it right away, they won't even consider it.
This made me want to cry. This is something I've struggled with for so long, so hearing others share their experiences too feels both painful but relieving at the same time. Thank you for spreading awareness on this debilitating disorder.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, depression and anxiety in 2014 when I was 14. I never had anyone in my life who actively understood me or even wanted to empathize and genuinely help me, so seeing other people who struggle the same as me is so relieving. It really helps me feel less shame, and less alone! Blessings to you and your recovery! I currently have a boyfriend of nearly 2 yrs who has seen me in all my glory and never abandoned me, so it does get better, and there ARE people out there who love us back ♡
@BPD World thank you, theres always a voice that tries to convince me hes faking it or hes going to leave me but he FIRMLY stops that voice every time when he tells me hes here because he loves me and never wants to leave. I've been told that before but with him I know it's TRUE ♡
As someone with bpd I feel so validated and finally humanized, the way Anthony talks about us is sympathetic and it feels so nice to have someone not only listen to people and learn from people with bpd but have a completely open mind about it and not completely assume we are monsters.
I watched this before diagnosis, thinking I just had anxiety and depression, and after, and I’m just so shocked that I didn’t see it sooner. All of this makes sense. I love the way he handled this topic because I don’t feel bad talking about. I just feel like “wow this is relatable”, but it feels safe. So thank you again for this video. 💜
As someone with BPD, I am ALWAYS a little hesitant when I see media discussing us, since we're so often demonized and misunderstood, but let me tell you, my little overly emotional heart is filled with joy right now! Thank you for giving us a voice and taking the time to listen, it literally means the world!
I honestly heard of BPD, but never actually knew what it was. Im so glad I was able to learn about it! I’m sad it is so demonized, it is not that hard to understand.
I would love to see a "i spent a day with a person with narcolepsy" its so underrepresented, misunderstood and even ignored in the medical community! It would mean so much to see some representation, accurate vs the Hollywood version, as a person with narcolepsy!
The worst part about bpd is having such an intense fear of abandonment yet you push everyone who's ever loved you away until they inevitably leave you.
YAY IT’S HERE 💖 Not surprised you handled this with such grace and respect, thank you for this huge chunk of positive representation for our heavily stigmatized group! 🌈🌼🍀 Especially in recommending people do further research and not self diagnose immediately from this video- personality disorders are serious life long conditions and there are a loooot of other disorders that commonly get misdiagnosed as BPD! (ASD, C-PTSD, Bi Polar and even DID to name a few 💜) Definitely helps to get a second opinion and do some digging!! I recommend Dr. Daniel Fox on KRplus to anyone with BPD looking for some self help at home along with therapy if possible. Lovely episode Anthony 🥰
Spend a day with autistic women! Autism is very different in males and females, which is not a wide known fact. Women with autism are usually diagnosed very late in life (30yr+) or they may go their whole life undiagnosed (due to masking).
I got diagnosed with autism when I was 16 and in my opinion it was too late... The sooner you get a diagnosis, the sooner you can get the help you need.
He does have this video. It is what introduced me to his channel. :) To clarify, he had women and men and not just women, but I still was so happy to see the representation.
Radioinactive Scarlet _ I got diagnosed when I was 19 and it really helped me! I think it just depends on the individual. Now that I am officially diagnosed with autism I’m able to be a lot kinder and understanding towards myself instead of ruminating my odd existence over and over all day long.
i just wanted to say that this video really helped my understanding of BPD! i’ve been cut off by close friends & family members with BPD with no explanation of why. for years, the losses of those relationships plagued me. they still make my heart hurt, but hearing your guests speak about their experiences made me understand my loved ones’ behavior so much better. i think it’s super important to spread awareness and understanding of BPD, as the folks who have it are often villainized by mental health professionals. (i once asked a therapist how to cope with the extremes of loved ones’ BPD symptoms and they told me “avoid them at all costs, that person is toxic to you”. that didn’t help!!!) borderline folks, you are loved and don’t deserve any stigma!
I had a 16year long friendship with a girl with bpd. Last year I had to cut strings since she refused to get help and always tendet back to self harming behavior which really broke my heart. She also got more and more aggressive towards me so I had to leave for my own sake.. I am so happy to see people getting help and having a somewhat positive outlook on the future. Espacially the words "there is treatment, things can get better" really touched me. I hope she one day will come to that Realisation as well.
Would love to see an interview focused on quiet bpd. bpd is already so stigmatized as-is, and I feel quiet bpd has another layer of misunderstanding to it. would love for others to see that all these feelings can be directed inwards and don't always look so fiery and explosive/reactive.
I agree with this! I have been diagnosed with Quiet BPD (as well as a whole bunch of other disorders over the last 16 years) and hearing people say that BPD is "obvious" by the outbursts and reactivity is pretty invalidating. I have all those reactions and outbursts but they are directed inwards and not at other people. The other one I hear a lot is that people with BPD are sexually promiscuous but that doesn't account for the fact that BPD often stems from childhood abuse which for some can lead to this and to others (like myself) leads to completely avoiding any type of sexual experience. I find those two big are the biggest stereotypes of BPD - outbursts and sexuality and I (and others) don't even experience them! Also the misdiagnosing that occurs is an important issue too. I've been diagnosed depression, schizoaffective, bipolar, generalised anxiety, dysthymia - wrongly medicated for 15 years with shitty side effects (gained 50kg I still haven't completely shifted) and then diagnosed BPD, major depressive disorder and now my current diagnosis is cPTSD, major depressive disorder and PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) and all my medications being changed around. The journey of diagnosing is important to talk about too especially in this culture of "i saw a few tiktok/youtube videos, read an article, I totally have *insert disorder here*". Some of these disorders co-exist so it's not always a case of finding the one diagnosis. There are also similarities between a lot of disorders - depending which psych I talk to they say I have BPD OR cPTSD. cPTSD is not in the DSM but many psych's are pushing for it to be and will still diagnose it whereas others won't diagnose anything that isn't in the DSM so fall back to BPD because of the similarities. Point is it's such a complicated issue. Don't just get second opinions, get third opinions and don't let anyone diagnose you after talking to you for 45 minutes. That's not near enough to get a full scope of your experience. Ask about side effects of medication AND do your own research (I was 14 when medicated and didn't know to do this, wish I had). Never diagnose yourself or others from seeing videos/articles. And honestly, remember it's much more about treating the symptoms than trying to find a label. Some people like diagnoses, some see them as oppressive. Treating the symptoms is more effective if you don't like the constant search for a diagnosis.
@@noplacelikestorybrooke6968 I can not thank you enough for writing this out. Two years ago, I'd been self-harming quite seriously. My mother ended up finding out about this and dumping me at her therapist's office. The session was horrible. I was basically told that if anyone were to find out about this, I would be taken from my parents, become a ward of the state, definitely be admitted to a psych ward and given medication that I had no say in taking, and if whoever was in charge of me deemed it necessary, be given electroconvulsive therapy. I was told that I would never ever be emancipated. That would be my life. It was horrifying. My other option was to keep it quiet and work with the therapist. The entire time I was looking back and forth between my mother and the doctor thinking, "You're my mother. How are you okay with this." and "You're a mental health professional. How could you think this is okay?" During that session, I was told that based on the images of my self-inflicted injuries that were taken without my consent, this Doctor and two other psychiatrists across the country, had decided that I had borderline personality disorder. I sat in silence as this doctor explained that borderline personality disorder was the border at the edge of insanity (at least this is as far as I can recall. I was pretty spaced out. This may not be the exact explanation she gave me). The difference was my awareness of the issue. Once asked, I said that I saw that I had a problem, but when I tried to say I really didn't think it was as serious as all that, the therapist would raise her voice and warn me that I was crossing the threshold. I got the sense that the doctor just wanted me to be silent and agree, so that's what I did until I convinced her I was well. On looking up the symptoms of BPD, some of them strongly resonated with me, others only somewhat, but I dismissed the diagnosis and woman who dished it out on the grounds that I had never in my life acted out. My behaviours have always been deliberate. I don't remember feeling like I'd ever filled my skin. All the madness was internal and it felt unreal. It was the reason I harmed myself; strangely to confirm that I was really feeling the turmoil I was feeling, and for a very short amount of time, that physical evidence did the trick. I'm not self-diagnosing here, but quiet BPD fits so much more. Still not perfect, but it's the closest I've ever come to understanding why I am the way I am. On the one hand, I feel almost happy that I am not an enigma, that there is a path paved out for people like me who have faced obstacles like me that leads to mental health. On the other hand, I feel almost cheated? Like this doctor had used to the wrong formula but still somehow got the right answer? I'm sorry for rambling here. I just want you to know that for a stranger on the internet that you will likely never meet, the words you shared were incredibly significant to their journey and your compassion was very much needed and appreciated
@@jumanahidris7432 Hey! I'm so sorry for your experience, it sounds absolutely attrocious - what country are you in from curiosity? Unfortunately BPD has a horrible stigma that carries on even in the "professionals" of mental health which can make it very hard to find a good therapist! I can relate to the things you're saying and how you describe your feelings. For me, it's become more about treating symptoms than trying to find a specific diagnosis as I've found so much crossover with the diagnoses - even the professionals can't agree. But I also understand feeling like an enigma or a puzzle that can't be solved and that is a frustrating feeling! I encourage you to find a therapist who treats you with respect and helps you in a way that is on YOUR terms. Many people self harm and not all need to be "locked up" and treated like animals. All the best in your journey.
@@jones2277 Hi, so in my understanding, quiet BPD is a lot more internalised than BPD. In typical BPD a lot of the symptoms can be very outward such as having verbal/agressive outbursts, acting erratically, visible anger, sexual promiscuity, etc. whereas Quiet BPD can have similar symptoms but all that anger and aggression is turned towards oneself and isn't visible. I believe this is harder to detect as it's very internal and others can't witness the behaviours associated with typical BPD. Sometimes when I say I have this people are like "i never would have guessed!" because for me, I keep it very much inside and when I get those overwhelming anger, for example, I don't have outbursts - I do the opposite, I go quiet and I just let it feel my body and my mind but I don't express it. Both are unhealthy expressions of anger and can have negative repercussions but in different ways. I'm not a professional though so if you want to learn more, I suggest doing your own research as this is just my understanding of one of the diagnoses I've been given over the years.
"I'm an expert in destroying relationships, so let me tell you..." IF THAT ISN'T A WHOLE MOOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. Edit: First of all - thanks for the likes. It's a subtle reminder i'm not the only one who feels this way. Secondly, for those who may be confused, i'm not glorifying the concept of destroying relationships, nor am i implying i (or anyone else) does it on purpose. To be called a 'demon' is a seemingly-now-deleted comment is a bit much. This is the stigmatizing that i was hoping videos like this with Anthony's non-judgmental approach would help alleviate.
Officially I'm diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, however when I look at the symptoms and listen to other people with Bipolar Disorder, I don't relate at all. When it comes to BPD though a lot of it really resonates with me, the unregulated emotional states, abandonment issues, all of your emotions hitting you like a truck for good or bad, the splitting. I also have had what is described as an FP (favorite person) in BPD circles multiple times throughout my life which is both euphoric but also hell bc that person is your everything but you are also so dependent on their mood and if they act different than usual or don't respond to messages for a while it sends you into a breakdown. I've literally sobbed over someone not answering my texts fast enough before. Additionally, CBT was never really helpful to me. I got a DBT workbook one day though and I found it incredibly helpful, a lot of the things in there were things that I had been implementing into my life to help me manage myself and my emotions better. Because of factors like this, I feel like I might be BPD instead of Bipolar.
My first therapist yelled at me and was mad because we were making art and I didn't want to finish the drawing I started. That was when I was 16 and didn't go back to therapy till I was 28. Really didn't want to trust another one.
I’m getting my PLPC hours right now and have a borderline client. I want everyone to know that you are not the problem. Society has failed everyone in some way. People with mental disorders just have a different way of seeing the world. That’s it.
I had to do therapy bc of how I was left after some relationships with people with BPD. Completely fucked me up to the point where I couldn't trust people and completely cut someone from my life at the slightest behavior of BPD. It is extremely important to have therapists who know how to deal with people with BPD and people with traumatic experiences with people with BPD. Unfortunately both sides are victims in this situations like the girlfriend that the guy threatened to kill himself if she broke up, she was the victim of a toxic abusive relationship and he was the bastard. However he was a bastard bc he has BPD. So in a way both of them are victims
it's so cool seeing anthony do this now and how well he treats the people he interviews. I love him in Smosh and i'm so happy to see him doing this now!
I dated a girl with BPD, and she was the most lovely person i have ever met, but eventually she pushed me away and switched to another person. She has been through a lot and I really wish i could be there for her still to help her Edit: Thank you all for the likes and kind words, I have met my soul mate since posting this comment almost two years ago now, and she is finally the one. Have a good day everyone!
As i exprience this myself i can say yes we act as normal person most of the time its just like things like stress and emotional outburst triggers it and we go berserk with full of rage and i guess she use to push you away becuase she didn't wanted to harm or hurt you , she really cared about you i guess and thats sweet
My boyfriend has a hard time with me too from time to time, but the thing that helps the most for us is open communication. I have years of therapy on my hand, and i'll always stay close to what i am feeling and experiencing. He'll rty to understand and explain the facts of the issue may be. We've been together for 4,5 years now and still goin strong!
I’ve been diagnosed for over 5 years now and I just have to say.. thank you. Thank you for how you covered this and for bringing light to it Love your videos and how you speak on some of the hardest topics with the most compassion and understanding
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omg wow
thatscool
Wow
Can you do one with epilepsy please! It would mean the world to me!! I have daily seizures and I want to see more epileptic representation! 💚
Ooo I'm excited!
Your last video was made on my birthday.
The most tragic thing about people BPD is their disorder usually pushes people around them to want to leave which is their biggest fear.
....Yeah, that's sad.
I feel this😢
I had a friend that I wouldn't ever want to lose, which I actively drove down the friendship to ruins just so I could "get it over with" quicker to process the pain faster of losing someone than try to mend it because I feared it, and felt like it's something that would happen anyway
💯
That’s what happens to everyone I love and anything I touch..
I would love to see “I spent a day with people having Schizophrenia”
He’s working on it right now!
oh geez, my grandmother is schizophrenic and it can be very not easy
Tae's Place i can only imagine... best of wishes to her
i second this
@@juels508 I understand, my mom suffers from this too
My wife has bpd. I think it's actually one of the reasons we work. I tend to have muted emotions, but her more intense emotions tend to help me and my less intense emotions seems to let her temper her emotions off of me. I think we balance each other. I love my wife and I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing in our relationship. It just is.
Same, glad to see that it works for you. I usually can help keep her balanced, and she's able to help me actually feel something. We're just on opposite ends of the spectrum.
@@libragirl8078 Bruh??
That comment literally made my day. Gut my diagnosis yesterday and there's so much awful comments about bpd and especially relationships with people with bpd
I wish I had a wife with bpd
Hm, never thought ab it this way. No wonder I’ve always had a sense of attraction towards females with that kind of tendency. I guess opposites attract and them having extreme emotions is great complement to something I lacked
bpd is more than big feelings. it’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt times 100. it’s so painful and it causes people not to like us due to how emotional we are. it’s so excruciating. i don’t think i’ll ever be normal or have good relationships
yup.
the highs are high, and the lows are very very very very very very very very low
Couldn’t have said it better myself
Man I felt this to the core. :(
I feel you ❤
The psychologist that diagnosed me with mild BPD told me "Good luck finding a therapist to talk to, nobody wants to work with BPD people because you all are manipulative".
Thanks dude lmao
11/5 update: I just spoke with a counselor who is referring me to an intensive outpatient DBT program. I’m super excited ❤️
literally my first doctor (the one who diagnosed me when I was hospitalized) wouldn't put bpd in my file as a diagnosis b/c she said I wouldn't be able to find a doctor willing to work with me. she sat there and looked me in the face and said "i'm putting suspected personality disorder" (or something like that) "in your file but your diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. I just want you to be able to find a doctor and not scare everyone off."
@@fancydeer I’m so sorry you experienced that. We are not scary! The stigma needs to disappear.
Shawna Keating Yep. Mine refused to even test me when I brought up the fact that I was having a worrying amount of symptoms (I still am). She said I couldn’t have it because I’m not horrible. 🙄
I’m so so sorry❤️
You're not alone! 💕
“your emotions are like a dance dance revolution game”
As someone with BPD, this analogy is actually very accurate. 🤣✌
Its like being dealt the wrong cards as a child
that’s honestly one of the best descriptions i’ve seen
I suck at DDR _and_ my BPD, so yeah!
hahaha, i play DDR competitively and struggle with my BPD, it all makes sense now :'))
When Stacy said it’s shame, constant, constant shame. That shook me to my core because I’ve never heard a more perfect way of describing my bpd shortly.
Exactly, shame and guilt
@@idklogan3074 it makes you feel like you're the worst person on earth
it’s soo embarrassing. when i look back on what i did during my split im just so embarrassed and ashamed. the guilt is the worst part truly.
Fr
Dead ass can someone kindly explain… shame and guilt from what?
“I had a desire to manipulate someone to be with me “ is such an amazing self realization to have. It’s very hard to admit and even see yourself. @6:06
A doc tried to diagnose me with this, and I'm completely opposite. I mostly don't want the other humanoid apes anywhere near me. If they are near me, they must understand my need for space, AND watch Space Jam with me.
@@N0p3er5”humanoid apes” isn’t that what you are too? 💀
@@Nova777XP yes, and your point? At least I can think for my apey self (:
@@Nova777XP notice my language if you can read... "the other humanoid apes" .
@@N0p3er5you might want to consider looking into an autism diagnosis. It’s often misdiagnosed as BPD as it has some of the same features.
“When you don’t think you’re worth anything you tend to gravitate towards people who will treat you badly.” I felt that ...
And towards people who are "broken"
ohhh.. 100%
Oh my life makes sense now lol
This makes sense. They also ruin relationships with good ppl as a self fulfilling prophecy
Me too
The fact that he admitted he did something wrong, was willing to manipulate someone... just wow... hes so strong and brave
Absolutely. And the thing about BPD is that you feel immense shame and guilt over your behaviour, so admitting it to yourself is bad enough, let alone to everyone around you. But when I was coming to terms with my manipulative behaviour in past relationships, my therapist pointed out that the word "manipulate" has heavily negative associations and usually implies malicious intent, whereas people with BPD are usually driven by an overwhelming load of emotions and the mind is desperate to grab onto anything that can alleviate it. It's still damaging to the people around you and definitely not okay, but at least that helped me to deal with the guilt when coming to terms with it.
not brave to manipulate people lol abusers arent victims, and theyre not strong
@@sicksadworld1376 I fee like you may have missed the point of the comment. Of course it's not brave to manipulate, they were referring to the fact that he admitted doing wrong despite the stigma and shame. No one's trying to mitigate the experience of the victims here.
@@Sekovatkain didn't say that op was mitigating victims, i implied that it's wrong to call abusers and manipulators "strong" and "brave", no matter the context. also, as a victim of abuse from a borderline, i feel pretty mitigated.
@@sicksadworld1376 Ah, I see. I'm sorry you had to go through that. In that case you probably have no reason to empathise with people who have BPD, and I understand that. I know being the victim of abuse (emotional or otherwise) is traumatizing, I've had my share as well.
All I can say is that recognizing your toxic behaviour is the first step for changing it, even if you can't take back the damage you've already done. And that can be hard too. Still, I'd rather we encouraged the will to change than stigmatized people forever.
As someone who has BPD, I’ve had a healthcare professional tell me that I might be faking my depression (I suggested it while in a paranoid breakdown). When I suggested I might need to be hospitalised, she said that I should slit my wrists and go to the emergency room and then they’ll take me seriously. She was someone I considered a friend because I’d been seeing her for 2 years. It still hurts.
i hope she rolls off
the Grand Canyon 😁
damn that hurts, sorry to hear that. I have BPD as well
I swear some therapists are so messed up, like I’m sorry but isn’t their job to *help* you and not make you feel *worse* about yourself?
Sorry you've met such a therapist. Hope you find a good enough one :D
I hope you reported her
I have BPD. Im constantly empty and I cannot accept love from others because in my mind, they have ulterior motives. I grew up with a narcissistic mother, who to this day, will not change. She triggers my BPD every day, and its always all about her. Thank goodness I have two wonderful therapists and a good, solid group of friends at my new recovery home. Plus, my cat doesnt think im so bad, either ❤️
I honestly believe being raised by a narcissist is how BPD is born. They literally get you to go through ALL of the emotions with their evil tactics.
pets are so great they accept all your eccentricities in stride😭😭💓
It would help so much to see a “I spent a day with ADHD people.” ADHD is so misunderstood to the point where people think only kids and males can have it. I could have got diagnosed so much earlier if there wasn’t such a stigma surrounding it! (edit: ALSO IT’S ADHD MONTH :))
My teacher from last year has ADHD and some of my classmates took advantage of that she really struggles trying not to be distracted by the kids talking over her but knows how to manage her time
no need to apologize for venting here, and your son couldn’t wish for a better parent, as long as you stick together, you got a family.
a good one.
Wht is adhd? Please tell me..
It’s also so different for everyone so each person would have a different answer for each question.
emma rosalie so is autism, and he already made an episode with that.
i think the dynamics can add more information, and even though there are very different symptoms, the core ones are mainly the same (inattention, executive function disorder, hyperactivity, and others [judging he would call combined patients, who have both inatention and hyperactivity])
"When you don't think you're worth anything, you tend to gravitate toward people who will treat you badly." Never have I heard a truer statement.
"We accept the love we think we deserve"
yeah..
As a teen with BPD I grew up thinking something was wrong with me. I never had anyone around me feel the way I did. I would just feel this overwhelming amount of emotions from something so small. It’s hard for me to understand many things others can just overlook. It felt like I was just going in circles. I was in 5 hospitals before finding out what was really happening. I hope to learn how to control or try to control my actions from my emotions.
i relate to this so much. ive had undiagnosed bpd my whole teenage life and only recently got diagnosed with it at 21 so I'm just about learning to cope and heal and I'm really hoping you're doing well on your journey as well 💖
I’m going on my 8th hospital in less than a year, im hoping I get the right diagnosis. Thankyou❤
@@olivia2012tru wait why do you need to go to hospital?
@@SpartanKyro I’ve been having a long year being up and down. The diagnoses is just “ptsd” but at this point i’m assuming it’s more.
Im sick and tired of these internet “profesional psychologists” telling everyone how much they support people with mental illnesess them tell everyone that “anyone who is showing sadness or is difficult should be marked as toxic and left alone until they magically heal.” This stuff is so common on instagram and makes me so mad. Thanks for the video.
I met a girl with BPD during my stay at a psychiatric hospital and she was so so sweet and still my friend today
I hope you’re doing well after your stay :) I’ve been to a couple hospitals and I know they don’t always help the most so I really hope you’re doing well
Thank you for the positivity 🥰
hope you’re doing well! haven’t had the best experiences with hospitals in the past, but i’ve met my bestfriend during a 4 weeks stay. couldn’t be happier that i finally found someone i could relate with.
I hope you're doing alright after your stay I have been to a few myself and and glad you are friends with her still I'm sure she really needed it :)
Glad to know other people with BPD can have steady relationships! I can't manage it because my paranoia and anger takes over
Anthony is the only interviewer I will ever trust.
Trueeee
@@thaliakalli4207 who? Trisha?
I'd trust Eric andre too tbh
And Sean evans lol
what about nardwaur
Both I and my girlfriend have BPD and what helps us a lot is noticing and supporting each other when we are falling into a hole or feeling overwhelmed, sad, abandoned or angry. We talk it out and reaffirm to each other that we love each other and that we are not broken or unfixable. We need to support each others emotions more than a "regular" couple but we both agree that we have never been in a more stable and healthy relationship. I plan on proposing during our trip to Japan next summer. I know she'll say yes.
Omg that's like my fuckin dream my guy, good luck! I wish you both the best!
How did it go?!!🎉
we need an update!!!
Update? :)
How did it go???
I have BPD and while I'm in a stable relationship it is VERY hard on not just myself but my wife.... I can literally go from fine or happy to crying or screaming in anger.... I also have autism and ADHD while with autism meltdowns it can make my BPD look SO MUCH WORK
I understand your pain so much. I always am regretful of letting my emotions get so intense. But I’ve never been diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure I have multiple issues as well.
I'm autistic too. I'll keep that part lol. BPD SUCKS!!!
Can we please talk about how people with BPD are often the ones being abused in a relationship instead of the other way around because it's so easy for toxic people to take advantage of? They're not always the villains.
It’s really sad about how many people only associate bpd with manipulative and toxic behaviors. Bpd roots from childhood trauma whether emotional or physical and I think that people try to ignore that with a really narcissistic attitude.
@PAESH the amount of serotonin I got from this compliment and you calling me milady was very enjoyable
Except it's usually the other way around. And because of unique issues with BPD often people with BPD will walk away feeling like they were the ones who were abused when in reality it was the other way around. Because of black and white thinking and issues with shame and guilt, many with BPD will block put their own behaviors. Misremember them or not remember them at all. They will also wrongfully see other peoples normal behaviors as being abusive or controlling when in reality it was the exact other way around. They will literally create false memories to justify their own behaviors. It's a terrible disorder and I'm not saying people with BPD aren't ever abused but abuse and manipulation from people with BPD is almost inevitable.
My ex wBPD once told me that her kid was pitching a fit and that she thought she might hurt her and wouldn't care at all. She told me that she spent thousands of dollars on her exes credit card and that he deserved it because he was mean to her. This was after admitting to me all the terrible things she had said to him that caused him to be mean to her.
It's a terrible disorder and I do empathize with anyone who has to live with it. But I more so empathize with the people who have been victims of someone with BPD.
@@mariannev9869 nobody is trying to ignore that BPD is caused by trauma. The problem is that doesn't excuse terrible and abusive behavior that comes from people with BPD.
@@nameunknown7 but when you are out through such trauma at such a young age (when your brain is developing), you are out into a position where you think that this is how people behave and how love works from family which can cause you to treat others like that without even thinking about. Keep in mind, this is literally a mental disorder. It can excuse multiple behaviors because extreme anger is one of the main symptoms of bpd. People with bpd have extremely strong emotion and take everything 100x stronger than most people. The point is how so many people only label people with bpd as abusive which ruins the entire understanding of it. Once again, because of the intense emotion, when a pwBPD hears that this is what people think about them, it makes everything worse. It makes THEM feel like the problem that should be gotten rid of rather than their behavior. Because of the brain development that occurs during the physical/emotional trauma, that is how our minds are developed. It can put beliefs in a distorted view (more symptoms like unstable self-image, black and white thinking). People with BPD can’t just control and calm down the behaviors they have and in most cases don’t realize it until a lot later on.
“Emotion Regulation Disorder” - dude, that’s a MUCH more accurate name!! I’ve been taught that BPD is on the same wavelength as sociopathy/psychopathy. This video is really eye opening.
It was originally seen as a border between neurotic/psychotic which has since been mostly ruled out
This is much more accurate. I have BPD and am in college for Psychology research. When the topic of BPD came up, most students thought it was Sociopathy/Antisocial Personality. I heard a lot of negative comments about manipulation and craziness. It made me very uncomfortable
@@kolsoymoroboto I am currently taking Psychology and the way a teacher spoke about people with BPD... warning students that we should decide if we can handle the "extreme" disorders before we ever end up in the field "for our own safety". Logging out of the lecture didn't quite have the same power of standing up and walking out though
Not at all. As someone with borderline I would take it to my grave that we are the furthest thing from a socio or psycho path. A sociopath only does their actions of violence or anything immoral in secret so no ones eyes can see and they can still be viewed well, a psychopath would still try to lean towards the ladder, since they have the ability to channel their anger(?) and plan, calculate, and move forward on it. We react impulsively, immediately, we don’t have the time to hide it and it’s not like we are evil, it’s just straight up anger. And anger, by the way, always stems from another emotion. Look up “Anger Iceberg”. The best way to describe it is that it’s just more amplified for us because the emotions inside us are usually similar ones, that also happen to be so intense, much more frequent, and so we are prone to it. Not even on the same level as those terms. If all the mental illnesses I’m the world we’re put on a spectrum Socio and psychopaths would be put on one end and all the furthest away from it would be borderline on the other side.
Nice bangs
I watched this when it came out and thought I was very similar, but didn’t question it. Now two years later and I was diagnosed with bpd. Rewatching this really helped me come to terms and made me feel less alone. I’m so thankful Anthony does these videos
In a similar boat, but I can’t get diagnosed because I’m 16! But apparently this is my third therapist to think this though
Exactly the same here...
A big danger with BPD as well is staying in toxic and/or narcissistic situation/relationships...knowing that toxicity will stay to repeatedly refuel itself having a willing host (being the person with BPD). Most toxic ppl fear abandonment just as much as those with BPD, so its rare to see either person leave the relationship to become healthier.
I'm having flashbacks to the guy who asked,
after someone said "BPD"
"what police department is that"
Followed by
"I just googled it and I'm so sorry"
BAUAHA OOOPS
Yes
Omg I remember that 😂 😂
Where can I find that? Lol
I’m surprised none of them talked about feeling empty, depersonalization, derealization, dissociating. I deal with those symptoms the most and it would’ve been nice to hear their experiences.
Because every borderliner is different and maybe they dont deal with this.
I feel all of this stuff too! Everyone's experience is difference, but its nice to hear that at least someone else feels these things too
Dude so bad I dissociate several
Times a day for long period of times
Came here to make the same comment. The feeling of emptiness is chronic and I feel it now more than other symptoms. Maybe because I learnt positive coping mechanism but again I guess every experience is different.
I have BPD and I usually don’t discuss these symptoms because I feel ashamed about them. So I can understand why they may have decided not to share about this part.
Having been treated for BPD for a couple years now, I can say that even after recovering a little bit and learning to manage symptoms and irrational thoughts, the *worst* part of BPD is the stigma behind it. The moment people learn you have it, they seem to confuse you to be a narcissist or psychopath... it's really upsetting.
Other than that, it's always been the overwhelming fear that you'll never get any better and that everyone will leave you.
Or they assume that BPD is DID.
Many psychologists don't agree with calling it BPD because it's a really poor representation. Emotional regulation disorder doesn't exactly sound great either but it's more fitting than "personality disorder" and "borderline" makes it sound as if we're always teetering on the border of crazy town and that everyone around us needs to sleep with one eye open.
BPD is the new "hysteria". It is not real.
@@N0p3er5 What do you mean?
@@self-care_warrior look up "female hysteria" , this wasn't that long ago in history. Now look at BPD and the drugs and blame for your own trauma. Same shit.
What can also be mentioned about the gender gap are people being misdiagnosed. It is fairly common that women with ADHD are first misdiagnosed with BPD since there are quite many symptoms that overlap (impulsive behavior that can be risky or self destructive, emotional dysregulation, higher chance of substance abuse, rejection sensitivity, to name a few) . When I was diagnosed with BPD, the criteria almost felt like it was made for me, but as I got older and changed environments, I no longer fit the criteria. 6 years after my BPD diagnosis, I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (ADD). If I remember right, I also read that men are commonly misdiagnosed with ASPD or NPD before getting their BPD diagnosis. I would love more studies on this because I think it could change a lot in the medical world and how they look at mental health.
Funny enough it was the opposite for me I spent years thinking I had ADHD and after going through thorough evaluation they think it was really BPD the whole time
I would love to see you do a “I Spent a Day with Formerly Homeless People”. My boyfriend recently transitioned out of homelessness and I think a video with more people like him would inspire and make him feel less alone.
I would love this!
I would love this too! I'm a recovering heroin addict and was homeless for 3 years in a tent under the freeway begging for money w a cardboard sign. Being homeless is a traumatic experience and it stays with you. It's really hard to get out of it .
@@L._._ aye big congrats on beating your addiction!! From one fellow addict to another thats great.
@@L._._ well done from fighting it and coming out on top but I'm so sorry that you went through that, it must of felt like it would never end and that every moment felt like an eternity I'm so glad you're out of that
YES! I've never seen this been done before!
Anthony should do "I spent a day with suicide prevention hotline dispatchers"
Y E S
I know he already did a 911 dispatcher one. Which I know isn't 100% the same thing, but in a similar ballpark.
@@ves5657 yea I watched it but I think they would have completely different stories
well they all kind of suck so.......
honestly they do not help.
I’ve never had a “Stable” relationship in my life. My father was/is a Narcissist and Sociopath caused by child abuse and my mother is the same diagnosis. I was an only child born into a cult marriage. I’m all kinds of messed up. I’ve had just about every diagnosis in the DSM batted at me over time since my first hospitalization at 10. I’m 32 and currently standing with 28 Hospitalization and on 16 pills a day (Most are multiple pills of one drug given throughout the day I don’t take them all at once) But it’s my BPD that causes me the most trouble. I have no one. Except my abuse ex I cling to because he’s all I have left other than my Cats. I’ve lost the will to live at this point. Not to survive. I don’t WANT to DIE I just have no motivation to go find a good life for myself. I’ve now been bed bound for 4 years and am desperately trying to claw my way out of this hole anyway I can. But when you’re being put down and screamed at all day it makes things worse. The worst thing is I know my ex could survive without me but I can’t without him so I have to humiliate myself by giving him money to help me because I have no one else who gives even cares. We had two kids together, my only two good decisions I’ve ever made was to give them up for adoption as babies to the same family so that they could at least have each other if I couldn’t be there and be well enough to care for them. BPD is a rollercoaster from hell with no seatbelt, you’re lucky if you survive at all and you’ll definitely be permanently injured by it at some part on the track of the roller coaster. Stay strong everyone. Don’t give up hope. Keep trying. I hope all sufferers don’t have to go thru what I do. Love and Light to All❤
i hope things are better now for you . giving you a big virtual hug, you deserve so much better, you are strong, you're worth more than what you think. i think explaining your disorder to ppl around you may help them understand you better.
I used to have BPD. I’ve heard BPD used as an armchair diagnosis and insult, by the people around me, not knowing that I had BPD. I have tried my best to suppress this part of myself, because I knew that if I showed the people around me this “dark side”, they would all run away. The people that I have shown this side all have.
It takes so much effort to just stay alive, to suppress these mental illnesses for the comfort of others. I used to think I would rather just die, existing in this pain was just too much.
But with a lot of self awareness, reading a lot of self help books, visiting a psych, going for therapy, taking my meds every day, I have improved so much. I am no longer diagnosed with BPD. It’s not easy, it took me years. But I just want to let all the people who have suffered this same illness know that, there is hope. It is possible to come to appreciate this life and all the things in it, in spite of your illness.
Sending love to all the people suffering out there, you can do it. I see your efforts, trying to stay alive. And I am proud of all of you. Keep on the good fight, and never doubt that you deserve as much love as any human on this planet, in spite of your illness.
❤
Congratulations! Can I ask if now that you’re not diagnosed with it still take meds?
You CAN'T cure BPD, you still have it or you never had it, it's not something that goes away. You live with it forever, you just learn how to deal with it.
this means a lot :)
There’s no such thing as “used to be” you’ve seen girl, interrupted too many times
6:32
So technically he said : Trisha , don't diagnose yourself off of my videos thank you : )
I was looking for this comment lol.
That is literally the exact thing I thought.
Who's Trisha?
@@dilarabasturk9698 a KRplusr who used Anthony's video on Dissociative Identity Disorder to troll the whole community and actually triggered SO MANY people/systems with DID. Including one KRplusr in Anthony's video DissociaDID and I know that Trisha was harassing their system and invalidating them and it triggered DissociaDID to the point they had another alter come into existence from this
Lol true, however I feel like it’s very likely that she does actually have BPD
When I was in college, newly diagnosed with BPD, I was in a psych class taught by a licensed, practicing psychiatrist. When BPD came up, she went on a long tirade about how even mental hospitals shouldn't bother to try to treat these hyper-manipulative, evil, incurable women. I was lucky that incident made me angry at her instead of myself, because that could have been devastating. She was supposedly reprimanded, but as far as I know, she's still working.
Let's get her fired. Do the world some justice
That's absolutely horrible!! BPD is so misunderstood and just because they find it difficult to treat right now doesn't mean they shouldn't bother! We've gotten better at treating mental illness in the past few decades, at least if you compare it to how mentally ill people were treated just a hundred years ago, but it's still not good enough. All people deserve a chance at a good, happy life.
Big big yikes. Horrible... just yikes.
I toke a psych class in highschool when I was at the height of my BPD and I'm very glad BPD never came up because I wasn't diagnosed yet and if that teacher (one of my favorite ones) talked about BPD and then shamed people who had it I would have been ruined because as soon as I know what BPD was I knew I had it just from how people described it and their experiences with it, some people suck I'm sorry you went through that
Next episode, on things that never happend
I might be perfectly fine one moment and then my friend will say something that I perceive as even remotely negative, and I start to distance myself often without even realizing. I am constantly overanalizing facial expressions and the tone of someone's voice for traces of anything other that happiness and if my brain thinks it's found it then it's game over. It leaves me with very few friends and no one to trust, because I always assume that they're mad at me or they don't care or they don't want me.
I've destroyed every relationship I've ever had. Either because I cannot believe someone truly cares about me and I drive them away, or because they truly didn't have my better interest in mind and my disbelief led to finding out the truth. I'm going to destroy my friendships by constantly verifying their validity or I confirm that they were invalid, dishonest, and malicious.
My sister has BPD and her whole life people has just labelled her as a “brat” or “looking for attention”, which makes me so angry. People genuinely don’t understand the disorder and categorize these people as overreacting.
My sister also was recently diagnosed with bpd. It’s difficult to get out of that mindset but I’m slowly learning and trying to be more empathetic towards her
Thank you for this comment! A common theme in our lives is being invalidated this way. I'm glad your sister has you!
what if everyone that blurts out the labels also have bdp, since they couldn't control their frustration directed to your sister? or even just 1 person.
I hate it because we are seen as people who chose to just be assholes and just ugh:(
Kristen i completely understand. It’s hard, and it took me into adulthood to accept her and actually love her, as horrible as it sounds. I love her so much now and try to help her in anyway that i can.
I would love to see "I spent a day with EATING DISORDERS" or like recovered eating disorder
I love how theres no people just like "heyyyy anorexia what's poppin, binge eating hey itz been a bit. what is up my man"
@@anachronismboy I know right
....or maybe people who had it in the past ? I don't think that'd be very ... appropriate? for someone suffering from anorexia to just talk about how they didn't eat today
@@Amber-ev5ui true but similar to drug addicts, like I’m sober but I’m still an addict. someone who has recovered from anorexia, despite having recovered they still have the disease.
this would be interesting.. but eating disorders are competitive so i wonder if it’ll trigger anyone
My relationship with BPD is so complex. My mam has the disorder. I know the pain it causes her and feel so sorry for her, but I also hate how she manipulates me and has since I was a small child. She is a victim of BPD, but in a lesser way so am I. It's so complicated and hurtful, and although I love her so much I cannot speak to her about the hurt she has done to me, because I know the reaction I would get from that conversation. It's also extra complicated as she is also an alcoholic, which exacerbates the issues. But no child should be stopping their mother's suicide attempts or being told they are hated, and then within hours being love bombed and cried on about how much their parent misses them.
A horrible illness, for which the patients need much more support, but also their family.
Sometimes people might forget that just because someone doesn't mean to hurt others, the pain they inflict doesn't stop existing...
My mom has it too, I know she's a good person, I understand her motivations and the nature of her disorder, I understand she cannot control herself; but the manipulation, verbal and psychological violence is still exist towards me. So yes, we can be empathic to them, but don't ever feel guilty for not letting them hurt you, empathy doesn't mean negligence with ourselves.
it's an explanation for the behavior, but not an excuse for abusing anyone. sending you so much love.
@@danielagutierrez893 Thank you for your reply, I hope you are doing well, and know that I understand at least in some way what you are going through as well x
@@invaderbrynn thank you for your kind reply x
Sounds like my mom so much minus the alcohol abuse. Watching her try to kill herself broke me. I have this disorder, so I wanna say thanks for your testimony
I have been diagnosed with ADHD but I know a lot of people with BPD and some symptoms I really empathise with - like the ‘shame’ part that the writer woman talks about. People with ADHD also always feel shame from loss of control and not being enough etc etc.
Talking to my friends though I know the crossover isn’t that huge between BPD and ADHD, it’s such a shame that BPD has such a bad rep though, everyone I know who has it is so full of love and especially when they manage it and work on the behaviours that push people away.
The crossover can be more than you think: impulsivity, loss of interest, trouble coping etc etc
@@Bimby-b Yeah I agree, I have ADHD and not BPD but a lot of what overlaps really really stood out to me. It just makes me feel so much for people who are stigmatized by it.
I have both. So it happens
I love that Anthony is so open minded and he actually treats everyone like they are valid and I love that
Edit: sorry if my wording made it seem that I think people aren’t valid. I was more trying to make a point that Anthony is such a nice human being and also, if I made my wording unclear I just thought it was nice that he doesn’t care because he is such a nice person... sorry again
the schuyler sisters
angelicaaa elizaaa
(but yeah i agree, he really does its great to see that)
Wtf u mean? They are valid either way
Jxst Johnny yeah you’re right, but some people treat other people differently and I like that he doesn’t do that, sorry if what I said was unclear or sounded rude I did not intend it to sound that way
How everyone should
I've never clicked so fast. I have BPD and it's SO hard to find good representation of our disorder. The stigma around BPD is horrible. Most of the books you find on it are about getting away from us, how we're awful and manipulative and abusive and it's honestly so heartbreaking. I'm about to watch the video, knowing that I will find an interview that is fair and treated with kindness and understanding. Thank you for these videos.
YES
exactly, It makes me want to distance myself even more when i see what kind of representation we have. an ex friend of mine stopped being friends with me because i had bpd
YES YES YES!!!
exactly
me too, i heavily recommend watching dr fox’s videos of bpd, here on youtube, they have changed my life
My girlfriend has BPD and we’re always talking about our problems to each other. My OCD and her BPD, the things that we’re going through and how we can manage it by helping each other. I’m always helping her whenever and however I can and she loves me for that, and I love her for having the courage to tell me these things because she feels like she can’t tell anyone else.
Lol your relationshup is opposite to mine, I have the OCD and my boyfriend has BPD. Same in the aspect of supporting one another. Makes our lives easier when we don’t have to worry about our partner judging us for our differences. He doesn’t have to feel constant shame around me which helps to keep him from splitting.
So my girlfriend of 4 months just told me she has BPD. I went to reddit and have pretty much just been told "run" or "your fucked". How is your relationship going? I'm just worried by all the negative responses. It's an overwhelming amount.
I was diagnosed with bpd almost a year ago while in the hospital, I still remember how hard it hit me when I got the diagnosis. Now I’m going to therapy regularly, trying to form healthy relationships and slowly learning how to manage it. Thank you anthony for taking the time to learn and educate others on a disorder that has been demonized for far too long ❤️
Ig i already have an adhd diagnosis which hit me rly hard and then an autism diagnosis at 15 which i was alot more accepting of, and i self diagnosed so im able to give it to myself and not force it on myself, im glad i have other ones lol
As someone who has BPD, this video made me cry. It seems like no one talks about it, and it’s so misunderstood. I was diagnosed last year by my psychiatrist, and even my dad who is an ER doctor did not believe that I have it. Even some medical professionals don’t totally understand it, and it’s so hard to get better when your own parent can’t get behind it. Thank you for this video. This gave me a lot of relief, truly.
Annie Palmer Percussion i’m so so sorry. you’re valid and we love you 💖
Did your dad actually tell you he didn't believe you? Just curious because I know someone that says others don't believe her because they encouraged her to be honest with her therapist so she decided be honest with your therapist was the same thing as we don't believe you need help. I'm not assuming that's your situation just offering another side of the situation and hoping it may help someone
Tarleda Manley he actually told me he didn’t believe me
@@anniepalmerpercussion4050 Aww I'm sorry to hear that but proud of you for getting the professional help you need. Even though I don't know you I know your freaking brave 💪
May I know how to diagnose one..
If it’s possible at all, I’d like to see you do Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD.) I notice that people demonize those that have this disorder too. We’re all humans, I’d like to see somebody talk about this without passing judgment
I genuinely hope this will happen! I wrote a dm to Anthony long ago about this but as expected he didn’t respond (which is understandable with the sea of inquiries he gets tbh). Thank you so much for suggesting this!
NPD is something important to learn about, for everyone's safety especially those who suffer from dealing with it! From my understanding, it's self-hatred turned outward.
Yessss
I'd love to see an episode like this! I rarely hear anything about this disorder and would really like to learn more.
Would anyone that actually has a diagnosis of NPD actually be interviewed, or would they just sit there any say “But there’s nothing wrong with me. Everyone else is the problem!”
My mom has it, and now I understand a little more what she feels when that wave of emotions arrives
I promise you if your mother's soul can speak to your soul right now. It would be balling its eyes out on its knees at your feet. Explaining how sorry it was forever hurting you and don't ever let the ilunless be a reflection of my real love and devotion. For you my precious child
@@dawnsmith4311 we are working on our relationship, and it's amazing how therapy can really do his job, now thanks to her I Say: If My mom can, I Can!
It was nice (as someone with BPD) to see how amazing Anthony is at giving an interview that is completely removed of stigma
please do “I spent a day with severe phobia disorder” as someone who suffers from an extreme “irrational” phobia, it’s something that drastically impacts my daily life and I would love to see other people who can relate to this and bring awareness to it
Edit: thank you so much for everyone who has shared their phobias❤️ reading these comments have made me feel so much less alone in the struggles I go through everyday. Anthony PLEASE do this episode it would mean so much
Mmhmm. I have an emetophobia.
What are you afraid of?
Me with my fear of throwing up it makes me afraid to eat bc what if I get sick..
@@kayblinky I also have emetophobia, one of the worst phobia i swear
Yes, that is a good video idea. I have Extreme Claustrophobia, I remember having nightmares of being stuck in a tight cave with no space to move around. Worst moment of my life
When she said “if I had to boil it down to two main things, it’s the rage and the shame” that hit me right in the chest
i started crying lol bc i've never been able to put it into that simple of a sentence. it was just an overhwhelming "finally" feeling that dropped fucking weight first on me
So true and add embarrassment for me
Yeah, that made me upset too
I have BPD and it makes me feel bad when people around me leave. Thank you for talking to people like me about their lives. You helped me understand more about my disorder.
I know that this is an older video, but I was recently diagnosed with BPD. This helped me further understand my diagnosis. I always thought I was just really sensitive, but this is very comforting to me
i got diagnosed few days back too! came here to understand it better
@@anushadanadamani284 it's nice to know I'm not alone
Same!!
I would love to see “I spent a day with people with PTSD” it’s not always represented well
yess! and not just war veterans etc.
Maybe split it up into two different videos, one for PTSD and one for C-PTSD. (Could even do a third one specifically for war veterans that doesn't have to be about PTSD at all, I'm sure those guys have other interesting things to talk about as well.)
I sent him an email saying I was available for interview and included ptsd as an option to call on me for :)
I second this, as someone with C-PTSD I'd love to see it represented properly
After seeing these comments I didn’t even realize I had C-PTSD (never knew the term). I was wondering why the treatment I was given just wasn’t working. But for PTSD it’s usually a one-off while CPTSD is usually a reoccurring thing like kidnapping or neglect (sorry of this triggers anyone). It feels really comforting to see others who have experiences like me.
Anthony: This is a serious issue
Also Anthony: Casually crashes through the ceiling
Edit: I don't actually think he's being insensitive, but I think it's funny.
I have bpd and yeah that was hilariously like on the nose for an intro to bpd, loved it
As a person who suffers from borderline traits because of age reasons I feel like that made perfect sense
Steven Bristol that’s true humor is an amazing coping skill when used appropriately
@Steven Bristol you and your brother give me so much hope, I had a similar thing happen to me that you went through, for me its one of those things only I can joke about or else I have a panic attack, but I know other people who have gone through this kind of thing where they'll joke about their experience and they are okay with and some even enjoy when others join in with the jokes. Its so important to find healthy (for you and others around you) ways of normalizing and coping with any type of trauma so you can keep going on strong and loving and willing to share that love and strength with yourself.
So thank you so much for telling your's and your brother's stories. I hope you two are doing your best to stay healthy and safe
When this video came out it helped me get diagnosed with BPD and the years of treatment because of it has changed my life. Thank you, Anthony.
i was recently diagnosed with BPD and have felt simultaneously relieved to have an answer, and also very.. well, scared, to be judged as a person all based on it's stigma that some people carry towards it. I'm still learning the very basics about BPD, and feel really overwhelmed about all of it; so for me, this couldn't have come at a better time. I'm so happy to hear from these guests about all their individual experiences with borderline and to know that people who are watching get a chance to better understand BPD, including myself. Thank you for all the amazing awareness you bring to so many groups of people that are often misunderstood, and just the stories in general you give a platform to. I always love learning about all the different challenges the guests on your channel face, and all the unique ways they overcome them and persevere! Thank you for being such a good host and always handling every topic with kindness and respect 🤗
ily and anthony both aw i miss u on here and look forward to when you come back! but also no rush, im so glad you spent this time for yourself after everything, you needed that personal time!
anyways ily
Love you, Taylor. Hope you’re doing well.
I was just diagnosed with BPD a few weeks ago. I feel super overwhelmed as well because I'm trying to understand how to handle. And it doesn't seem like there are "triggers" so I still don't know what to do help. I go to therapy again in November. I feel so scared to how my family is going to react 😞 my husband is super supportive though. If you ever need to talk then I'm here for you. A support system is a big deal with an mental illness. ❤
Hi taylor! hope your doing good :)
I was just binging your videos when I got this notification! I hope your doing well x
*I spent a day with Anthony Padilla*
I would love to hear him out too if he's comfortable doing so💕
OMG YES
YESYESYES
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but the way that this was worded really threw me off. We don't *need* anything. Talking about your struggles, especially to such a huge audience, is hard and scary and really stressful. He will talk about his life and his struggles when and if hes ready to and nobody should tell him otherwise. Please try not to pressure him to do things like this, even tho I know you don't mean it that way.
ella ! אלה I agree. The wording is a bit assertive... Because People shouldn’t ever feel obligated to talk about their personal struggles. Anthony would do anything for his fans, I feel like the implication could put pressure on him.
We don’t ✨need✨ him or anyone else to open up about anything. Please stop looking at these people like disciples of mental health, Anthony seems like a great guy but there’s a difference between a stranger venting about their personal life for 20 minutes in front of a camera and a real psychoanalytical breakdown of someone to better educate an audience
How terrifying to have someone threaten to put you away!! Boy, do I KNOW how THAT feels!!
It's horrible to be abandoned by the person you trusted the most.
that's what people with bpd do to everybody they meet though
@@tinkletink1403 it’s kinds true but not always the case
@@youngmiami-so7tc i suppose in the case of relationships i meant to say
@@tinkletink1403not true at all I’ve never abandoned anyone I loved.
My names Christian, and I am medically diagnosed with BPD. She's right in saying mental health professionals sometimes refuse to treat us. I recently went to a mental hospital off a suicide attempt, and the doctor released me immediately as soon as I revealed that I have BPD. She said "we can't help you, you're too manipulative". She barely even talked to me for 10 minutes lol wth
Similar experience,had to go to five separate mental health professional because I kept getting dismissed and it would always be "we find that people like you don't actually want help" or straight up "BPD is hard for us to work with" bruh it's hard to live with too but ok ig. Got misdiagnosed twice too.
@@sweetlittlenothing7696 If no one is willing to be there for you, please take my advice and just go to God and his word. Jesus healed people from all sorts and can do the same for you through the Holy spirit.
I have it also and it’s honestly a superpower. We are incredibly intelligent people to the point we are over intelligent and over emotional.
@@lastdays8500 don’t bring religion into this that is just very insensitive
This is crazyyyy
“Anxiety and depression can culminate unto BPD” “you can get it as an adult”
Alright cheers boys.
Now ima panic about this
NenitaLunita my childhood anxiety and depression turned into BPD. I was diagnosed wrongly with depression (or so I thought) when I was 13. I'm 15 now and got diagnosed with anxiety, BPD and bipolar this year. I just wanted to say there's nothing to be scared of or freak out about. It's rare that it does turn into it and if it does it's a slow process. You won't wake up one day like a new person. :)
NenitaLunita that’s the anxiety way!
Benji Neo thanks. I really hope my comment didn’t come off as offensive to anyone suffering from BPD or anything else. I understand and empathize with anyone who may be sensitive to jokes like this and please know I meant no disrespect or harm.
teacupika oh no I wasn't upset or offended at all :) I just wanted to let people know that if it does happen it's not something to be afraid of
It's now BPD Awareness Month, and as someone who was diagnosed with 15, this is in incredible video. The love, the understanding, everythinh about this is wonderful.
I'm now 20, turning 21, and I am in a fairly successful relationship for almost 4 years now. The number one tip I can give you is communication is key. Find different ways to communicate if talking is hard. You got this
Thank you so much for this and keep going strong! I'm proud of you, we got this!
uh you cant be diagnosed with a personality disorder at 15 what
@@BB-bw8tk uh I'm not American, and I did get diagnosed.
@@BB-bw8tk you absolutely can. Even here in the USA. I am 26 now and was diagnosed at 15, reevaluated at 18 and again at 23. That's standard. Especially if you have a family history as a lot of these diagnosis are genetic.
I found out I had BPD through a mental hospital, not through the place I was going to therapy for years. They always dismissed my explanations and say it would be describe by it being my depression or like “processing.” It made zero sense to me so, I of course ended up in a hospital and a doctor just flat out told me after asking a few questions that I had BPD. Brand new journey really I have a whole new therapy place I go too and met my new psychiatrist. Went through an IOP program. Next Monday I get to get in with my new therapist and hopefully establish a therapist as well as going through the proper diagnosis system, because I was told I’m high in some of the test I’ve done, for both BPD and Bipolar so it’s definitely a confusing process. And frustrating because once a proper diagnosis is made I can try to help myself better than just being stuck between two disorders not really knowing wtf is wrong with me.
When Anthony talked about the self shame associated with depression, I felt validated. I often felt guilty for being depressed while living a very nice life. Like I was thinking about how people have it much worse than I do and it’s wrong for me to feel this way. Thank you, Anthony, for mentioning that.
I ended up having a huge breakdown from telling myself to suck it up because I had “no reason to be so sad”, and that my life was so “great” that I should be ashamed of being suicidal. Depression is really a monster!
I'm not diagnosed with depression but I feel that so much, the guilt is so so strong that I want to kill myself. Then I feel wrong for feeling that way because I have a good life and I take it for granted
@@d3adm3mori3s9 The best thing I learned is that you don’t need a reason to feel depressed. Sure, sometimes there can be one like if you lose a loved one that meant the world to you or something. But sometimes it’s just something else. It’s something bigger than just a reason. I can’t explain it, but sometimes you just need help. And it’s okay to get help. It’s crucial to get help!
that's how i feel :( how ironic that i keep telling people that their feelings are valid but i cant even validate my own
That's what I tell my mom. There are people being murdered right now and I'm mentally unstable for almost no reason. I get triggered so easily and for what? People are literally dying and here I am having mental breakdowns because I try to get in the shower but the waters cold? It honestly baffles me sometimes.
I've struggled with trying to explain BPD to my friends and family. After showing this to my husband he finally said "I'm so sorry that I have not been able to understand what's going on" he's always been there for me but now it is comforting that he understands just a bit more.
To anyone who needs to hear it: You are NOT your disorder it is a PART of you. You are a WONDERFUL person and deserve to be loved.
omg thank you for the little phrase, I teared up
So what are you thoughts on Cluster B?
Thank you 😢
Thank you
Awww I love that!
Always in pain is how I would describe it. Pain of shame guilt emotion emptiness. Something that hurts.
Borderline here. Still working on understanding myself more, but I just realized I have NEVER planned a leaving of a job. It has always been a super emotional and on a whim experience where I leave that VERY moment due to some sort of emotional outburst
This is the most positive comment section I’ve ever seen
The first time I came to this channel I was soo shocked,,I watched 4 videos just going through the comments,I was like WOW,,I just wish I found this channel earlier
@@violetkihara2161 honestly same
if only the world was that way
Could you do spending a day with people who have OCD? I think that would be cool and insightful!
(I fixed my typo sorry about that...)
Erin that would be interesting
Whats OCD ??
@@aslamahmed3606 Obsessive compulsive disorder
Yes yes yes!
I think he's already done that? Not too sure, I'll look it up...
I was misdiagnosed for nearly 30 years as just having depression. Finally diagnosed a year ago with attachment disorder and BPD. I still struggle with these and more, but at least I am now medication free and can practice some mindfulness. I am very aware of others emotions, but unfortunately you will no longer find many in me. I say that I feel for others when they're having hard times, but I truly don't get to the level of empathy.
Do you find it better being medication free?
@@shelbyharper1124 To be honest, I don't know how much the medications changed my brain chemistry for good and if that has a lot to do with not having a lot of real emotions anymore?...
@Shelby Harper I guess I didn't totally respond to your question last time. Overall, I do feel better not being on medications. I was in a fog for many years and it cost me my family and my career...eventually. I still struggle with a lot of the same things I struggled with while on medication, including, thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore. So, I don't think those kinds of things will ever change. I'm just trying to learn to live with them and live with the chronic depression. Trying to learn self love for the 1st time in my life. Again, overall, I think it's better for me and still working to be more self-aware of my thoughts and actions. Granted reality can be tough.
I have bpd. I have never felt so seen. Thank you Anthony. I'm crying just watching this. It's so hard to remember you aren't alone. Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me.
When I google bpd to find other people's experiences with it, I only ever find articles about how to deal with family members who have it, and how to deal with "their manipulative ways" 🙃
Because most BPD sufferers don’t want to get help and their loved ones are the ones who pay the price.
@@allienixon8959 Also it's very hard to find the right treatment for. If you can get treatment many times it's not from someone who actually has the knowledge to treat it. I remember it took nearly 10 years for me to find DBT and by that point I almost didn't do it because every psychiatrist and therapist I went to wasn't capable of making any sort of progress with me no matter how hard they tried. It takes someone with a very particular set of skills and knowledge to help with it. Also, for so long it was very hard to study scientifically because it was almost always misdiagnosed and nobody knew how to treat it when it was diagnosed. A major catalyst in treatments and understanding now actually came from someone who had it, logged everything down, and figured out the inner workings and treatment of it through their own trial and effort which is pretty incredible to me.
@@allienixon8959 bullshit. most people with BPD desperately want help but professionals won’t help them because of the stigma.
@@sourgreendolly7685 This is true, but it doesn't make the impact some people with BPD have any less devastating... I just hope more research can be done to really help people with BPD, in turn, helping those around them.
YEP same with the other cluster b disorders like npd, aspd, and hpd
What about an episode with
“ people with OCD”
“Extreme hoarders “
“Scouts”
“Paralympic athletes “
“Legally blind people”
What's scouts?
He’s done ocd before
just to clarify extreme hoarding is in the OCD spectrum of problems you might have.
I also want to know what scouts are
And depersonalization/derealization
Love that Stacy mentioned the positives of feeling intensely.
The fact that these people can open up about the things they've done because of this disorder shows an enormous amount of self compassion. That's amazing.
Something that didn't come up during this interview that is important to know is that not all people with BPD are acting out in a way that can be easily seen! There are also people with BPD where the pain and emotional turmoil is first and foremost directed inwards, and there are not as many emotional outbursts. That can make it even harder to get the correct diagnosis, because by many people (including psychiatrists) BPD is always seen as something that is centered around acting out a lot and something that can easily be seen. I've been told by a psychiatrist who met me for the first time that "she didn't think I had BPD" after only talking for a short while, which is a mind boggling thing to me.
Quiet Borderline isnt in the DSM itself but it's real af!
Same!
this describes me perfectly and i haven't been able to get a diagnosis yet because the symptoms i do have aren't too outwardly projected so a lot of people don't think i could have it but i always have all of these feelings that they described trapped inside my head because things like my adhd make me mask most of my emotions for other people due to fear of rejection and abandonment. that's what is so difficult about these things, because i know what's going on in my head but other people dismiss it because i direct everything inwards which can even make things worse sometimes not to be able to let things out.
@@victoriam2614 agree!
a lot of times i'd get written off as "sensitive" when certain things happened that made my emotions be expressed in a more extreme way than others, which also contributed to me hiding a lot of my emotions and watering down everything i feel. i also had an experience where i told my therapist recently after not seeing her for a while that i had related to all of the symptoms for bpd and wanted to look further into it even if it could end up being something else, and she immediately told me "there's nothing else besides the adhd you're already diagnosed with that i could see you getting a diagnosis for." which then made me feel more invalidated because i know something else is going on, whatever it is, and just because a lot of my emotions get filtered for others and they don't see it right away, they won't even consider it.
This made me want to cry. This is something I've struggled with for so long, so hearing others share their experiences too feels both painful but relieving at the same time. Thank you for spreading awareness on this debilitating disorder.
I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, depression and anxiety in 2014 when I was 14. I never had anyone in my life who actively understood me or even wanted to empathize and genuinely help me, so seeing other people who struggle the same as me is so relieving. It really helps me feel less shame, and less alone! Blessings to you and your recovery! I currently have a boyfriend of nearly 2 yrs who has seen me in all my glory and never abandoned me, so it does get better, and there ARE people out there who love us back ♡
@BPD World thank you, theres always a voice that tries to convince me hes faking it or hes going to leave me but he FIRMLY stops that voice every time when he tells me hes here because he loves me and never wants to leave. I've been told that before but with him I know it's TRUE ♡
》LorenaaaHTX 《 I have the exact same list of diagnosis’s as you so I understand and empathize with u so much
@@Bbbarbie ❤🥺
Facts im so happy he did this
As someone with bpd I feel so validated and finally humanized, the way Anthony talks about us is sympathetic and it feels so nice to have someone not only listen to people and learn from people with bpd but have a completely open mind about it and not completely assume we are monsters.
I watched this before diagnosis, thinking I just had anxiety and depression, and after, and I’m just so shocked that I didn’t see it sooner. All of this makes sense. I love the way he handled this topic because I don’t feel bad talking about. I just feel like “wow this is relatable”, but it feels safe. So thank you again for this video. 💜
As someone with BPD, I am ALWAYS a little hesitant when I see media discussing us, since we're so often demonized and misunderstood, but let me tell you, my little overly emotional heart is filled with joy right now! Thank you for giving us a voice and taking the time to listen, it literally means the world!
I honestly heard of BPD, but never actually knew what it was. Im so glad I was able to learn about it! I’m sad it is so demonized, it is not that hard to understand.
💚💚💚
@@Urrur Oh you know I ugly cried and laughed a lot, because well, BPD :P
I would love to see a "i spent a day with a person with narcolepsy" its so underrepresented, misunderstood and even ignored in the medical community! It would mean so much to see some representation, accurate vs the Hollywood version, as a person with narcolepsy!
Do you know Jinkx Monsoon? The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race with nacrolepsy....
AS SOMEONE WITH NARCOLEPSY YES YES YES YES YES
Also other similar sleep disorders like KLS, idiopathic hypersomnia, ect
Omg yes
my sister suffers with this as well as an meth addiction to stay awake... its so hard.. hey
I wish we could have a 2nd part to this video because there is so much more I could cover and explain to people as a person with BPD.
The worst part about bpd is having such an intense fear of abandonment yet you push everyone who's ever loved you away until they inevitably leave you.
YAY IT’S HERE 💖 Not surprised you handled this with such grace and respect, thank you for this huge chunk of positive representation for our heavily stigmatized group! 🌈🌼🍀 Especially in recommending people do further research and not self diagnose immediately from this video- personality disorders are serious life long conditions and there are a loooot of other disorders that commonly get misdiagnosed as BPD! (ASD, C-PTSD, Bi Polar and even DID to name a few 💜) Definitely helps to get a second opinion and do some digging!! I recommend Dr. Daniel Fox on KRplus to anyone with BPD looking for some self help at home along with therapy if possible. Lovely episode Anthony 🥰
Pixie!!!!!!! I was wondering if you’d see this lmao
i clicked to see if you'd be in the video, love you
Omg hI pixielocks! I didnt know you had that :(
Thank you with the recommendation for a self help channel for us with BPD
Spend a day with autistic women!
Autism is very different in males and females, which is not a wide known fact. Women with autism are usually diagnosed very late in life (30yr+) or they may go their whole life undiagnosed (due to masking).
Yes! Please we need that interview happening!!! 💜
If I'm not wrong, he already had a vídeo with autistic people and they do touch those topics
I got diagnosed with autism when I was 16 and in my opinion it was too late... The sooner you get a diagnosis, the sooner you can get the help you need.
He does have this video. It is what introduced me to his channel. :)
To clarify, he had women and men and not just women, but I still was so happy to see the representation.
Radioinactive Scarlet _ I got diagnosed when I was 19 and it really helped me! I think it just depends on the individual. Now that I am officially diagnosed with autism I’m able to be a lot kinder and understanding towards myself instead of ruminating my odd existence over and over all day long.
i just wanted to say that this video really helped my understanding of BPD! i’ve been cut off by close friends & family members with BPD with no explanation of why. for years, the losses of those relationships plagued me. they still make my heart hurt, but hearing your guests speak about their experiences made me understand my loved ones’ behavior so much better. i think it’s super important to spread awareness and understanding of BPD, as the folks who have it are often villainized by mental health professionals. (i once asked a therapist how to cope with the extremes of loved ones’ BPD symptoms and they told me “avoid them at all costs, that person is toxic to you”. that didn’t help!!!) borderline folks, you are loved and don’t deserve any stigma!
I had a 16year long friendship with a girl with bpd. Last year I had to cut strings since she refused to get help and always tendet back to self harming behavior which really broke my heart. She also got more and more aggressive towards me so I had to leave for my own sake..
I am so happy to see people getting help and having a somewhat positive outlook on the future. Espacially the words "there is treatment, things can get better" really touched me. I hope she one day will come to that Realisation as well.
Would love to see an interview focused on quiet bpd. bpd is already so stigmatized as-is, and I feel quiet bpd has another layer of misunderstanding to it. would love for others to see that all these feelings can be directed inwards and don't always look so fiery and explosive/reactive.
I agree with this! I have been diagnosed with Quiet BPD (as well as a whole bunch of other disorders over the last 16 years) and hearing people say that BPD is "obvious" by the outbursts and reactivity is pretty invalidating. I have all those reactions and outbursts but they are directed inwards and not at other people. The other one I hear a lot is that people with BPD are sexually promiscuous but that doesn't account for the fact that BPD often stems from childhood abuse which for some can lead to this and to others (like myself) leads to completely avoiding any type of sexual experience. I find those two big are the biggest stereotypes of BPD - outbursts and sexuality and I (and others) don't even experience them!
Also the misdiagnosing that occurs is an important issue too. I've been diagnosed depression, schizoaffective, bipolar, generalised anxiety, dysthymia - wrongly medicated for 15 years with shitty side effects (gained 50kg I still haven't completely shifted) and then diagnosed BPD, major depressive disorder and now my current diagnosis is cPTSD, major depressive disorder and PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) and all my medications being changed around. The journey of diagnosing is important to talk about too especially in this culture of "i saw a few tiktok/youtube videos, read an article, I totally have *insert disorder here*". Some of these disorders co-exist so it's not always a case of finding the one diagnosis. There are also similarities between a lot of disorders - depending which psych I talk to they say I have BPD OR cPTSD. cPTSD is not in the DSM but many psych's are pushing for it to be and will still diagnose it whereas others won't diagnose anything that isn't in the DSM so fall back to BPD because of the similarities.
Point is it's such a complicated issue. Don't just get second opinions, get third opinions and don't let anyone diagnose you after talking to you for 45 minutes. That's not near enough to get a full scope of your experience. Ask about side effects of medication AND do your own research (I was 14 when medicated and didn't know to do this, wish I had). Never diagnose yourself or others from seeing videos/articles. And honestly, remember it's much more about treating the symptoms than trying to find a label. Some people like diagnoses, some see them as oppressive. Treating the symptoms is more effective if you don't like the constant search for a diagnosis.
@@noplacelikestorybrooke6968 I can not thank you enough for writing this out.
Two years ago, I'd been self-harming quite seriously. My mother ended up finding out about this and dumping me at her therapist's office. The session was horrible. I was basically told that if anyone were to find out about this, I would be taken from my parents, become a ward of the state, definitely be admitted to a psych ward and given medication that I had no say in taking, and if whoever was in charge of me deemed it necessary, be given electroconvulsive therapy. I was told that I would never ever be emancipated. That would be my life. It was horrifying. My other option was to keep it quiet and work with the therapist. The entire time I was looking back and forth between my mother and the doctor thinking, "You're my mother. How are you okay with this." and "You're a mental health professional. How could you think this is okay?" During that session, I was told that based on the images of my self-inflicted injuries that were taken without my consent, this Doctor and two other psychiatrists across the country, had decided that I had borderline personality disorder.
I sat in silence as this doctor explained that borderline personality disorder was the border at the edge of insanity (at least this is as far as I can recall. I was pretty spaced out. This may not be the exact explanation she gave me). The difference was my awareness of the issue. Once asked, I said that I saw that I had a problem, but when I tried to say I really didn't think it was as serious as all that, the therapist would raise her voice and warn me that I was crossing the threshold. I got the sense that the doctor just wanted me to be silent and agree, so that's what I did until I convinced her I was well.
On looking up the symptoms of BPD, some of them strongly resonated with me, others only somewhat, but I dismissed the diagnosis and woman who dished it out on the grounds that I had never in my life acted out. My behaviours have always been deliberate. I don't remember feeling like I'd ever filled my skin. All the madness was internal and it felt unreal. It was the reason I harmed myself; strangely to confirm that I was really feeling the turmoil I was feeling, and for a very short amount of time, that physical evidence did the trick.
I'm not self-diagnosing here, but quiet BPD fits so much more. Still not perfect, but it's the closest I've ever come to understanding why I am the way I am. On the one hand, I feel almost happy that I am not an enigma, that there is a path paved out for people like me who have faced obstacles like me that leads to mental health. On the other hand, I feel almost cheated? Like this doctor had used to the wrong formula but still somehow got the right answer?
I'm sorry for rambling here. I just want you to know that for a stranger on the internet that you will likely never meet, the words you shared were incredibly significant to their journey and your compassion was very much needed and appreciated
what is quiet bpd?
@@jumanahidris7432 Hey! I'm so sorry for your experience, it sounds absolutely attrocious - what country are you in from curiosity?
Unfortunately BPD has a horrible stigma that carries on even in the "professionals" of mental health which can make it very hard to find a good therapist! I can relate to the things you're saying and how you describe your feelings. For me, it's become more about treating symptoms than trying to find a specific diagnosis as I've found so much crossover with the diagnoses - even the professionals can't agree. But I also understand feeling like an enigma or a puzzle that can't be solved and that is a frustrating feeling!
I encourage you to find a therapist who treats you with respect and helps you in a way that is on YOUR terms. Many people self harm and not all need to be "locked up" and treated like animals. All the best in your journey.
@@jones2277 Hi, so in my understanding, quiet BPD is a lot more internalised than BPD. In typical BPD a lot of the symptoms can be very outward such as having verbal/agressive outbursts, acting erratically, visible anger, sexual promiscuity, etc. whereas Quiet BPD can have similar symptoms but all that anger and aggression is turned towards oneself and isn't visible. I believe this is harder to detect as it's very internal and others can't witness the behaviours associated with typical BPD. Sometimes when I say I have this people are like "i never would have guessed!" because for me, I keep it very much inside and when I get those overwhelming anger, for example, I don't have outbursts - I do the opposite, I go quiet and I just let it feel my body and my mind but I don't express it. Both are unhealthy expressions of anger and can have negative repercussions but in different ways.
I'm not a professional though so if you want to learn more, I suggest doing your own research as this is just my understanding of one of the diagnoses I've been given over the years.
"I'm an expert in destroying relationships, so let me tell you..."
IF THAT ISN'T A WHOLE MOOD I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
Edit: First of all - thanks for the likes. It's a subtle reminder i'm not the only one who feels this way.
Secondly, for those who may be confused, i'm not glorifying the concept of destroying relationships, nor am i implying i (or anyone else) does it on purpose. To be called a 'demon' is a seemingly-now-deleted comment is a bit much. This is the stigmatizing that i was hoping videos like this with Anthony's non-judgmental approach would help alleviate.
me 😭😭
Well one day you will have some one that actually supports you and that will be gentil, I hope only the best for you.
i cackled at that bc it for real is one of my strongest abilities
@@charlijoy1149 I am really happy for the part that you laughed.. At least a smile.
me irl
Learning the term “splitting” is very interesting to me because I’ve kind of been referring to it as flipping a switch
Officially I'm diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, however when I look at the symptoms and listen to other people with Bipolar Disorder, I don't relate at all.
When it comes to BPD though a lot of it really resonates with me, the unregulated emotional states, abandonment issues, all of your emotions hitting you like a truck for good or bad, the splitting. I also have had what is described as an FP (favorite person) in BPD circles multiple times throughout my life which is both euphoric but also hell bc that person is your everything but you are also so dependent on their mood and if they act different than usual or don't respond to messages for a while it sends you into a breakdown. I've literally sobbed over someone not answering my texts fast enough before.
Additionally, CBT was never really helpful to me. I got a DBT workbook one day though and I found it incredibly helpful, a lot of the things in there were things that I had been implementing into my life to help me manage myself and my emotions better.
Because of factors like this, I feel like I might be BPD instead of Bipolar.
I have BPD and I’ve wanted him to do this for so long and I’m literally crying
Good for you! (I know I sound sarcastic, I'm being serious)
Me too
Same!
Same💖
he 💗😂
Aspiring therapist here and I am cringing over how y’all were treated. This video is fueling the flame for me though 🥺
i need a therapist
My first therapist yelled at me and was mad because we were making art and I didn't want to finish the drawing I started. That was when I was 16 and didn't go back to therapy till I was 28. Really didn't want to trust another one.
I’m getting my PLPC hours right now and have a borderline client. I want everyone to know that you are not the problem. Society has failed everyone in some way. People with mental disorders just have a different way of seeing the world. That’s it.
Torii Gonzalez I’m so sorry that happened. Therapists should work with you, not against you. That is such a breach of trust.
I had to do therapy bc of how I was left after some relationships with people with BPD. Completely fucked me up to the point where I couldn't trust people and completely cut someone from my life at the slightest behavior of BPD. It is extremely important to have therapists who know how to deal with people with BPD and people with traumatic experiences with people with BPD. Unfortunately both sides are victims in this situations like the girlfriend that the guy threatened to kill himself if she broke up, she was the victim of a toxic abusive relationship and he was the bastard. However he was a bastard bc he has BPD. So in a way both of them are victims
it's so cool seeing anthony do this now and how well he treats the people he interviews. I love him in Smosh and i'm so happy to see him doing this now!
Thank you so much. You and everyone brave enough to come talk about it.
I dated a girl with BPD, and she was the most lovely person i have ever met, but eventually she pushed me away and switched to another person. She has been through a lot and I really wish i could be there for her still to help her
Edit: Thank you all for the likes and kind words, I have met my soul mate since posting this comment almost two years ago now, and she is finally the one. Have a good day everyone!
As i exprience this myself i can say yes we act as normal person most of the time its just like things like stress and emotional outburst triggers it and we go berserk with full of rage and i guess she use to push you away becuase she didn't wanted to harm or hurt you , she really cared about you i guess and thats sweet
Please pray for her healing and happiness, if you’re spiritually inclined 💜
@@mystix4317 I do every day, trust me
My boyfriend has a hard time with me too from time to time, but the thing that helps the most for us is open communication. I have years of therapy on my hand, and i'll always stay close to what i am feeling and experiencing. He'll rty to understand and explain the facts of the issue may be. We've been together for 4,5 years now and still goin strong!
i'm sorry that happened to you. she likely split on you, its an unfortunate situation to be in.
as someone with bpd, this makes me so unbelievably happy
me too, it’s almost never talked about
this means so much to so many people. thank you anthony
I’ve been diagnosed for over 5 years now and I just have to say.. thank you. Thank you for how you covered this and for bringing light to it
Love your videos and how you speak on some of the hardest topics with the most compassion and understanding