Don’t chase happiness. Become antifragile | Tal Ben-Shahar | Big Think

Well, if you can’t fix it… At least you can laugh at it… Wink wink… always consider the source of where your feelings are coming from… Before you talk or even think of talking… Assess yourself & then express yourself! That’s pretty good huh!

Live on a very low budget for a while

By accepting that pain is a part of life and we can't eliminate it. By learning to deal with difficult situations in the most positive way possible.

Putting a definition for happiness makes it limited.
Everytime you get happy, you compare it with your definition which makes you less happier.
Human mind is a mix of self thoughts and thoughts from other people around us
To become anything you need to change these thoughts, by:
1. Practice saying good things
2. Prove to yourself, you have good things in life
3. Lower expectations, your happiness is not what you think it is. We know the meaning of something if we know the opposite of it (Happiness vs. sadness)
4. Be Convinced that people you see on social media are not happy as you think they are.
5. Delete social media or use it properly and follow people who share knowledge not their life

Engaging this terrible video.

That quote stuck with us too!

I literally want to wake up one morning to discover my portfolio is above $60k

@@harrisvangeest5134 I will recommend you stop trading on your own if you keep losing and start trading with a professional.

The mentorship from a professional coach should definitely be the first step taken while trading.

Earning a minimum of $37,480 weekly is worth testifying .

Applies to the workplace, lol

But think before doing that if its is really useful to you

"Resign yourself to unhappiness" no

agreed. who gave you that advice? in what context?

@@themannymouse a mentor i had sought out.

its another well thought out way to say " just deal with it, because its not getting any better" which leads to toxic work cultures

Absoultely spot on.

​@@greenderpNo.
Antifragility doesn't advise people to be a doormat.
It advises to be antifragile.
Pursue betterment even in face of hardships and failures.

​@@greenderpguess that depends on how the "deal with it" part goes

never knew there's this many happiness finder

ayy another lost-in-translation reader!!

haha ikr

I’m sorry Theresa

I've seen this video in my recommended for a while now and I just decided to click it because 'why not' and I was immediately grabbed by that line

Definitely a powerful, attentive opening!

Also very much pure bullshit. Psychopaths feel plenty of painful emotions; they just don't feel any empathy for others.

Only reason I clicked on this video XD

😂🤣

Pls explain

We have to show them our impurities

@@florentin4061 le sserafim - antifragile is a song 😅

Yup! And we need to be aware of our anxieties, or suffering, and that they are emotional states that we can control rather than let control us. Here's a good explanation of it from a Buddhist monk: krplus.net/bidio/iLeNaHGhoYSYqpw

What does that even mean??

@@AO-wg9ne it basically another way of describing entropy, before entropy was understood and defined.

@@dephy2003 entropy? How?...please elaborate...

I did it for years. Then the bubble exploded and i got into full depression mode cause it felt like i discovered the world for the first time all at once

You’re not a philosopher bud

@@sfridisow185 ???

*eats another cookie*

Say this again, but in James Brolin’s voice!

@@sfridisow185 who cares

LOL ME CLICKING THINKING IT WSA ABOUT KPOP but learned so much more lol

For a second I actually thought you had indeed used two extremely archaic English words.....

Is it though? I really don't like his analogies and it makes me almost not want to trust him.
There are no similarities between the two things and the analogy doesn't actually help explain anything or provide any clarification on his Antifragility idea that I feel like I'm trying to be sold.

As did I

Curiosity makes you live longer ❤

@@miniscusapogee9129 But it kills cats

A great attitude to have! And like they say, if you can't teach something you haven't really learned it yet.

@@letsgowinnietheflu5439 They have nine lives anyway.

Underrated comment

Well the first the he said was flat out wrong, so I was relieved when he said student, then worried when he followed up with teacher.

@@PraiseTheFSMonster he's a teacher but still learns

@@thecamillarose9806 He has a lot to learn if he thinks psychopaths don't feel negative emotions. He shouldn't be allowed to teach anyone since he seems to have failed psych 101

@@PraiseTheFSMonster he said painful emotions, not negative

Oooweee. Mr. Blake was on to something

nice share ty

LMAO i was gonna comment that too

So glad there’s Kpop friends here 😂❤️

somehow i knew y'all were gonna hijack the comments section 😂

@@felmargego2534 honestly i was surprised no one did yet when I first came across this video)))

Hi Blooms!!

This! You are absolutely right, and you put that wonderfully. Sometimes reality is skewed and unfair, and not recognizing that only brings more trouble and paranoia. It takes a brave heart to see life as it is, and then to keep going without trying to sugarcoat it or find the silver line in everything. Life has its own worth regardless, and no one life is the same as another, so of course it's not helpful to compare and implement techniques or methods or schools of thought that were created by another for (and from) their own personal experience. It's good to get ideas, but ultimately to have your own unique sense of what is helping you and what isn't. And it's beautiful to find people that do, like yourself!

I have learned that positivity can itself be toxic when it comes from wanting more than what is rational, and in the end, you’re less happy when you don’t get what you invested all that energy into. ‘It can always get worse’ is not a bad mindset like people like to think. It brings you towards gratitude for what you have now and conditions you for life’s many disappointments.

I totally agree with you...i never believed in that forced positivity bull shit ...when you have terminal illness or you are physically disabled then what's the least good in that ? Your life is tragic and every being that lives dies in some regret and pain... we need to accept that this is life ...it is tragic ...it always has been

Your comment moved me to my core. You are brave and wise and self aware beyond your years. Though I don't even know you I feel such love for you, after reading your comment
I've done geriatric home health for a long time, so I know what it is to take care for people. To help them with even the most basic needs.
But that's so different really isn't it?!
You're a young person, who hasn't lived out a long life, free of normal unencumbrances.
In one fell swoop, you cut through the proverbial crap that we're fed about not thinking of ourselves as victims!!
Sometimes there isn't a bright side to look at, and as you stated, being able to stay positive all the damn time, isn't real.
Let any of us who are able-bodied try it for a while. Talk to us then and see how we feel, we'd be sniveling babies.
I want to reach right through my device and hug you tightly, and say nothing. For what could I say.
I don't have the first clue about what you go through, and you've heard all the words before.
I'm truly humbled.
Thank you!

Thanks for posting your comment. Your resilience is truly remarkable. You can look to your past and your future knowing that you've got what it takes to endure hardship and that is truly inspiring. Wishing you well.

May you tell about it more, please?

@@Aiaupiupiu
The paradoxical nature of happiness is such that it is directly related to low expectations.
I consider myself lucky because I always receive more than I expect to get.😀😁

@@kevinlimcoolYes, absolutely It’s good to know that you are the only responsible person for your own happiness

@@kevinlimcool True, if a person has too many expectations from others, they cannot be happy.

This is so true. I've been trying to really focus on lowering my standards with life, cause I guess I expect far too much. Hard, but when you can expect a turd and get a shiny turd, you'll be far more appreciative.

Kindly how did you do that... I think I'm in the same position

@@renu9541 By being let down by people and realising I only truly had myself to rely on. I'm lucky in that I have a very supportive family that I can always count on, but through a number of negative experiences I've learnt not to invest too much of myself in relationships outside of family, or at least not to put more effort into a relationship than the other person is putting in. I do not go out of my way for people anymore unless I know that I can trust them, and that they are as invested in our relationship as I am.

But how did u do that

Please tell

Not the original commenter but something that helped me with self confidence was -
1. Stop caring about what people think about you.
Think about it, how much time do YOU spend thinking about other people, not much I believe, but you are thinking about yourself most of the time. That's it, everyone is thinking about themselves, not you.
2. Try setting goals for everyday, however small it is but make the goal a part of bigger picture. Like learning a new language, everyday set a small goal of learning about the language, watch content in that language, just small goals everyday. Consistency is better than intensity, doing a little everyday adds up.
Just my 2 cents and also become curious about new things and learn about them, keep yourself busy and you will stop thinking about other people.
Hope it helps, ✌️

You mean they shouldn't be learning about kink and how to work a stripper pole? Blasphemy!

then you send them home to their materialistic and emotionally bankrupt parents, what's the use?

@@maximuskhan2100 tf gross

@@maximuskhan2100 ….what? Was that supposed to be a joke?

Yes, and also we can do it ourselves. I am with mine

👌

So if you do not have your health anymore you must have done something wrong ? My husband is disabled . All he did wrong was enjoy his freedom on his motorcycle . We all chase freedom . Or people would not chase gods or medication . To each there own is my way for the most part . I just wondered what the other side of this way of looking at things looked like.

8 fold path . I will look into that.

@@montacap we discover things as life move on. for some people it joy, for other it sorrow. If we're happy with what given, make the best of what there will truly liberate you. Vice versa if we only know happiness then we can never truly know happiness cause we don't know the its true value. Only when you experience both extremities you understand what you need, what is valuable to you. For me it's family for other it wealth, I don't judge them cause they have their own referencing system. In your husband's case if he is happy with life at the moment, he have live it to the fullest with no regret. Who know, may be one day I will regret not skydiving or riding a motorcycle, even more so than having good health or live longer for a couple of years. We all choose our own poison anyway...

@@congducdinh7393 He almost died in a motorcycle wreck . Lol. He is now dieing slowly with a blood clot filter in him they can not take out that will brake one day . I have I am not sure how many times heard him say I am so glad you where not on the back that day . I tell him I would have laid there and bled out . I am a tough bird but I do not think I want to fight that hard it is time for some flight .

People were always sad duh

I love you for that comment kiwi.

@@SCORP1ONF1RE me 2

@@user-kt8kk2jg7i Nobody disagrees, OP is pointing out that the numbers are getting worse.

I find it hard to get some people to listen to this wisdom. Especially our young people, they don't want to hear anything from us "old" folk. Some even blame us as their source of misery.

Eleanor Roosevelt. One of the most effective First Ladies in US history

Say the Privileged few

This woken me up!

but explain how, Eleanor. :(

@@AlexisTwoLastNames for example, when you work the goal is to make money, when you does make money ou feel happy. Thus happiness is the by product

Lesserafim

We have to show them our impurities

@@georgebriseno can't believe this channel spoiled antifragile 10 months ago 😕

I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT

Keep KPOP to yourself.

What’s the method of meditation that’s worked for you? Do you just sit and process whatever comes to mind, do you prefer guided meditation, silence vrs music or maybe just noise, etc?

THIS! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

'Fear of Feeling' that is a huge thing that I struggle with. That is a perfect description.

@@comfortableovertones this does make a lot of sense i find the gym and especially running to be very therapeutic, you’re completely right meditating is about connecting with yourself in whatever way you feel best doing :)

I tried meditating once and starter to cry even before realising it. That silence in mind was immaculately loud.

i literally wrote this down in my notebook while watching the video almost exactly like this comment, im gonna read it everyday

Each of them creating a challenge of their own. The search for purpose is equally paradoxical as the search for happiness. Finding material important enough to engage in (what you care about) in itself can be a life long struggle. Quality time with one's we love. Not all of us have that gift.

In esotericism this is like the four elements plus spirit. Spirit is at the top of the pentagram. The reason why the upside down star/pentagram has got a satanic vibe is because its putting spirit on the bottom, as the lowest priority, while earth(physical well being) and fire (ambition, creativity somewhat, libido somewhat) are at the top. I haven't watched the video yet but I just wanted to share that.
Also
Air=intellect, mind, and the suit of swords in tarot.
Water=emotion, relationships, suit of cups in tarot.
Lots of people hate this kind of stuff :/ so I just wanted to share

Yeah I heard the video

Thank you

A cousin of mine did not like the Sadness character because of her causing problems. Had a hard time explaining to her why Sadness had to exist for Happiness to have impact and meaning.

I looooove that movie. Learn something new every time I watch it

@@doanale3344 We need to analyse the movie for my English class, so these are my interpretations.
- There was a scene where in blue memory ball Riley is sitting on a branch alone feeling sad because she lost the winning shot for her ice hockey team. And then her parents and teammates came and cheered her up, then she became happy as the memory ball turned golden (Sadness is a beacon; it signals our distress to others so they can help us)
- When Bing Bong lost his wagon in the abyss, Joy couldn't comfort him by saying it's not that bad, distracting him by tickling and forcing him to move on. Sadness on the other hand, sat down with him and got him to recall his adventures with Riley and validated how sad losing his only reminder of Riley is. Only then, after crying he could continue the journey. (Sadness is a core component of empathy - for us to be a good listener so others can vent to us and feel better. Also we need to make time for all our feelings, including Sadness. Avoiding our Sadness with distractions will only bottle it up inside and cause breakdowns/depression/lost of joy)
- Sadness caused Riley to act up in the movie, but in the end as Riley came home after her attempt to ran away, her relationship with her parents became stronger than ever. (Sadness strengthens relationships).
Perhaps you can tell these to your cousin 😉

That’s crazy, I’m just doing everything wrong with my portfolio.

The US-Stock Mrkt had been on it’s longest bull-run in history, so the mass hysteria and panic is relatable considering we’re not accustomed to such troubled mrkts, but there are avenues lurking around if you know where to look. My wife and I are retiring this year with over $7,000,000 in tax deferred investments. up until 3 years ago we were 100% in the S&P. During bear markets we had a perfect plan. We got an investment manager in our corner and didn’t look at our portfolio for nearly a year.

Same here, 75% of my portfolio is in the red and I really don’t know how long I can stomach the losses. I’m beginning to reach a breaking point.

Patience patience patience. It's a cycle.... a sucky point in the cycle, but a cycle nonetheless.

Hello, I am new when it comes to investing and i would really appreciate if I could get some tips about where it is worth to invest in (ETFs, Stocks, Growth stocks, Dividend stock etc.)

100 percent

Absolutely, I was thinking the same thing. There are also many other philosophies that are great for providing guidance, the subject should be taught in depth in place of religion. It is critical that we instill a sense of virtue into all people from a young age.

Yes become anti fragile now shut up and become a slave worker for corporate America and don’t complaint

@@jesuslover5968 even an attempt to escape your so-called slavery would still require anti-fragility tho.

@Alice Amell mmm. You may have a fundamental misunderstanding of stoicism. The virtues important to the stoic are honor, honesty, courage (or lack of fear), determination to do the right thing, but never happiness. I'm not sure if happiness is a virtue, but for the stoic it is not even a goal. It is a by product of living a true life, a gift given to those who do not chase it.

i was so tough as a kid, i got soft growing up, the hurt doesn't heal as fast when you aren't as tough

When pressure is placed on the system it gets stronger, it increases and prospers. That’s anti-fragility. That’s resilience 2.0

Being anti fragile is not about covering vulnerability with deniel or being defiant. Real anti fragility is when we can face the harsh realities of life like death, terminal illnesses, separation from loved ones, losing every material possession, having to live with uncouth people etc with equanimity.
There is long journey of training required for that. I've stumbled upon a vast source of knowledge ( thousands of Scriptures)on searching for happiness and equanimity through wisdom( true deep realisation of how the body and mind works).

​@@CoolIcingcake3467.Very well put.Thank you for posting this piece!

@jeff-onedayatatime.2870 - wow this one hit home! My whole life as a child I developed the kind of resilience I thought was un-breakable. I always loved and respected the idea of being alone when I needed to. Then some months after a long term relationship I ended I stopped knowing how to be and do all of those things. One night at a concert it just hit me out of the blue. I don’t know what triggered it but it just hit right there and then. Suddenly I felt lonely, wanting the company of others not knowing how to be alone like I’ve been my entire life. Suddenly my forever positive and sophisticated perspective on life wasn’t enough to get me out of the deep. It hit so hard. Weeks later I’m now seeing this video and now this comment. So my problem was becoming anti fragile led me to forget my breakage would be particularly painful. It’s been weeks now but I’m finally healing. Understanding and getting there had a lot to do with me accepting that everyone will always have vulnerabilities. Even I, who always swore I could never have. It took a long time but sometimes admitting to yourself these things is key to healing. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It allows you to love and care for much more deeply!

It's so briliant

I can’t get the first part down

This is the best to be honest.

Only thing that has ever made sense to me regarding happiness...ever. This comment right here.

This is it.

"this too shall pass" is my go to mantra of every situation in life

Yeah, to me this seems like the only reasonable mindset to have. I generally try to detach myself from anything happening to me, good or bad, by telling myself that it isn't permanent.

@@BiggyJimbo yeah even the death of a loved one isn’t permanent because one day you’ll die too and won’t feel it anymore

I remember telling someone that I just live life as it happens and they responded that it was a bad way to live lol. I still live life as it happens, and I’m thankful for the things I have and try to make the best of most things.

@@BiggyJimbo When you say "detachment", it sounds like you're not letting yourself be in the moment. Like you're just clinging to the idea "this won't be forever" whenever anything happens. If that's so, that's not a good way to live. Buddhism, which this video gets most of its philosophy from, teaches that clinging to the way thing are - attachment - and being averse to the way things are - detachment - are the two root causes of human suffering. It teaches of a way in between those two things - nonattachment - not clinging on, but not avoiding either. It symbolizes these three states as two hands clasped firmly together, two hands held at a distance, and finally, two hands placed gently together with palms open. Rather than clinging firmly to the nature of change and using that idea as an anchor, you should hold on loosely to that idea and allow it to let you live fully in every moment.

Thank you, @Mayya for this!

Thank you.

S.P.I.R.E. 👌🏼 …thx Mayya

It applies to cptsd aswell. And the corresponding growth which is very very rare is what carl jung described as treasure hard to attain. Its very very very complicated to pull yourself out of trauma in that manner. Healing is not the way, you'll never be healed lol that's pathetic.

@@007lutherking healing is the process of accepting of what happened to you. And if something truly horrific happened to you, it’s not always “to make you stronger”. I work at the hospital and I saw cases that are pretty sad. I saw a guy once who was paralyzed from neck down due to spinal cord injury. He can’t talk, he can’t move, he can’t even breath on his own yet he has a 100% intact intelligence. Are you really going to come to a guy like that and tell him that his injury made him stronger? Seriously? Stop the bs. Such logic only works for light level bad life events such as losing your job or getting a divorce. For truly horrific things such as serious health trauma, repeated sexual abuse, kidnapping, murder of the loved one in front of you etc. For such instances this approach does not work

@@Oktaviii your comment shows your lack of understanding of trauma. But thanks for trying. Learn some psychology and philosophy first.

@@007lutherking sure, go ahead, talk philosophy to people who went through extremely traumatic events. Maybe you should learn what real life is really about. Your comment shows that you only know trauma from books, not experience

@@Oktaviii you're talking trauma. I'm talking about cptsd which is much worse. Do some research

The thing I said about “nooo don’t cry” isn’t hating on my friends btw. It’s just an observation about what most people honestly do, but I’ve thrown that mentality away myself

I honestly think it’s because society has taught us that sadness is bad, so we want to try and “fix” it whether it’s our own sadness or other’s sadness, but what really needs fixing is how we handle the sadness

Bang on! I feel the same...
If sadness and anger were so bad, nature wouldn't have created those emotions

Sadness can feel good to an extent, and it is necessary to feel it from time to time in order to have balance. However, (and I’m not saying this is true to you) if your reaction to any mildly upsetting thing is to be sad for the rest of the day, that is not healthy. It is important to know how to feel your emotions and let them pass through you, rather than letting them drag you through a downward spiral. But overall, I do agree that sadness is necessary and it feels good to release your emotions by crying rather than keeping them stored inside you.

So wise for so young. I'm really impressed. Keep walking ...bundle up when it's cold

All the best 👍

Glad you came and visited this video :)

and how? i don't get what this video is trying to say

You got this

@@nia2088 From my take, I think it's saying to not be afraid of doing hard things. (best summary is the last bit if it's TL:DR)
So like for the Spirtual part, he mentions having a purpose in the morning. While this can be something long term like build up a great career, it can also be small things like cleaning a bedroom and then watering some plants (so assigning yourself a task to build up some urgency).
While doing this, you also have to consider the physical part, which he said was to do with stress. So when you take time off, you may still be worrying about things or that you're being productive. But what he is saying is to treat it like a productive thing and that you should treat it like a job in itself and actually completely try to de-stress.
by doing these steps you are breaking down the task's that you would view as hard or stressful (especially if you're depressed or neurodivergent) and learning how to break it down and not chase instant gratification, but learn how to enjoy and balance the stress of doing the task's you need to do.
It's essentially incorporating Frankl's logotherapy, where he suggests we all need a purpose, so instead of trying to find something that will make us happy, Frankl suggests we need something to work towards and that in turn what will bring us happiness. (But this builds upon it, by providing steps as to how to achieve this)

Very positive thoughts. Wishing you the best for your journey! 🙂

Did your counselor provide ways to accomplish these?

Thank you for sharing, and best of luck in your recovery!

@@brian7110 I am attending Dialectical Behavioral Therapy groups weekly, and we discuss this in therapy as well, and work with CBT. I have to kind of relive some of the traumatic events, too, to process those emotions. It's still new and it's day by day. I think the DBT group is the most helpful so far

Wishing you the best

Amazing quote! So appropriate.

So true - seeking happiness is a misguided pursuit...seeking becoming who you truly are and enacting your values - leads to deep emotional rewards - satisfaction - increase in serotonin...,feels so much better than the dopamine happiness or pleasure gives you...

@@morganlake41632 what if only about 0.006 percent of the population can even understand who you truly are? where is the happiness in being alone most of the time. There is a certain amount of "you have to go along to get along." This can result in serious cognitive dissonance . Hard to find happiness between a rock and a hard place, but then there is always the humor of the situations. I suppose that could be a form of "happiness", laughter.

Sound like incel speak

It's only school, Don't feel so bad

As the person below says, it's only school, but when you're living it, it can feel overwhelming and it's not much help when older people say you will barely remember this stress in a few years. You're stressed in the here and now- is there someone you could talk to? Can you write down the things that are making you stressed? can you put them in an order of what needs dealing with most urgently? Can you ask one or two of your teachers to ease up on the deadlines? If at all possible don't try to manage this on your own- we've all been there, including your teachers!

Damn I'm glad my school wasn't that bad.

You will go through school just fine. You will achieve what you want to achieve. But your health should always be priority because without health in the first place, you cannot achieve what you want to achieve. I had to learn the hard way. I was stressed throughout school and now I'm stressed in my job (I'm a nurse). The stress may never end even if you pass school. Deal with it now, otherwise that stress will continue to impact you in all stages of your life.

When it rains it pours but there is always sunshine after the rain and clean fresh air. Wishing you all the best!

Oh wow I love this, it makes a lot of sense to me.

Wow great quote, who said/wrote it?
But what is the connection to the topic?

Same exactly

👍

we all are human, at the end.

Aka dopamine.

Amen

Life began as a curse in my perspective, and through existance i have grown fond of its double sidedness. It is both beautiful and ugly, terrorfying and awestriking.

Except you don’t need god’s or anyone else’s permission or help-/ you always ALWAYS have the choice of what you focus on.
You’ve far more power over your life than you’ve been led to believe

@@corareece9078 that yin/yang is universal- not something unique to your experience. Tides ebb and flow, day becomes night, up and down, in and out-- it’s EVERYWHERE not just where you live.
In other words- don’t take it personally- the universe didn’t single you out

@@differenttakethanmost yeah i got that mate. Thanks for the reminder kiddo

I did this daily for 6 months in psychiatry against depression and sticked to it ever since. After soap I turn down the temperature and rinse myself with icecold water going slowly from feet to face, from right side to heart side. Now Wim Hof gathered a lot of knowledge about this technique.

Plan your days realistically, have thinks to do every day from morning till evening . This gives you purpose to wake up and look forward . Get a hobbby . Drowns your mood only on yourself . Accept that u can only control yourself not others. Wake up repeat . Even better go volunteer to countries , shelter where people have so much less but so much more happier . Write daily gratitude. Make small term plans , long term plans . Write steps to achieve them . Make realistic goals . Nothing like I want to be around singer stuff . Something more realistic will be I want to start singing , recording , posting , sing for family , church , school . Enjoy every little achievement. Any small task done ✅ gives so much boost of energy and happiness. Make sure tasks are realistic, consider your own laziness , speed be honest . Good luck .

You got this babe

I'm glad you've thrived I'm so proud of you

Tips on thriving after ptsd?

Well said. Thanks for sharing!

How do you know you would have been depressed if you hadn’t had a gratitude practice? Maybe you are just not the type of person to get depressed.

I think that's good and I'm glad for you, but it's also a lot easier when you've never suffered. be wary of the darkness, because it will come, and be prepared to embrace it just as much as you do your happiness

I think this can lead to a path of nihilism as well if you’re not careful, speaking from experience.

Sounds like youre trying to convince us that you really are happy. This initially led me to believe that you're actually trying to convince yourself that you are happy.
I then thought to myself that doesnt have to be true. Maybe youre just frustrated with how "others have criticized the ways you use and think to stay happy", and relieving some emotional pressure from this by commenting on KRplus, affirming yourself. Thats okay. Stay strong Stella.

@@nemonym711 what the f is that response...

@@trappart9209 I think we call that an "empath response" 🤣

@@InvaIidGaming sounds like some gaslighting bullshit. “Empaths,” needs to stop projecting their bs.

Congratulations, Stella! That's great to hear. I recently came to find happiness through a similar version of the antifragility model, posed 30 years ago in the book The Power of Full Engagement. Anyway, congrats to us both for finding what (very tragically, sincerely) isn't so often accessed by most!

Or ignorance. Not sure how anyone can be happy knowing people are dying preventable deaths everyday. I guess it’s easy to ignore when you’re only real problem is whether or not you are “happy”

So early wow.

I've had severe depression for years and I'm in a dark place in life right now, but I have a son who helps to cure it in the moment but I feel the same way every night when I'm alone, how to train my mind to Pursue true happiness and not doubt my progress or lose myself again along the way is what I seek ultimately, for more than just me, for my kid he just turned 1 and I give him everything he wants and needs but I don't want him to grow up and see me this way but it's been this way for so long I don't know what to do.. I'm 22 and I'm seeking help with the answers to my problems and all advice is wisdom and highly appreciated. Words of encouragement, anything. I need help...

I think it's because of the "future" aspect. When we try to achieve happiness, it means that we believe we don't have it yet. So we pressure ourselves to grasp for it but at one point only get impatient: Something like "I want it now!" or "How will it finally feel?" or "how much longer until then?" And similar thoughts I guess. I personally think a better approach would be to just believe we are already happy, which would also closely tie with the concept of gratitude. I mean, it works for me!

@@kaiserwilhelm3680 its very brave of you to reach out and seek help. I dont have a child, but I am currently struggling with consistent panic attacks. Life is rough man. It is going to remain challenging. My advice is try and exercise when you can, stay off social media, try to participate in any healthy social events you can, seek professional help, seek a higher power (whether outside or within yourself). Youre loved

@@kaiserwilhelm3680 I hope you are in a better place mentally, buddy and life is better for you and your son♥

@Ethan Brown - Yet nobody tells you how to make your mind stronger ......

And becoming billionaire by exploiting others

@@montesa9136 everyone’s journey is different, that’s why. What exactly works for one does not work for another.

I naturally am anti fragility so I often run into trouble with work because of it. 😏

no matter the passing contexts which is constantly changing..

This is pure statement. Made me suspicious from the start.

Thanks for the summary!

Yay a positive attitude!

Not if you're in deeo enough despair. If the 5 things the video highlighted are in a bad enough state, the natural beauty in the world can feel hollow and meaningless. If you're just mildly sad or going about your day to day and things aren't so bad, yes those things are nice and good to savor.

I agree 🙌🏽 👏🏽

Great point. If you are able to find happiness in a given moment, you will always be able to be happy. If you spend most moments of your life trying to achieve happiness in later ones, it becomes impossible to achieve it overall.

I hate how Buddhism is brought into this. Most western believe that Buddhism purpose is to achieve happiness when it’s not. It main purpose is to numb the human experience (to withdraw itself from emotions because they all lead to suffering). Also the biggest country to practice Buddhism have one of the highest suicide rates(Sri Lanka). I’m just pointing out the flaws. People need to stop with Buddhism is a way lifestyle and accept is a religion.

I didn't even watch the video, I just came straight to the comment section to see a comment like that 🧎🏽‍♂️

My problem is that acceptance and being content leads to apathy. If I am not craving gadgets, tasty food or fun activities, I feel like there is no purpose in doing anything.

Thank you for this. I think I get it more now. I never liked being without two parents as a child. I definitely noticed that I seemed to be the only one of my cousins and siblings. My family is huge and on my maternal side, we are very fertile. My mom is one of 13. I could see no one who could not say they had a relationship with both of their parents. It’s like I knew in my young mind that I was lacking and that was bad and it could be better. I don’t think I ever stopped believing that. It’s just that even if it’s true that my parents could have done so much better-it doesn’t matter bec I’m the one that chooses my beliefs. I didn’t know how to see it as a good thing or to be hopeful that I could have the family or home that I need later on. Not as a child. So I’m working on it now closer to 40. And I can finally see how it’s all torture to believe that the past could have been better. Or that anyone is responsible for my experiences.

@@julius43461The purpose of life is serving life! Relieving pain for oneself and others, meeting needs, and making life more wonderful for all!
There’s no shortage of work to do!

@@julius43461 What is the purpose of flying a kite?

@@user-dq2ym1nn9k I have no clue. It's fun for a while I guess.

Read Emile Zola instead. Enough of those new-age books.