Dear Anxiety || Spoken Word

I hope this helps someone out there. Love you all.
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Schools should really start talking about depression and anxiety, not only bullying because sometimes we bring ourselves down, not others.. 😕

some ppl don't under depression and having anxiety when u try to look for help they say that you are seeking attention but deep down you are drowning, you really need their help not their judgments

Man... When he says, "I'm good thank you" and walks out.... That was perfectly depicted with how anxiety is.. Everything he wanted too and needed to say... But instead chose to bottle it all up because he felt he didn't have a choice.. anxiety PERFECTLY explained.

It’s crazy how much I come back to this 😢 this is so relatable

“I’m an actor who got really good at being on today” that hit deep

mom- whats the matter
me- *smiles* nothing
*thinking* don't cry, don't cry

“But everything I really am is what I didn’t want to be”
Took the air from me….

Anyone reading this. You have purpose you are here for a reason. Don't give up, stay. We need you here.

The happiest of people are usually the saddest.

" anxiety is not an item that can return at the store "

I've turned back to God because of this video . Today is my first day giving up alcohol. I'm depending on Him to get me through this. Thanks man for this video, you're truly helping people ❤

I'm 29 and I stutter. I can out work, out smart anyone in my career. Every time I hear this, I break down crying 20-30 seconds in. Religions not my cup of tea, but the message hits hard.

The loneliest people are the KINDNESSES
The saddest people are the BRIGHTEST
Alll because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did

2.5 million views but only 486k subscribers. You're helping more people than you know, Clayton. Thank you.

I just sat down next to my teenage daughter & had her listen to this... as you spoke I looked at her beautiful face and she was wiping away her tears. My beautiful girl suffers from severe anxiety - I feel partially responsible as my daughter doesn't remember me not having cancer - I am blessed by God above to still be here today, but that doesn't take her hurt or her fear away. I just wanted to say Thank You Clayton for having such a positive impact on so many lives today♡. All my thanks & love to you & your beautiful family♡.

The message in this is the ending, so many times people that deal with anxiety have so much they want/need to say. In private we feel strong, and talk our selves up. Then when we come face to face with it, we just can not bring ourselves to say it. Anxiety took 40 years of my life away. I am more free now then i ever have been. That said it is still a choice i have to keep making. Those voices are still there still putting me down, but i keep reminding myself of how good it feels.

The ending really hits cuz thats what everyone says when their asked "are u ok" "yeah I'm fine"

The NF of Spoken Word

This honestly made me break down when I heard it 1st time. He said every feeling and emotion I can't. Masterpiece.

Anyone just forget about this video for so long, then remember how good it is and come back when feeling stressed and anxious, such a great spoken word!

Who else wants to tell him "Thank u for making this"? 👍🏼👍🏼💯💯🔥🔥💙💙💙

“30 years old but still hates being alone when im home because thats when the voices get the loudests” 😞💔
Me: 100%

This was totally my journey exactly except I was 34 when diagnosed with severe panic disorder. Took 3 years of facing my fears, learning to shut off the cacophony and learning to hear God’s spoken words directly to me. He speaks a better word. Perfect Love cast out my fears. I’m 52 now and 15 years anxiety feee. ❤ love your music so encouraging

Oh man… this hits hard. It’s so hard to express the feelings, the pain, that comes along with depression. It’s so much more than just being sad…

I wake up, puddle of sweat.
I have nightmares and I get back into bed.
It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head.
And I can’t keep them to leave me alone, thirty years old but still hates being alone when I’m home.
Because that’s when the voices get the loudest.
Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest.
But these demons keep pressing me, I swear to the foulest.
But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is coulees.
My dreams are their playground, my thoughts are their palace.
I’ve tried to evict them, they returned with more.
Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store.
I was ten the first time I had an panic attack.
Like a punch to the stomach there is no planning for that.
And I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say.
And I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away.
It was my fight to fight and my battle to face.
I remember that house I grew up in an how these demons would rattle that place.
I’d lay awake at night staring at the ceiling.
I’ve spend my whole life trying to run from that feeling.
That feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being lost when the lights turn off.
That feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious.
The feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this.
Only to get silence in return.
I’d lay In that bed crying and I toss and I turn.
And I turn and I toss till this day.
The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray.
I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away.
So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today.
I’m an actor who got really good at being on today.
But when I turn off I go right back into the shadows.
I’m at the deep end now but I started in the shallows.
And I might just drown myself in these waves.
So burn me in hell, these homes are all graves.
Everyone is coping with something but won’t admit that they all too afraid.
And these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say.
If I’m honest with them, maybe they wont think highly of me.
Everything they want me to be is what I’m dying to be.
But everything I really am, is what I’m not trying to be.
I want them to know they not alone In their struggles.
I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles.
And I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley.
I’m in terrified that all along god is telling my sins.
And if he has the number must be astronomic.
My life is a joke and you keep reading just past the comic.
Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth.
I wish I could open up to you and just let loose.
But my vocal cords get thight when the devil pulls on this news.
And then I’m back at keeping everything bottled up inside.
But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time.
He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this.
I can’t get out of bed, I was never meant to act like this.
I’m packing up my backs and he can’t stop me from running fast like this.
I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety.
I’m showing the devil back for every time that he lied to me.
And I’m taking a belt to this demons who whisper to spear my ear.
And I’m ignoring every nay-sayer who stands and stares when I’m near.
I’m moving forward out of this slum.
I took my bruises I took my lumps.
I felt down but I got right back up.
So give me a torch and just light that up.
I’m sending fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline.
Look at you now.
Now you not laughing at me.
Now who’s the one being tortured and plunked.
Now who’s the one closing every door that I want.
Now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground.
Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around.
I’m not done talking to you now.
I’m watching you moves.
I’m on your back and I’m stalking you too.
And when you try to ruin some other kids life I’ll be stopping you too.
You took thirty years of my life, and I can’t get that back.
You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that.
You took me down but I bounced right back.
I was lost then but I got found like that.
Everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me I was.
And everything you hated in me, someone new told me he loved.
And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety.
He reached in and placed hope deep inside of me.
So I’m done listening to you and let you control me.
I’m announcing now that the devil can’t hold me.
I’m walking away from the old me, and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me.
You knew I would find a way out sooner or later.
And I found my escape in the form of a savior.

It’s scary how a smile and a “just tired” can get people to think your fine...
I’m not I don’t think I ever will be fine but as far as you know and care I am, as long as I’m doing fine I’m school and am not bothering anyone, I’m okay, no matter how much I’m struggling..
To those reading in the comments I know why your here you feel like your giving up, your scared and have no one to go to but someday things may get better we will find someone to help us, maybe one day we’ll actually be fine...
Edit: I never even knew about the reply’s and likes, for one I’m so sorry to everyone who can relate to what I was and still do feel from time to time. I wish I could take that away. But I’m here to tell you it does get easier, as cliche as it sounds, I know it does, it does, maybe not entirely, I’m still waiting for that but those moments when we wish we could smile and genuinely mean it, they do come, and I won’t lie saying that there won’t be bad days, because unfortunately there always will be. I’m simply here to say, just wait, there’s so many things to look forward to, that one song that you’ll cherish forever. The movie you’ll have on repeat. The memories of watching sunsets. The KRplus videos you’ll never get to see. The books you’ll never get to read. The people you’ll never get to meet.
You will meet people who will accept you for everything you are, and when you do, it will be magical you just need to be there to see it. We both do, so please hold on, let’s take a trip, till the shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time, we’ve already made it to the moon. It was hard I know, but how about we go to Pluto it must be so lonely out there, we’ll make it together. How does that sound. Please hold one, so we can both have those good days, where we can really smile.

I love the fact that he referenced God and our saviour Jesus as his ticket out from anxiety. This piece is such an inspiration and an eye opener to the limitless potentials of God to touch and change ANYONE. keep repping Jesus man 👍

This is such a powerful video, I've been fighting anxiety and depression for about 24 years and it just gets worse as the years go by. I'm hoping someday I'll be able to figure out how to feel normal again but when there's no one to talk to and relationships don't last it feels like there's no where to turn

"Screaming to god begging him to take this only to get silence in return"wow I felt that!

He needs to collab with NF

I come here sometimes not to feel sad but sometimes I feel numb hearing this helps me fight my inner demons, and snap out of it thank you for this video

I rememeber so vividly finding this around when it came out at one of my lowest points, and hearing every word perfectly describing every single feeling in my body and every single feeling piled on top of me. I remember laying in my bed and just listening because I was so exhausted to even keep my eyes open to watch the video. These videos and these words saved me, they gave me the break I needed and something to hear. It kept me from simply giving into myself and letting it all drown me. I dont think Id be where I am, working and moving forward if these words weren't spoken. I may not have the same beliefs, but I was saved in a way. Coming back to this, it makes me feel stronger years later. Thank you

He just explained my whole life in 6 mins

“The doctors gave me medication and the pastors said pray I tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away so forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today.” Felt this heavy

Absolutely incredible! This is truly how it feels for me every time I try and open up to someone and I get discarded, devalued and dismissed. It's hard enough to try and share your inner demons with another but as soon as it is met with contempt, annoyance and condescension, it does more harm than people even realize.

Love this. I've been fighting anxiety and panic attacks for over 20 years and still I struggle but through the years I've learned manage it better. I've turned to God to overcome it ,I've also turned to drugs to mask it. I don't have a perfect solution but what I can say is this , drugs only made the anxiety worse in the end ,Christ however has been by my side through it all and gave me the strength to push through and never give up. I truly believe I will one day be completely free of the Anxiety that affects so many. God Bless

“To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering”

"I am 30yrs old and i still hate being alone by myself" ... Yea you're talking to someone that knows

I needed this!! The lord never lets his flock wander too far, he always knows how to bring them home

This is art! Absolutely incredible. Showing him walking in. And the last piece is genius!! It hurts to know others feel like this but also reminding me we’re not alone. ❤ hugs to anyone who gets this.

My favorite part of this video is the end where he actually didn’t say anything. That’s what really happens. We stay silent. We’re afraid. It’s scary to be vulnerable, but vulnerability brings strength

Social anxiety makes me feel like a weirdo.
I look at normal people talking and laughing and I’m just like I wish I could... maybe... never.
Everytime I talk to someone I sweat and stumble on my words, can’t make eye contact.

Dear god I have never heard this before and I’m speechless there no words for how hard this just hit and brought me to tears this is absolutely insane of a song just this song just found a home on my playlist forever

My younger self back in 2019 had seen this video and I had commented on it about how I pray I become stronger and how I hope my mom would be nicer to me and not show so much hate… 5 years later she is still the same I am a junior in high school that have been doing well and I hope I am making my younger self much happier. I love you man your strong…

I cried! I suffer from anxiety every day is a battle. Thank you Clayton for your beautiful powerful poetry. God bless you 🙏

I’m an actor that got really good at being on today. That, that’s the truth for so many of us

Clayton,
I know it sounds crazy but I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I feel and relate to every word you say. I’ve lost loved ones I’d trade places with without a second thought, so many more I’d do the same for and that’s the truth. Knowing I’m not alone gives me a feeling of comfort that only I understand. The first of many times I’ve listened to this brought me to tears. I try to express these feelings to my loved ones but constantly feel like I’m talking to a wall. Everyone thinks because I can wear a smile and act tough that this anxiety is killing me slowly after all. No one can understand if they don’t know this pain. Thank you for making me not feel alone in this struggle. God bless you for all you’ve done to make us who suffer from anxiety not feel alone. I pray for God’s help but not sure I’m worthy. Even if I’m not worthy because of the pain I caused, I will continue to pray for all that suffer like me can find peace. -Brett

"You took thirty years of my life and I can't get that back, you told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that" - Clayton Jennings
This verse hit me hard

NF and you should really do something together!

Everyone who fights depression and anxiety like me , We are a huge Family and we can get through this together. NEVER GIVE UP

2023 and i still come bk here 😢

You just made me cry! Boy can I relate! No need for words, I hear you.

I just want to hug him to show him he's not alone 😢💔.

People assume that if they see you looking unwell your probably sick.
People don’t realise that you can have a smile on your face, but be so lonely and lost inside 💙

I'm 17 years old, I've been listening to you for longer then I know. I struggle with really bad panic attacks. I collapse to the floor. It hurts to breathe. My throat closing up. I cant stop them, so I lay on the floor crying beacuse i cant breathe. I wish I could not have them. I missed a whole month of class beacuse I thought everyone hated me. I couldnt go to class beacuse id cry so much. You've helped me figure out how to help me. Thank you.

"I'm in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows." That part always gets me, I've been listening to this for years now. This has been my main inspiration to write my own poems about how anxiety and insecurities feel. I love this so much 💛

That is a perfect line: You told me to end my life and I nearly got killed for that. I love the end of this, it's a perfect rendition of anxiety.....all he said was in his head and anyone with anxiety knows that this is exactly how it works

As someone who struggles with generalized anxiety disorder and clinical depression, this was one of the most powerful videos I've seen in a long, long time. Thank you.

If anyone ever cared/wondered how I felt on a daily basis this song sums up perfectly what it is like to have an illness

You literally saved my life I watched your daily bible reading

You realise how much you’re hurting when you relate to every word.

“And I found my escape through the form of a savior “

I appreciate your honesty! I live my life one breath at a time...Honest & straight forward! I relapsed 2 years ago after being CLEAN for 27 years! All I can say is, I am completely lost & the insanity of my past has bitten me. I pray & ask GOD to pull me through this fog & help me to shine like , I know I can!!!❤

Having depression and panic attacks is sometimes the hardest to explain to people because they
Just don't understand

Dear Anxiety/Spoken Word
I wake up, puddle of sweat, I have nightmares and I get back into bed. It’s like these voices just keep playing on repeat in the back of my head and I can’t get them to leave me alone. 30 years old but still hates being alone when I’m home. Because that’s when the voices get the loudest. Opening up like this is a moment far from my proudest, but these demons keep pressing me, I swear their the foulest. But I’ve grown comfortable with their presence, my conscious is calloused, my dreams are their playground my thoughts are their palace. I tried to evict them, they return with more. Anxiety isn’t an item you can return at the store. I was 10 the first time I had a panic attack, like a punch to the stomach, there’s no planning for that. and I didn’t tell anyone because I was too scared about what they’d say and I know deep down there was nothing they could do to take it away. It was my fight to fight, and my battle to face. I remember that house I grew up in and how those demons would rattle that place. I’d lay in my bed awake at night just starring at the ceiling. I’ve spent my whole life trying to run from that feeling; that feeling of being lonely, that feeling of being lost, that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off, that feeling of being depressed, that feeling of being anxious, that feeling of screaming to god begging him to take this, only to get silence in return.
I lay in that bed crying and I’d toss and I’d turn, and I turn and toss till this day. The doctors gave me medication, the pastor said pray. I’ve tried both and this anxiety still hasn’t gone away. So forgive me if I fantasize about being gone today, I’m an actor who got really good at being on today, but when I turn off I go right back into the shadows. I’m in the deep end now, but I started in the shallows. And I might just drown myself in these waves. Suburban hell these homes are all graves, everyone’s coping with something but won’t admit it their all too afraid, and these kids are glued to watching me, what do I say? If I’m honest maybe they wont think highly of me. Everything they want me to be, is what I’m dying to be. But everything I really am is what I’m not trying to be.
I want them to know they are not alone in their struggles. I wake up in tears and fall back asleep in those puddles. and I don’t think I’ll ever get out of this valley I’m in, terrified that all along god has tallied my sins, and if he has, the number must be astronomic. My life is a joke, and you keep reading, just pass the comic, Because everything you think that I am is far from the truth. I wish I could open up to you and just let loose, but my vocal cords get tight when the devil pulls on this noose and then I’m back to keeping everything bottled up inside. But he’s not gonna keep me from pulling the throttle back this time. He’s not gonna keep me trapped like this. I can’t get outta bed, I was never made to act like this. I’m packing up my bags and he can’t stop me from running fast like this. I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety. I’m shoving the devil back for every time that he lied to me, and taking a belt to these demons who whispered despair in my ear, and I’m ignoring everyone neigh sayer who stands and stares when I’m near. I’m moving forward out of this slump; I took my bruises, I took my lumps. I fell down but I got right back up, so give me a torch and lets light that up. I’m setting fire to the devil and I’m dousing these demons in gasoline.
Look at you, now you’re not laughing at me, now who’s the one who’s being tortured and punked. Now who’s the one closing every door that I want, now who’s the one watching the other burn to the ground. Don’t look away from me, you better turn back around! I’m not done talking to you! Now I’m watching your moves, I’m on your back and I’m stalking you to, and when you try to ruin some other kids life, I’ll be stopping you too. You took 30 years of my life, and I can’t get that back, you told me to end my life, and I nearly got killed for that! You took me down but I bounced right back. I was lost then I got found like that. And everything you told me I wasn’t, someone new told me i was and everything you hated in me someone new told me he loves. And when you tried to kill me with depression and anxiety, he reached in and placed hope deep inside of me. So I’m done listening to you and letting you control me, I'm announcing it now that the devil can’t hold me, I’m walking away from the old me and I’m demanding a refund on every lie that you sold me. You knew I’d find a way out sooner or later. And I found my escape in the form of a savior.
~Clayton Jennings

*_WHY DO I ALWAYS CRY WITH HIS VIDEOS?!_*

Took 30 years of my life and I can't get that back God I felt that deeply down in my chest 😢

I start crying when he finishes and kneels

Excuse me for fantasizing about being gone today

For someone who has depression and anxiety .... I can fully relate with him...

This song saved my life. Put words to my pain and gave me the help i needed. I listen to this song a few dozen times a year. It gets better

Man screw those people that torture me when all I do is love them. Clayton your so right, and I'm done with these voices in my head. I wish I can hear your rhymes in my head instead. Please keep going. God bless love you and blake.

"You took 30 years of my life and I can't get that back" hits me so hard.

My therapist asked me what my anxiety is like and I showed Him this video and it brought him to tears

"that feeling of being sick when the lights turn off"

I can’t help but cry, this touched the deep core of me. I hate anxiety I’ve always called it the beast inside me. It rattles in my rib cage & even though I’ve aged it still has some sort of hold on me. I’m battling PTSD & everyday I’m fighting to reach that bright place of recovery, I can honestly say anxiety has never ever really left me, but I pray that one day god will release these shackles from my feet & set me free. Thanks again Clayton you always shine the brightest light for those souls like me who are struggling to find hope in the dark x bless you x

This brought tears to my eyes

I’m truly speechless! That has to be the most captivating thing I’ve ever heard! Truly Gods words. What a Blessing your words are! Thank you Clayton and God Bless all who are struggling!!

Goosebumps. I hope youre ok Clayton. It's hard to struggle every day, even for someone with a platform such as yourself. I hope you're well my guy. Thank you for speaking what those that suffer wish they could say, giving us a voice when we don't have one. I wish whoever reading this gets through the struggle you're facing. You deserve to live and you deserve to thrive. Don't let your demons win. You can do this

I have anxiety, but Social anxiety is the worst of my demons.
I will say I thought it was funny when the opening was an Anxiety support group. I thought, damn, I'd be too scared to go to one and talk let alone be there. and when he spoke up, I felt that shit down to my core. then in the end, when you realized he never really spoke, and it was just all the things he wished he could say, I felt that shit all over again. great video. very real and very emotional.
thank you for being able to put this into words; its therapeutic.

Anxiety and depression it's real and if you haven't been through it please don't judge me, pray for me!

The beat part of this whole thing is how at the end he didn't really say any of the things he wanted to and that's what makes this so real. Thank you Clayton for using your gift to give us somewhere to go and not feel so alone. ❤

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

I am afraid of many people, I don't want anyone to judge me how I dressed, how I speak, how I behave, how my friends won't take me seriously, they think I am boring, they think I am shy but the truth is that :
I am afraid and I want someone to notice anyone?

YOU SAVED MY LIFE MAN
THANK YOU!!

Man this hit me so hard. Struggling with depression. My relationship with God. Had my first panic attacks when I was 10 as well. At the time of watching this I am also 30 years old. I needed to hear this. Amen ✝️ "I'm demanding a refund on every lie that sold me"

Thank you God for stopping me while scrolling searching for a word or something to stir my soul to bring a soul in my life that relates my tears are heart thank you may God Bless and your amazing thru an awesome loving God!!!!

Suicidal Thoughts is a common thing for me, I feel like Stress will never leave my side

“I’m not gonna be a slave to these voices of anxiety” that made me want to cry

4 years ago I was 9th grade I seen this video and honestly it hit hard cuz every word had hard meaning and at the time anxiety was my biggest issue I'm 20 years now and still anxiety hits me medicine dose nothing I needed someone in my life and my gf has been pulling out of my own grave

It's amazing how I keep coming back to this video, every week

It's crazy how many people come back to this everyday. This song is legendary 💕
2022 anyone??

The part at the end when he realizes he didn’t even say it out loud hits so close to home, I think about saying things and run through the whole thing in my head but often don’t say it

4 years ago I never knew what true anxiety was. What true darkness was. I've lived in my own head for so long that it's time to stand out. Stand out in truth. I'm not who the voices say I am. I am not who I am. I wish I could be like Popeye and say I yam what I yam. Because I'm not. I'm not who I am. Im a shell of the old me who died years ago, a shell thats been shot out the pew pew at the old me. Clayton you give joy, and peace to my life. Keep going brother. Love you.

30 years old and still hates being alone when I'm home... That hit deep.

Damn dude. I cried the entire time listening to this. This dude speaks loud and so many of us are quiet out here. Everything he said is exactly how I feel

Your stuff really spoke to me... And now I always believe that God is there for me.... I'm 14 and I went to the hospital for a suicidal attempt.... I watched this video and it really spoke to me and u wanted to say thank you for that... You really helped me in life... And now I know that God is with me everywhere even when I sin... He's still there... Thank you

Depression is not a game. Depression is not a put on.
Depression is hard as no one really knows about depression people out there saying they can help thye can't you and only you knows how to deal. Speak out be strong and keep you're head up high.

Honestly feel like this one hits home so hard that you just dive right into the song and relive all those little bits but at the same time where it makes you reliving it all so makes you remember that you're not alone