How 2 Be Healthy

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  • 게시일 2020. 04. 29.
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댓글 • 30K

  • @jamesdempsey2128
    @jamesdempsey2128 3 년 전 +3964

    5 almonds: No cancer
    500 almonds: Cyanide poisoning: No cancer.

    • @Insert.Oregano
      @Insert.Oregano 3 년 전 +345

      So the limit is 499...?

    • @a.o.8527
      @a.o.8527 3 년 전 +185

      Your profile picture looks like you never have bone problems

    • @zorrows_tale2
      @zorrows_tale2 3 년 전 +26

      Jimbo Obmij exactly no cancer cause you won’t be here to get it 😂😂

    • @noahziperovich
      @noahziperovich 3 년 전 +6

      I said this earlier

    • @crissy4445
      @crissy4445 3 년 전 +72

      ALMONDS ARE INCREDIBLY BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!! DON’T BUY ALMONDS! They use a ridiculous amount of water to grow (about a gallon of water to grow ONE almond) and in California huge almond farms divert water from rivers killing fish and natural life there. Almonds are also a huge contributing factor in bees going extinct, killing billions of bees per year. Bees are brought in to pollinate almond farms, die from pesticides and then they bring MORE BEES to die too! Replace almond milk with oat milk and for God’s sake DON’T BUY ALMONDS!!

  • @OsmSkylandersCheats
    @OsmSkylandersCheats 3 년 전 +9188

    The reason Danny looks 16 is because he eats almonds every day

  • @keziaplayz8015
    @keziaplayz8015 년 전 +1742

    oh, shit, man.. i laughed more than once.. i- i’m gonna miss my family.. *sigh* grab the handcuffs..

    • @eastoncreger4279
      @eastoncreger4279 년 전 +68

      Was it one sustained laugh or several laughs?

    • @keziaplayz8015
      @keziaplayz8015 년 전 +59

      @@eastoncreger4279 several..

    • @averysadpizza6714
      @averysadpizza6714 년 전 +57

      @@keziaplayz8015 we'll let you off for now, with a warning. don't do it again

    • @RedLaundryBasket
      @RedLaundryBasket 년 전 +1

      @@averysadpizza6714 he has still violated the law of the universe, he should and shall still be punished. But in order to find middle ground, we’ll let him off by cutting his head off. He probably already eaten 4 dates so he should be fine… you have eaten 4 dates right KeziaPlayz?

    • @thisismychannel4174
      @thisismychannel4174 년 전 +29

      @@keziaplayz8015 how about 4 dates

  • @Madisongs
    @Madisongs 년 전 +586

    13:33 I actually interpreted the almond effects as more of a stackable thing. By the time you’ve eaten 6 almonds, you would have gained all the powers of the previous almonds PLUS a weight loss buff AND effects similar to a singular aspirin pill. Once you’ve eaten your six almonds per day, you would age backward, have a boost in energy and concentration, have substantial weight loss, have healthy skin, and be immune to both heart disease and all forms of cancer. That’s just six almonds, and those are just the effects you’ve shown in this video. I’ll check out the account to see if there’s more, because I’m now VERY interested in what they think the other effects of eating almonds are.

    • @slam.p
      @slam.p 년 전 +33

      As a fetus i can confirm this, when i was 2 i ate six almonds and immediately began to age backwards!

    • @gayasss
      @gayasss 5 개월 전 +3

      What are you on?

    • @Madisongs
      @Madisongs 5 개월 전

      @@gayasss the autism spectrum :3

  • @sarahcrain3023
    @sarahcrain3023 3 년 전 +3848

    “I’m sorry mam, you have cancer”..... “uh no sorry I ate 5 almonds.” ...... cancer: *ight ima head out*

    • @espy77
      @espy77 3 년 전 +78

      Sarah Crain lol 😂 just laughed so hard lololololol 😂
      OH NO I I HAD MORE THAN ONE LAUGHTER 😰😨😱

    • @fallonvlogs1952
      @fallonvlogs1952 3 년 전 +56

      @@espy77 only 1 laugher
      FBI OPEN UP

    • @Worldsbiggestwinner
      @Worldsbiggestwinner 3 년 전 +5

      Oh hey hey man I wanna was a good day today is gonna I gotta was the day we had a chance to get a chance to see y’all and I wanna was your birthday!

    • @valkiddy89134
      @valkiddy89134 3 년 전 +5

      @Samantha’s Doodles OMG I have more then one laughter to 😳😱😱😨😨😨😰😰😰🌲🌲🌲

    • @certifiedclown6246
      @certifiedclown6246 3 년 전 +1

      Valkerie K why trees?

  • @MarianikiStrong
    @MarianikiStrong 3 년 전 +2114

    My friend: *Eats 5 almonds*
    Me, a cancer: *Evaporates into thin air*

  • @theslimeybois4696
    @theslimeybois4696 년 전 +272

    I know Danny will never see this and it's pretty silly but I wanna comment it anyway- About 6 months ago My pops passed away from cancer and the only thing that's made me feel at least a little better about the whole thing is this video. When he was diagnosed I was devistated but I kept saying to myself "5 almond daily no cancer" to cheer myself up.. this video got me through a lot, it gave me one laugher (only one, no more is allowed) to stop being so upset, and I know it's what he would of wanted. To not be upset about it, but to laugh instead.

    • @sharkksoda
      @sharkksoda 년 전 +13

      I'm so sorry for your loss

    • @sageplayz2343
      @sageplayz2343 11 개월 전 +10

      I'm so sorry for your loss. Danny really is a legend. He might just make shit up as he goes, but it's some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. Having said that, I hope you have an amazing week! :)

    • @asmoboi
      @asmoboi 10 개월 전 +4

      lmao man should have eaten those almonds Skill issue comfirmed

    • @robloxforallstars6314
      @robloxforallstars6314 8 개월 전 +18

      ​@@asmoboiBoooo

    • @asmoboi
      @asmoboi 8 개월 전

      @@robloxforallstars6314 ill eat you

  • @botcore
    @botcore 년 전 +135

    it's been two years and i still haven't made it to the end of the video because i use up my one (1) laughter on "why's my wife such a bitch" every time

  • @its_doovey
    @its_doovey 3 년 전 +4231

    “Wives wanna eat their husbands!”
    Female praying mantises: *well,*

  • @bigscorchy4034
    @bigscorchy4034 3 년 전 +12882

    Me: allergic to almonds
    Cancer: it’s free real estate

    • @gremlin3447
      @gremlin3447 3 년 전 +169

      That made me wheeze 😂

    • @kasey3105
      @kasey3105 3 년 전 +132

      Bro I’m allergic to almonds too!

    • @ZappyVan
      @ZappyVan 3 년 전 +23

      @@gremlin3447 geez calm down it's not that funny

    • @mrditkovich4691
      @mrditkovich4691 3 년 전 +25

      And not only I'm afraid of almonds I'm also afraid of eating peanuts as well

    • @slabman6262
      @slabman6262 3 년 전 +147

      Zapp humor is subjective...now take off your clothes

  • @eastoncreger4279
    @eastoncreger4279 년 전 +100

    Death himself: it is time to go Danny
    Danny: *zooms in on Danny's mouth* how. About. FOUR DATES.

    • @redRuxx
      @redRuxx 9 개월 전 +8

      Danny zooming in on danny

  • @Bug-hn8mz
    @Bug-hn8mz 년 전 +114

    So you’re telling me that if my mom had eaten 5 almonds a day then she wouldn’t have gotten breast cancer

  • @radiotelevision2371
    @radiotelevision2371 3 년 전 +2762

    My 6 rounds of chemotherapy didn’t cure my cancer, no. It was those 5 almonds I ate

    • @bluerose536
      @bluerose536 3 년 전 +321

      Should have ate those almonds before you got cancer, man. Would have saved ya a lot of trouble.

    • @radiotelevision2371
      @radiotelevision2371 3 년 전 +218

      @@bluerose536 tell me about it

    • @sanitizer__
      @sanitizer__ 3 년 전 +68

      👁👄👁gosh darn it *USHOULDVE EATEN THEM, BEFORE THE CANCER!*

    • @SomeGuy-xd5fn
      @SomeGuy-xd5fn 3 년 전 +42

      So youre saying it was cured, which means the 5 almonds worked.
      Therefore it doesnt matter if you have the almonds before or after

    • @homisighed
      @homisighed 3 년 전 +38

      cant have cancer if your dead which is why I choose to work at the CPKO Cancer Patient Killer Organization

  • @selahtorres3631
    @selahtorres3631 3 년 전 +5377

    The targeted demographic is you Danny, having wife while still like 13 years old

    • @clairedavies2061
      @clairedavies2061 3 년 전 +122

      Gre- I mean Danny is officially 13 years old!

    • @selahtorres3631
      @selahtorres3631 3 년 전 +69

      Flower scented soap (that’s the joke)

    • @smileysword330
      @smileysword330 3 년 전 +44

      Flower scented soap r/woosh

    • @yenzi930
      @yenzi930 3 년 전 +27

      Flower scented soap r/wooosh

    • @engmak3363
      @engmak3363 3 년 전 +3

      @@smileysword330 lul r/wooshing someone who is stating facts and not correcting?

  • @darthxader1112
    @darthxader1112 년 전 +88

    I’m so sorry Danny I had so much more than one laughter

    • @attackehhh
      @attackehhh 22 시간 전 +1

      Oopsies! What a pity. Now follow me to the Silencing Room.

  • @chickennugget4724
    @chickennugget4724 년 전 +157

    8:21 fun fact Almonds especially the bitter ones can lead to cyanide poisoning. The HCN level is very much higher in bitter almonds as compared to the other sweet almonds. After enzymatic hydrolysis, hydrocyanic acid (HCN) can result in breathing problems, nervous breakdown, choking, and can even be fatal. idk why i posted this comment

    • @mikudayoooooo
      @mikudayoooooo 년 전 +18

      that’s not very nice of almonds :(

    • @chickennugget4724
      @chickennugget4724 년 전 +2

      @TerraGaming24 dont

    • @goatmom2980
      @goatmom2980 년 전 +3

      @@mikudayoooooo o nu, I spentt meye won lafture

    • @froggy5748
      @froggy5748 년 전 +15

      @TerraGaming24 eating normal almonds you can buy in a grocery store is perfectly safe as long as you don’t eat like hundreds of them at once. You have to really search online to be able to buy bitter almonds, which are the dangerous ones.

    • @melroysojan
      @melroysojan 년 전

      Which means…. You will be reverse aging at such a pace that you will die instantly… great😂😂😂

  • @pog4163
    @pog4163 3 년 전 +3214

    Patient: I have cancer, my cells are mutating
    Doctor: A L M O N D

  • @meiguess6765
    @meiguess6765 3 년 전 +3033

    “Head cut off? How about 4 dates”
    A trick that the French royalty wasn’t aware of

  • @gibbyfromicarlybestshow986

    Today I finally finished this video because of the one laughter a day law. It took me extra long because I kept forgetting what the video was about, then I started over again, then I laughed at the funny memes from the instagram, and I had to turn off my computer and crawl into the cold dark well I sleep in, where nothing else funny can happen for the rest of the day. Needless to say I memorized the whole thing, recited it word for word for my history report, and was expelled from my school. At least I would have been if I was ever technically enrolled there. Tomorrow I start working for the most powerful advertising agency in america. thank you dannyel.

  • @featherblaze8819
    @featherblaze8819 년 전 +25

    Danny: "I hope you're staying well"
    Me with a cold: yes'nt

  • @imsad3630
    @imsad3630 3 년 전 +1862

    “Wine”
    Me, an intellectual:
    R a i s i n W a t e r

  • @LaVaZ000
    @LaVaZ000 3 년 전 +759

    5 Almonds = No cancer
    10 Almonds = *Invincibility*

    • @idkwholizzieis
      @idkwholizzieis 3 년 전 +8

      *30 almonds

    • @catsamsr3440
      @catsamsr3440 3 년 전 +7

      No you need to eat four dates for invincibility

    • @predzelbun2646
      @predzelbun2646 3 년 전 +11

      You mean to tell me I've been this close all along? All these years I've been eating 9 almonds....

    • @crossplayed
      @crossplayed 3 년 전 +2

      Gameshack 40 almonds: GOD LIKE

    • @ashistrash994
      @ashistrash994 3 년 전 +3

      200 almonds: you ascend and become a god

  • @voidcat1285
    @voidcat1285 8 개월 전 +12

    “5 almonds a day, no cancer”
    Me who was born in early July: *nervous sweating*

  • @buy-rb2ou
    @buy-rb2ou 년 전 +5

    5:43
    "That's a nice argument, senator. Why don't you back it up with a source?"
    "My source is that I made it the fuck up."

  • @tinkywinkygaming62
    @tinkywinkygaming62 3 년 전 +2368

    "Wives wanna eat their husbands."
    Female spiders: I mean-

  • @arushalapati
    @arushalapati 3 년 전 +4214

    No ones talking about how a husband has a wife with a report card

    • @egnsc1761
      @egnsc1761 3 년 전 +77

      😏😏

    • @Gray-ve9qt
      @Gray-ve9qt 3 년 전 +432

      *BANG BANG BANG* FBI OPEN UP

    • @arbuckle6103
      @arbuckle6103 3 년 전 +110

      The “wife” must still be a child.

    • @trashdragon7
      @trashdragon7 3 년 전 +83

      Maybe it's old?

    • @cosifish6341
      @cosifish6341 3 년 전 +22

      Well lucky no children get report cards before the 1st grade. It's ok if it's above that

  • @Mirrored33
    @Mirrored33 6 개월 전 +6

    One thing I love about Danny and his channel is that he is always neutral, kind, and funny. Not only him though, the gregs in the comments are the same way and that’s why I love this community💗

  • @bruhbruh4203
    @bruhbruh4203 11 개월 전 +8

    9:16 the “no weakness” means you won’t get dizzy and stuff not no weaknesses

  • @krysimp.
    @krysimp. 3 년 전 +683

    Ah yes. The three genders:
    -Kids
    -Men
    -Legends

  • @nikolaiestrella6785
    @nikolaiestrella6785 3 년 전 +4392

    "Raisin water" is one of the single most disgusting phrases I've ever heard.

    • @Asherg0723
      @Asherg0723 3 년 전 +106

      Nikolai Estrella I literally vomited when I heard raisin water, I am being serious, I don’t mean figuratively.

    • @Jensenrobinb
      @Jensenrobinb 3 년 전 +54

      Wine is disgusting

    • @suolva8742
      @suolva8742 3 년 전 +21

      yes , grapes are G r o s s

    • @kantermorris3420
      @kantermorris3420 3 년 전 +43

      Blood purification sound like a kinky marketing campaign

    • @nessa3025
      @nessa3025 3 년 전 +21

      *insert bratz ew scene*

  • @rosebuds23
    @rosebuds23 8 개월 전 +10

    when you’re allergic to almonds
    *panic*

  • @sylvydraws
    @sylvydraws 3 개월 전 +4

    sometimes when im sad i get 5 almonds and say "5 almonds daily no cancer" and eat them. truely this video has changed my life. thank you, danny gorpzolaz

  • @arls8096
    @arls8096 3 년 전 +3719

    I'm more concerned on why his wife *is still getting school report cards*

  • @decrypto5571
    @decrypto5571 3 년 전 +1141

    - “Five almonds daily no cancer”
    - *proceeds to show a picture of six almonds*

    • @phud420
      @phud420 3 년 전 +51

      The account is fake. Five almonds daily no cancer, six almonds daily yes cancer

    • @abic9048
      @abic9048 3 년 전 +13

      TheDecryptedDude that means extra cancer

    • @fufumad1688
      @fufumad1688 3 년 전 +3

      I saw that too I’m-

    • @DanielleMamaril
      @DanielleMamaril 3 년 전 +7

      Five almonds ensure you don’t have cancer. Six ensure your immortality. They’re just watching out for us.

    • @hansfranz8795
      @hansfranz8795 3 년 전 +1

      Same with the dates - talks about four, shows a picture of five

  • @lightabeloth1600
    @lightabeloth1600 년 전 +11

    1:30 lions are the biggest exception to this ignoring the fact they don't love each other

  • @PhenomenonAnimates
    @PhenomenonAnimates 2 개월 전 +2

    Dude i love danny gonzalez videos ngl ive watched like every single one on furious and this one im truly greg

  • @TheClonetruper
    @TheClonetruper 3 년 전 +2576

    So no one is going to mention the fact that “wife” got a report card? Who’s wife still gets a school report card? Is this a child bride scenario?

    • @abheekdhara9852
      @abheekdhara9852 3 년 전 +133

      I think it meant previous report card

    • @TheKinety
      @TheKinety 3 년 전 +183

      Yeah that had me confused. Like I can understand maybe the wife is a college student. But why is the college grading her behavior? And to who, her husband? wtf lol

    • @nonewem5180
      @nonewem5180 3 년 전 +45

      Yeah that was uncomfy to read

    • @TheClonetruper
      @TheClonetruper 3 년 전 +17

      Abheek Dhara did it? Are we positive of this? I’m not sure man. Still just a little off-put. Actually still a lot off-put.

    • @jennaeevee7115
      @jennaeevee7115 3 년 전 +42

      These people got married in the 3rd grade apparently

  • @valx5
    @valx5 3 년 전 +2968

    “ they should try making raisins that have the water built into them.
    that would be *G R A P E* “

  • @morganwitkop4336
    @morganwitkop4336 5 개월 전 +4

    This was the first video I ever saw of Danny's and I'm rediscovering this years later and it's highly nostalgic

  • @DarrellerraD125
    @DarrellerraD125 년 전 +24

    11:49 ?*NAH I JUAT EAT 4 DATES DAILY

  • @ishikabhingarde2913
    @ishikabhingarde2913 3 년 전 +1388

    “wives wanna eat their husbands.” so that’s where my dad went

  • @luisoflbcmediareviews4907

    My friend ate 3 almonds a day. He died of cancer. Should have eaten 4. You’re Welcome.

    • @lillygun3690
      @lillygun3690 3 년 전 +29

      Luis of LBC Media Reviews but why didn’t he just turn back into a baby?

    • @goldlara2475
      @goldlara2475 3 년 전 +47

      @@lillygun3690 that only works if you eat 2

    • @inkstain3562
      @inkstain3562 3 년 전 +33

      smh i hate hearing preventable deaths like this it always makes me cry

    • @KamilDeKerel
      @KamilDeKerel 3 년 전 +10

      No 5, 4 are for heart diseases so he still would have died

    • @chromerudolf8502
      @chromerudolf8502 3 년 전 +3

      Goldlara 24 it says 2-3

  • @rustic_dweller
    @rustic_dweller 11 개월 전 +6

    7:23 he missed the fact that if we make up shit we're legends

  • @colonmitsurobi1624
    @colonmitsurobi1624 11 개월 전 +4

    I love watching Drew's videos! So funny. Hope his nutcracker doesn't kill him tho.

  • @cryptid221
    @cryptid221 3 년 전 +1014

    The “5 almond daily no cancer” picture actually has 6 almonds

  • @ava5118
    @ava5118 3 년 전 +2151

    “Wife is wife, no matter who you are”
    -one laughter please

  • @notacrow6286
    @notacrow6286 2 개월 전 +4

    I love how for the 5 almonds daily there are 6 almonds

  • @justanotheridiot6419
    @justanotheridiot6419 9 개월 전 +2

    'How girls sit-'
    Ad: MR CLEAN MULTI SURFACE LIQUID CLEANER-

  • @scabillis
    @scabillis 3 년 전 +3568

    What if Danny just kept switching around the g’s in “Greg” and we just had no idea.

    • @RyanTosh
      @RyanTosh 3 년 전 +260

      Why did you have to,,,why would you even...how could...wat

    • @deereye87
      @deereye87 3 년 전 +202

      I didn’t want to have this thought in my brain.

    • @mariah_the_mnm2053
      @mariah_the_mnm2053 3 년 전 +98

      Don’t f up my brain more than quaran math has already

    • @2012Zyle
      @2012Zyle 3 년 전 +130

      how do we know if any of those letters are the same? What if he has an extra set of every letter and swaps them out between videos...

    • @swordingthefirst6094
      @swordingthefirst6094 3 년 전 +70

      Whats up greG

  • @watakashe6072
    @watakashe6072 3 년 전 +4432

    There was no “THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW” and it feels s o wrong

    • @MercuryCat
      @MercuryCat 3 년 전 +419

      We can sing it ourselves:
      “THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW (OVER NOW)”

    • @watakashe6072
      @watakashe6072 3 년 전 +370

      Amanda Slocomb
      SO GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO WATCH(or just watch this video)

    • @sashayaway4215
      @sashayaway4215 3 년 전 +323

      I know we’ve had a lot of fun!

    • @geekyrain5746
      @geekyrain5746 3 년 전 +323

      Opal O'Neill (a lot of fun) BUT YOU CANT STAY ON THIS ENDSCREEN FOREVER

    • @maygel
      @maygel 3 년 전 +300

      @@geekyrain5746 (NO)
      THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW
      (OVER NOW)

  • @sapphosgirlfriend
    @sapphosgirlfriend 17 일 전 +1

    "have you had your laughter yet?" gets me everytime lmao

  • @medinirajan5702
    @medinirajan5702 년 전 +9

    Danny calling Alia Bhatt a 'nice looking young girl' lmaoo

  • @caspian4316
    @caspian4316 3 년 전 +2107

    “read his wife’s report card” Is this hypothetical man’s wife in high school or something??? Ew???

    • @iliketoeatbatteries8122
      @iliketoeatbatteries8122 3 년 전 +110

      bruh moment or like, elementary school *sadly cringing*

    • @user-cd2uh1ds2o
      @user-cd2uh1ds2o 3 년 전 +54

      Um I think it’s her old report card

    • @mani-png
      @mani-png 3 년 전 +24

      probably in like uni or sth (some older women go back to uni to finish their degree don't they?)

    • @user-cd2uh1ds2o
      @user-cd2uh1ds2o 3 년 전 +3

      mani older women and men

    • @mani-png
      @mani-png 3 년 전 +23

      @@user-cd2uh1ds2o yes yes of course
      guys, gals and non binary pals

  • @kitkatmeowzie3226
    @kitkatmeowzie3226 3 년 전 +692

    "jonny jonny"
    "yes papa"
    "eating 30 almonds"
    "yes papa"
    "telling lies?"
    "no papa"
    "get on the scale"
    "ha"

    • @redmantis.
      @redmantis. 3 년 전 +22

      Johny would probably turn into a fetus right away from eating that many almonds. He would be invincible, though!

    • @geckoszn
      @geckoszn 3 년 전 +8

      ONE LAUGHTER PER DAY JOHNNY

    • @AdanSn23
      @AdanSn23 3 년 전 +1

      @Magnum Dong refrigerators are refrigerators no matter who you are

    • @ImADeity
      @ImADeity 3 년 전

      fun fact, almonds contain cyanide. 30 would kill him

    • @rosieeeee3587
      @rosieeeee3587 3 년 전

      Kitkatmeowzie :3 this is the best comment ha

  • @lilyfitzgerald8971
    @lilyfitzgerald8971 2 개월 전 +2

    This video gives old man who takes everything literally and I’m thriving from it (I went over the laughter limit )

  • @blackdragonrandomness3989

    me as a legend: *writing down "carrot" when my math sheet asks what 4+5=*

  • @h.sm222
    @h.sm222 3 년 전 +8544

    “Let’s together healthy” is definitely a billion surprise toys song

  • @therealsharktime
    @therealsharktime 3 년 전 +4807

    Had to stop after 3 minutes. I had one laughter. I Couldn't have any more.

    • @iamme3941
      @iamme3941 3 년 전 +151

      Daily dose of laughter. Hashtag laughter. Ha.

    • @PickleMansLawyer
      @PickleMansLawyer 3 년 전 +34

      One laughter*

    • @KitKatPadsta
      @KitKatPadsta 3 년 전 +27

      Thomas had seen it all.
      He now could live in peace and finally rest.

    • @eidechsearts
      @eidechsearts 3 년 전 +9

      Same, ha

    • @wxrthz
      @wxrthz 3 년 전 +14

      good job. only one laughter remember

  • @lesbianaxolotl6671

    Let’s get healthy
    Me: eating an entire sleeve of ritz crackers
    7:38

  • @lilacfantasy4
    @lilacfantasy4 년 전 +4

    I laughed more than once because I'm just a rebel like that. I live on the edge

  • @CGZ26
    @CGZ26 3 년 전 +11797

    I can confirm the "5 daily almonds, no cancer". My mom did it and she had no cancers.
    My brother is a Gemini and I'm a Leo.

    • @ava.marian
      @ava.marian 3 년 전 +295

      Lmao this deserves more likes
      Edit: holy shit as soon as I said that it got like 600 more likes
      Edit 2: FUCKING 1,500
      BRUH IT HAD 25 LIKES WHEN I POSTED THIS COMMENT ORIGINALLY 😂😂😂❤❤

    • @brooke7656
      @brooke7656 3 년 전 +264

      that is a deadly combo

    • @fantasma0408
      @fantasma0408 3 년 전 +31

      What's your birthday?

    • @arosnn
      @arosnn 3 년 전 +73

      same with my mom, i’m a gemini and my sister is a sagittarius

    • @FIREcrochethairstyles
      @FIREcrochethairstyles 3 년 전 +19

      Brilliant

  • @aunnaw7134
    @aunnaw7134 3 년 전 +11005

    damn, times are so tough that they’re rationing out laughter now

  • @joebanana3386
    @joebanana3386 년 전 +6

    i laughed more at danny in the fitness section then the laughter part

  • @Ether_the_puppet
    @Ether_the_puppet 11 개월 전 +2

    Your videos make me happy, and make my 1 missing assignment become 257 missing assignments

  • @artsmart203
    @artsmart203 3 년 전 +1010

    Everybody: grape juice
    Me, an intellectual: *raisin water*

  • @emmamagdalene1713
    @emmamagdalene1713 3 년 전 +680

    This is why I’m lesbian, because I’m not really into cannibalism.

  • @kiralipn
    @kiralipn 년 전 +1

    I had just been watching Danny Gonzalez out of context videos while playing a game on my phone and after the last one ended this one started playing. It took me (no joke) 8 minutes to realize this wasn't another Danny out of context video.

  • @curiouscollective8572
    @curiouscollective8572 3 개월 전 +1

    I have not laughed so loud in a long ass time. Thank you for the 1 laughter. It was highly appreciated.

  • @destinee7326
    @destinee7326 3 년 전 +904

    “They should make raisins with the water built into them..”
    “That would be grape”

    • @skittles212
      @skittles212 3 년 전 +30

      This is the best pun of 2020. I'm calling it

    • @zacandashleys1fan
      @zacandashleys1fan 3 년 전 +24

      Yes... that was the joke he was making... but he didn’t say grape... he only implied it... which made it funny...

    • @evanolivo8822
      @evanolivo8822 3 년 전 +2

      Actually made me laugh😂

    • @nehan.5797
      @nehan.5797 3 년 전 +4

      lexicon jordan no its bc grape sounds like great silly

    • @EvilKermit21
      @EvilKermit21 3 년 전 +2

      it was best laugh ha

  • @brendankern6518
    @brendankern6518 3 년 전 +507

    Come come kids, let’s together healthy

  • @17raysplays29
    @17raysplays29 6 개월 전 +2

    You know what, I *do* put a lot of thought into how many "ha"s I use, and I'm not going to be ashamed of it anymore!

  • @makingastardestroyer3066

    Your last sentences pushed me in PTSD hard. Since a DMT trip 2 years ago, these kinda concepts haunt me all the time. Thanks!

  • @osteopod2053
    @osteopod2053 3 년 전 +753

    Murderer: *Kills me*
    Me: That wasn't very *four dates* of you.

  • @GhostSquid21
    @GhostSquid21 2 개월 전 +4

    I accidentally used 2 laughter now everybody has to use 2 laughter

  • @Dollsstrangecorner

    10:19 I thought…you were already Danny?…Am I in the wrong place again?

  • @incognitoburrito7458
    @incognitoburrito7458 3 년 전 +1448

    Friend: hey, I think you should stop smoking, you can get cancer you know
    Me: That’s okay, I eat 5 almonds

    • @ignoremelol2576
      @ignoremelol2576 3 년 전 +56

      Don’t do that you know....
      Eating 5 almonds is not enough you must eat *6* you f*cking disgrace

    • @gryffindornim
      @gryffindornim 3 년 전 +12

      STEVE NGUYEN no 8 silly

    • @gryffindornim
      @gryffindornim 3 년 전 +10

      Starrynight oh i forgot!! (And your a f*cking dumbass it’s ♾

    • @TSDTalks22
      @TSDTalks22 3 년 전 +7

      Starrynight these people are all idiots, obviously you need to eat 5 peanuts, not almonds

    • @gryffindornim
      @gryffindornim 3 년 전 +1

      TSD Tom oh yeah your right

  • @sleepingrepurr6317
    @sleepingrepurr6317 3 년 전 +1780

    "what'd you eat today?
    oh yknow, the usual, raisin water for breakfast, an apple, thirty almonds, a lemon, a glass of milk, four dates, and I prayed to god

    • @wetsocks8378
      @wetsocks8378 3 년 전 +31

      the pic has 6 almonds fbi open up

    • @Rockmint
      @Rockmint 3 년 전 +81

      My favorite food.
      *Praying to God*

    • @jamies4775
      @jamies4775 3 년 전 +2

      its says 123 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    • @jungsushi6447
      @jungsushi6447 3 년 전 +1

      @@wetsocks8378 13:43

    • @hellworm
      @hellworm 3 년 전 +22

      *i ate god*

  • @AngleFunMelt
    @AngleFunMelt 년 전 +2

    12:33 I just opened this video to continue watching it and this is the first thing I see

  • @BenicioDelgado956
    @BenicioDelgado956 3 년 전 +2770

    I’m not gonna lie, I had two laughters. I’m sorry

  • @Maddie-fu6vd
    @Maddie-fu6vd 3 년 전 +2182

    9:04
    Lactose intolerant people: guys my bones are getting squishy

  • @rollinsomethingbutiforgot

    When Danny says "whats up Greg?"
    I really feel it on a personal level
    And I look back at the screen
    And say "what's up Greg"
    That sounded so much more deep before I typed it out

  • @khloryne
    @khloryne 년 전 +1

    i always come to this video when im bored, this is by FAR my favorite video on youtube.

  • @Nick-nh5cr
    @Nick-nh5cr 3 년 전 +518

    Husband got shocked while reading his wife’s report card
    1.Pee in her mouth
    2.DIVORCE

  • @aviellesmyslov4094
    @aviellesmyslov4094 3 년 전 +596

    “Let’s together healthy” sounds like a billion surprise toy song

  • @PersonMayExist
    @PersonMayExist 14 일 전 +3

    man, I really want to see one of those reality shows where its like a bunch of people forced to be roommates or whatever, but its Michael Jordan, Gandhi, and George Washington. That would be epic.

  • @samsamisasamsam
    @samsamisasamsam 9 개월 전 +1

    this video is pure gold for those out of context compilations

  • @cleanwater5665
    @cleanwater5665 3 년 전 +734

    Fun fact: Jesus was crucified but came back 3 days later as he had eaten 4 dates during the last supper.

  • @darthontheviking7592
    @darthontheviking7592 3 년 전 +794

    “They should try making raisins with the water built into them... That would be grape.” Killed me.

    • @atara500
      @atara500 3 년 전 +14

      I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT LMAOAOAOAOOA

    • @hackysack5046
      @hackysack5046 3 년 전 +4

      Probably should have followed the advice then huh

    • @AD-cy4vj
      @AD-cy4vj 3 년 전 +3

      Literally a grape

  • @RareRex27
    @RareRex27 년 전 +3

    WAIT WAIT GUYS WAIT THEY SAID SOMETHING RIGHT HERE
    The position their talking about at 11:39 actually works for constipation or gas, I swear it’s instant relief when i do it

    • @RareRex27
      @RareRex27 년 전 +1

      Except you dont do it 10 times in a row just hold the position

  • @MB-eb9ed
    @MB-eb9ed 9 개월 전 +2

    I did actually get a breast cancer imaging test done today. I’m cancer free. Holy shit did these posts come in clutch 🔥

  • @dandna1685
    @dandna1685 3 년 전 +2022

    plot twist, danny is actually 80 years old but looks young cuz he eats 30 almonds a day

    • @HenkaG
      @HenkaG 3 년 전 +3

      He’s like 25 tho

    • @wolfeevi
      @wolfeevi 3 년 전 +66

      @@HenkaG No he’s 80 did you not read the comment

    • @HenkaG
      @HenkaG 3 년 전 +39

      @@wolfeevi sorry I think I was drunk when I commented this

    • @mothma_am
      @mothma_am 3 년 전 +23

      @@HenkaG we love a responsible king/queen/royal

    • @imayawaya
      @imayawaya 3 년 전 +8

      why does danny look ginger in this video

  • @Maya-ub4cb
    @Maya-ub4cb 3 년 전 +921

    But the “5 almond Daily No Cancer,” picture has 6 almonds.

    • @chinghaching5352
      @chinghaching5352 3 년 전 +40

      No, Almonds have six eyes

    • @therealmanguyman
      @therealmanguyman 3 년 전 +38

      **Confused Screaming**

    • @cq.cumber_offishial
      @cq.cumber_offishial 3 년 전 +18

      Extra healthy, how do healthy extra? This is do how indeed;
      Step 1: hibfhukbchiubdewiuyviguavgyvajhvqugvcjdguvukhb fvijobesfijobhhvkcviuhsxvukhvkugxczvwuhvkuyvqukhkuuhabqhbhilaqbkhiqljinjiqqnkjlnsjiosdpsdpdwhcbkjhabqobkjbodvaboihqsdcbuoheqbfvuheavfbohuvfenijwrvfmvkchidnhidvbhfvbugfheguwegohiheiuhbsueuhyrhuyrurikbcihvxgcdiljleihouhsdkuhcvhukvdbsaouhbsadhuovihcbvbhvzhubdlinjonvojnvkvllplhwkvhhbdeuhbvfuhbfvhujrfbygdfugyudfgiyguyidgifdgiyucgdiuyvxugvztvAytviiytqvgiyqiuuqwgviwguvigudwbuihdfvbiuhbdgwboiunvewvkflpfdwoiwiu UH ieoskvfjpokfb,okpewpowoqekwwefkjbvefuiwnieuwfowelfjovbhousdbcowhusbhuowbuhivew uih weigh. Ewuohniohwvhoiewufhouiwhoi.
      Step 2: cbhuibcygibyguvaugyvygvauvyguvquyuhjsdsvdfibrefhiobdfwiuhvcewfiuhgvweiuybfpdpdokxbhiuywbdocahvceduhbewfiuhbweihubvfewuivevfuigvwdfiyubewfvuiywbvefuhivbwfehuiALMONDjrjvjlnjbuihviuhsbhiubjuvjgubhuicbihubdchkubduhkwbkhuwdksdiiuqhqjbahibvuiphhcepwopweijcbiodbfwhiobaegewfghfrhiobfruiobfrhiobwehiobowihefbiuh bhukwvbkhuwoiqbDRINKMILKqbldjiblwiehdbckiheqbueakhbufkhfebkuh.
      Step 3: done

    • @starriyana
      @starriyana 3 년 전 +4

      Lazaro Izquierdo I’m still fat

    • @cq.cumber_offishial
      @cq.cumber_offishial 3 년 전 +4

      Arisavageee oh, you did the not do step 3; you have to "done", as in the action do!

  • @adwitiyaganguly4571

    not Danny calling Alia Bhatt "a nice looking young girl" 😭 idk why that made me laugh so much

  • @AngelsPrefer_Yae
    @AngelsPrefer_Yae 2 개월 전 +2

    “raisins that have the water in them” GRAPES

  • @taeliaspencer4845
    @taeliaspencer4845 3 년 전 +2040

    Danny has been eating almonds and that’s why he looks so young. He has already begun his Benjamin button journey

  • @ohwowie8745
    @ohwowie8745 3 년 전 +2056

    "Anything else you want to say, Edward?" King Henry growled, leaning back in his throne. The pathetic boy in the guillotine had no expression. He knew this would happen eventually.
    There was silence. The king always knew Edward was the quiet type, even during his execution. Who knew stealing from his old friend would blow up in his face like this.
    "Very well then." The king glanced at the executioner, nodding his head and confirming it was time to let go of the rope.
    The blade came down. The crowd went silent.
    Edward's head was still on his body. He looked fine. In fact, he was smiling. Had it not worked?
    "What is the meaning of this?!" Henry sneered, standing up and walking towards his enemy.
    Edward's face held the same smile as he looked the king in the eyes.
    *"I ate 4 dates."*
    Don't ask why I spent time on this

  • @Totally_Bonkers
    @Totally_Bonkers 3 개월 전 +1

    "that would be grape" is the best joke i've heard all day

  • @hadsyjiama9010
    @hadsyjiama9010 10 개월 전 +2

    I feel like the seagull sign is photoshopped since the drawn bird's shape is oddly simular to the real bird's shape. Like someone cut out the real bird and painted it black

  • @AndiDag
    @AndiDag 3 년 전 +1291

    Boomer memes: I hate my wife
    Millennial memes: I hate my life
    Gen Z: roomba with a knife

    • @thatoneperson4682
      @thatoneperson4682 3 년 전 +9

      Dank Freshness i wanna like but i can’t because it’s at exactly 100 ;-;

    • @thatoneperson4682
      @thatoneperson4682 3 년 전 +12

      Reddit Tea Respecc

    • @valx5
      @valx5 3 년 전 +16

      “Melenial”

    • @MrShifty1
      @MrShifty1 3 년 전 +2

      The fuck does this have to do with the video

    • @crypticcorgi8280
      @crypticcorgi8280 3 년 전 +8

      Not to be a contrarian. But I have seen the Roomba "meme" (not really a format) in video format in the early 2000's unless Gen Z made comprehensive memes at like age 5, I doubt it is really a Gen Z meme.