The Real Life 34 Year Old Virgin
소스 코드
- 게시일 2017. 08. 09.
- Skippy and his mom do their best to put an end to his virginity
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Theme Song by MajorLeagueWobs:
/ strangeholder
Remix from the end by EchoRobot:
/ great-moves-keep-it-up - 엔터테인먼트
![[#무도] 아주 까~아아아암짝❗ 놀랄만한 명수의 이해력에 답답해 죽는 준하🤣 보너스 형 명수의 수난시대💦 '숫자 야구' 2편 MBC130209방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PhZRdWr6GyA/mqdefault.jpg)
"If I ask nicely, can I pleeeeeease just give you a kiss?"
How was she not dripping wet after that smooth line?!?
dude idek
Ikr?? Even I was
artsy poodle these hoes ain’t loyal
just goes to show women HATE guys who are nice
someone's gonna take my comment serious
@@nGUNNARp Someone already did 😂
"Wanna dance!?"
**gives her the heimlich maneuver** 😂
I fell over lauging
”can I be big spoon?”
*proceeds to break her bottom two ribs*
This comment is gold 😂👏
Imagine being the little Mongolian child who had to make a shirt that says “I made out with skippy for 3 minutes”
regular borgar LMAO
Loool
I'm mongolian and I'm terrified
This is the funniest thing I think I've read
Sad it's probably true
I can only imagine the horror if you hit that basement with a black light
I didn’t think about that
Chillingsworth since she doesn’t know the location of things she’s going to basically be in a maze 😂
Oh nawww
you'll be blinded by the entire basement glowing
Hit That do u not get the comment
That poor girl was so uncomfortable.
Which one?
Crash Bandicoot all the girls.
imagine how cool she must be to have gone so far with that alien...that's one nice girl ruined
God it was so cringe...bless her heart bruh
Giddo all of them
"I showed you my belly button lint, please respond"
Hahahaha 🤣🤣
@Forbidden Archives does pubes coun
I thought my life was cringe back int he day...but this is over 9000. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, but there is something wrong with why you are a virgin - this guy is cringe omg...I pity him. He needs to change drastically - loose weight, socialize, buy better close and...omg the bellybutton lint....that cant be cured....
Plot twist: Skippy’s jar of belly button lint is from all of his victims
Oh wtf
Oh god
bro....
He's saving the best one's for marriage locked in the basement, left aging like a fine wine.
M. Night, you gotta chill
When he was begging her for a kiss, I could not force myself to watch.. That is some powerful cringe buddy.
It was coma Inducing
I still can’t finish it
He was breathing so heavily and you could see the desperation in his eyes. It was terrible.
Poor poor girl
Thats actual trauma for the girl. Maan if i were a girl i would have punched him.
Part 2: Skippy discovers pornhub
JellyBeanSquid hahahahahahahaha😂😂😂
JellyBeanSquid bruhhh
Part 3: Skippy's dick falls off
"what kind of sorcery is this" - Aladeen after discovering how to fap
mom stands in the corner of the room and nods in aproval.
"Over here is my belly button lint collection"
And with that, I'm out.
Are you kidding!? That was the kinkiest part of the video, that is a scientific fact.
Yuck
And for those reasons I'm out
What's a belly button lint?
Secret Agent Randy Beans the stuff that gets stuck in your belly button hole thingy when u don’t clean it after a while
Skippy is now 42 has he lost it yet?
Update: no
g00sE poor guy. Imagine never experiencing the best thing in life.
@@lolsudjr.4772 ehhhh lol
He needs to learn how to social interact properly. Cause I guarentee it's not the way he looks, but how pushy he is with women. If I'm with a guy and he starts acting the way skippy did, or anything similar to begging and pushing for something like a kiss, I drop him so fucking fast because I hate that shit so much. If I'm uncomfortable, I'm not kissing you so don't keep begging like a child.
jinks you’re right. The problem of his behavior isn’t his self confidence because he has enough of that. That’s what makes it hard for me to give him advice because usually it’s the self confidence that’s stopping ppl from getting together
42?
at first i was like “he’s pretty weird but i could see someone finding it endearing” but then it got to the lint part and i was like “oh”
Well surely SURELY there's a women out there that does the same... But I bet skippy wouldn't think she's pretty enough
and how about after sharing his bellybutton lint collection, he BEGS her for a kiss, and when she says no, instead of respecting her feelings and her decision, he gets visibly irritated. He expected it because he bought her pizza and gave her flowers and looked like a gift as well. In other words, he thinks buying her things (that she didn't ask for) gives him the right to a kiss (even though he really thought it entitled him to sex). In his mind, it's not a mutual feeling, it's a business transaction. Super fucking creepy.
If you make a whole clothing line based around your virginity, you have created a financial incentive to not get laid.
trav v Penis
Oh wow I just realized my comment was pretty popular. @@thecloverboi
trav v yeah, I need sleep
Clean your benis. @@thecloverboi
Nice
"This is my belly button lint collection"
**God has left the realm.**
bruh im dead
😂😂😂
Dude XD lol I'm going to poop on ur face
hey man im not into that type of that stuff xD
I would like but it's at 666
That's literally his personality: "34-year old Virgin."
Dude that is putting it it lightly. That gut has the mind of a fucking 13 year old. I'd feel bad for his parents, but I gotta expect that they were super over-protective or something like that, because he is remarkably socially inept.
@@user-hdhdhhdhdhsnjdjdjdioowj I see your point. Thanks for the feedback!
If he loses it, his personality is now 34 year old belly button lint collector.
"A guy wanting to kiss a girl on the first date shouldn't be a shock to a cute girl!"
A girl wanting to _not_ kiss a guy on the first date shouldn't be a shock to a guy who keeps a belly-button lint collection, and who also needs his elderly mom to "wrangle in the cute girls", what with all the "personality" that's just oozing out of him.
I low-key just wanna bully the fuck out of him
okay okay same
@@chillisauce3492 same :)
honestly if my dude skippy painted that shit green he could pull off calling it a weed jar
@@chillisauce3492 I mean I feel like bullying is progressive to an extent. Maybe this guy has been so sheltered he has no real concept of reality. Maybe he needs to be bullied to realize how/why he's so fucked up.
In another dimension
Skippy met Hila and got married and began making videos about weird stuff on the internet ... one of them is about this 34 year old virgin called Ethan
The dimension where the world fucking ended
@Hollow Shell And in that dimension there's a comment by a guy named Filled Inside.
@@chupacabra9357 i see what you did there 😂
And that virgin ethan keeps coughing
And that kids, is called hell
"I'm a creep, here's my merch."
LMAO
I roined ur 69 likes
Skippy singing at the party "Im a creep, Im a weirdo, what the hell am I ding here, I dont belong here". But seriously, hes a nice guy, but needs a reality check - loose the goody guy act, grow the beardm or shave the tiny shit hes grown on the face, get some nicer glasses and clothes or contacts lenses and definityl lose weight or work out and try to be more presentable.
Just like Jake Paul :)
I guess he did make a Jake Paul video after all his complaining.
He’s so weird and creepy, that we all skipped over the fact his name is ‘Skippy’
Wait a second, that’s his real name and not a nickname??
Cathal Curran idk, but it’s weird even as a nickname
Because he skipped all the sexes others could have.
And the fact that he has a poster of The Osmonds!
Scott Jessop is his real name. Skippy is like a childhood name or something that he kept even to adulthood.
I wonder how much TLC paid that chic to go to his basement for pizza.
😂😂😂
Not enough I'll tell you that 🤣
they gave her pizza, what else does she need?
@@isobelweir6965 a boyfriend
Not a nice guy
That was my guess or she's a wannabe actress and just wanted to get some time in front of the camera.
"This is my belly button lint collection"
*jazz music stops*
Nudist beach splendid naked officer lmao I read your comment as it was playing.
Wtf man who has that
*Jazz music intensifies*
Nudist beach splendid naked officer what's belly button lint collection???
You dont wanna know trust me
Yea... that's where my confusion as to why he was a virgin went way
Dude, Skippy's mom just creepily standing in the doorway watching to see if her son seals the deal is somehow even worse than Skippy himself
Yeah 😕
At least now we know where he gets it from
Apple didn't fall far from the tree...
@@crazyjoedavola5430 Well tbf his mom got laid
@@Tecolote41 probably once 😂
Begging for a kiss will dry a woman up like a dry water park ride in summer.
I mean you can just buy women, I don't know why he didn't do that
kailash shanker tiwari I think that’s “talk to Bishop” naughty.
@@SilverstoneTrace lmao 😀
Idk some women like being begged though
😅😅😅
Although skippy is calling his mom “weird” at least she had sex
*least*
Pomple Dude nah fam,
*L E A S E D*
R/Woooosh
@@lorenzosanga5880 what
@@sneksez6722 whoosh meaning you didnt get the joke so if it's at me then I'm preparing an electric chair
"I dont kiss on the first date"
Yes you do... just not that guy.
Alana BananaCanada can i pleaaaaase kiss you
@@xakips no.
My GF doesn't like to kiss at all, she says she doesn't feel comfortable with that, even with her old boyfriend, yet we get along very well and sex is great for both of us.
@@Carpatouille Thanks for sharing lol
She probably gives ass but not a kiss for my nigga Skippy
Clearly Skippy does not watch Prankinvasion
Lol
chicly That's pretty clear. Otherwise he would be going to Venice beach and being like "today is creepy virginity loss day" and fucking like crazy just like chris.
He is not a invader
my boy needs to hit up expert village
The fact that he has a neon green shirt that says "Nice Guy" is just the cherry on top of the cake. I'm losing my shit right now, this is too good
“I’m a creep; here’s my merch”
Honestly I love that
I thought I was immune to cringe at this point but this just brought it all back
It's so bad. I just can't fuckin do it. It's too much cringe.
I feel like the only reason Stephanie went on a date with him was because she felt bad for him
Follower Of Duck I think she took the date was she knew it was gonna be on tv.
I've done the same. She's clearly uncomfortable and not attracted to him at all
@@imonarollagay Yeah because at least she had a camera crew with her so she wouldn't be murdered by this guy lol. I think she's embarrassed of going on a date with him.
Nathan Wambolt bingo
No to be on tv
I just realized how perfect Ethan and Hila are together.
That cute girl did not deserve all that torture
Yeah if she wasn't cute she would
@@himlolo bruh...no PERSON in general deserves this torture
@@c3ru1ean41 i was just confused as to why cute was necessary
@@himlolo acknowledging cuteness in people is an issue for you?
Skippy made me uncomfortable on so many levels
The guy playing guitar was the one who smashed her. Not skippy.
And Skippy watched.
Afterwards, they all rolled up some blunts and got stoned.
It wasn't weed.
And with that, *I'M OUT*
@@mikulaskoncovka9961 never change bro
I feel so bad for his mom, why is he putting her through that
Clearly she is the reason he is the way he is. This should be shown to all women as an example of what happens without a dad in the house. It is clear, he has been too sheltered and never developed any social skills. She is the witch in hansel and gretel.
born free no..no no no skippy is the product of being given everything you want as a child/teen and not having to do anything for yourself. There are guys who turn out like this who have a very present dad, there are people who are the exact opposite who grow up in a single mother household. These type of people are the result of growing up without accountability or responsibility, it has nothing to do with a lack of male or female presence in a household
Yeah. Stupid cringey mon
Daisy it’s nothing to do with getting everything you wanted and having no responsibilities as a child. I was raised that way and I’m not even close to skippy.
It’s all about sheltering and helicopter parenting, bc my cousin was raised by an overprotective mom and has no gf or friends in his 30’s. He just can’t socialise properly with people.
Yeah I think it's overprotecting parents, lack of interaction and education about the opposite gender. Could also be due to being given everything as a child (especially if he's an only child) and general weirdness of fucking Mormonism.
God that women is a true warrior for going in there and coming out alive
God bless that poor girls heart.
350 likes but no comments
Pretty sure she agreed to the date, simply to get on Television.
Can't finish watching. Did she put out?
papa bless*
Fr, he straight up begged her and she's so uncomfortable but feels bad...uggghhh god it's so cringy
why doesnt he just tell them to play a quick rock paper scisors game for a kiss
i dont get it... smh
Cause it's not mommy makeout day duhh
dude it has to be mommy makeout day first lol
bazinga1602 mammy make out day is such a good day
HEY GUYS PRANKINVASUON HERE (if I Got the intro wrong then sorry I don't watch those cancerous vidZ) "CommentZ: Where's The Prank?!"
MOMMY MAKEOUT DAY!!!
The part when he walks into the party hurts real bad
Edit: The whole video hurts
It does, why would someone make this
He's the one friend who give advice about relationship but is himself single
I knew a kid named Skippy in middle school, he happened to be just like this one. It's a cursed name at this point
Skippy is a real name!?
How's it cursed, is more like a blessing
but what about l.a. beast, he calls himself skippy and his real name is kevin, but labeast is still god among the living
Wasn't Skippy a popular tv- kangaroo in the 70's, with its own show and everything? Got to look that up...JAM
doritodemon I knew a peanut butter jar named skippy, he never got laid
I never thought I'd cringe so much in my life...
gEck0 me neither
gEck0 Oh trust me, there's FAAR worse out there...
He's not quite as bad as Chris Chan
Its almost the end of 2017, is cringe even a valid word anymore? Fucking normies...
Feel'Ks ZhemDeygs wow so edgy
0:01
*That’s enough internet for today.*
Enough?! I need 10 hours version NOWWW
Look at my bellybutton lint collection..
Girl: (Zips down his pants)
You mean her pants or?
You could be the coolest guy in the world, but if your name is Skippy, you're done.
FACT
He should just go by "Skipward" like everyone else does
your name is Tommy...
Tommy Hare Twinsie’s
You know what is worse than Skippy?
Humphrey.
*N O N O N O N O, iT sAYs I kiSSeD sKIppY fOR 3 mInUTeS*
King B
*_T H R E E M I N U T E S , L I N D A !_*
If she wants that shirt she better pucker up them lips
*ｓｋｉｐｐａａａａａｙｙｙ*
This dude had been on TV before trying to find love when he was in his early 20s.. it’s kinda depressing how desperate this dude is, he’s in his 40s now, works as a pizza delivery guy and vlogs his dates.
No way, seriously? Does he have a channel?
Caroline Ramirez I am skippy
3:30 that music is literally from Sims 3
He hadn't lost his virginity because his merch wasn't selling like a God Church
Thomas Be Here nice
Thomas Be Here I CACKLED
No, he hadn't lost his virginity because his merch *was* selling like a God Church.
Wrong, his merch just wasn’t selling at church, hence the reason why he still hasn’t lost his virginity.
Ricegum reference. 👍🏽
"You wanna meet my mom?" Is my new pick up line
Joaquin Gaute 😂
Talk to the bishop is mine
How to lose a girl you just met in 1 sentence with no death or weird items.
That’s actually a legit quality line.
“I’m a creep.... here’s my merch.” 😂😂😂 I lost it.
i think should try a date with his mom, they are already perfect for eachother...
he literally doesn´t have a chance with any other girl in the world, because his mother already completely destroyed his beliefs in his own social skills
Why do documentaries use sims 3 music??
exactly my thought. don't know why nobody else pointed this out lmao
I'm so glad I wasn't the only one that caught that shit 😂😂😂
I think the real question is, why don't all documentaries use sims 3 music.
Probably because it's not originally composed for Sims 3, but that Sims purchased it from a music library.
I KNOW RIGHT
"Im a creep, here's my merch" *dead*
Your pic scared the shit outta me, it looks like a hairy cleavage
MissPronounced bruh what tf is hairy cleavage? Have you never seen a pussy before?
LolWut first I thought it was a hairy cleavage, then a pussy, then took a closer look
LolWut and I'm obviously a girl, why would you ask moronic questions like that 😂
MissPronounced idk you couldve been the bird in that picture for all I fuckin know
When he showed his belly button lint collection I was eating rice pudding with cinnamon and fuuuuuck that was nasty
Imagine showing up to a date, completely unwarned and you see this
At 8:32 the guitarist just loses it and starts laughing in the middle of the song
OH MY GOD xDD I thought that was the girl laughing! holy fuak xD Man I feel so sorry for that girl
I couldn't stop repeating it
IM GLAD YOU SAID THAT. i was like wait why doesnt ethan point that out am i seeing things wrong, i wonder if that was his friend or what...live entertainment sickkkkkk
Congratz on winning the court case
Q U I N T E S S E N T I A L
- is a virgin who gives out shirts to whoever girl he gets to kiss him
- has a "wing mom"
- has a belly button lint collection
*TLC really went all-out when writing his character. Awesome job TLC!*
"I'm a creep. Here's my merch dude" is such and underrated line.
This guy epitomizes the "but I'm a nice guy" mentality.
Hes gone far beyond that...
most "nice guy" don't keep a jar of belly button lint in their room though...
Hai Vu Hong yh, its disgusting
adrian Perez haha😂
give him a katana collection too
This definitely is an act
It has to be. For my own sanity.
MrHidden29 check out the h3 podcast with him in it. You will be devastated
it is 100% there is no way that girl would agree to go on a date with 'Skippy'
CCknows money
Met him in real life, he's kinda playing it up, but he is pretty weird, he lives on his own now though
I have met people worse than skippy so... he's not even the worst out there. Met a guy who was so alone that his birthday present to himself was a strip club.
really been enjoying rewatching h3h3 old videos, my favorite got to be their story about how they met. ethans message about saying yes to things you dont want to do because it may open doors, that piece of advice has really stuck by me since first viewing the video.
4:25 '' I was ready to f.........'' my man held back wisely there
He looks like a gone wrong clone of Justin Roiland.
He's like dumb Rick
Thomas under rated comment
best comment ever actually ever
This is an amazing comment. Thank you on behalf of all mankind
Robert van der Leeuw Lol
I farted on a girl the first time we hung out
That girl is now my wife.
Coincidence??
Samuel Piper found the best tactic
i need to try this.
Who else was expecting a hotel trivago joke
Samuel Piper yes, coincidence
But that's just a theory, a game theory
When you look like Skippy, you can't be bringing another man into your date.
Does Mr. President approve of this statement?
Also i think him and hila are the sweetest couple ever and how they look at each other makes me wanna cry it’s so beautiful
Wow, Hila was the real comedian in this video. Real progress back from the earlier videos where she was too shy to come on camera. Congrats dude
I know 😭 she's so cool now that we can see her personality
Yeah she's really cool. Great job Hila.
this is such an old meme to address
Haaris Sultan she has made huge progress, now I feel that she stands on equal foot with Ethan when it used to be him doing everything and her just adorably laughing. at the moment she is taking part in it, stating her opinion
Let me just dab on the haters for a second.
Watch out ladies there will be a major manspreading in the beggining of the video
ItzVince:P thanks for the warning
ItzVince:P REEEEEEEEEE I DIDN'T GET THE WARNING FAST ENOUGH REEEEEEEEEE
Awww I loved Ethans smile at the end! It was like so genuine!! Also I love u guys so so much keep it up❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Plot twist:
Skippy's wing mom is getting plowed by young bros in the bathroom while Skippy strikes out.
This should give everyone maximum amount of confidence. No matter how awful you have it, you don't have a Wingmom or give girls your own merch
Sean Meade are you 2017 buddha?
I know, right? Skippy is basically a physical representation of things you shouldn't do. Date in basement, wing-mom, beg for kisses, merch for being a kissless virgin, talking about making out with girls, and absolutely no real discussions outside of sex and shit. Like, only the lowest of the low can blow an opportunity like this. But after the bellybutton lint, I doubt it's actually real.
Sean Meade or belly button fluff
Jeffrey Dirts I think he's a living meme
Sean Meade At least I don't have a belly button lint collection
You wanna grind in my basement while my friend plays guitar
spoken like a true gentleman
Whole ass mood
*mom knocks on basement door and brings in drinks*
@@andrem4877 *and meatloaf*
@@OmarSlloum that's the most important dude.
honestly that little "slow dancing" part seems like something my friends and i would do if we were stoned out of our minds
tbh yeah that makes sense
Useless junkies.
@@himlolo ur dwelling utube comments bro ur beyond worthless
Hila is the only person that can make a zombie like me laugh out loud. She's low key a comedy genius.
Y'all mind if I.... WIN THE LAWSUIT
jericho4lie what law suit PLZ tell me
Niclas studio h3h3 got sued by Matt hoss for copyright infringement when it was really fair use.
WELL WELL WELL LOOK WHO WON
Mudkip not that old fat fuck it was our boy Ethan
Nathan Beck thats the point to the comment above mine lol
You can tell that his mother wants grandkids so bad.
Heroicsplendid you have a good stickers and put it out on the way back from the airport on Friday and I was talking to my friend who is a look when I'm done with this D the same boat I have been trying to take it out of the most beautiful thing to do with this one you sent I was talking to my mom about it and she said she would call you but I will be there at the same time I will be there at the same time I will be there at the same time I will be there at the same time and I will be at work tomorrow and Friday I have a few things to do and put it even if it was talking to
The Earth Is Not Flat what
The Earth Is Not Flat and she and she said she still has she has she has she has a chance to say what to say to say to say to say to get into a year a long term relationship that could lead that could lead that he didn't want me the price for used it was not brand of truth
I am very sensitive to cringe, so I've been watching this video as exposure to build up my tolerance
One of the best H3H3 Videos ever
The belly button lint is not his, it's the lint of all his victims.
DoubleAJA Solid.
DoubleAJA bruh.. that gunna make a great oscar winning storyline "500 Lints of My Prey"
DoubleAJA what's belly button lint
what's toe fungus
IT'S FUCKING FUNGUS ON YOUR TOE YOU IDIOT
The Red Wall no one mentioned toe fungus ?😂😂😂
Part 2 Skippy meets FilthyFrank
Drill2g this needs to happen
Frank'll show 'em how to get them ladiez
Theyd make a great baby.
That needs to happen 😂
He never specified who's belly button lint it was...
His own
My God, you're right... I wonder how many victims he has.
His mom is precious for doing all this for him
This guy needs a real time consuming and physically demanding job to occupy his time so he won't be so pent up and high energy and demanding on these dates. Like make Skippy dig ditches for 12 hours a day for a month and see what happens.
lmao wtf
Manatee Idol Or just any job to get out of the basement?
I work as a carpenter as this is actually spot on. Some days I don't even muster the urge to fap. #sad
well, at least he would know how to socialise with others. As far as I see, he doesn't have many friends.
i work as a photographer and most of the time i am free , but the job title does get you privileges
oh god. That's some serious cringe
Kinda depressing too..
I'm a hila kleiners
Mormons are kind like that. I've known mormon couples who get married like 3 months after meeting each other, just because they are so desperate to smash. Needless to say, those marriages never work out, and since mormons don't use any kind of birth control they always leave kids behind a broken and failed marriage.
actual internal screaming
god I literally cant even look at the screen as I'm typing this I'm listening I cant watch this without foaming at the mouth and seizing into oblivion
I find it so weird that Skippy opted to have the guy playing guitar there as opposed to turning on some music. From Skippy's most likely warped perspective that guy is competition. Idk if I'm making sense.
Honestly just the ending seeing Ethan clean shaved above the chin was the most surprising part
Nothing wrong with being a virgin, but there is something wrong with this guy.
yup
xD
Making all us other 34 year old virgins look bad smh
Good summary tbh
Amen
The cringe is too strong here boys, I've gotta leave
Kevin Nitzl ikr, this is worse than the cringelorsd Skreli lookalike.
Yeah I had to pause for a bit when he ate the pizza and those jars...
Bye, bye video.
People demanded h3h3 to go back to the old reaction videos, and now that a reaction video has returned, so has the cringe.
Did you just assume my gender
JK;
I like to revisit it from time to time. It remainds me of simpler times, I was so hopeful back then.
One of the most genuine channels on KRplus. Ethan is one of the boys
"I don't know how I'm still single" with a VIRGINITY ROCKS T SHIRT KAJEHWHHAHAHWHHAH
I'm a creep here's my merch
ellie higg And it's selling like a god church
666 likes \m/
777th like w00t
Lol it's funny because that was in the video
ellie higg the motto
The fact that a girl even went out with him gives me confidence
Anyone else back watching this after his sad display on the podcast
Let's be honest, the only reason Stephanie went on a date with him was just to get some camera time
Uzi B nah she wanted a shirt
Plus the belly button lint collection
I'd do it for a shirt if I were a chick.
TheXTutorialsx honestly, them shits are nice, ur probably right
Clout
And I thought I was bad with women.
ikr? This guy gives me hopehahah
Oh trust me m8, I'm a lot worse
Yeah dude.....here I am thinking that a 6 month dry spell is rough. This dude has a black belt in meat beating....
He makes any virgin want to lose it quick.
Tbh I think the only reason I'm not as bad as Skippy is because I don't even try
When Ethan was doing his ad read for dollar shave club he looked like Michael Schur when he played Mose in the office
“I’m a creep, here’s my merch” lmao noice