How I Left My Abusive (ex) Boyfriend

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  • 게시일 2018. 12. 06.
  • ▶Click SHOW MORE for helpful links. IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT MY STORY, see my pinned comment in the comment section.
    I USE:
    ▶ ToonBoom Harmony Premium - to animate
    ▶ Adobe Photoshop CC - backgrounds and thumbnail
    ▶ Cintiq 16 Pro - screen tablet (but I recommend basic cheap pen tablets from Wacom)
    STAY CONNECTED:
    ▶ my patreon: / illymation
    ▶ / illymation
    ▶ / illymation
    ▶ Information relating to this video:
    - Tea Consent by Blue Seat Studios
    • Tea Consent
    - The Vast Majority of Perpetrators Will Not Go to Jail or Prison
    www.rainn.org/statistics/crim...
    - Why do people stay in abusive relationships?
    www.gulfbend.org/poc/view_doc...
    ▶AM I BEING ABUSED?
    www.rainn.org/warning-signs
    www.loveisrespect.org/is-this...
    www.thehotline.org/is-this-ab...
    ▶I NEED HELP / SUPPORT
    www.thehotline.org/ - 24/7 calling and messages services
    psychologytoday.com/us/therap... - find a therapist in real life
    ▶I WANT TO HELP
    www.rainn.org/articles/your-r... - learn how to help
    www.loveisrespect.org/donate-... - donate to loveisrespect
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댓글 • 47K

  • @mehganlee3618
    @mehganlee3618 4 년 전 +5615

    *"I don't like that section of the mall anymore...."*
    I- God, bless your soul.

    • @acbghost4411
      @acbghost4411 4 년 전 +87

      mehgan lee was she raped or is that just me

    • @abcc7382
      @abcc7382 4 년 전 +172

      ACB Ghost
      I think she was raped

    • @spencervirens
      @spencervirens 4 년 전 +109

      @@abcc7382 I would say raped, but probably sexually harassed. It's a possibility though.

    • @hello_people5283
      @hello_people5283 4 년 전 +110

      @@acbghost4411 Yes, she didn't give consent.

    • @Nicole-id5ey
      @Nicole-id5ey 4 년 전 +73

      500 years in prison for him

  • @wizardfrog1572
    @wizardfrog1572 4 년 전 +16649

    Harris: I’m gonna jump off a building
    Me: do a backflip

  • @Emiithekitty
    @Emiithekitty 7 개월 전 +706

    As a victim of sexual assault I know how it feels to go through this. You are so brave to be sharing your story

    • @thatonespinster
      @thatonespinster 6 개월 전 +10

      im so sorry that happened, hoping for only the best for you in the future ❤

    • @moxxzui
      @moxxzui 6 개월 전 +4

      Omg I’m so sorry for you..

    • @slushiixoxo
      @slushiixoxo 5 개월 전 +3

      i hope you and illy r okay :C

    • @user-xg1bw2bd2l
      @user-xg1bw2bd2l 3 개월 전

      Cap

    • @slushiixoxo
      @slushiixoxo 3 개월 전

      @@user-xg1bw2bd2l what... literally no proof against this?

  • @sangria-margarita
    @sangria-margarita 5 개월 전 +209

    6:12 "You don't owe anyone anything." Thank you. I want to give you a hug. I just got out of such a terrible uncomfortable relationship like this and needed to hear that. I've just recently began healing from it.

  • @zachmatthewpogi9639
    @zachmatthewpogi9639 3 년 전 +7795

    “You are not responsible for the joy of others”
    -Jaiden Animation

  • @giggus_arrow509
    @giggus_arrow509 3 년 전 +3670

    “I don’t like that section of the mall anymore.” Holy shit. That hits different.

  • @BananaWallyBart
    @BananaWallyBart 6 개월 전 +208

    Illy, I’ve been in a “grooming” situation like this a couple years ago before. I watched this video and I recognized what the groomer was doing, I blocked him. Now I still come back to visit every once in a while, and remind myself to keep myself safe. I just turned 13, and I sent this video to my friend when she told me about a 22 year old guy asking her for pictures. Thank you for bringing awareness I love you Illy

  • @PixelsPolygonsNPetrichor
    @PixelsPolygonsNPetrichor 5 개월 전 +65

    Reminder: people who sexually abuse others usally aren't very developed emotionally
    so remember you are a lot more developed then this person is, they probably just spent his teenage years doing nothing to develop his brain
    You are FAR more powerful both physically and mentally

    • @overlord3481
      @overlord3481 개월 전

      You're saying that based on nothing. What does "developed" even mean? You saying that smart men can't be creeps lol

    • @PixelsPolygonsNPetrichor
      @PixelsPolygonsNPetrichor 개월 전 +2

      @@overlord3481 being mentally developed doesnt equal smartness.
      it's just the ability to handle things

    • @overlord3481
      @overlord3481 개월 전

      @@PixelsPolygonsNPetrichor define mentally developed

    • @PixelsPolygonsNPetrichor
      @PixelsPolygonsNPetrichor 개월 전

      @@overlord3481 being able to handle stuff that a younger/traumatised person cant

    • @iamtheloraxandispeakforthe8496
      @iamtheloraxandispeakforthe8496 개월 전 +3

      By emotionally underdeveloped, they mean that the person does not understand how their actions affect others (to some extent)
      They don't understand that someone deserves the right to say no, they only act on what THEY want.

  • @wadew.1869
    @wadew.1869 5 년 전 +3454

    “So he drove us to a parking garage.. “
    *I dont like that section of the mall anymore*
    Don’t tell me that didn’t make your heart drop to your stomach. Because it did for me, and Jesus Christ I hate the feeling

  • @sophia.aquino.
    @sophia.aquino. 4 년 전 +2923

    "You better be buffer than Mr. Clean with that attitude."
    -Illyssa, 2018

  • @amadude8174
    @amadude8174 4 개월 전 +55

    Thanks for making this, I was talking with a 20 year old woman over discord and she always seemed super nice but recently she kept talking about coming to my country for college and I’m only a 16 year old lad, this video helped me realise what she was trying to do and luckily I never shared any personal info

    • @Sam-pd9mp
      @Sam-pd9mp 개월 전 +3

      Dude, please stay away from her, and please be safe

  • @nerdtalkzofficial
    @nerdtalkzofficial 9 개월 전 +175

    Not a single person deserves to go through this and the people who cause it should be held accountable.
    God speed, Illy
    And to the people, start spreading awareness for things like this. Don’t mention this specific situation, but spread awareness about people who go through this

  • @hathal-wr6yb
    @hathal-wr6yb 3 년 전 +2111

    H-hate him
    A-an evil guy
    R-really disgusting
    I-ILLEGAL DOOD
    S-supposed to be in jail
    I would like justice☺

    • @giggus_arrow509
      @giggus_arrow509 3 년 전 +46

      His name is haris mahjoob. I’ve referenced social media, linked in, everything. He looks like illys drawing of him.

    • @bicuber8399
      @bicuber8399 3 년 전 +4

      Giggus_ Arrow Does he have any other socials?

    • @ObiWanKenobi212
      @ObiWanKenobi212 3 년 전 +1

      Giggus_ Arrow is he on face book?

    • @ObiWanKenobi212
      @ObiWanKenobi212 3 년 전 +1

      Giggus_ Arrow does he look fancy?

    • @rulerofeverything7247
      @rulerofeverything7247 3 년 전 +2

      @@giggus_arrow509 You found him?! What's he doing now?

  • @memelord2136
    @memelord2136 3 년 전 +2500

    "Age is just a number"
    And Hell is just a giant oven

  • @pikachuthebananasplit9061
    @pikachuthebananasplit9061 9 개월 전 +63

    I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.
    Words can not explain how impressed I am that you stood up to Harris and kept your ground.

  • @user-zs4zn7mt3v
    @user-zs4zn7mt3v 8 개월 전 +27

    I was a sexual assault victim back in year 6 by my bully who didn’t get a punishment for it and then I saw this video and I felt so seen, thank you so much illy, you are so brave for speaking out about this and putting your foot down when you couldn’t do it anymore.

  • @Aura097
    @Aura097 5 년 전 +2747

    "I don't like that section of the mall anymore".
    This just broke me.
    It's so messed up.

    • @_artly_art3622
      @_artly_art3622 5 년 전 +4

      Wait. I don't get it. What did they do?

    • @Aura097
      @Aura097 5 년 전 +62

      @@_artly_art3622 He r*ped her I think.

    • @mejustme479
      @mejustme479 5 년 전 +18

      And that is why I totally believe her story, I can relate. 💔

    • @Aura097
      @Aura097 5 년 전 +132

      @@stacymolchanova9832 what?! No she wasn't!! What are you even saying?

    • @xendra333
      @xendra333 5 년 전 +76

      @@stacymolchanova9832 Statutory rape exist and even so, she didn't give her consent.

  • @gddiggy3828
    @gddiggy3828 3 년 전 +2630

    "I don't like that section of the mall anymore."
    I have never heard a sentence with so many raw emotions put behind it. I CAN NOT imagine being in a situation like this.

    • @asahi7627
      @asahi7627 3 년 전 +91

      @Logan Roof Wtf dude, not funny

    • @saskiamoller8629
      @saskiamoller8629 3 년 전 +61

      @Logan Roof damn u can jump off a roof W Haris and also do a backflip

    • @furiousstudios4438
      @furiousstudios4438 3 년 전 +32

      @Logan Roof
      ......

    • @annareeves2027
      @annareeves2027 3 년 전 +42

      @Logan Roof um wtf that’s not good or nice this HAPPENED to someone and it’s really not funny imagine if it happened to YOU

    • @miki5152
      @miki5152 3 년 전 +29

      @Logan Roof backflip off a roof

  • @user-mx7tp8oc7r
    @user-mx7tp8oc7r 20 일 전 +8

    People like that man make me loose my faith in humanity.
    Then people like you go and restore it.
    You keep doing what you're doing, Illy.

  • @tgrsparrow
    @tgrsparrow 7 개월 전 +34

    Girl, i watched this series when it first came out four years ago. I didn't know it at the time how similar our situations were.
    Took a global pandemic for me to leave and several months after to go no contact but things are better now. Thank you for making this video series. You helped me open my eyes and realize what was happening.

  • @nomadsstuff1770
    @nomadsstuff1770 5 년 전 +600

    "back for the chaos" >implying i ever left

  • @perlajurado8953
    @perlajurado8953 5 년 전 +712

    "YOU BETTER BE BUFFER THAN MISTER CLEAN WITH THAT ATTITUDE"

  • @pr3ttyb0yj4y
    @pr3ttyb0yj4y 6 개월 전 +83

    3:41 makes me giggle so hard , i love how she can still make jokes and stuff during a hard time. its so nice for you to be this honest about things like this.

    • @BabySeal84
      @BabySeal84 5 개월 전 +4

      I was in a situation like this before but much less severe. So I was 11 and I was playing a game on roblox with my friends. Then someone came into the server(wasn't a private server cuz none of us had money) and they told me to join their game. I said "why, who are you" as did my friends. They said it was our other friend on an alternate account. I said ok and told my friend I would be right back. This guy then once we were in his private server pretending to be my friend, asked me a lot of personal stuff as they "forgot." This stuff included my birthday and stuff but they didn't say anything like my name as they knew I would catch on. I did as they wanted because I thought it was my friend. This guy then would go on to ask me for secrets that I "had told him" which were really just him digging for more info he could use against me. when he asked me how my dog was doing because and he said my other friend told him about my dog. I froze because the friend he was pretending to be was the only one I told about my dogs death, and I said that if I got a new dog, he would be the first I'd tell. I didn't confront him about it because I knew that if what was going on was what I thought it was, I could lose important information. I then played along and said a bunch of lies about my life and he believed them. He even told me he wanted a picture of me but I didn't do it as he should know what I looked like. After a little of him believing the lies I fed him, I confronted him slowly, and he didn't thunk to an excuse, he just acted hurt like I played him, as he never did anything wrong. I wasn't dumb enough to play his game though so I continued to expose him. When he knew he couldn't keep his act up much longer, he said how much I hurt him and how he hoped I would die in a car crash. He then left after playing victim a final time. After that I would go into the server where my friends were and I told them that the person who claimed to by our friend was just some random guy desperate for friends as I didn't want to tell them about everything else. I would joke about it now but never to those friends as I still haven't told them.

    • @DaisyLefay
      @DaisyLefay 2 개월 전

      Me too Illys the best 🫶

  • @TempoTronica
    @TempoTronica 4 개월 전 +13

    That story about the cop just made me mad. Like you said after telling the story, you deserved and needed help. I'm glad you got out of that. And I hope this video has helped other victims.

  • @jeongguks_universe6589
    @jeongguks_universe6589 4 년 전 +1892

    "I don't like that section of the mall anymore".
    Damn, that hit me hard.
    Im really sorry for what you had to go through

  • @evijakoltone7883
    @evijakoltone7883 5 년 전 +1032

    "i don't like that section of the mall anymore" hearing you say that made me feel so sick inside.

    • @TheKpopBasement
      @TheKpopBasement 5 년 전 +1

      Why?

    • @maja524
      @maja524 5 년 전 +95

      Hanin Mony Because it implies that
      she got sexually assaulted in that
      parking garage, and now that’s all she
      can think of in any parking garage.
      It’s heartbreaking.

    • @humancircuitry
      @humancircuitry 5 년 전 +7

      same. tears immediately welled up in my eyes.

    • @madeleinebillie2494
      @madeleinebillie2494 5 년 전 +16

      It’s not okay that she was put in that position in the first place but the fact that she was put in THAT position at THAT age is honestly so sickening and so disgusting I can’t even comprehend it. What’s even worse is how the POLICE the people who are meant to PROTECT us didn’t do a damn thing about it. That is the most the disappointing part of this video.

    • @daysleeper7209
      @daysleeper7209 5 년 전 +1

      Me too

  • @SlyInstinct
    @SlyInstinct 6 개월 전 +14

    I dont think i have the words to even express how courageous you are for sharing this story as this turned out to be majority of your teen years. I know you're in a far better place now but im honestly shocked people like Harris exist.
    Keep up the good work with the animations, they motivate me to try them as well even though mine suck 😅

  • @SirPentious_Slays
    @SirPentious_Slays 18 일 전 +7

    “Stop being dramatic”
    You hit me, you gaslighted me, you threatened me, you call me names, you traumatized me, you hurt me and threatened to hurt yourself, you forced me, you made me feel like shit and want to kill myself and IM being dramatic?

  • @auburnhippie3052
    @auburnhippie3052 5 년 전 +8319

    "sweetie, stalking is a big word." That's what the police said to me when I was in a similar situation. Illy, thank you for telling this story. It's good to know we're not alone in the word. All the love, darling.

    • @olliojenarter
      @olliojenarter 5 년 전 +262

      I wish I could line up all these good for nothing, dismissive law "enforcement" officers and pepper canon them until they apologize!

    • @totallycrazystudios1801
      @totallycrazystudios1801 4 년 전 +149

      Those cops belittled you like that? Messed up. I'm so sorry anybody has to go through anything like this.

    • @remig0ld_641
      @remig0ld_641 4 년 전 +39

      "Load the cannon!"

    • @gamesandshorts69
      @gamesandshorts69 3 년 전 +90

      Y'know what else is a big word?
      *Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Which is not what these types of cops are.*

    • @gamesandshorts69
      @gamesandshorts69 3 년 전 +7

      @Logan Roof wtf

  • @Drywalleaterr
    @Drywalleaterr 4 년 전 +1342

    "That's toxic as shiiiiiiiiiiiiii-"
    -JaidenAnimations

    • @quackityhasagun4405
      @quackityhasagun4405 3 년 전 +21

      tom gedison, you are now my favorite KRplus commenter.

    • @Kr4mpus_
      @Kr4mpus_ 3 년 전 +3

      this
      this is really fucking good

    • @nubbskull
      @nubbskull 3 년 전 +1

      Oo another comment from jaidens toxic thingy..????? I think????
      (sorry if I sound sarcastic and stuff)

    • @Dewey_01
      @Dewey_01 3 년 전

      That actually what i thaught

    • @littleshook5360
      @littleshook5360 3 년 전

      No😠😠😠😠 it's "UNLOCK THE DOORS FIND THE KEYSSS😭😭" 🤣🤣😂😂😂

  • @galaxysgaming3746
    @galaxysgaming3746 8 개월 전 +20

    I feel terrible that someone so young could go through something so horrible

  • @ratdoodles4370
    @ratdoodles4370 5 개월 전 +12

    i got very lucky.. my cousin sexually assaulted me and my parents found out. i didn’t tell them then his parents found out he got in trouble and thankfully no one else did. here i am, today, suffering through ptsd, haven’t dated a man ever again lol. i met a really nice police officer and he honestly helped much more than anyone has. i thank you for sharing this. and hope that no man ever bothers you like that again. stay strong, we love you

    • @tamimsiddique1420
      @tamimsiddique1420 5 개월 전 +3

      I'm sorry for what your cousin did, you did not deserve that.

  • @thepicklechamp
    @thepicklechamp 4 년 전 +1880

    Harris: I’m going to kill myself
    Everyone including illymation: good
    14:48

  • @ameIiacox
    @ameIiacox 3 년 전 +1531

    this is why we don’t use the term “toxic” lightly.

    • @yngjng7732
      @yngjng7732 3 년 전 +2

      @Logan Roof wtf

    • @lidiaamorim9342
      @lidiaamorim9342 3 년 전 +12

      @@yngjng7732 Don't mind him. He was being a *d word* back there talking about this video like it was a comedy.
      Breaking news *insert @ of that guy* its not *b word*

    • @heather4805
      @heather4805 3 년 전 +1

      @@lidiaamorim9342 brasil?

    • @blimasolash2551
      @blimasolash2551 3 년 전 +6

      When you live in my world that term is thrown around WAY to much

    • @amymeadows9834
      @amymeadows9834 3 년 전

      Well we are very Toxic human beings when we're hungry. And I'm very crazy when I'm need fed a nice pound of lead

  • @MinisDunyasi5
    @MinisDunyasi5 2 개월 전 +5

    Illy, thank you for sharing your story and raising awareness. I watched this series when I was 11. I’m 15 now, and by no exaggeration, you have saved me.
    I’ve made many friends online and had multiple encounters where my “new friends” told me never to tell my parents. I immediately blocked and reported them because you taught me to. I didn’t learn this in school. I learned it by watching this series.
    Thank you.

  • @vrx4t
    @vrx4t 6 개월 전 +7

    ive been in a similar situation before (a lot more complicated on the emotions but a shorter time by a lot) and seeing this video still sends chills down my spine. it's still crazy that you have the courage for speaking out

  • @zachboss2378
    @zachboss2378 4 년 전 +5676

    I can’t believe I breath the same oxygen of him

  • @karah7086
    @karah7086 5 년 전 +622

    I got chills when you said "I don't like the part of the mall anymore..."😨

  • @theoryhunters5382
    @theoryhunters5382 7 개월 전 +6

    People don't know how hard it is for people to do this.... I dealt with someone like this when I was 9 and he was 13.... when I told people... no one believed me either... I am proud to see others who went through similar issues speaking out. Our voices must be heard

  • @zaraandrews600
    @zaraandrews600 5 개월 전 +9

    I was sexually assaulted by my cousin when I was younger and I remember thinking that it must mean he loved me. My sister used to laugh at the idea of me loving my cousin. My cousin's sister who saw it all happen would laugh at me and make me feel bad for letting it happen. My dad had no idea that it was happening, but he happened to get into an argument with their mum (his sister) so we stopped seeing them. The next time we saw them was at my grandad's wedding, about ten years later. By that time I had realised what my cousin had done to me, but I had never told any of my family. My female cousin made a joke about it and I just remember having to try so hard to keep it together.
    A couple of years later me and my dad had met up my aunt and uncle for a quick hi. My uncle went on about me as a baby naked in the bath, it was disgusting. The way he talked about it, it felt very paedophilic. I just wanted to leave that conversation as quickly as possible. After that talk, me and my dad got into the car and I told him how uncomfortable my uncle had made me and my dad just blamed me, as I was the one who had wanted to catch up with my aunt. A little later on the car journey my dad spoke about my cousin, saying how great he is, and I told him what he had done to me when I was younger. All my dad said was that I should have told him when it happened, which I retorted, saying I didn't understand what had happened then. It was extremely frustrating.
    Since then I have told my sister too and she just got all awkward when I told her. The same happened with the guys I have dated. It made me feel like I was blowing the whole thing out of proportion, but I also couldn't get rid of this feeling of violation. Eventually I told my best friend about it and she was really great. She made me feel validated, and helped me try to get help for it. I am so grateful to her for making me feel valid. I still haven't told most of my family about what happened. But I feel like most of them wouldn't care and would just see it as me trying to cause issues. Sometimes I want to talk to my cousin and tell how violated and betrayed he made me feel, but I also think he wouldn't care.
    I also worry that he might have done this to other people, but I don't want to ruin his life if it was just me. He is 6 months older than me so I have been told it could have just been because he was a child himself. At the time of the assault I was dealing with going through puberty very early so I had developed breasts a lot younger than other kids. I also have autism and have always been more trusting of people older than me. I had really adored my older cousin because I felt safe with him. My parents had just divorced and I was always being told to take a side. Normally when I visited family too I would end up having to look after my younger cousins as the oldest, so having one cousin older than me on my dad's side had always given me some relief. Now I am worried when he is in the same room as my cousins as I don't trust him (thankfully this happens very rarely).

    • @tamimsiddique1420
      @tamimsiddique1420 5 개월 전 +3

      I'm sorry for what you had through, even having your father blaming you. It's not your fault, and it really sucks that your father would victim blame. It really sucks that the people you have told do not care, but great, your best friend does.

    • @nevaehlynch3399
      @nevaehlynch3399 4 개월 전

      That's so sad, I hope you get the justice you deserve and uh..., Don't be shy, Tell us his name....

    • @user-zq8ng1iy8t
      @user-zq8ng1iy8t 3 개월 전

      What the heck is wrong with your family …….( atleast most )

  • @gaypepporoni1171
    @gaypepporoni1171 3 년 전 +1878

    Little does harris know there are over 1.75 million people willing to take him out >:)

  • @catharticreverie
    @catharticreverie 5 년 전 +756

    I feel like I'm more disappointed and angry at the cop because it was his job to protect you. It was his responsibility to take this seriously, but he didn't. He refused to listen and condescended a very serious issue that could have turned much much worse. When people in power like him don't believe survivors of abuse, they have blood on their hands. He doesn't deserve to be a cop.

    • @corncosplayer7941
      @corncosplayer7941 5 년 전 +36

      I'm scared of cops literally because of this reason, something similar happened to me

    • @diligentone-six2688
      @diligentone-six2688 5 년 전 +6

      In my Country: Once a Cop, always a Cop. Your Job is to Serve an Protect the Country. Any Lawmen is not Safe in our recent Administration. Commit a Crime, you get Humiliated by the Superintendents. And either they'll take you some place dangerous or they'll arrest you.

    • @SteenatheCatrobat
      @SteenatheCatrobat 5 년 전 +13

      I hope he got fired.

    • @gamerharpy205
      @gamerharpy205 년 전

      He should be fired

    • @HiSkyHigh
      @HiSkyHigh 년 전

      I hope the the cop and her ex dies in a hole with no one to remember them

  • @GOOBER_SILLYGOOB
    @GOOBER_SILLYGOOB 7 개월 전 +3

    I am so sorry this happened to you at such a young age.. as someone that has almost been in a situation like this I completely understand how you felt.. this situation is really scary, especially at such a young age.. I’m so so happy you were so brave to tell this story

  • @user-hi9pp7lk3d
    @user-hi9pp7lk3d 25 일 전 +2

    I'm so glad you feel comfortable sharing this story, I hope you get your justice girl

  • @leofont6026
    @leofont6026 5 년 전 +14693

    The 6.6k dislikes are all of Haris' fake accounts...

  • @katecrumrine171
    @katecrumrine171 3 년 전 +835

    “Stick and stones will break your bones, but words won’t hurt you. Right?” Verbal and mental abuse is still abuse. Everyone should remember that. Please.

    • @ignoremelol2576
      @ignoremelol2576 3 년 전 +7

      Yeah

    • @mercurymoon2369
      @mercurymoon2369 3 년 전 +5

      Thank you!

    • @wadabreab
      @wadabreab 3 년 전 +11

      Injuries heal, words dont

    • @mahendrakandpal7514
      @mahendrakandpal7514 3 년 전 +2

      Nope.

    • @katerinasuprunchik9121
      @katerinasuprunchik9121 3 년 전 +9

      My older cousin is putting me through mental abuse calling me “fatass” “ugly” “stupid” “untalented” “worthless” and it’s only me. No. One. Else. His parents don’t do anything at all. I believed him. I keep putting myself down. Calling myself the things that he has said. My sisters probably noticed that something is wrong. I try to get better. But I can’t. I’m scared to eat in front of his family. I always have the feeling that I’m being judged. I spend all my time alone not wanting to talk to anyone. Isolating myself. Whatever you say will effect someone forever.

  • @hina9234
    @hina9234 9 개월 전 +3

    Thanks fo sharing this story Ily! Your so brave for sharing this story! Your helping so many teenagers out there!

  • @thestuff5133
    @thestuff5133 7 개월 전 +4

    I was in a toxic relationship for 3 years
    13 years old till I was 16.
    And assaulted by some others at 17
    I'm in my 20's now in a better place but
    Sadly nobody but the people in my life believes me
    The people I cutted out now doesn't believe me and it hurt me.
    I cannot share my story much in public because I have no proof and having no proof...sucks

  • @jellosquid8096
    @jellosquid8096 4 년 전 +2995

    my heart shattered when she said that about the parking garage.

    • @lawlietyagami9857
      @lawlietyagami9857 4 년 전 +177

      Same, it’s so sad when you realize there’s people out there who would prey on younger kids or do these types of horrible things.

    • @camerontraer3136
      @camerontraer3136 4 년 전 +54

      Same. I feel terrible for her. I would NEVER do that to someone who I truly love.

    • @trictok4418
      @trictok4418 4 년 전 +62

      And my heart became a little more whole when you gave us validation. Thank you! I was a harassment victim but everyone dismissed it as just my imagination. I'm grateful that you believe illymation's testimony was real.

    • @aetuts4773
      @aetuts4773 4 년 전 +9

      this is irrelevant but heads up jd i’m a dead gay walking

    • @Kai-zz3no
      @Kai-zz3no 4 년 전 +1

      uwu. And here’s your final bell
      It’s one last dance and then farewell

  • @jellyquijano4191
    @jellyquijano4191 4 년 전 +1712

    “YOU BETTA BE BUFFER THAN MR CLEAN WITH THAT ATTITUDE”

  • @jellymarill3837
    @jellymarill3837 4 개월 전 +1

    Thank you so much for realeasing this series because it is a very educational and made me and a lot of other people more concious of these kinds of situations.
    You are so brave for talking about it especially since videos have come out of people defending Haris and I watched there videos and thankfully found so many comments defending you.
    You deserve to be helped :)

  • @rachelmorton771
    @rachelmorton771 7 개월 전 +4

    No one ever deserves to be abused

  • @Alex-dm8vf
    @Alex-dm8vf 5 년 전 +3069

    *She was in KRplus rewind* I’m so proud

  • @dove_annarchie6787
    @dove_annarchie6787 3 년 전 +4249

    I'm still so fucking infuriated that Illy never got justice, not even her having a better life, friends and support system in the present can quench that anger. It's so unfair...

    • @alias4795
      @alias4795 2 년 전 +12

      Same.

    • @oreocrumbs4598
      @oreocrumbs4598 2 년 전 +104

      @Rafa Enzo Natividad Dude, there is literally sexual abuse in the video and you're worried about someone swearing in the comments? 😭/nm

    • @krek2031
      @krek2031 2 년 전 +7

      @@oreocrumbs4598 I agree

    • @personwithinternet
      @personwithinternet 2 년 전 +2

      Same

    • @krek2031
      @krek2031 2 년 전 +1

      STILL THIS GUYS SCARED TO FUCKING RESPOND 😂😂😂

  • @SpecialEdge
    @SpecialEdge 8 개월 전 +3

    “You better be buffer than Mr Clean with that attitude” lives in my head rent free, which there was more opportunities to say it

  • @GenerationDefenders
    @GenerationDefenders 9 개월 전 +1

    Thank you so much for your bravery. We stand by you, you make us feel seen and give us hope for justice. Never keep fighting illy, we stand by you.

  • @HeavyWingz
    @HeavyWingz 5 년 전 +2026

    He don't protecc
    He only attack
    But most improtantly he needs to jail real quick no cap

  • @keianucharlize
    @keianucharlize 5 년 전 +502

    When you said “and he drove to a parking lot...............I don’t like that part of the mall anymore”it made me so sad I could here the pain in your voice

    • @seleenam-ali4762
      @seleenam-ali4762 5 년 전 +14

      Yes same dude my heart dropped i feel soo bad

    • @PUNKTACTIXX
      @PUNKTACTIXX 5 년 전 +5

      She should of just killed him right there right then

    • @sophieliz5027
      @sophieliz5027 5 년 전 +1

      my heart BROKE

    • @theinternetpolice2078
      @theinternetpolice2078 5 년 전

      I could hear the utter defeat in that voice.

    • @moony4412
      @moony4412 4 년 전

      songs to listen to when I'm bored she couldn’t. She was helpless, and couldn’t stop him.

  • @Katietheoddartist
    @Katietheoddartist 6 개월 전 +5

    I’m so sorry Illy ☹️ no one ever deserves this. You didn’t deserve this. I hope he is rotting in a jail cell.

  • @StrikeThatChord
    @StrikeThatChord 5 개월 전

    I'm so, SO sorry you had to go through this. Just remember even though when things happen in the past, they can still affect you, and I know it's hard to forget things like this, but keep your head up. Don't let that control you.
    Your biggest fan,
    Tilly

  • @jennifergrissom5878
    @jennifergrissom5878 3 년 전 +840

    He ruined this girl's freaking life not just childhood he gave her these memories no one should suffer like that

    • @sarahj4091
      @sarahj4091 3 년 전 +7

      @Logan Roof no❤️ noone else reply please this 9 year old "logan" is looking for attention

    • @couchramen5451
      @couchramen5451 3 년 전 +2

      ABSOLUTELY NO ONE SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE THIS

    • @alexandriadiamante4286
      @alexandriadiamante4286 3 년 전 +2

      Yea I feel so sorry for her

  • @crypticshyguy9170
    @crypticshyguy9170 5 년 전 +611

    4:03
    I know this is serious but...
    *”YoU bEtTeR bE bUfFeR tHaN mR.cLeAn WiTh ThAt AtTiTuDe-“*

  • @EggsToYourBacon
    @EggsToYourBacon 10 개월 전 +9

    6:25 That just solidified in my mind that I really wasnt overreacting to what happened to me.
    Tw: If you continue theres mentions of sexual harrassment.
    At 13 years old I realized thatt I was gay. At some point I had found a girlfriend. Me and my friends were big on sleepovers, so I had her and three other friends over for a sleepover. At some point she litterallly begged me to make out with her. My friends didnt notice my discomfort because It's difficult to tell the difference between that and me just being flustered, so they laughed and joked, not realizing that I was in distress. At some point I gave in and told her to meet me in the bathroom at lunch on Monday at school. Nothing ended up happening, but the fact that she begged me for it throws me off.
    Also the fact that at some point that night, I was on the floor because I was laughing so hard. I feel weight on my stomach/hips area and when I looked up it was her with her legs on either side of my hips straddling me. I froze up, really embarrassed hoping my friends wouldnt notice, but they did. Ive brought ut uo to the friends that were there and they've all admitted that they didnt know i was uncomfortable. My nickname in the friend grooup was litterally [first name] Horny because my last name is horne and i was a horny little fucker.

  • @nullvoidandkittens_Ravenull

    Please keep educating us on this you just saved lives

  • @charlielong2129
    @charlielong2129 3 년 전 +975

    Dad: BILLY, WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM!
    Me: He's Harris
    Dad: Shoot him again Billy

  • @trillaabree8617
    @trillaabree8617 5 년 전 +585

    “You better be buffer than mr.clean with that attitude”

  • @crazedcyber
    @crazedcyber 7 개월 전

    I love seeing videos like these especially when it comes to online grooming. I was groomed several times online but got into 'relationships' with two people and it definitely did some damage to me, even to this day. It kinda makes me feel seen that both of our stories took so similar, makes me feel like I can conquer the pain :) thank you for sharing your story!

  • @marthameza9451
    @marthameza9451 6 개월 전

    you are so brave for surviving and telling the story! I am so glad you were able to escape, what he did to you was discusting and im glad you were able to get yourself out of thte mindset and being straightforward to him! you deserve to be happy.

  • @fartgoblin3007
    @fartgoblin3007 4 년 전 +752

    Like Jaiden said: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYONES HAPPINESS!

  • @kaitlynmaschhoff344
    @kaitlynmaschhoff344 4 년 전 +754

    I know this is a serious video but when she said “You better be buffer than mr. clean with that attitude” that got me😂

  • @KatzeMelli
    @KatzeMelli 개월 전 +2

    Girl, from one abuse victim to another … here is a big long internet hug. This was a ride and took me right back to the memories of my ex… hope you’re well these days ❤

  • @Indigoification
    @Indigoification 7 개월 전 +21

    I know this is old, but just in case anyone is watching this video and finds it relatable: you DO deserve better. Even if you feel like you're the worst person in the world, it is not your fault that this is happening. The person doing this to you (regardless of their gender) KNOWS that what they are doing is wrong but they're choosing to do this anyway. That is 100% on them, not you

  • @ouroborosjormungandr5615

    Y'now...if he's still got those pictures, he's a criminal.

    • @cryptic-lemon9755
      @cryptic-lemon9755 5 년 전 +41

      Yeah, couldn't the police get a warrant on his computer and see that 'personal collection' of his?

    • @rynemcgriffin1752
      @rynemcgriffin1752 5 년 전 +13

      Ms Crazy He most likely has deleted these and would make stuff up

    • @ceinwennn
      @ceinwennn 5 년 전 +2

      They were snaps though

    • @Scarlettt343
      @Scarlettt343 5 년 전 +3

      @@rynemcgriffin1752 there would still be evidence that's already out. Like Cristali. He denied it, but we all know the truth and now he's in the slammer where he belongs

    • @liltube8092
      @liltube8092 5 년 전 +5

      Ryne Mcgriffin nothing is ever fully deleted and for a idiot and creep like him I don’t think he would delete them so the police could find them

  • @jennifunny5421
    @jennifunny5421 5 년 전 +19784

    *WHOS👏BACK👏FOR👏THE👏CHAOS*

  • @Yassmine_Amelia
    @Yassmine_Amelia 6 개월 전 +2

    The fact that he's still free out there, is just horrific, dimented, demonic, crazy, unhinged, insane, ridiculous and disgusting.
    This video really made me realize that I myself was being manipulated, I'm so grateful that I stopped it before it got sexual

  • @user-ct9fk8kc4y
    @user-ct9fk8kc4y 23 일 전 +2

    I was unknowingly SA’d by my parents and groomed, I didn’t know that it was happening. But it did. Not including the manipulation, and other types of abuse. I am proud of you for leaving.

  • @user-ev3dq9gr3c
    @user-ev3dq9gr3c 3 년 전 +653

    Honestly, that cop...
    *is as bad as Harris*

    • @markrichardson9008
      @markrichardson9008 3 년 전 +30

      Not as bad, but still VERY BAD!

    • @AdhielSutcliff
      @AdhielSutcliff 3 년 전 +8

      No it’s this bullshit thing that police do in order to not arrest an innocent man over a feminist person accusing someone of rape

    • @vanessacoriaconsani6403
      @vanessacoriaconsani6403 3 년 전 +18

      ACAB

    • @iightnin_xb9993
      @iightnin_xb9993 3 년 전 +3

      Vanessa Coria Consani not true there are good cops out there but when somebody robs your house don’t call 911 cus acab right

    • @mibukdesjarlais534
      @mibukdesjarlais534 3 년 전 +14

      @@markrichardson9008 Nope that cop IS just as bad as Harris. Ever heard of police brutality? 😊

  • @bumblebeeproductions1673
    @bumblebeeproductions1673 3 년 전 +1724

    “You’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness!”
    - Jaiden Animations, 2019

    • @yaaraschor207
      @yaaraschor207 3 년 전 +44

      Some good wisdom by Jaiden to us all

    • @anonymouslymj1064
      @anonymouslymj1064 3 년 전 +34

      But they feel really depressed- NOT PERSONALLY REASONABLE FOR ANYONE’S HAPPINESS!
      But I’m Santa Claus.
      Alright gray area

    • @ReaTheReal
      @ReaTheReal 3 년 전 +2

      Uhm-

    • @joyflameball
      @joyflameball 3 년 전 +5

      Wise words to live by

    • @oliviaobjects
      @oliviaobjects 3 년 전 +3

      Dude, you are talking about the wrong channel.

  • @HottieEmily
    @HottieEmily 7 개월 전 +2

    The fact that she sounds so sad and at one point she sounded on the verge of tears breaks me

  • @pinayblogista
    @pinayblogista 6 개월 전 +2

    You have just made others that may have gone through, be going through a very huge help by posting this. Let there me more of you that speaks out about this.

  • @Allaroundtheworld99
    @Allaroundtheworld99 5 년 전 +1692

    “My gut was like.. GURL THIS IS WHACK” 😂😂

  • @freezingblade7258
    @freezingblade7258 4 년 전 +703

    Even if the cop didn’t trust illy, he shouldn’t ignore the chance to help someone. So that cop is mean and really dumb.

    • @RiverCola07
      @RiverCola07 3 년 전 +25

      I want to hit that cop.

    • @lostnumbr
      @lostnumbr 3 년 전 +30

      uttering death threats is a serious thing. that cop needs to be fired for not even taking a report on it.

    • @amy9048
      @amy9048 3 년 전 +25

      cops are trained to trust people and help them. if a cop can’t do their job then they could be fired and arrested at worst

    • @josteinulnes3985
      @josteinulnes3985 3 년 전 +3

      Cops shood be safe and help u!!!!

    • @hovanng6317
      @hovanng6317 3 년 전 +6

      That. Damn. Cop.

  • @loonylovegood7846
    @loonylovegood7846 3 개월 전 +5

    I wish this had a Persian subtitle because this happens to a lot of Iranian woman because law and society are against relationships out of marriage

    • @therandomname69420
      @therandomname69420 3 개월 전 +1

      You can translate the subtitles through DeepL and edit the video

  • @asillygoofygoofygoober
    @asillygoofygoofygoober 8 개월 전 +5

    That ex must be ex-ecuted for all the things he’s done

  • @gothgf6598
    @gothgf6598 5 년 전 +730

    “YoU BeTtEr Be bUfFeR ThAn Mr.ClEaN! wItH tHaT aTtIuDe!” I’m dying!!😂😂
    (Edit: Thank you for all the likes!!)

  • @ailinsno
    @ailinsno 5 년 전 +500

    “Better be buffer then mr.clean with that attitude ” love that

  • @zb2363
    @zb2363 3 개월 전 +1

    Kudos to you for your strength. I am so sorry this happened to you. Thank you for educating others :)

  • @frogempire998
    @frogempire998 7 개월 전 +1

    This really helped with past trauma thank you so much you are the best

  • @izzythegamer1434
    @izzythegamer1434 3 년 전 +729

    Favorite part: “YOU BETTER BE BUFFER THAN MISTER CLEAN WITH THAT ATTiTUDE!!”

  • @Lucid_The_Hellhound
    @Lucid_The_Hellhound 3 년 전 +4498

    Let this be a warning children- in a relationship you are supposed to feel safe, you need to feel like the person really cares about you and they respect you.

    • @Lucid_The_Hellhound
      @Lucid_The_Hellhound 2 년 전 +11

      @Sparer Yahya Yes.

    • @kito1156
      @kito1156 2 년 전 +30

      This should go for any relationship with anyone you know

    • @spamton1996
      @spamton1996 2 년 전 +5

      Too bad I’m a virgin

    • @astroIogi
      @astroIogi 2 년 전 +4

      Ill ask a phone and call 911
      Or be a police myself-

    • @tammiestait5465
      @tammiestait5465 2 년 전 +6

      You shouldn't limit to just children.
      I'm giving you the award of "Thinking 69420% of children are dumb".

  • @Im_just_a_banana
    @Im_just_a_banana 7 개월 전

    Im glad you posted this video because it’s important to tell others about these types of things and make sure others know they’re not alone you are an awesome person ily ❤❤❤

  • @RT_0123
    @RT_0123 6 개월 전 +1

    You're so brave!! So admirable!!

  • @m4ryslibrary
    @m4ryslibrary 4 년 전 +1244

    Dear Harris,
    *“There are approximately 1010300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly explain how much I want to hit you with a chair.”*
    edit: HOLY FUCK HOW DID THIS GET 1.K

  • @scotthorror2519
    @scotthorror2519 5 년 전 +327

    "you better be buffer than mr clean with that attitude" facts

  • @g-man7322
    @g-man7322 4 개월 전 +2

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry this happened to you.

  • @LauraCruz-qwerty
    @LauraCruz-qwerty 7 개월 전 +6

    so brave telling this story. I feel for you illy

  • @KrystalFlip
    @KrystalFlip 3 년 전 +448

    "YOU BETTER BE BUFFER THAN MR. CLEAN WITH THAT ATTITUDE-"
    Illy, 2018

  • @Ashrustic
    @Ashrustic 3 년 전 +1189

    "Age is just a number."
    Execution is just a time limit.

  • @nyaluvsherbf
    @nyaluvsherbf 7 일 전 +1

    I am late but I am so sorry that happened to you.. no one should have to go through that. And the fact they didn’t even listen to you at the start says it all. This isn’t talked about enough. I hope your doing so much better❤️

  • @sugardrop69
    @sugardrop69 개월 전

    I went through stuff online too and it still affects me to this day and hurts to think about, i only ever told one person but never my family and i regret it but i moved passed it to the point where it doesnt bother me quite as much.
    I only wish i could've told my younger self to stay away from social media until you're older to know better and realize that the internet can be dangerous, to be more responsible at such a young age.
    Illy you're incredibly brave to share your story and put this douchebag on blast, i'm glad that years after this you've been able to still find love! I hope your doing well and i really am glad that i found your channel because these videos have been a treat to watch including your current content ❤