MY 5 TIPS FOR SELECTIVE MUTISM

Thank you! I'm a 14 year old girl, and I've been suffering from selective mutism for around 9 years, since I started school basically- although I'm slowly overcoming it, I haven't had any help with it- everyone just assumes I am shy or rude because I don't respond to them, even though I don't choose to not respond. My parents don't know I have it and I doubt they'd be able to do anything about it, so at this point I'm battling it on my own but I know I can overcome it if I keep trying, It hasn't been easy and I don't think it'll get any easier but I am hoping that maybe one day ill be able to speak without anxiety holding me back.

I’m 22, only turned 22 the other day but I have been suffering from this since the age of 5. Everyone thinks I am rude because I don’t speak I have no friends I’ve been bullied all of life driven to the point of suicide . I’ve made it to the last year of uni without speaking to anyone or barely going into class no one even knows my name. I can’t even go to the doctor because I can’t speak. I can’t even record myself on video alone without the same of not being able to speak. I don’t meant to rant on a KRplus comment sorry but I have no one to talk to about this well I can’t manage it ---
Also thank you for making this video it’s so helpful to see someone else talk about their experience

1. No pressure
2. Conformable places
3. Don't single out
4. Don't draw attention
5. Strangers

Thanks for this... I have a student with SM and I'm trying to help her. Unfortunately, her mother does not believe she has it and will not seek any medical treatment. I'm trying to do what I can for her. :-(

My daughter is 14. She was diagnosed at 5. She refuses to go to school. She doesn't have friends. Shes to scared. She barely talks to us. If we ask her a question it is one word answers. Shes been in therapy for years. She wont let you take her pictures, she doesn't like people to complement her. She hates school . She doesn't have any ambition or no what she wants to do in her life. She doesn't like to be asked questions about herself. She only like plain clothes nothing with designs or to brite of colors. She doesn't like to be looked at or talked about. She doesn't want people to see her upset or cry. One time she did say it's not fair , I wish I was someone else. She refuses to go out . She stay in the house weeks at a time. She hates any kind of attention. It's so bad. She hates going to the doctor and will lie if shes sick just so she doesn't have to go. She got so upset when she started her period. I didnt find out for days and had to guess. She doesn't even want to talk about that stuff. I'm at the end of my rope because I don't know what's going to happen to her .

It's nice to meet someone who also has selective mutism I've had it since I was a kid and am 27 now and still struggling bc I never got any help or support :( I've never met anyone else who has it I feel like such a loser the things that come so naturally to others seem impossible for me 😞

Thank you so much for your video. My son is almost 9, has selective mutism. We diagnosed him when he was 5. He's been on and off therapies....Don't be shy to speak about your healing because it really can help us!

Thank you for this! All your points applied to me and it made me feel better about my selective mutism.

You’re so influential! What a role model wow thank you 😊

Thank you so much for this
I felt like nobody understood this properly and I am happy somebody else does and alot of this relates to me alot x

great video, helped me gain some more understanding as i have met someone that may have it, the 5th point on strangers was particularly good, thank you.

Thank you for the video! Great tips!

Thank you for this. I'm currently working with someone who is selectively mute. I've not encountered it before and wanted to understand it a little more.

Thank you for sharing. I am a school counselor and I think my student has it. I am also learning how to treat in my capacity.

Thank you for this!

Great video, I wish I found this last year when you first posted this.
My 15 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with SM. She's been suffering all through secondary school. We thought she was just shy. I'm trying to get as much info as I can to help her. 👍🏾

I so excited to watch this video! A doctor online diagnosed me for selective mutism when I was 6/7 idk how long I’ve had it for. So I really hope these tips help.

I’m confused because I’m not diagnosed with selective mutism but I feel the way you used to

Thank you SO much, I have DID and one of my Littles has selective mutism so when she fronts or we are coconcious it can affect me as well. I only can find resources for caregivers and parents for working with it, and this has helped me so much. Lots of love ♡

Had it for 4+ years tysm

Great tips ! The knowledge should come from people who have suffered this. I was presssured everyday. And ended up not being able to go to school anymore, lying in bed becouse i was sick from exhoustion. I never really recovered. Iam fatigued .And developed other disorders as well. Therapy did not help , they were onely fokused on exposure therapy wich triggered the trauma.
I am doing small things to try to recover. Talking to strangers is really working sometimes. And to be i nature and with animals. And just a few people i feel safe with.

Thankyou so much for this,, I’m really struggling in school at the minute I fear so much of having to speak cuz I’m put on the spot all the time and I just stutter or can’t say what I’m gonna say and it makes me not wanna go to school cuz Ik I’ll have to speak and the only person I can speak to is my best mate and my family everyone else I just can’t

Thank you for sharing. I've had SM since I was 4. I wonder if public school has anything to do with the cause because for me it started when I first went to school. Now I'm 32 but I still struggle with it just not as bad as a child.

This is really interesting. I might be suffering from selective mutism … but I am not sure. I am not sure when it exactly started but I can definitely PinPoint a time in which I became timid, shy and feared social interactions. Usually when I had to talk to adults. I am, mostly, able to talk to people in my age range (but only when I can deem them as somehow „safe people“?!). Then I noticed that I have a really hard time conversing with relatives (my aunts and even my grandparents etc.). I get really anxious and do not know what to say. My mother always brushed it of as me being shy. Some people think that I am just really polite. But I hate being alone with people. I have a desire to communicate but I just cannot. It is like something is keeping me from conversing. I had been pretty much ok with it because I have a solid group of friends. However, I recently have been trouble talking to my partners family. Especially his parents. I just sit around saying nothing. And I am under so much pressure all the time. I can crack a smile or so. But I cannot be part of conversations. Again, this is only with the „adults“ (his mother, father and aunt and uncle, grandmother etc.). However, I can talk to his sisters and cousins who are around our age. I have always asked myself why I was this way. This really could be an answer. It would feel relieving to be able to work on this matter as I think that it is really keeping me from showing my real self. I am 25 years old by the way. I think, however, that this really started when I was around 4-6 years old?

Thanks for the tips. I think the no pressure tip hit home for me. Whenever I don't feel pressure to talk, I can talk just fine. But if it's a social situation where I feel expected that I should talk like when meeting up with a friend, especially when eating at a restaurant or riding in the car with someone, I clam up. My fear is that I won't be able to talk, which then ends up happening. I was wondering if you have any advice on not putting pressure on yourself in one on one situations? Congrats on how far you have come by the way, that's encouraging.

Thank you! My 12 year old daughter suffers with this.

This video has been very beneficial to me. I am an older adult and wondering if select mutism is comorbid with ADHD? Thank you for your channel. It has been helpful to me.

The Strangers point hit the most, that's definitely the easiest area for talking. I as you can see my channel have a KRplus channel with my voice in it but no identity, but only my friends know about it. My biggest difficulty is talking with family and those I know, or those that will relay back to my family. I'm 18 and wanna be done with it before I turn 19. It's been pretty much my whole life, and it really got bad past 6th grade...peaking around 10th gradeish....and there's a tiny bit of progress since then but not much worth anything.
It's definitely the stigma/reaction for me too. I wish my family didn't know me lol. It's killing me lately, I still need to let my mom know it's the reaction to me speaking, I've told her a few things so far since she's the easiest to talk to, probably because she has the least severe reaction (good or bad) when I talk. Anyways I really enjoyed the video and thank you for giving more input out there, I've only in the last 2 weeks been actively looking at other's experiences with it. My mom had prior to these 2 weeks made me meet up with someone else who had it, but then I didn't want to meet anyone like me because I hate that part of me. It's ironic.

Thanks so much!!! I really like hearing your point of view - it seems to make more sense to me than the view of labeling it as a disorder that needs treatment from therapist with a doctorate- do you think it is better just to avoid using the label selective mutism in telling others about my daughter? I feel like it will make them whisper and make her feel more uncomfortable

Thank you for this I haven't been diagnosed but I might not pass 6th grade because I'm too scared to talk to the teachers and I haven't told me parents about how I'm too scared to talk to them. :((

i have this but only in certain situations like if more then one person is talking to me i become silent and un able to speak i never spoke in elementary school at parties school events when its people i dont know its get annoying i have like no friends cause of it partner presentations are my favorite cause i get to do the work but not the talking when its on my own its a nightmare im trying to over come it but its so hard.

I am suffering so much. It feels like the end of the world day in and day out.

im 16 and had it since grade 6 and still have it in grade 11

I 21 years old and I believe I am struggling with this, this gonna be long comment,
When I was 9 years old my family moved to completely different country and I start new school and start learning the new language and I remember getting shocked my first day school cause it hit me that I don't know single person in this school and even though I was shy before I had few friends in my old school so after my first day I became mute when I was in school and I only said something that people couldn't after being forced by the teacher, and made that I didn't learn the speaking part of my new language at all even after 1 year but all my siblings learn and was good after months at speaking and made friends easily.
but home I was really different home and I would speak to my mother language freely with people and I had one friend in school and we were from same country so I could talk to her in my native language no problem but she was more fluent in the new language more so when she spoke it I would become mute and she felt bad for me and would translate in class and teach me how to write thing in the new language and after 3 years would still not saying much and I remember being mute a whole even though every minute I wanted to say something, after 4 years my teacher suggested that I should read to learn the language better and I loved reading so I started and become good at writing and understanding the language and would get good grades on exam cause of it but wouldn't dare to speak or hold conversations or ask questions so I decided to focus on reading and understand to get grades and it was not that I didn't speak cuase i didn't but I could it was like I couldn't open my mouth or even if I mange there was no sound coming out, and that frustrated me so much and would really be angry at myself but even my teacher and parents though I was shy or that it was only little period even though I had the same teacher for than 3 years and I remember a teacher say that would grow out of it but even that time I really wanted to talk and say something I would even translate and make sentences in my head or questions to ask but my mouth wouldn't open and I remember being depressed and hated going school and would make om sickness or when there is presentation in class i would miss the class and lock myself in the toilet and I stop hanging out the girl that was from my country and her friend group cause I didn't want attention and I felt bad and start to struggle own to learn the language and my senior I forced myself to speak and make friends it was heard but I Started speaking little and I become afraid to say something wrong cause people thought it was weird that I didn't new the language after 7 years and I felt shame and now I am still struggling after 10 years and not good at speaking and people still get surprised that I can't speak really good after so many years being here but I happy that I can hold conversations with people now with my second language and my trying to build my confidence to speak more but I still find myself being mute special if I see sometimes meet with som old classmates in the street but this I found out last year cause like most people I thought I was shy but I knew that being shy and when I am mute, but still never meet with doctor or are diagnosed but if this not what struggled with i dlnt whatelse it was cause i don't want to remember my young self nowadays cause I remember how hard I had and the feelings I felt at that time I don't want to remember and don't look back but I never talk with someone about this so I just wanted to rant here but I wanted to say that it not something you can overcome so easily so give yourself time and understand yourself and what you want try to overcome or find other ways that is necessarily talking like for me I decided to read to learn the language and get good at understanding the language to avoid mistakes and get good grades so find something that works for you and slowly try to to speak when fel like you can do it, I still struggle with it till this dag and I am find tips to learn without speaking with others much so Goodluck everyone 😊

What’s the intro song?

I've had selective mutism since 3rd grade and I'm about to go into highschool. I really want to be able to talk when I go to highschool but I don't know if it's possible😭 I've been so stressed and I don't know what to do

I started working and it's like I'm back to HS I can't speak to my coworkers and they think I'm boring at I hate that I feel trapped inside myself and it's taking a toll on my mood plus I have no social life,social anxiety and sm suck😩

My gf has selective mutism and we are in a LDR. Can anyone give some advices?

I’m 13 and I was diagnosed with SM and Anxiety when I was 4 and I feel like I’m never going to get real friends or when I’m older even a boyfriend when I was in elementary school I had this one friend who was my best friend who I talked to outside of school and we had sleep overs all the time and then one day she just stopped being my friend and she doesn’t talk to me anymore. Everyone at school thinks I’m just very shy and one girl didn’t want me sitting at the lunch table with them because I didn’t talk to them and they always pushed me anyway so I switched tables and the people at that table say I’m their friend yet they won’t hang out with me and hardly notice me
I also couldn’t order my own food at a restaurant till not that long ago but when I’m with my mom I can’t do it but when I’m with someone else like my grandma I can order myself.
If teachers were to ask my name and I don’t answer, cuz kids r cruel now a days they would all laugh instead of telling the teacher that I’m shy or I don’t talk or whatever to at least make me feel better but they all make the situation worse than it already is so rn I’m not in school but I’m getting tutored at home instead but I have to go back to school next week
If anyone is reading this and I have any tips please let me know. ❤️

For me I'm a lot better than i was I didn't speak to anyone at school apart from my best friend till year 3. The bit I struggle with now is talking to the girl I like or pretty much any girl at school. It's really annoying because i was fine till I moved schools but now it's almost like I am starting all over again like if a girl at school were to speak to me i could answer but i'd feel awkward and at this school i seem to feel like my conversations end a lot faster i can't keep them going anymore. For me I do bodybuilding which for me helps a lot confidence wise but like I don't know what to do. At my last school i could be as loud as I liked and spoke freely now like at this school I'm loud with the boys and the girls in my form but the other girls I couldn't just start a conversation with. Also i speak online easily like if I were to play online with girls at school i'd be fine its just face to face stuff, I don't know I just feel like I've lost most my confidence. Like usually I don't care what people think and all that the only reason this is an issue is because I may be going on a date with the person I like in a week and I don't know how to act without being super awkward and shy.

I'm better at texting than talking,on the phone too then I'm comfortable speaking but it's not going to happen with everyone

My three years old talks with kids well and very talkative at home but she will not talk with other adults. She is just show signs to answer adults. If someone comes and stays at our home over night and plays with her she will get comfortable and start talking with them from then on. She talks with her class teacher and all kids at her class but not to others in school. Not sure how to help her overcome that anxiety

When you went to secondary school, did you find it easy to make friends. I have SM and I am struggling to make friends at my new school

I have had it for 8 years now and i cant get rid of it…

Would u say ur still a shy person or r u comfortable everywhere now

After how long were you ready?

Idk how long but i have selective mutism as well

Did you see a doctor or therapist to help you with it?