Steven Seagal: Certified Tough Guy - JonTron
์์ค ์ฝ๋
- ๊ฒ์์ผ 2020. 07. 31.
- Install Raid for Free โ
IOS: clik.cc/9CX36 โ
ANDROID: clik.cc/9Ku8q โ
PC: clik.cc/b64yV and get a special starter pack ๐ฅ Available only for the next 30 days!
--
Follow JonTron Here:
Instagram: / jontronshow
Twitter: / jontronshow
Business Inquiries:
jontron(at)ellifyagency.com
--
Crew:
Jon Jafari - Director/Editor
Sergio Torres - Director of Photography/Line Producer
Mike Butler - Gaffer/Photography
Lewis Bown - Editor/Writer
Charlotte Jafari - Production Designer - ์ฝ๋ฏธ๋
![[๋ ํผ์ ์ฐ๋ค ์ ๊ณต๊ฐ] ์์์ข ์์ฌํ์ด ๊ฑด๊ฐ์ ์งํค๊ธฐ ์ํด ๋จน๋ ์์นจ ์์ฌ ๋ฉ๋ด๋? ๏ผ๋ฌผ๋ฐฐ๊น์ง ๊ฝ ์ฐจ๊ฑฐ๋ ์๏ผ๐, MBC 240412 ๋ฐฉ์ก](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xQpl9w46lcA/mqdefault.jpg)
Thanks to Raid for sponsoring today's video! You can Install Raid for Free at โ IOS: clik.cc/9CX36 โ ANDROID: clik.cc/9Ku8q โ PC: clik.cc/b64yV and get a special starter pack ๐ฅ Available only for the next 30 days!
R a i d
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Raid Shadow Leggings
No, i don't think i will.
No
He's like that kid in school who has kept lying his way throughout the whole year but since he's too far in now he can't back out
Legit kept thinking "it's like a mom's basement dweller kid found how to bullshit his way into Hollywood because he's the edgiest guy out there"
Are you saying Steven Seagal is going to run for president?
@@Ails1234 yes exactly
Sounds like democrat politicians lol
"look at the way he cleans those dishes. Dude!"
Apparently, Steven Seagal got to Jon and took revenge on him.
What happened to this guy I only watched his flex tape one did he quit KRplus
@@kennynegron3291 nah he just as huge spaces between his uploads thatโs all
@@mikewalker9057 he uploaded last December for that golden Adsense so he might suprise us this year. We will see
@@kynsilok I'm honestly hoping for another Tim Allen Christmas movie special
Let him out to do a goddamn shitty mobile game ad.
โYouโre here to shoot the child, but only the child with the weaponโ
Never fails to crack me up ๐
''Don't make me do this!''
Out of all the hilarious things in this video, it had to be the statement about shooting a kid.
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
There are some things Seagal hasn't done yet:
A)Stay in shape.
B)Make a good movie.
C)Keep it real.
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
MISSING
Jonathan Tronathan
Have you seen this man? He was last seen making fun of Steven Seagal.
Also answers to Timothy Brentwood
He's gone. Steve got him.
sounds like a jojo character
Dam has it really been five months
better get started with turning his subreddit into Scott the Woz's
again
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
"So how did you learn aikido?"
*I started learning karate at a young age*
I would actually love to see this dude having his mask broken. I want to see what he really is like but it feels like he's acting all the time
@@hollow8194 He probably learnt karate at a McDojo
๐ ๐ ๐
๐ You won.
Hahahaha
Iโm really questioning whether or not Seagal is really good at lying or if he actually believes his own bullshit.
Definetly not self- aware atleast
Yes
He's lied so many times that he believes his own lies
Heโs insecure about looking weak because he got bullied as a kid and has asthma apparently
hes in too deep
Seagall's coke nail killed me. Even funnier with the snorts he kept making during the interview because the bump he took. Dude probably thinks he has tigers blood
I was just browsing the comment section hoping that somebody else had pointed this out ๐
Coke nail?
@jamesrosewell9081 it is a fingernail that some people that snort nose suger grow out so that they just scoop it with the nail and snort it. You can pick it up when it is just one long fingernail
He has been growing that coke nail since Under Siege
Steven Seagal the type of guy who has a girlfriend at a different school.
A really really hot one, according to him.
@@megavidaeos we haven't seen any pictures yet, but i trust him, he seems pretty happy with the relationship
Couldnt have said it better.
Terrifyingly accurate
Correct. I met up with him just last week, and he told me all about his new girlfriend at the local high school.
He's kinda like Buzz Lightyear at the beginning of Toy Story when he thinks he's legitimately a space ranger because it said so on his box
If you try to tell him other ways, all it will say on your box is your name, date if birth and death date.
So this video is basically a irl version of toy story where Steven seagal is buzz lightyear and Jontron is woody and it's called guy story?
To infinity and beyond
@@TorusLotus he is the pandemic's minion
@@TorusLotus nah buzz cand do a karate chop and fall with style
He "doesnt think jean claude is a martial artist" meanwhile jean claude is an actual certified black belt, fought on the Belgian karate team and won the European professional karate associations middleweight title, he literally beat the worlds 2nd best karate fighter at one point. This guy is smoking that copium for sure.
He was a martial artist however he let that go when his fame and ego got to him and now he's a sham hiding behind his former glory
@@vendriksondoesthings7911 I found Steven Seagal in the comments guys
Steven Seagal knows karate, aikido, taek wondo, jiu jitsu and many other dangerous words.
The hugging and posing for photos with dictators really says the most about him
What's next, is he going to open CPAC with Victor Orban?
I agree
But To be fair, when it comes to dictators, being impolite can have really fatal consequences
But considering he signed up to meet with them that doesnโt really apply
But if I saw one in public Iโd probably just nod before running away
Me, being an average, curious, non celebrity person... i feel like if i had the possibility of (safely) meeting some of histories most terrible and great people up close: id kinda want to.
Like, if i could meet Ghandi, Putin, Stalin, Washington, Robespierre, Francis of Assisi, Saladin... just to get a greater sense of what humanity is. Are these people really any different than the average person when you just sit down for tea? Is their evil/greatness they cause by circumstantial ambition?
but wanting to meet dictators just because you're famous and you have some ancestry that loosely ties you to those regions makes you kinda weird and icky.
@@Thalesium thanks for understanding, and thanks for noticing my error!
โ@@Soulraven2735you do realize cpac is pretty anti government right?
Raid Shadow Legends sponsorships are the closest we'll ever get to Jon doing Game Reviews again.
Update: I really love Jon's new videos, just thought I'd bring it up.
Update #2: I wouldnโt be surprised if Russia makes a movie about the invasion in the Ukraine and they get Steven Seagal as the Russian โheroโ of the movie.
Sad but true
The truth hurts
๐
Heโs lost the edge he had when he was younger, man. Changed style too.
Just compare his videos from the beginning with these now.
Still happy that he still churns out content though.
Edit: Full stop
@@user-sh4jk5pk6e true, he's inspired a lot of KRplusrs to spawn similar styles
Steven Seagal seems like the kind of guy who lied his way to everything and got too deep that he canโt turn back lol
Glad someone else thinks so as well. Lol
@@PunMister Which "anime" might that be, boss? Lmao
Pun Mister care to share?
Penile Necrosis heโs more like Mr. Satan from Dragon Ball Z.
I think this is what's actualy happen
Nobody makes fun of Steven Seagal better than Steven Seagal.
I think the most underrated part of this video is how Jon nailed how weirdly Seagal runs.
I bet Seagal will see this. He seems like the type of guy to Google himself pretty often.
Apparently that isnโt too far off
Werenโt he one of those guys that couldnโt handle people making fun of him in the past? not like Tom Cruise level but still pretty sensitive.
his mannerisms reminds me A LOT of Trump....super full of himself and not very bright.
@Chef_Hogan Your intuition is not far off the mark
Skull-chan yeah, thereโs a story on KRplus with an actor (I canโt remember his name at the moment). But the sum of it is, he laughed at Steven trying to be a hard ass and Steven hit him against a wall. You can find the story itโs not hard to find at all
No one gonna mention that Putin actually speaks english, but refused to speak english with Seagal?
Oh vlad does this with everyone, unless it's something important then he'll just use a translator
It's pretty hard to express yourself on the same level in a foreign language than in a native language, unless you have a speech prepared. Also, you'd probably expect someone who calls themselves a Russian to speak Russian.
The page I read basically said that he only spoke English during trips to English speaking nations for political reasons
@@mohammadalbader3538 still, that means he is able to. We should also remember that Putin has no normal background, wasn't He in the KGB? Surely people there learn languages.
@@pgreg8528 I believe he was either a KGB agent or leader
We need a part two to the epic saga of Steven Segal. Definitely gotta bring up the infamous pants pooping incident that he vehemently denies to this day.
Bruhhh that sheriff pounding his fingers on the table had me dying๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
He's basically that kid in middle school who took one karate lesson and became an expert on the art of war, except he's been doing it his whole life, and everyone just rolls with it for some reason.
This man has probably been to mars and back because there were no dojos
because he has money
Nah man this guy has been debunked a long time ago. Everyone knows heโs a fraud
We just wanna know what he's gonna do next.
Yes that is so true, he is that kid
Jon, blink twice if Raid: Shadow Legends has your family.
Me:blinks twice
Sam U oh god I was thinking the exact same thing. WE NEED TO HELP JON! Aaaaahhhh
4
John needs our help
The games shit dude but still a man has gotta do something to get money.
14:33 Seagal has proven to be the living example of the quote
"The lights are on but nobody's home"
It's kinda funny that your parody of steven is much more sympathetic than the real one.
He genuinely looks like a custom character in a cutscene when he's with putin
All I have to say is 12:49
Spy
Helo spy teeftoo
@@nrtouge SPAH SAPING MA SENTRY
He looks like a skin i downloaded for gta san andreas from gamebanana when i was a kid
Segal acts like heโs going through a mid-life crisis, but thatโs his whole personality
r/rareinsults ?
Agreed, Segal has been in a mid life crisis his entire life
Good description!
Ya but Hard To Kill is pretty cool tbh.
Dude. You just gave the perfect description I didnโt know existed
11:56 If you look closely, he basically did hit Steven's bullet hole, but he probably pretended like it wasn't close enough, because that would mean that his trainee is as good of a shooter as him.
The whole chopsticks in the guns bit almost killed me, my lawyers will be in contact soon.
I've always felt that Steven Seagal is a parody of himself.
Like Meat Loaf
BondBurney.
Well, after he sold himself for the Russians, he is indeed a parody of himself
Pretty sure heโs a Family Guy cutaway that somehow gained sentience, escaped the cartoon world and killed/replaced the real Steven Segal
aaronsdavis two scoops
Steven Seagal is just a katana neckbeard that made it to Hollywood. Kind of incredible really
I love how he puts an accent on "karate" but still pronounces it wrong.
The perfect description
Fully agree
Thank you for the perfect explanation.
Yeah, when he informed he was scouted not at an actual audition but a carnival show, I could only roll my eyes. I didn't know aikido masters needed to walk everywhere with a swagger to prove they're tough...on account of how peaceful the method is and it just uses the person's momentum against them. Between that and needing the gun, something tells me the gun would be his first method of defense in a fight.
Segal is perhaps the most legendary Green Beret Ranger Special Forces Navy Seal Federal Investigator that ever lived.
Here's a translation of his singing
"Now that you're gon' have to see
I got $700, baby
You ain't gon' remember me"
And then "Everybody knows I'm here!"
The only thing I want in life now is for Steven Seagal to teach Martial Arts to Gwyneth Paltrow, and at the end of the episode they meet up with Dan Akyroyd to drink some Crystal Head Vodka
And they get some leaks and use some flex seal
Then they all workout with OJ
golden and underrated comment
i mean, at least dan akroid sells drinkable vodka in a cool ass bottle. he's crazy but you get what you bought. out of the 3, he's the only one who's not a con artist, he's just a weird guy selling booze. i like like booze.
Mr Worldwide
Later that day, Steven Seagal found Jon and flipped him to death.
I mean, JonTron hasn't uploaded since this video. So I'd ask Steven Seagal.
this is 100% canon, rip jontron
F
Actually they ruled it as a suicide; he flipped himself to death.
@@user-rc3kr6dk8k because Steven segal was at his door
6:49 Never heard Jon laugh like that before
Steven Seagal is like that kid on the playground who makes up crazy stories about himself. he insists that he fought a dinosaur and won
Steven Seagal honestly seems like a character who would be on the simpsons or something as a parody of holywood martial artists
Hes on an episode of southpark thats about him being a pussy amd needing a safespace ๐
@@macharper5352 lol i was about to say that
Johnny Bravo had the best spoof version of Steven Seagal.
L
South Park baby
Sometimes it boggles my mind that Steven Seagal is a real person. Heโs like a character from South Park that came to life
Steven Segal in South Park is equally as ridiculous.
STEVEN SEBOOM BOOM
Steven Seagal is in a South park episode
@@lt187 Season 19 episode "Safe Space".
Sooo true
Steven Frederic Seagal was born in Lansing, Michigan, on April 10, 1952,[12] the son of a medical technician and a mathematics teacher. His mother was of Irish descent, while his father was Jewish.[13] His paternal grandparents were Russian Jewish immigrants.[14] During an interview for the Russian talk show, Let Them Talk, Seagal stated that he has paternal ancestors from the Siberian city of Vladivostok, as well as Belarus and Saint Petersburg. He stated that genetic testing determined that he has Yakut and Buryat ancestry as well.[15]
I rewatch this video periodically. I don't know what it is about it, but it always has me coming back. Quality content.
Why didnโt Putin flip onto his ass when he shook Stevenโs hand??
Best comment I have seen so far.
Putin weights 16 tons. He's pure adamantium.
Thats why he holds his own forearm, its to prevent his killer instinct from activating
LMAO
'Cause Putin is also a martial artist, so he tried to flip Seagal the other way around and they negated the yeet
If cameras were a bit lower, you could've seen the ground crack
August 1, 2020 A man named John Tron went missing after smack talking Steven Seagal
Yes
John must have gotten flipped and then died
Hope he is good
Good to see another trooper in these comments.
Happy to see the boys in the comments remembering our fallen soldier
Aikido is not a fake martial art. The origin of martial arts is not that of fighting, but in the name it itself....art. True aikido masters do hold some ability to use their art for defense, but those like Segall who pretend it is meant to be used as an offensive fighting technique, bring shame and confusion to some the most beautiful forms of human expression.
Yes and no. Aikido was developed by Morihei Ueshiba as a combination of his martial arts studies, religious beliefs and philosophies. Its intended use is as a method of defending oneself while also protecting the attacker from unnecessary harm. According to Wikipedia, the primary objective of aikido is to "overcome oneself instead of cultivating violence or aggressiveness."
So...its like dancing?
@marrow1243 if you see martial arts as a dance...then that is what it is for you. But it can be much more...depending on how far you want to push your limits.
โ@@marrow1243it's actually very good for learning to break falls, good for minimizing damage when you're thrown to the ground in a fight. A good martial artist combines the strengths of many arts to form a wide arsenal hence MMA was born.
@@sneakysnake7695 Oh, thats cool. So is Steven Seagal good at it?
When Steven Seagull was born, the police chiefs of Romania and Nicaragua called his parents to congratulate them on the success. He joined the Romanian special forces at age 6 where he met the CEO of the CIA who hired him to become undercover president of the FBI.
The reason he hasn't made a video in two months is that Steven Seagal tracked him down and killed him
8:01 you wonder why he got shot right here~ itโs just like Bruceโs son!
what the f-
That's so sad, RIP in peace John Tron
no it's because Raid shadow legends has him and his family hostage
being a jontron fan represented by spongebob *****spongebob by the mailbox***** IM WAITING, IM WAITING, IM WAITING *****patrick walks up***** WE'RE WAITING, WE'RE WAITING, WE'RE WAITING
The fact that Steven Seagal learned martial arts from a short order cook in a back alley explains EVERYTHING.
seems like he's the type of guy who'll copy any movie he sees
Despite being a fake martial artist, he's still had good acting in some movies. His current endeavors are questionable, though. Least he's not getting cancelled.
That doesn't mean anything just someone's a short order cook doesn't mean they can't know martial arts you can't define somebody by their job title
@@borsemusic9928 True but when the result is Steven Seagal it all starts adding up.
When you say it like that it sounds like you are saying he isn't a real tough guy, better watch your back lol
Jontron's portrayal of Steven Seagal is more accurate than Steven himself.
Coincidentally - Steven Segal was also called by the coroner when Alec Baldwin shot that one woman on set as well. Sure enough, he struck gold again. It WAS, in fact, a bullet.
so, is he just gonna disappear for another 12 months then come out with "Steven Seagal: Certified Tough Guy 2"
And then disappear again
@@BladeStorm4497Nah he's gonna do quality content at a refreshing pace for like 8 months before leaving for a full year. This is the cycle of Jon.
@@gwenpolo1307 It's a disappointing one. Glad I dont pay him.
Nah flex tape 3
I'd actually be down for that...i highly enjoyed this video
Seagal's hair looks like Mickey Mouse's head without the ears.
I am ashamed to say I nearly pissed myself laughing at this comment. Amazing work.
there are reason why moive industy don't hire him anymore..
campkira yes sir and that reason is theyโd get sued for copyright for using Mickey Mouseโs likeness
Tattoos never fall out or turn grey.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Imagine you go to the park and Jontron is there dressed as fuckin Steven Seagal
3:32 Is my favourite JonTron laugh ever. It makes me grin without fail.
Iโm worried: Jon smack talked Steven Seagal and we havenโt heard from him since. I hope he hasnโt roughed him up too badly.
Yeah I hope Seagal's alright.
yeah
@@KenLinx Ouch..
I think hes dead
Nah, this is normal for him to suddenly disappear for a long time. He's still alive based off his Twitter feed (December 19th). So don't worry about it.
Steven Seagal is the coolest, toughest, most talented and interesting person in the world, according to Steven Seagal.
The Steven Seagal when Harry Met Sally skit on SNL is a gem if you havenโt seen it
Yet he looks like an absolute and complete mong
And dangerously high in saturated fat and fructose
He's nowhere near as cool as RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS!
*sniff*
Segal is truly a legend in his own mind
I think there's a saying that you can judge a man by the company they keep. So Seagal being friends with Putin and Lukashenko really speaks for itself
I feel Steven Seagal is almost doing a better job parodying himself than Jontron
I dunno man, Jontron does a pretty mean job of parodying himself too.
This does feel watered down. Diet Jontron.
He is like a GTA Character IRL.
Keyword: _Almost_
God Bless Your Perfection
Kind of worrying that jon disappears after he talks shit about steven seagal
He is active on his twitter... :-)
@@rdlegends3988 oh really? I dont have twitter whats he up to
@@redmenace5552 training to fight Steven seagal
I think he doesn't want to feel pressured to make videos
Steven flipped him like a pancake
17:04 this just shows how narcissistic he is. He's totally out of touch with reality " oh you're amazing!" LMAOOO
Aikido was originally a hand based technique used to prohibit your opponent from drawing their sword. It was useful and fairly effective provided it was used in the right context.
โYouโre here to shoot the child but only the child with the weaponโ -Steven Seagall -JonTron
I lost it at that line ๐
The funny part is itโs true
Timbuk204 use gun on child with gun
-Timbuk204
-Wayne Greztkey
-Michael Scott
I'm terrified that JonTron just turned around and got a perfect headshot on that paper dummy- The power this man has
Lmao
Nooo I had the nice amount of likes but several people liked at the same time!
GAMER
With his luck it probably was shot in just one take too
He did my dear, he did
3:32 ๐๐๐ I absolutely loved that part of Steven Seagal โsingingโ (if you can call it that). I canโt help but crack up every time I see it and I have to go back and watch it several times ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
Hopefully Jon remembered that it's his 10th year on youtube and he's taking his time making an epic anniversary video.
Ya I'd say you're right, I'm getting my hopes ups for a massive collaboration.
He already missed it by 4 months, Iโm losing hope
Sigal probably found him after this.
Probably not
Covid
Steven seagal looks like a deepfake of himself on himself
Johntron dressed up as Steven seagal looks more like Steven seagal than Steven seagal looks like Steven seagal
It's like his face was on his body
Even his face looks out of place on his body
He can't just not look out of place
@@jc329co3
I say he looks more like Sam Hyde
I assume it's because we cannot comprehend an "accomplished" "actor" acting in such a way....but yet....beHOLD!!!
This is the first video ive seen on this channel. I havent laughed since 97. This dude had me in stitches. Def subscribed. Keep it up.
I met a guy who talked about how he was checking out different martial arts by taking classes from several schools. The Aikido sensei was older but he still wanted to see what would happen if he snuck up and tried to tap his head from behind. He said he doesn't know what happened by he's sure at some point he was completely in the air and then he was peacefully laying on the ground looking up at the sensei. Since then I've thought that's actually a cool way to test such masters.
โYouโre here to shoot the childโฆ but only the child with the gunโ
I was fucking dying
Much like the child?
@@jawwer12.. but only the child with the weapon
9:00
Where you the child with the gun?
Don't make me do this!
And the wild jontron returns to his cave to hibernate once more.
But seriously, where is he at?
@@Joebama1911 Seagal and OJ "got even with him".
And to inhale MAGA copium
@@rakelodakel Twitter mob, eh? Why are you even here if you hate him so much? All it takes is just a single press on the โIgnore this Channelโ button, my guy.
@@LocalGuardsman no
Why is the visual of Steven segall playing on the swings with a stongebob ice cream from the ice cream truck literally the perfect description of my view of him๐๐๐
The playground part woth the ice cream truck had me in chuckles, but when the arm fell off i absolute lost it. Damn i have missed watching Jon vids ๐
Fun Fact, Sylvester Stallone has told a story of Seagal being a prick at a house party, and Van Damme called him out on it, saying he wanted to take it outside. Seagall then immediately got into his car and drove away. Van Damme followed him to a bar, and gave him the offer again, to which Seagall once again left.
Van Damme would destroy Seagal! Even looking at them today you can see Van Damme is in better fighting shape.
??? I need to see this
and van damme doesn't even need cocaine to defeat segal
You idiots. VD wouldnโt even touch him. He is the only westerner to TEACH aikido in Japan. VD knows his shit, he really does, but S is actually a master. As to why aikido looks false google it and you will understand. Itโs all about that split second action, the momentum acts after that, if you done it well itโs over.
@@konstantinosmas3950 also hes a reincarnated Buddha
Jonโs been real silent since he talked smack about Steven
True
O no
OH DAMMMM
*he's come for him*
Zoo race waa his last good video
Jon: How exactly do you wash a dish in a fashion that will impress a martial arts master?
My mind: โฆwax on, wax offโฆ
Oh geez, this was the funniest one ever! My sides were hurting. Thxs man.
Steven Seagal is that guy in high school who said he was a physcopath and that he could kill someone, but is scared to ask a waiter for water at a restaurant
There's a perfectly reasonable explanation. Obviously the act of asking for water at a restaurant, when performed by someone such as Steven, would cause the waiter's heart to stop out of fear. His schi (that's steven-chi, for those uninitiated) is so honed by his years of practice in Aistevedo that simply looking in someone's direction for any extended period of time could cause them to age rapidly (hence his schi blocking sunglasses, as seen in his meetings with Vlad and that Watermelon guy).
But yeah....I think you're probably right.
unfortunately that was me back in middle school
@@keane6 i have nothing to say besides... oof
Too scared to ask for water but not too scared to basically molest woman under the guise of a "massage"
Heโs the type that would wear a trench coat and would act like he could kick a football players ass, but instead gets beat up behind a garbage bin.
The only thing Steven Seagull is fighting now is diabetes.
Holy shit you fucking killed him dude
Talking about diabetes is Wilford brimley still alive?๐ค
Oof
Travis McDowell Wilfred Brimley (dead) is still alive, yes.
Edit:
Jinxed it
And judging by his finger nails, a fungal infection as well.
5:41 jontron unintentionally sounding like niko bellic
That rubber arm is 100% comedic gold! I love it . Jon: Goes on hiatus again."I don't like where this is going".
Another fun fact about Steven Seagal, He once got choked out by a martial artist on set and shit his pants. True story look it up.
Wasnt it by Judo legend Gene Lebel?
And this was after he claimed his martial arts training made him immune to chokeholds
Iโm so not surprised but still some good new info. Michael Jay White and JCVD would kick his teeth in with a hand tied behind their back. Seagal and Chuck Noris are the most overrated jokes on the planet. They have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
@@TBoneBG you would be wrong about Chuck Norris actually. If anything Chuck is better than Steven Seagal, because Chuck has actually mastered several forms of martial arts instead of just one like Seagal. Search up his history, he wasn't even meant to be an actor, he just happened to get some luck. Seagal Is truly the joke here.
@@TBoneBG yeah and to add what the other guy said chuck would actually very frequently visit and spar and train with bruce lee tho chuck being a tough guy never admits to being trained under him but still even just sparing with the great bruce lee for two years is more then the hack steven seagal could say he has done
Jontron really perfected the role of Steven seagal by showing how tough he is by biting that spongepop
Ice cream, pizza, donuts, beer, burgers, carrots, watermelon.. they all don't stand a chance against Steven Sagal!
Ooh I didnโt even think of that. Now my teeth hurt, thanks
This is perfect for the top because as soon as those credits roll you go down to the comments and see this
I am a martial arts Master and want to get in contact with him. Those are teeth meant for martial arts.
you just flip a guy๐ you just throw a guy๐this is perfect definition of aikidoโค
He was seriously trying to reign himself in with those coke drips he was getting every time he sniffed and swallowed. ๐
โSo basically, this guy is a guyโ me explaining to my teacher the protagonist of my story
"Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes."
Me explaining to my Dad the white middle aged man with black hair that's an alcoholic and a mass murderer I play as in every RPG.
I mean...the Everyman is a trope right? Still works.
Same
Yes
He's like the kid in middle school who swears his dad's a navy SEAL but everyone just feels bad for him because his dad's actually a crackhead.
That's fucking dark bro.
Oh shitttt my mouth dropped
Nah heโs more like the kid whoโs dad is in jail for something stupid and ridiculous but the kid plays it up as his dad got arrested for being a major drug kingpin
You sir have won funniest comment of the video award
The kid then grew up to be the same dad he once had.
I donโt think I'd trust Stephen Segal to tell me the details about Brandon Lee's death. I'll stick to what's been said by the crew and coroner.
Iโll never forget it. My mom had a friend of a friend come over to help with something and we got to talking.
The subject of martial arts was brought up and it turned out he was well versed in Aikido.
We get to talking some more and he explains how it works, yata-yata-yata, he starts to show me some moves.
One such demonstration he wanted me to throw a punch at him slowly. In martial arts demonstrations, itโs usually not a problem to go at a slower pace so you can better analyze the technique.
What he didnโt know was that I had a modest background in boxing. In boxing youโre taught to lead with your left rather than your right. So, in slow motion, I throw a jab with my left.
This startled him so much that he had to straight up stop the demonstration and ask me if I was left handed. I told him no but I knew some boxing.
So he explains that most guys throw punches with their right hand, so he straight up wants to start over but this time, he instructs me to throw with my right.
At the time, I didnโt think much of it, but now that I know much more about fighting, that was really pathetic.
Your โmartial artโ trains you so repetitively and monotonously that your reflexes are dulled to the point that you cannot even process something happening in SLOW MOTION.
If your martial arts school only does demonstrations without letting you spar, youโre not fighting, youโre doing choreography.
Karate is a big offender too in some cases. Many dojos donโt allow their students to spar because โthe techniques are too dangerousโ. So, when they go and pick a fight, they get their asses handed to them because their opponent wasnโt as complicit with being attacked as their dance partners were.
Heโs like a human multi-tool, that doesnโt work well with anything.
more like just a human tool
So a dummy waiting for the ventriloquist to operate him
Or at all xd
A Swiss army knife created in Pakistan.
So a hammer with a Swiss cross
I like how Steven Seagal, man who thinks heโs dangerous, met Putin, an actual dangerous man.
Welp quite the odds
One sneeze can get you into the gulags
This Steven guy got lucky
Exactly
Ah yes puntin and stenven seabel
Putin was KGB and FSB
This video was the highlight of my day. The part with the hand hitting the table had my dying ๐คฃ๐คฃ
Dude! You have me honestly laughing!!! Thanks brother! Please, carry on!
Regarding his comments about Jean-Claude Van Damme, This is from Wikipedia:
"In 2008, actor Sylvester Stallone declared to the British magazine FHM that "At a party in my home in Miami in 1997, Van Damme was tired of Seagal claiming he could kick his ass so he offered Seagal outside into my back yard." According to Stallone, Seagal made his excuses and left while Van Damme tracked him down at a nightclub and challenged him again. Stallone finished by stating "Van Damme was too strong. Seagal wanted none of it."[82]"
Lmao
harry delgato well duh, everyone knows The Expendables is based on a true story as told by Stallone.
Say what you want about Van Dam's movies but the guy has balls.
+
As much as I enjoy both of their movies, I'd place my money on Jean Claude
Never seen a man so devoid of charisma he sucks the charm out of everything around him.
There's no fun, then there's ANTI-fun.
Not very nice to say that about Jon.
He doesn't suck the charisma, he destroys the charisma
I have. My dad.
Daniel 28893 he makes the charisma flip itself over during a โfightโ
This is gold.... I had a good laugh thanks.
Steven Seagal knows Karate, Judo, Jujitso, Kung Fu and at least 20 other dangerous words
It's impressive how he manages to look lost and confused no matter where he is.
even in his own house
Remember when Steven Seagal said he was immune to choke holds, then he got choked out and shat himself.
Really?!?! Does anyone have a link to that?
No, I don't believe I was there for that one.
I donโt have a link just saw it in an article a while ago
No no, you miss the funniest part: He told a guy that he had a move that could get him out of any chokehold. So our fellow obliged, put him in a chokehold, and Steven tried to punch him in the testicles. It didn't work, so his BACKUP PLAN was deliberately shitting himself.
@@WMarcilVA Brilliant move, wouldn't work against someone really determined to hold you though.
One of my all time favorite videos on youtube. I ALWAYS giggle
Steven Seagull looks and sounds like he's remembering and forgetting everything every second.
Thats because hes making it up ;)
well he has to remember what he made up many years ago