You're Not Crazy: Pandemic Paranoia Is A Real Thing
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- 게시일 2021. 02. 23.
- According to the experts at CNN, it's perfectly normal to be feeling a little paranoid after 11 months of pandemic lockdown. So to whomever at NASA decided to embed secret messages inside the Mars rover's parachute, you're not helping! We have enough conspiracy theories flying around here on Earth. #Colbert #Mars #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes. - 엔터테인먼트
![[여고추리반3] 순한 맛 뒤에 마라 맛이 숨어있는 학교생활 | 4분 하이라이트 | TVING](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6Wv9UEpFRNU/mqdefault.jpg)
![[#무도] 아주 까~아아아암짝❗ 놀랄만한 명수의 이해력에 답답해 죽는 준하🤣 보너스 형 명수의 수난시대💦 '숫자 야구' 2편 MBC130209방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/PhZRdWr6GyA/mqdefault.jpg)
Is it just me or are Colbert's shows better when it's just him and no audience, clapping, cheering except for the occasional laugh/giggle from staff or his wife.
I do miss the band being there, but the lack of audience is a definite improvement !
It's not just you!!!!!!!, but ha no band is sad
@Zuma Zuma ya I suppose so, I mean Trevor's game is strong but Stevens elements episodes were weird
I am honestly enjoying late night TV more without the audience.
@@jellomiki Having the full band there would be a great touch as they are just as much a key element as Stephen himself but the ear mush of a thousand random ppl drowning out the end of each joke is not missed at all by me
Colbert is killing it, despite the fact that he’s been without an audience for almost a year now. It just goes to show that it’s more about strong writing and a good host than having people there to laugh at every punchline!
Trevor Noah is still without an audience too.
The background laughter by the staff is much more fun!
@@LeeBee-hs6mj Touche! His writing hasn’t been as good as Colbert
John and Trevor are still alone too. Wonder what they all have in common 😂
Kimmel kills it each and every night as well.
I love it when it’s just Stephen, his staff and his wife. Her giggles and his sincerity and jokes get me through the day.
To be honest I feel like now he's going to have to have his wife in the studio because we are also used to her cute sweet little laugh in the background or her little giggle and when they flip the camera on her smile is so real I just love it! Don't know that she wants to be part of the show in the future but I think she should be on set from now on
Nothing says "I'm innocent" like refusing to be served for a lawsuit.
Yup.
Fitting username too lmao
And I could be wrong, but doesn't that not actually work, at some point you've been avoiding long enough that you were on enough notice.
Lol, a few days ago he said he was excited for the discovery phase.
lol oh come on now lets be real. No one sane, wants to see, here, or talk to a dude trying to make a legal hedach final. Except maybe thedonald .
I suffer from depression and Stephen is one of the few people that can make me laugh and forget about my problems.
Same here
Same
When I was depressed this summer, he helped immensely
I can definitely relate
I concur, I'd like to offer, if it's not too forward, to try shows called The IT Crowd, Father Ted, and Black Books. All directed and created by a man named Graham Linehan. Several years ago, during some trying times, these shows got me through. Never been the type to drown sorrows in fiction, but hey... Here I am. Seriously, especially The IT Crowd cheered me right up. All 3 shows should be available free on KRplus, I'd recommend "the work outing" for it crowd, "Manny's gone home" for Black Books, and "are you right there, father Ted?" For, well, Father Ted. Cheers and best regards to all you folks 😁👌
Been waiting over 4 years to have an entire monologue without any trump references.
It's finally here, and we should all be celebrating!
Ive been saying this to wife. Ahe also noticed this yesterday watching Seth Meyers
@Dale hauk I miss copter talk the same way I'm going to miss quarantinewhile....NOT AT ALL!
That was to deflect things like Cuomo’s Nursing home death camps, no wars for 4 years, energy independence, record markets, record employment, record economy, record employment in every racial demographic, repatriation of trillions in common sense corporate tax rates (now on par with Scandinavian rates), return if US mfg, record trade deals, peace deals with Israel and dozen Arab nations, brilliantly exempting and avoiding the couple terrorist entities that even prey on peaceful Arab states, no ISIS, No Soleimani, No al qaeda, record home prices, NATO fully funded first time in history, etc. etc etc.
, .. And you all fell for it! (Now you’re paying for it at the pump, already, OPEC and Putin handed the world’s energy markets without a fight, and get ready for more deployments protecting or securing foreign oil, by Joementia and his band of puppeteers.
It's so wonderful
That's what actually made this one funny. Its been a long time obsessing over that moron.
"...Thousands of pounds of amazon rainforest, that are now amazon boxes" -- So good 🤣🤣
I love how Stephen’s wife giggles in the background.
I don't know why, but that story about Guiliani played out in my head as if I was watching a Mr Magoo cartoon.
I just LOVE the barely audible giggles in the background.
almost better than chocolate
I'm perfectly OK with never returning to the Ed Sullivan theater to keep those alone.
Me too.. That's one of my favorite things on Colbert's shows now :)
I worked in retail for years and, honestly, there are days where you'll take anything short of death to not go back into that store.
Christmas Eve.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"You want the greenest vehicle possible when you're delivering thousands of pounds of Amazon rainforest that are now Amazon boxes."
Fucking profound
Yeh
Why mail needs to be delivered 6 days a week is so unnecessary.
I know. All mail workers should be put in jail.
Every time he says "WELCOME TO THE LATE SHOW!" And sips his coffee, I know I'm about to getaway for a while. I love his insight, and I've had an ENORMOUS amount of respect for him ever since his monologue AFTER the insurrection. I'll NEVER forget the dissapointment and CONCERN in his tone, it alerted me to KEEP UP with crucial current events. His clever commentary on HEAVY stuff is such a great take on the chaos we've called home the past year. It brings light to me every week night & is now a routine. Thank you, Stephen Colbert. You ease MY manic depressive paranoia lol✨✨
EXACTLY .LOVE HIM💙💙💙
Coffee?
Amen!
Good stuff👍 But just a slight correction… He doesn’t say “THE” anymore... He says Welcome To “A“ Late Show🤷🏽♀️ I’ve always wondered if I missed him explaining why he changed it during this pandemic🤔😊
I love the way he cracks his wife up (giggling in the background).
“That’s a level of ingenuity and resourcefulness I’m guess you don’t put in at work” 🤣🤣
😂😁🤣
"How do you tie your hands behind your own back?"
Every BDSMer: *whistles*
Oh hell. As a kid who grew up during the height of "jiggle" TV, I figured it out at 7. Not sure what my parents thought.
I'm sorry but I giggled when I read this....
69th liker
Two hands?
Uh huh!
Paranoia? Well, that just confirms all my suspicions
😂😂😂
Lol
🧐
Anyone questioning why the guy kidnapped himself to get out of work has clearly never worked retail
Or, in any other toxic work situation.
@@aought2 Legit.
Right? Retail is hell, my question would be - How big of an asshole is that kid's boss??
@@AuntieCreed It seems like more effort to fake his own kidnapping than going to work or finding another job. Pretty odd.
he could have said he tested positive or quit, instead of going through all that
“Who put this mic on me? I did? I must be in on it!” Roflmfao! Epic win! Hahahaha
"Sorry about the slow service; several of our employees called in to say they'd been kidnapped."
Rudy: Damn law suit. I need to find a good lawyer.
Driver: You could represent yourself.
Rudy: Didn't you hear what I just said? I said "a good lawyer."!
It's common knowledge that only a fool represents themselves, so I wouldn't count him out just yet.
LOL that's the best yet!
@@Rodomist Even if he weren't a fool, he may not have much choice; seems a lot of attorneys won't touch any case associated with his defense
A fool.
I wonder if he has a cousin named Vinnie?
Colbert is such a treasure, always brings a smile to my face.
colbert to late night is grohl to rock is jackblack to comedy. i need all three of them in my life to maintain the delicate balance that is sanity.
Stephen’s show is now like a snarky Stand- up session I can watch almost EVERY DAY while sitting drinking keto coffee at my kitchen table, dressed in my skivvies, as the cats stare at me from the kitchen counter with serious questions in their eyes about how close Mama is to the edge......I vote yes!!
😄 God bless Claudia!!
You're living the high life, lol. Stay safe. 😁💕
Just get rid of the worthless cats..... unless they catch mice
"He could've just called his boss and told them he has a fever!"
No, for a LOT of Americans that really isn't an option. I've known several foodservice employees who were forced to work while so sick they were VOMITING, and one left despite being told to remain at work and was fired that day. Hell, I had a white collar job previously which required a doctor's note for any sick time, and would fire employees who couldn't provide one.
It seems like you haven't worked a "normal" job in a very long time Stephen.
I clearly remember making burritos with a temp of 102 at taco bell in my teens. I no doubt gave hundreds of people that year's swine flu.
Truth, when I worked at Wendy’s and was forced to go in while noticeably sick, my boss made me tell customers who asked that I had allergies/hay fever
I don't know why you would think that he has
@AMT people who tell us they're "fighting for our freedom" while pocketing bribes from millionares and corporations.
Thank you! Came to comment section for this. Love Colbert, but many of us can't "just use a sick day."
"Insanity in individuals is rare, but in groups, parties and Nations, it is the rule!" - Nietzsche.
@Technijoker Corporation I just heard Andy samberg doing an impression of Nicholas cage saying "that's high praise!"
@Technijoker Corporation that, my friend, was hilarious.
It's such a strange quote from Nietzsche, considering that (thanks to a lack of effective mental health treatments and truly rampant syphilis in his part of the world at that time)
He lived in a time when many, many people were totally incapacitated by mental illness.
It was not rare at all.
He himself had a complete breakdown at 44, sending delusional letters to his friends, and never recovered, spending the rest of his life in mental hospitals and then in the total care of his mother and sister.
Donnie and Jr. incited, pure and simple and Guliani pushed the button...no one seems to have the balls to take responsibiliy. Insaninity, doubtful, reckless abandon by spoiled children more likely.
@Technijoker Corporation Fun Freddy was a huge party boy.
Some say dancing in his cage influenced much of his writing. 🤫
The parachute is lots of fun until a Martian forgets to carry a 2, reports to their leader that it says something about his mother, and the Interplanetary Wars begin.
And they send an army of Martian warships to invade earth, but due to a horrible miscalculation of scale, the entire fleet gets swallowed by a small dog.
@@Dachusblot You just made my day.
Suffer not the xenos! Our solver system is for our species only!
alternatively the Martian fleet lands, spends a few weeks adjusting to earth's gravity, starts marching their death robots around, catch covid, and then die.
Don't worry, the Doctor will come along and straighten out any misunderstanding 😁
Hearing the Rudy shenanigans, I'm picturing that movie "Catch Me If You Can" with Hanks as the server and DiCaprio as Rudy.
I think it should be illegal to interfere with someone serving legal documents, like that doorman and Rudy's security that unblocked his door should see jail time for that.
But then you'd have to process-serve the guy who prevented the process-serving, and then the guy who prevented that process-serving, and so on.
@@nathanielhellerstein5871 Dear god...you're right!
@@nathanielhellerstein5871 no, that’s not serving the papers...it’s executing a warrant.
@@Chunkboi Either way it's creating jobs with the increased need for warrant delivery people.
@@RowdyBoy82 they’re called police officers.
Im a canadian nobody, and I knew what was gonna happen on january 6th, so I'm pretty sure they knew.
I am an Aussie, and while i didn't know exactly, i had a strong desire to warn everyone to stay home that day. I knew the crazies would be out and that people would be in danger for their political beliefs. I did nit foresee those people being the country's lawmakers.
Exactly. Everything that happened up to that point pointed to something like this.
Anyone with internet knew.
They knew!
Oh, they knew. 100%. It was all over the place beforehand. I just didn't know there would be so many of them!
That's funny about the guy staging his own kidnapping bc years ago I was managing a Blockbuster and my assistant closed and opened the next day, so he put the deposit in the safe that night but the next morning he staged that he was robbed by gun point, the police found a wire transfer for his car payment and the checks still in his truck. To top it off, it was his cousin that arrested him.
Outstanding!!!
Not the smartest criminal then?
Was banjo music playing?
@@Sasha-Louise A close second.
@mary jones It must of been 2 for 1 Day.
I also suffer from isolation and depression. Delighted to have Steven Colbert. Thank you.
Anybody remember when people thought you could find hidden
messages by playing certain
records backwards?
I remember wondering who had stereos that played records backward
In the 80's they quit playing music in stores because dorks thought there were "subliminal messages" in store music systems causing people to spend more.
I shit you not.
Shout out to anyone who went into this pandemic already struggling with depression, ptsd, isolation, and any other situation that can feel unbearable enough on its own sometimes. I genuinely had no plans to live to 2021. I’m glad I did (even though my unemployment took until December to be approved), and I’m glad the person reading this did, too.
Hugs, and thank you 🤗
Thank you, we’re glad you lived too.
Social anxiety, PTSD, insomnia and depression way before this started
Thank you for thinking about us
I'm happy and hopeful for you. Enjoy 2021 as best you can. We can do this!
congrats on making it through. glad you're here today!
Hey, I think we all just need to laugh like a lot more. Glad this guy is helping people
What guy? Shirley is clearly an old black woman. Has anyone seen Sarah, though?
aww isn't it nice when people appreciate someone helping...good for you
We all need a pay rise 😂💯🎯 the less 5 years have breaking my well to believe in government and leadership around the world 🌎
I dunno... Paranoia doesn't seem as bad as having a member of your household who ignores the facts and danger of the pandemic... THAT is causing me serious mental anguish.
CloudsGirl7... YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!! My daughter and I used to be "tight " in a loving relationship.. then she "drank the koolaid" and it's like losing another family member ..and sad, beyond sad. Be blessed. Be well. and thank you for sharing.. and again. not that helpful, I know.. but YOU ARE NOT ALONE.. Stay strong!!!🎯
😷👌🌈
"There is more than one flavor of Moutain Dew?", asks a German guy somewhat sincerely.
🤣🤣🤣 I'd like to know too... from South Africa 🇿🇦 The dew is the bomb 😉
Show writers are crushing it. Needed these laughs, thank you.
Damn one of the things I really miss is stephen impersonating trumps tweets - “Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.” 😂
If Eric Trump stops making news, and Colbert stops his impersonations, I’m going into withdrawal.
@@ivanobar1 😂😂
Holy crap, that is so crazy! I said almost the exact same thing last night! Great minds really do think alike. 👍😉
Why did I read the "Dots" in his impersonation of trump
@@tbynum1687 Not sure I'm no expert, but perhaps its a kind of optical association? Multiple uses of the same word might result in someone seeing the word 'transform'. If someone's got a more Scientifically accurate answer then I'm all ears. Until then that's my best layman's guesstament.
9:16 "That's a level of ingenuity and resourcefulness that I'm guessing you don't put In at work."
BURN! 🔥🔥😂
Self-kidnapping guy was clearly not having a Good Year, was just Tired of his job!
😄👍
🤣😁😂Very punny😅😂🤣
Oh thank God. I coulda swore I was completely bonkers 🤣
I think Fred Flintstone had the only truly green vehicle...way ahead of his time!
And the greenest shoes... custom made 😂
Ford made a car out of weed in 1941. There's video of it on KRplus.
Also, look at the 2008 Lotus Eco Elise, also made from weed.
😕 Ah, yea! So "ahead of it's time" it's still ain't time yet! 😂 I need my feet.
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."
K, Men in Black
You need, many more likes than this.👏🏼
Best comment cause it's beyond true.
Perfect
While I miss the roars of laughter from a live audience, hearing a producer giggle uncontrollably in the background after a good joke just warms the soul 🥰😆
There's something goofy about a legal system where you can avoid a lawsuit for days just by running away from the process server. "Sorry, we can't start the lawsuit, our server hasn't won his game of 'tag" yet."
That should count as obstruction of justice, one would think.
No bud, there's a clause in it that if they attempt for like 3 times, *the judge could/will just waive that part and continue on with the proceedings* ,so Rudy Caludy can run all he wants, his ass is still toast lol
@@dkayflowers79 From who is Rudy Giuliani "running"? He's old and fat and slow and dumb, yet he's eluding trained professionals who can't simply turn on a tv and say, "Oh, he's at the Fox News studio."
I get the feeling that this is a holdover from 18th century British law, though I imagine that also included an exemption for afternoon tea.
I want to see Tag 2, a movie where Jeremy Renner chases down Rudi 😁
Love Stephen plugging The Marksman after dissing it in a previous monologue. That's good damage control!
The one thing that these times has caused according to my dentist, is lots of people are grinding/clutching they're teeth and having cracks and breakage. That's what happened to me!
Agreed 😟😟😟💙💙💙🙏🙏🙏
Moved to teleworking in May. I cannot express how much happier I am to avoid the daily office drama and ignorance of collegues and administration. Yes, I work longer and they get more work out of me but the quality time is precious!
❤ DOWN WITH OFFICE IGNORANCE!!
I'm gonna be so sad when the crowds return to the show.
Stephen on his own is fantastic.
That guy must've been under a lot of pressure at that tire shop. Either that, or he's inherently unbalanced.
I see what you did there.
(whispers to self)
"I must be in on it."
😳 Wow! THAT was brilliant! 👋👋👋👋👋👋
My mother delivers mail. So many still haven't gotten their old "new trucks" that have the A/C and heat in it. They really suffer during extreme weather
Wow. That's awful.
Is this a third-world country? It's ridiculous in this day & age. Hopefully now the idiot who's been running the postal system is gone, things might improve.
Has anyone else been watching Stephen's monologues two or three times this year? His good mood has me laughing out loud again 🤣
Stepehen's impression of Hannibal Lecter alone was enough to make me pee myself
Talk to your doctor.
if you were his wife, that room would flood.
Comedy gold.
He does creepy really well. Stephen was the criminal in an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent.
@@meowverwhelmed1373 Which episode?
I love that Evie chuckles and laughs at even his luke warm funny stuff.
My husband is a jealous man. He's sensitive. Once I said, " gotta go, my boyfriend is on!" Your boyfriend??? "Steven COLBERT!" Oh... I get it♥️.
Next time I said, gotta go, my boyfraaa, I mean Steven col--, my husband says, " that's okay, I get it".
Now he says, your boyfriend is on..hurry!
Now I have a husband and a boyfriend, I I wish he could keep this format forever. Just him, and Evie giggling in the background❤️
@@evewhittenburg573 think about Evie. she has to share her husband with so many others. he even kissed dudes like Andrew Garfield and they both liked it^^
@@granville7 oh no! Poor Evie🥺
😄👍
I would def watch a Rudy Guiliani reality show. Between trying to unlock his phone at the Apple Store, planning the Four Seasons Total Landscaping presser, and that whole Hotel Room Tuck In, that s*** would be hilarious! 😅😂
“It’s always sunny in Guiliani’s head!”
That man is a hot mess.
The secret messages are very smart; they will have people looking out for them which means more interest in what they're doing. Curiosity is what moves our species forward.
This man did not fake anything; he straight up abducted himself.
Steven's wife should remain there!♥️ To hear her laughing and snickering about his jokes and looks, is so honest and real.
We'd be turned off if there ever would be a full audience, clapping& responding for every little thing again... drowning her realness out... 🤔😱
This setup shows the pure comedic and Intelligence that can make for an excellent show! Steven Colbert, you are wonderful... Or is he? 🤓👍🥳
Sorry boss can’t make it today I have a mugging I have to get ready for...😂🤣😂
Rudy also tried to elude process servers by wearing a wig of cornrows and braids. 😄
ah, the Federline look.
Stephen: "Do not Google...double Johnson."
Me: Googling "double Johnson."
Me, 5 seconds later: "Well, that was a bit of a letdown."
getting a double kill in CoD... I was expecting a really kinky way to bang two dudes what a bummer.
spoiler alert - you get wholesome pictures of the rock and his stunt double :)
Yeah, I got this "Double Johnson filtrations for mapping class groups".
One of the definitions in urban dictionary was ""2 kills in call of duty".
Yeah... 😒
🤣🤣🤣
@@bezretmet That's *exactly* what went through my head!
"I must be in on it?" Lmgdfao!
Stephen colbert and the show's writers help me feel like I'm not only one who feels the ways I do about things going on because if I couldn't laugh I'd probably cry
Therapist: On a scale of 1-10, how paranoid do you think you've become?
Me: I feel safer holding a drink made by Bill Cosby sitting next to Carol Baskin and OJ Simpson in a tiger cage than I do some of my own Trump Supporting relatives.
Therapist:...
@@xionmemoria - Damn that is beyond insane. I hope your cousin can get some help.
@@xionmemoria That is way past crazy, it is criminal. You need to report it for the sake of your. cousin, her husband, and their daughter.
@@xionmemoria That is horrifying. What a terrible thing for them do to.
@@xionmemoria thats disturbing, I bet the family were involved in all the costs/expenses of the baby right? Yeah right.... didnt think so. Gross. 🤢
"I must be in on it" LoL Stephan looks like he needs to be in a straight jacket!
"...If you're looking for more reasons to feel paranoid, then remember...."
...My internet cut off at that exact moment. Remember what?! What am I supposed to remember?! XD
Let me get this straight: Rudy's response to being served was nearly killing a dude but his response to his cousin was "marry her"?
Priorities.
His are skewed.
Seth Meyers would approve of this comment!😂🤣😂
Aww, you're really pretty!
'Second' cousin... 😂
gross, totally disgusting, for sure. but response to what re: his cousin? what did she do that pissed him off? I actually haven't heard anything about it yet.
That paranoia rant has me lmfao, Ive had 110% of those thoughts 😂
I love that the nerds at NASA are hiding messages. That just makes me so happy.
"I must be in on it." I almost choked to death laughing. Yes Stephen you are in on it.
Unfortunately, us essential workers--you know, the ones who get paid the least--have absolutely no idea what "Pandemic Paranoia" even means. We've had to go to work since this BS started.
I'm sorry and thank you and they need to make that up to you guys.
You are the real heros, but this was YOUR time to demand a union/better wages for yourselves. A full on general strike at the beginning of all this would've gotten you everything you deserve
I dunno. Having to show up at work three times a week by riding public transportation has me pretty unwilling to take any other chances.
@@anthonybha4510 Not always an option. There are state laws that deny some workers the right to strike.
Lucky you.
Rudy is comedy gold! I'd give anything to see how he dodged the lawsuit people in the way it was described!
They should get Sacha Baron Cohen to serve the papers. And film it for posterity.
@@Sasha-Louise his daughter. She could pull them out of her bra
@@LindaC616 Oh yes! That would be comedy gold. Rudy has turned into such a joke. I remember him on 9/11 and he really seemed like a good man trying his best for the city he was mayor of. It's been downhill ever since, but I didn't think he'd get to the lows he has this past 6 months though. Even Trump has sacked him now.
@@Sasha-Louise same here....blows my mind that the man who held it together for 9/11 has become this
Pray for him! Evil communication CORRUPTS good manners.
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL TO KNOW PEOPLE CARE SO MUCH ABOUT EARTH AND OTHERS..AWWW
How it should have gone:
Stephen as the guy: "You need that belt?"
Stephen as the Tire customer: "No, knock yourself out."
Stephen as the guy: "hmm...!"
😄👌
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
IKR!
The best kind of correct: technically >:)
Stop thinking what im thinking!!!
No, it goes,
Just because you’re paranoid
don’t mean there not after you
Well that's exactly what a paranoiac would say
“Wait for the coyotes to close in😂”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Honestly I love the idea that NASA is just f*cking with conspiracy theorists. I hope the next coded message is something like "Kubrick didn't direct this landing".
I'm assuming these are just fun publicity stunt Easter Eggs.....But I would laugh my ass off if the next one said "Kubrick didn't direct this landing".
Ask them about Project Paperclip, and how NASA was created by former Nazi scientists.
That's a fun "Conspiracy theory", given that there's mountains of evidence.
steven colbert does not give up he is beyond good better and the best u can watch gotta love him and evie his wife is awesome i love her laughing what a lady thank you both send love to both of young
Colbert: *mentions that social isolation is bad for mental health*
Me, who has been socially isolated since September 23rd 2019 and didn't have great mental health to begin with, slowly deteriorating in my shitty apartment in the boonies: OH, YA THINK?!
I'm wondering if, when the isolation is lifted and I walk out my door, will I recognize anyone, or have we all changed so much? Will I try to make friends with new people, only to learn that I already knew them two years ago! Or have my few neighbors moved away, and I can't tell the difference?
I'm beginning to like it and that worries me. 😟
just try and enjoy yourself
God. This is totally me. Sorry that I can relate so much... :/
@Dahn I have a friend in a similar situation, having been disabled a couple years before the pandemic. I understand why she doesn't feel much sympathy for the general public. But that doesn't mean that it's ok to be dismissive of people with mental illness struggles like the OP (and me). Why not use your experience to be compassionate for those who are struggling, offer advice for how you've coped? Obviously what you experienced is worse - I totally agree with that - but it's not just wrong and callous but also flat-out dangerous to be dismissive of mental health struggles, which ARE quite prevalent at the moment.
2:16
So sad.. his partner's picture was just 3 days from retirement.
"Thousand of pounds of amazon rainforest that are now amazon boxes". I enjoy hearing you say the hard truth Stephen!!
That Hannabal bit had me ROLLING!!!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
That's straight up bourbon in Stephen's cup.
3000
😂😂😂
Everyone is drinking *bourbon* these days.
Has been for a while now, my friend.
@@thereisalwaysarainbowafter1364 Ah thanks. 😂
Already lost my lively hood. And haven’t found a job yet. Plus no one where I live seems to care. Masks have been basically made optional and if you do wear them people make fun of you. It’s not great. Like yes we should still care but it’s so hard to see so much anger and apathy in my part of the US.
Same 😔
Let me guess. YOU live in Huntington beach
Where I live there are now hiring signs everywhere...construction is off the hook..
@@altrusianwolfdog2564 what state?
You hang in there Cool Cat and remember to always tell the truth and help others. You Alright.
Self-kidnapper: should be a Bud Light Real Men of Genius ad.
I can't tell you how much I love Stephen Colbert! The bit about the self-kidnapping was hilarious 😂
As someone who has not had a day off work since before this pandemic began.....being fake kidnapped is starting to sound very reasonable.
300DBenz - love to you
I was social distancing before it was cool. The decade before the pandemic I didn't leave my home more than once a month and had nor wanted any friends or family. I've been training for this my entire life. All the past year has done for me is show me that I was right all along: people are monsters.
Yikes 😬
Best comment EVER.. hands down. Good to know I'm NOT the only one. Introvert life is by far the best life (no drama & low stress level). Majority of people are both monsters & absolutely disgusting. 🤭
Also damn good part is you can just be yourself.. by yourself. 😁
"Email an ambulance!" reminded me of the "The IT Crowd" episode with the fire.
Being immune deficient and having to live in reverse isolation long before the pandemic was even a thing I can say firsthand that lack of human contact and being alone all the time plays with the human mind a lot. Unfortunately we're feeling this on a very large scale now instead of just the random lucky few people like myself with weird diseases that get stuffed into rooms to be safe. Now mass populations are enduring it. I honestly thought it would bring the world together because I thought it would create an environment where compassion and empathy would grow. Instead it became polarizing. Definitely not the outcome I predicted
I demand to hear Stephen's fava beans Lector in every monologue henceforth -- regardless of context thpthpthpthpthp!
Is that how u spell it? 🤔 Yep, that seems right! 😆😆
But Hannibal wouldn’t eat someone slathered in honey mustard. He has a much more refined palette and something that milquetoast and common wouldn’t be in his sauces, dressings, etc.
Exactly 🥴
😂 😂 😂
only if it rubs the lotion on its skin. or does it want the hose again?
Am I the only one who expected the code in the Mars parachute to say...
BE SURE TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE! 🤣
Only someone my age would get this reference. You’re dating us both.
Oh dear... I am getting old...
Best movie! I still curse in mumble and say FUDGE in slow motion. Thanks for that! I don't think it dates you. I force my 4 year old and teenagers to watch that all the time.
@@soniasonia2518 I was just gonna say that it plays every Christmas so how can *anyone* not know it?
Hi. I am Pedro and i am from Portugal. I suffer from depression and anxiety from many years.
I take medication and therapy.
But one of the best therapy i have is to see , Septhen' s monologue.
I think him from the bottom of my heart.
What he does, to me, is public service.
Sorry if i made any gramatical errors.
Stay safe
"I must in on it" hilarious!!
Sometimes I walk into Walmart and see like 10 people not wearing masks and another 5 wearing them on their chins or with their nose poking out and wonder if I’ve just hallucinated the fact that we are still in a pandemic that is getting worse by the week.
I'm flabbergasted every. Single. Time I go into a public place nowadays. It's not just Wal-Mart. It seems that at least half of the USA has NO idea how to wear a mask properly and/or refuses to like a selfish toddler with no sense of the impact of their actions on others...
@@deprofundis3293 And don't let them ever forget it too. Hold their feet to fire in the future. Remind them of the choice they made for all of us, and those who aren't here to speak for themselves. I plan on carrying some photos, of people I know, who have died. And when the nay sayers and anti-maskers start spouting their bs, I'll remind them. It won't matter, but I'll feel better about it.
Every day I come to work 6 of us. Frome day one , I am the only person wearing a mask. I could go on. No point. Stupid is as stupid does.
Try another store lol. Difference is huge.
Hallucinated? You just saw the reason.
Trying to elude the process server was not the first time Rudy had a case of 'the runs'...
True hair die right???
next he will fart and disappear in the gas cloud.
Aaahahaa....
Hahhaaaa
I think John Oliver wants to talk to Rudy about a certain armchair he damaged at a certain private club in NY. 😂😂
I love Stephen - his comedy is gold.
8:56 was timed perfectly with an ad break