Ted Cruz's Favorite President Could Face Jail Time For Tax Fraud

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  • 게시일 2021. 02. 21.
  • Today's ruling by the Supreme Court will allow state investigators access to the former president's tax returns, potentially setting up felony charges against the former leader and his family. #Colbert #Impeachment #Monologue
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댓글 • 8K

  • @Leonaza7
    @Leonaza7 3 년 전 +289

    The damage is done. First the Capitol riot, then Cancún, and also you left your dog to freeze. You’re toast. Vote blue Texas.

    • @RabblesTheBinx
      @RabblesTheBinx 3 년 전 +35

      You have a lot more faith in Texans than I do. Let's not forget that these are the same people who elected, then _reelected_ him to the Senate after he'd already been the Ted Cruz we know and despise for more than a decade.

    • @jackid1234
      @jackid1234 3 년 전 +9

      @@RabblesTheBinx Sadly, his job there is secure

    • @hubb3498
      @hubb3498 3 년 전 +1

      How come you guys don't focus on china, their the ones who engineered this pandemic, yall act like their aren't entire countries trying to take over america.

    • @cheshireket3132
      @cheshireket3132 3 년 전 +48

      @@hubb3498 because no one here follows Q or any of that conspiracy bullshit.
      Also, thats not the topic.

    • @preditora
      @preditora 3 년 전 +28

      @@hubb3498 only country i see tryin to take over America, is America. half of u want to kill the other half, and u whine bout this crap? u, sir, r an idiot =/

  • @pam6823
    @pam6823 3 년 전 +251

    “Being a good father meaning dropping your kids on the bus, not throwing them UNDER the bus!”
    - Trevor Noah
    *(spot on as usual)🙌🏼

  • @brandaugment6492
    @brandaugment6492 3 년 전 +75

    It's not a good sign when a company profits more from misery than they do from doing a good job.

  • @Madcatsmedia
    @Madcatsmedia 3 년 전 +36

    If they act, behave, smell, look like and smell like a mobster.. try them as one 😂

  • @Leonaza7
    @Leonaza7 3 년 전 +711

    I really really wish that this would sink in with his constituents. But you know.... the last people to come to terms with an abusive relationship are the abused....

    • @lanapowell
      @lanapowell 3 년 전 +77

      "Sure, we let a lot of you freeze to death, and a lot more of you had to file for bankruptcy because of your power bills, but THE DEMS ARE GONNA FORCE YOU TO GAY MARRY A MEXICAN!"

    • @cc1k435
      @cc1k435 3 년 전 +45

      "Y'all'd rather go on forever this way in the dark cold of winter with no access to water than have reliable *regulated* utility services at a fair price, right?!"

    • @alexdelaluna519
      @alexdelaluna519 3 년 전 +15

      Ah you are so right that it hurts...

    • @greenredblue
      @greenredblue 3 년 전 +44

      Dammit Texas, it's "Live free *OR* die," not *AND.*

    • @SageTheRage
      @SageTheRage 3 년 전 +8

      +Leonaza7 Sadly, you are right about his constituents.
      ╮(╯_╰)╭

  • @sapid77
    @sapid77 3 년 전 +100

    Are you telling me his wife was not capable going to Cancun without him?

  • @scamfather2663
    @scamfather2663 3 년 전 +94

    the camerman laughin in the back makes this so much better lmao

    • @TheEFVG
      @TheEFVG 3 년 전 +3

      Does it now.
      I managed to watch it without a single laugh. I'm glad the cameraman found it funny. On command.

    • @ohgawd
      @ohgawd 3 년 전 +4

      @@TheEFVG oh bug off. JEEZUZ

    • @SKa-tt9nm
      @SKa-tt9nm 3 년 전 +4

      @@TheEFVG this is why nobody likes you

    • @mmcdade6224
      @mmcdade6224 3 년 전 +3

      @@TheEFVG why don’t you just go play in a different sand box

    • @Ruintheus
      @Ruintheus 3 년 전 +3

      @@TheEFVG imagine enjoying things :D!

  • @tjaspire
    @tjaspire 3 년 전 +3

    Colbert's impression of Eric Trump cracked me up!! 😂😂😭😂😂

  • @kaitlin2400
    @kaitlin2400 3 년 전 +43

    I will NEVER get sick of his Eric impression 🤣

  • @Leonaza7
    @Leonaza7 3 년 전 +536

    It is downright humiliating to have AOC and Beto taking actions to support HIS state! But the audacity to post photos of him "helping his constituents" 👀 after being shamed is just pathetic!

    • @MasterJoeKerr
      @MasterJoeKerr 3 년 전 +13

      Orange man bad!

    • @JamesJones-mm2nm
      @JamesJones-mm2nm 3 년 전 +39

      @@MasterJoeKerr yes , very bad!

    • @funkymunky8787
      @funkymunky8787 3 년 전 +25

      @@dustinhunt370 Who cares if it's a show? I'd rather watch this show than the show where Ted Cruz is on a beach in Mexico

    • @gregbors8364
      @gregbors8364 3 년 전 +38

      @@dustinhunt370 It's almost like good politicians do things that are helpful for the American people 🤔

    • @Nevertoleave
      @Nevertoleave 3 년 전 +53

      @@dustinhunt370 Ted Cruz wouldn’t have lifted a finger to help his people if he hadn’t been caught. He’s putting on a show and people like you are falling for it

  • @ChrisBrown-kv7yh
    @ChrisBrown-kv7yh 3 년 전 +63

    Time to put that extra “s” back in “TEXASS”

  • @gwillis01
    @gwillis01 3 년 전 +22

    Texas public officials should accept both the federal safety rules and federal emergency aid. They should not get one without the other.

  • @jennybrackett1794
    @jennybrackett1794 3 년 전 +493

    THE ERIC TRUMP IMPRESSION RIDES AGAIN!!
    Absolutely hysterical.

  • @SkammLykelee
    @SkammLykelee 3 년 전 +1843

    Ironically, the only time Trump ever told the truth was when he called Cruz, "Lyin' Ted".

    • @dolfoboynas9583
      @dolfoboynas9583 3 년 전 +31

      BRILLIANT!!

    • @darthknightwingphoenix2081
      @darthknightwingphoenix2081 3 년 전 +46

      takes one to know one

    • @stressmuffin
      @stressmuffin 3 년 전 +7

      @ Dark Knightwing Phoenix That’s what I was gonna say!

    • @IAmSuzyQ
      @IAmSuzyQ 3 년 전 +34

      There were a few other times Trump accidentally told the truth... When he said:
      "I don't stand by anything."
      "I'm not a doctor."
      "People don't love me."

    • @wvu05
      @wvu05 3 년 전 +29

      Or "I could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue, and I wouldn't lose any votes."

  • @Harvest1966
    @Harvest1966 3 년 전 +10

    I lose it every time Stephen does his Eric Trump impression! And his wife is freaking awesome!!!
    This is my favorite episode from A Late Show hands down!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @LadyDoomsinger
    @LadyDoomsinger 3 년 전 +38

    Strange that the phrase "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is a metaphor for self-sufficiency,
    when the act of literally pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is *physically impossible.*

    • @canadianperspective3731
      @canadianperspective3731 3 년 전 +5

      Years of mindlessly parroting oaths and pledges effectively kills all independent thought and critical thinking skills. Ye reap what ye sow and stupidity has its own rewards...

    • @robertvanhulle2978
      @robertvanhulle2978 3 년 전 +4

      It was originally meant as a taunt.

    • @singingway
      @singingway 3 년 전 +3

      The book "Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America" by Linda Tirado really puts it all right out there -- what life is like for the poor and low wealth in the U.S. and how hard it is to keep being told to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps when you don't even have boots.

  • @roxiepoe9586
    @roxiepoe9586 3 년 전 +31

    Texas is learning the hard way. I am a Texan. I have noticed before that most of our lessons are learned the hard way - and some we still won't learn.

    • @Dvinven
      @Dvinven 3 년 전 +1

      They'll just blame Green energy and AOC and keep shooting themselves in the foot.

  • @4estdweller4ever
    @4estdweller4ever 3 년 전 +131

    Stephen, I just cried a bucket of tears for something completely unrelated. Then I turn on Stephen Colbert and laugh out loud numerous times! Now you’re giving me whiplash. Thank you, Stephen. You are a national treasure

    • @kristinLB
      @kristinLB 3 년 전 +13

      Sorry for the bucket of tears. Sometimes a good cry can help though. Hope you feel better!

    • @ampleoloruntogbe1434
      @ampleoloruntogbe1434 3 년 전 +3

      You’re not sad or crying alone. Stay strong tho. We’re gonna be okay.

    • @tamlandipper29
      @tamlandipper29 3 년 전 +2

      And his team, mate. Even if he is the comedy quarterback.

    • @roadapple66
      @roadapple66 3 년 전

      @@ampleoloruntogbe1434 Yes! I believe that if we try to see things from each other's points of view, then we can come back together as a nation and we're gonna be okay.

    • @4estdweller4ever
      @4estdweller4ever 3 년 전 +2

      @@tamlandipper29
      I agree. I always think of his incredibly talented team of writer peeps but forgot to mention. He must love them very much! They squeeze the last bit of funny out of everything. 👍🏻

  • @SharronHaimour-ko6jl
    @SharronHaimour-ko6jl 3 년 전 +4

    You killed it tonight! Best laughs Ive had all week!

  • @rogerdouglas2306
    @rogerdouglas2306 3 년 전 +2

    one of my fav episodes of the year. great work

  • @thelogician9879
    @thelogician9879 3 년 전 +229

    "I started having second thoughts almost immediately." Wait, I mean almost THE MOMENT I GOT CAUGHT.

    • @MrUrbanApollo
      @MrUrbanApollo 3 년 전 +2

      Basically the same reaction Andrew Cuomo has to covering up thousands of nursing home deaths. Politicians from both sides are so blinded to the real world problems everyday Americans have because of their own corporate interests.

    • @thelogician9879
      @thelogician9879 3 년 전 +9

      @@MrUrbanApollo Nobody said or implied that something Ted Cruz did is an excuse for anything some other person did. What is relevant here, however, is that the Republican party, which has had unchallenged dominance in Texas for recent history, has finally revealed how bad they are screwing Texans and everyone else who votes for them. That power system was not only set up to fail, the deregulation incentivizes system failure because then they get to charge you 180 times more for the same service because they have failed to provide enough power for the citizens they serve.

    • @gnirolnamlerf593
      @gnirolnamlerf593 3 년 전 +8

      @@MrUrbanApollo Could you give us the ratio of GOP to Dem politicians who fit your description? I mean, if you have one brother and one sister, you cannot claim that everyone has an equal number of brothers and sisters, just because you have evidence that there is one family in which there are two siblings of one gender and one of the other. The fact that one party has Ted Cruz and the other has Andrew Cuomo doesn't mean that they each have an equal number of similar people. You have to prove that. Could you also list the corporate interests Cuomo was pandering to in underreporting nursing home deaths rather than just trying to make himself look better than Trump? It would be helpful to know, for example, how much money his campaign in 2018 raked in from the nursing home industry. Could you get that info for us? If it's a lot, then you might have a point in Cuomo's case, but only that case. Opinions based on factual information are useful. Thank you.

    • @painoftheheart12
      @painoftheheart12 3 년 전 +7

      @@MrUrbanApollo what about.....what about.... what about..... what about nothing bitch. If the topic was a democrat politician we could discuss that. Dont bring up shit that has nothing to do with the topic. Pathetic ass deflection.

    • @soulstealer5625
      @soulstealer5625 3 년 전 +7

      @@MrUrbanApollo guess what? AOC called for it to be investigated. Turns out you can investigate your own party when you value people over party. Can’t say the same for the GOP which is why arguing bOtH sIdEs aRe tHe sAmE is so dumb.

  • @billyeveryteen7328
    @billyeveryteen7328 3 년 전 +82

    He started having second thoughts the moment he sat down on the plane. Not the moment he abandoned his state in the middle of a disaster; not on the Uber ride to the airport through snow-covered streets watching people huddled outside in front of fires; not at the check-in counter, or at security, or the waiting area of the terminal. The moment he sat down on the goddamned plane.

    • @michaeld4861
      @michaeld4861 3 년 전 +9

      He probably saw that video of the planes engine on fire and that's when he felt regret.... for getting on a plane, not for abandoning Texas.

    • @nadjie13
      @nadjie13 3 년 전 +11

      That’s when he saw the twitter backlash probably

    • @marysueechols2845
      @marysueechols2845 3 년 전 +5

      Yep, called his college roommate and invited him on the trip. Then tries to blame taking a trip during a pandemic on the teenagers.

    • @jimmieanderson3574
      @jimmieanderson3574 3 년 전 +7

      Not after having staff call the Houston Police to escort him to the airport, taking them away from life saving duties? Not after leaving their family’s dog home alone in a freezing house?

    • @josechristina9780
      @josechristina9780 3 년 전

      Welp. They locked the cabin, guess I HAVE to go to Cancun 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @robertjohnson8250
    @robertjohnson8250 3 년 전 +7

    "Ermahgerd! Texas is FERC'd!"
    HILARIOUS!

    • @mystiqueivy
      @mystiqueivy 3 년 전

      i knew it was coming and i literally LOLed xD

  • @jonasking9587
    @jonasking9587 3 년 전 +3

    The air traffic controller did an amazing job with that engine on fire. The call is out there.

  • @MrSoggyjocks
    @MrSoggyjocks 3 년 전 +96

    Ted Cruz started having second thoughts as he stowed his carry on bag and noticed all the phone cameras pointed his way....

    • @debbiedoodiedandi
      @debbiedoodiedandi 3 년 전

      Only thing he had doubts about is flying commercial. Next time, he's taking a private jet when he bails on his constituents!

  • @Jadeskorpion
    @Jadeskorpion 3 년 전 +112

    So glad you're back. My week is so empty without you.

    • @MasterJoeKerr
      @MasterJoeKerr 3 년 전

      And Colbert’s life is empty without Trump.

    • @ismaelhidalgo3131
      @ismaelhidalgo3131 3 년 전 +4

      i was worried he was so pissed off at the impeachment result he went on leave. I was really waiting for his opinions on the impeachment results.

    • @shatterfrost1877
      @shatterfrost1877 3 년 전 +6

      @@MasterJoeKerr lol let's be real tho, Trump don't need to be around. He left a legacy of things to entertain us, and colbert will never run out of material.

    • @dkayflowers79
      @dkayflowers79 3 년 전 +1

      my *week* was so *weak* that I felt like a darn *Weke* 😏

    • @RustOnWheels
      @RustOnWheels 3 년 전

      Thanks for planting Eminem in my head for the day…

  • @MiguelRodriguez2010
    @MiguelRodriguez2010 3 년 전 +11

    The "O" falling from Colorado joke was golden.

  • @luc8729
    @luc8729 3 년 전 +14

    The Eric shit straight killed me

  • @cheshireket3132
    @cheshireket3132 3 년 전 +28

    Texans should take note to see who's giving them support and who's ditching them in the time of a crisis.

  • @cwn41
    @cwn41 3 년 전 +248

    Imagine a world where we don’t have to crowd source emergency funds.

    • @goblinwisdom
      @goblinwisdom 3 년 전 +20

      Imagine having an NHS and just seeing a doctor or specialist without it costing you or a hospital stay that is already covered so you only have to crowd fund fun things.

    • @Metalbass10000
      @Metalbass10000 3 년 전 +14

      Consider this: OUR TAX DOLLARS, which are used all the time to give out corporate socialism, tax breaks for the wealthiest and those paid the highest income, and tax breaks and subsidizing of corporations profits, ARE actually crowd funding carried out by the federal and state governments WE OWN!

    • @TheTaintedWisdom
      @TheTaintedWisdom 3 년 전 +14

      You mean a world without Republicans? Yeah, that'd be nice.

    • @liamnehren1054
      @liamnehren1054 3 년 전 +7

      a world where a government is capable of performing it's main and first function? the stockpile of goods incase of emergencies? what a strange idea XD

    • @tamaralee7455
      @tamaralee7455 3 년 전

      @@liamnehren1054 exactly

  • @JayMcCracken
    @JayMcCracken 3 년 전 +23

    I absolutely love that T****'s name is blocked out in every passage. It's a beautiful thing LOL

  • @johnschmitt7957
    @johnschmitt7957 3 년 전 +4

    "Now, which box has the head" is the best thing I've heard in a while.

  • @FixNewsPlease
    @FixNewsPlease 3 년 전 +128

    When you don't have friends to mind your dog.

    • @gnirolnamlerf593
      @gnirolnamlerf593 3 년 전 +4

      Fix News: Good point. Most people are not eager to dog-sit for Lucifer in the Flesh.

    • @BeastNationXIV
      @BeastNationXIV 3 년 전 +6

      For the first time, i think a dog would be able to do a country song about how they lost their owner, and it would be a hit somehow.

    • @doloresabdelwahed9878
      @doloresabdelwahed9878 3 년 전 +3

      Wear your mask respect other space we could have been done with this if you people had it just done with the scientist told you you make it hard on us that are doing the right thing so many people have died and you think it's a joke you need to come to yourself you believe the liar Trump lied to you about everything you people live in a different world I feel sorry for you

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl 3 년 전 +142

    Remember: even if you lose one engine, the remaining one has enough power to take you to the crash site!

    • @Emy53
      @Emy53 3 년 전 +11

      Oh that is funny.

    • @oceanbuoy6563
      @oceanbuoy6563 3 년 전 +8

      Actually lol'd to that one.

    • @SimoraCheeks1
      @SimoraCheeks1 3 년 전 +5

      Seriously, I lol'd! A rare feat indeed.

    • @dumaskhan
      @dumaskhan 3 년 전 +14

      I bet you beat the ambulance there by a half hour.

    • @lanapowell
      @lanapowell 3 년 전 +13

      How convenient, since that's where we're going

  • @nathanharris4105
    @nathanharris4105 3 년 전 +17

    I want a compilation video of all of Stephen's Eric impressions. Whose with me?

  • @sk4lman
    @sk4lman 3 년 전 +2

    I really like this quarantinestyle version of the show. Really calm, personal and laid back.
    Keep it, even when things go back to normal? Live audiences and prompted laughs are so 1990..!

  • @petuniapop7819
    @petuniapop7819 3 년 전 +312

    Everyone! I got running water again today! I have full utilities for the first time in 8 days! Mild hypothermia in my own home after 5 days! I will use my new power to say FFFUUUUUUUUU TED CRUUUZZZZ 🚨 🚨

    • @jemiebridges3197
      @jemiebridges3197 3 년 전 +15

      Considering that bill, you might have been lucky to have the power off.

    • @mariag.8242
      @mariag.8242 3 년 전 +23

      Glad you came through ok. Warm thoughts from the north to you!

    • @deannedflrocks5337
      @deannedflrocks5337 3 년 전 +6

      That's good news. When one state hurts all states hurt. More help on the way.

    • @ammaleslie509
      @ammaleslie509 3 년 전 +6

      Good use of your new power!!!

    • @elysehernandez9861
      @elysehernandez9861 3 년 전 +4

      Happy to hear that 🙂

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl 3 년 전 +964

    Deregulation: GOP-speak for survival of the richest.

    • @Nickelsackkgaming
      @Nickelsackkgaming 3 년 전

      How

    • @killero00
      @killero00 3 년 전 +52

      @@Nickelsackkgaming Because only the rich can survive the chaos that would ensue due to deregulation, in general.

    • @Nickelsackkgaming
      @Nickelsackkgaming 3 년 전

      How do we get a couple 👫 for our first order and how long

    • @Nickelsackkgaming
      @Nickelsackkgaming 3 년 전 +1

      How

    • @icuranis4597
      @icuranis4597 3 년 전 +28

      There is no excuse (Piss poor or otherwise for removing 16 grand) from a guy's account for an electric bill.

  • @angelapickett7427
    @angelapickett7427 3 년 전 +30

    Texas needs to sue all of the utility companies what they did was criminal

    • @sidewalksurf800
      @sidewalksurf800 3 년 전

      Nobody is being forced to pay those bills by the way. Yeah they came out huge but utility companies are not making us pay them like that.

    • @estone1256
      @estone1256 3 년 전 +2

      @@sidewalksurf800 Yeah, why don't they just not pay and die of hypothermia smh

    • @philam1973
      @philam1973 3 년 전

      Maybe in other states but Texas approved (or at least let them do what they want) the system

  • @jochenstacker7448
    @jochenstacker7448 3 년 전 +35

    "washed up on a beach body"
    I had to pause and laugh hysterically for 10 minutes. 😅

  • @rgwak
    @rgwak 3 년 전 +324

    Me: I like the part where Ted blamed his kids.
    Ted: Hold my abandoned dog.
    🙄

    • @Praetor_Fenix420
      @Praetor_Fenix420 3 년 전 +8

      His kids hate him and unwillingly went on his misconceived adventure to Cancun.

    • @MyMarsham
      @MyMarsham 3 년 전 +4

      To be completely fair, Cruz did not leave the dog unattended. There was a security detail watching the property, as detailed by the photographer, and he was assured that the dog was being well looked after. For some reason if I try putting a link in, it won’t let me post, but please google Cruz Dog Secret Service, you’ll all find the info.
      EDIT: I originally said “Secret Service.” Post should read Security Detail. Ted Cruz does not have Secret Service protection.

    • @nashantastanley3261
      @nashantastanley3261 3 년 전 +6

      Oh yeah Ted threw his kids under the bus real quick...wow...what a lowlife!

    • @andrabook8758
      @andrabook8758 3 년 전 +7

      ted cruz? he's the f head who abandoned his dog?! POS. hope he gets frost bike in his favourite place.

    • @markmac2206
      @markmac2206 3 년 전 +6

      considering its Cruz, someone better make sure those are really his kids.

  • @spencerphilippinedream3706

    the irony of supporting a wall between texas and mexico, then flying to mexico when texas becomes unbearable.

    • @libbyhobbs4637
      @libbyhobbs4637 3 년 전 +31

      The"wall" should've been built around the Capitol!

    • @kdawg2472
      @kdawg2472 3 년 전 +20

      @@libbyhobbs4637 have you not seen the wall around the capitol?

    • @nicholasbiddle7893
      @nicholasbiddle7893 3 년 전 +9

      @@kdawg2472 lol...that's true

    • @kdawg2472
      @kdawg2472 3 년 전 +11

      @@nicholasbiddle7893 the people really get on here and criticize one politician and not the other. Last time I checked, they all suck. The main person in support of the wall around the capitol is the same person all for banning guns.... while be surrounded by people with guns lol our ENTIRE government is a joke if you ask me 🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @nicholasbiddle7893
      @nicholasbiddle7893 3 년 전 +2

      @@kdawg2472 I believe you guys were criticizing the same people

  • @davidd1395
    @davidd1395 3 년 전 +29

    Taxes, how they finally nailed Al Capone. Lock up the crime boss and his cronies.

    • @daisyq3418
      @daisyq3418 3 년 전 +2

      You know DT cheated on his taxes.
      Heck, the loser even cheats at GOLF!

    • @JP-tp2wl
      @JP-tp2wl 3 년 전

      Hahahaha! Now anyone in government can have their taxes audited. This is going to be fun. Can't wait to see who's next. Popping my popcorn now.

  • @gigiarmany4332
    @gigiarmany4332 3 년 전 +2

    You are the funniest show hands down👍🏾❤💥💥😂🤣

  • @orana03
    @orana03 3 년 전 +106

    Is no-one going to highlight that Ted Cruz was going on holiday with friends in the pandemic? Like even if Texas was fine, that dude decided to go on holiday with friends while most people in the US and elsewhere are in lockdown. Its still not ok

    • @bonniesimpson1636
      @bonniesimpson1636 3 년 전 +9

      Also his daughters had a slumber party the night before. They had a bunch of neighbors over for dinner. Way to lead.

    • @gandalfthegrey
      @gandalfthegrey 3 년 전 +2

      It's not like people are ignoring what he did, it's just that one of these issues is more presently important. He literally left Houston for warmer weather while millions of Texans were out of power and dying of hypothermia and carbon monoxide poisoning from trying to keep warm.

    • @gandalfthegrey
      @gandalfthegrey 3 년 전 +3

      And it's not new news that Ted Cruz doesn't care about the pandemic.

    • @whocares269
      @whocares269 3 년 전 +3

      @@gandalfthegrey by that logic it's hardly new news he doesn't care about his constituents either

    • @thamessider
      @thamessider 3 년 전 +5

      @@whocares269 It is news that he had "friends", though.

  • @julielevasseur7391
    @julielevasseur7391 3 년 전 +158

    Thank goodness my therapist, Stephen Colbert is back.

  • @hekatsees9449
    @hekatsees9449 3 년 전 +3

    “Tarred and Pubed”... That’s too damn funny...

  • @jeanwitherspoon4659
    @jeanwitherspoon4659 3 년 전 +1

    We missed you Mr. Colbert 🙃😻

  • @wrrealcomp5811
    @wrrealcomp5811 3 년 전 +98

    That’s how they got Al Capone!!

    • @ccggenius
      @ccggenius 3 년 전 +10

      Yeah, but Trump doesn't have syphilitic insanity. Remember, he knows the difference between a person, a woman, a man, a camera, and a TV!

    • @Boogaboioringale
      @Boogaboioringale 3 년 전 +8

      When nothing else works, you can always count on the IRS.

    • @normanacree1635
      @normanacree1635 3 년 전 +2

      back when they weren't delays upon delays upon delays due to appeals upon appeals upon.......

    • @ohnoohnonono3458
      @ohnoohnonono3458 3 년 전 +1

      @@ccggenius and he is a very stable genuis, with a big a brain.

  • @angelahamlett8249
    @angelahamlett8249 3 년 전 +95

    No one's above the law. Right?...
    We need to see that that's true.

    • @roadapple66
      @roadapple66 3 년 전

      Angela Hamlett: "No one's above the law. Right?... We need to see that that's true"
      If we did that, it would wipe out every politician in the country! Wait, what am I saying? Please, by all means, proceed.

  • @bryantmchenry5484
    @bryantmchenry5484 3 년 전 +1

    Good lock each and every one of those crooks up!!!

  • @roldanelvis2449
    @roldanelvis2449 3 년 전

    We miss you too Mr. STEPHEN, Hello there 👋 from Mexico 🇲🇽

  • @alorotams2070
    @alorotams2070 3 년 전 +233

    “Those who fail to learn from history, were probably educated in Texas”💀😂

  • @MFYouTube683
    @MFYouTube683 3 년 전 +318

    The person who leaked the airline ticket is my favourite person today.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 3 년 전 +46

      Along with the person who leaked Mrs. Cruz's emailed invitation to some of her friends to join them in Cancun, because, she complained, the house was "FREEZING!" That kinda shot down the kids-wanted-to-travel story.

    • @seffishestopal5950
      @seffishestopal5950 3 년 전 +11

      Someone must have shouted "Ted Cruz is on this flight! Get him off!"

    • @denesejamerson2356
      @denesejamerson2356 3 년 전 +8

      The dog snitched on them cause they left him in that cold azz house!

    • @patshelby9285
      @patshelby9285 3 년 전 +2

      @@seffishestopal5950
      SHOULD have shouted.

    • @phriedokra6158
      @phriedokra6158 3 년 전 +4

      @@denesejamerson2356 Pawed 911

  • @skatiesadiemator5948
    @skatiesadiemator5948 3 년 전 +2

    That's the most I've ever laughed at his Eric 🤣🤣

  • @JohnSagin-SimViDeLucis579

    This one is BRUTAL, I love it!

  • @jamesbowman5062
    @jamesbowman5062 3 년 전 +205

    They’ll have to make custom cuffs so he can’t slip his tiny hands out.

    • @fanatamon
      @fanatamon 3 년 전 +5

      That’s great.

    • @GHinWI
      @GHinWI 3 년 전 +6

      What’s he gonna do...run!?!?

    • @ilovefunnyamv2nd
      @ilovefunnyamv2nd 3 년 전 +4

      @@GHinWI no, but he'll convince some fool that if they get him out of prison he'll pay them. They might fall for it if they don't know about Rudy

    • @balancepoint71
      @balancepoint71 3 년 전 +1

      Right on

    • @Axolotl_Mischief
      @Axolotl_Mischief 3 년 전 +5

      Just use thumb cuffs on his wrists.

  • @brewsnoop
    @brewsnoop 3 년 전 +208

    “seized by an angry mob’n tarred & pubed” has had me belly laughing all morning!

  • @checkyourhead37
    @checkyourhead37 3 년 전 +2

    His Don Jr. impression absolutely sends me everytime

  • @2ndr8swkrak6
    @2ndr8swkrak6 3 년 전

    LMFAO: Eric every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 sir- you get me through this.

  • @megandavis3585
    @megandavis3585 3 년 전 +69

    “Tarred and pubed” LMAO

  • @223Drone
    @223Drone 3 년 전 +208

    The people who defend Ted Cruz by saying "there is nothing he can do" intentionally ignore the fact that he's a senator with significant influence. They don't want to call him out for trying to abandon his constituents during their time of need and throwing his daughters under the bus when he got caught.

    • @ferox965
      @ferox965 3 년 전 +3

      Well, Cruz is useless...

    • @Nevertoleave
      @Nevertoleave 3 년 전 +14

      “What could he do?” Why not ask every mayor, governor, senator, representative, disaster relief volunteer that has ever leapt to lend a hand in whatever capacity was needed when there has been a disaster? Even just manning a phone to try and find places with power and trying to get people without somewhere safe and warm

    • @greenredblue
      @greenredblue 3 년 전 +7

      Literally positions himself as a thought leader within his party. It's literally how he gets people to vote for him. And now it's "oh I can't be expected to do anything, I'm helpless."

    • @ghostkid252
      @ghostkid252 3 년 전 +10

      They say "there's nothing he can do" but AOC Beto O'Rourke we're out there raising millions of dollars and doing wellness checks on seniors 😒

    • @mitomidou
      @mitomidou 3 년 전 +7

      @@Nevertoleave he sure manned the phones for a presidential candidate that maligned his wife 5 years ago. There's footage to prove it. 😅

  • @lad8840
    @lad8840 3 년 전

    Don't know how I'd get through this without Colbert😊!

  • @gracefulvintage
    @gracefulvintage 3 년 전 +20

    I’m so looking forward to this entire family doing time in different prisons!!

    • @daisyq3418
      @daisyq3418 3 년 전

      For now, rancid Mar a Lago is their prison. 👍

  • @mypillowguy445
    @mypillowguy445 3 년 전 +214

    When the shitsicles hit the fan Cancruz was Lyin' on a sunny beach.

    • @hawkeye5955
      @hawkeye5955 3 년 전 +17

      I like how your profile pic is Ned Flanders with a pillow. A much better version of the other My Pillow Guy

    • @JJ-in3bc
      @JJ-in3bc 3 년 전 +1

      Yeaah, if you think this is BAD?? Wel, this other thing you'll think is HITLER level....
      Why did Biden sell out America, by joining with China on mineral rights in South America?
      See RIDING THE DRAGON: The Bidens' Chinese Secrets (Full Documentary)
      krplus.net/bidio/eralnpN3dHjNeqQ

    • @dkayflowers79
      @dkayflowers79 3 년 전 +13

      @@JJ-in3bc yawn, pathetic. Throw in some Hillary with a sprinkle of Benghazi, and a dash of *O Tan suit* then maybe your post will have some zest to it bud 🙄

    • @YeeSoest
      @YeeSoest 3 년 전 +2

      More puns per sentence than the Quarantinewhile intro read

    • @lindaterrell5535
      @lindaterrell5535 3 년 전 +3

      @@JJ-in3bc
      Oh yes, video on KRplus is so accurate and peer-reviewed.

  • @hollybeary
    @hollybeary 3 년 전 +143

    The "Eric whistling The Andy Griffith Show theme" just about cost me a lung.

    • @coryanntopanga
      @coryanntopanga 3 년 전 +2

      Omg I died laughing! I died so hard! 😭😭😭😭😭

  • @HeyLookWatchMe
    @HeyLookWatchMe 3 년 전 +11

    Stephens impression of orange jr trying to whistle the Andy Griffith theme with his teeth out was not what I expected to see today but boy am I glad I did. 😂

    • @WBBClips
      @WBBClips 3 년 전

      I think he was actually doing Eric.

    • @HeyLookWatchMe
      @HeyLookWatchMe 3 년 전

      Lol 😂 you’re right. Also thanks for reminding me of this again.

  • @ceriberry6465
    @ceriberry6465 3 년 전 +3

    “Tarred & PUBED!” Jajaaaa 😹

  • @chrysshart
    @chrysshart 3 년 전 +63

    I almost choked on my eggs with that "Eric 'whistling' the Andy Griffith theme tune" bit. Welcome back, Mr. Colbert.

  • @PitFriend1
    @PitFriend1 3 년 전 +104

    You don’t have to mess with Texas, their government and Senators mess things up enough by themselves.

  • @JesseDanLee
    @JesseDanLee 3 년 전 +19

    I hope he never retires the Eric impression.

    • @Ruintheus
      @Ruintheus 3 년 전 +1

      @Isaac Suarez Ah, yes. Right. It's Colbert obsessed with Trump lol.

    • @WBBClips
      @WBBClips 3 년 전

      @Isaac Suarez It’s not an obsession. Trump is just such a great source of comedy material.

    • @WBBClips
      @WBBClips 3 년 전

      @Isaac Suarez Trump is a great source of comedy material regardless of how you feel about him.

  • @briandickens71
    @briandickens71 3 년 전

    Wow. What a brilliant man.

  • @Astrobrant2
    @Astrobrant2 3 년 전 +125

    "...man whose face was seized by an angry mob and then tarred and pubed..."
    OMG!! Yet another example of how Stephen's writers need to win an Emmy.

  • @richardcutts196
    @richardcutts196 3 년 전 +451

    Who wants to see Trump in jail so they can chant ' 4 more years' at his parole hearing.

  • @robertahubert9155
    @robertahubert9155 3 년 전

    If only!! I can only hold on to hope

  • @cheripalmisano1560
    @cheripalmisano1560 3 년 전 +2

    OMG “Eric” whistling bahahaha 💀

  • @missybarbour6885
    @missybarbour6885 3 년 전 +1895

    When Mexico sends us our senators back, they're not sending their best, folks.

  • @rayceeya8659
    @rayceeya8659 3 년 전 +52

    Remember that Rick Perry was the Secretary of Energy. He was in charge of NATIONAL energy policy.

    • @loridrblake9770
      @loridrblake9770 3 년 전 +2

      Scary 😨 thought. And they think AOC is a problem? Man, where do they come up with all of these harebrained deregulation scams? I was in California when they had that energy crisis and the energy companies were moving energy in and out of the state causing the price to go up for each hop, but I thought, why can't Texas just move some energy in? Bcz they aren't even ON the national grid. Oh, pretty screwed, then. Don't know if they ever resolved that shell game energy scam in California, tho. I moved out, too.

    • @rayceeya8659
      @rayceeya8659 3 년 전 +2

      @@loridrblake9770
      I was working for PG&E at the time and had a front row seat for all that. Didn't like it then and don't like it now

    • @FLQueerLiberal1982
      @FLQueerLiberal1982 3 년 전 +2

      In Brussels, Rick Perry referred to natural gas as "freedom gas." Tells ya everything ya need to know about him.

    • @lolitamoonprod
      @lolitamoonprod 3 년 전

      🤣🤣🤣🤣 that’s funny

    • @jpdemer5
      @jpdemer5 3 년 전

      We got more energy out of Trump's hamberder farts than we did out of Perry's policies.

  • @0Yazz
    @0Yazz 3 년 전 +2

    "mehehahwhaa you know what I'm sayin? you know what I'm FEELING!"
    me: *hits like*

  • @edc8657
    @edc8657 3 년 전 +2

    Evie's giggle is everything.

  • @censusgary
    @censusgary 3 년 전 +411

    “We’ll have herd immunity by April.”
    April of what year?

  • @ramonmolina9136
    @ramonmolina9136 3 년 전 +28

    Welcome back sir! Thank you for being here with us, miss you, I kinda need you to keep me laughing and sane with all this Madness.

  • @conniecrawford5231
    @conniecrawford5231 3 년 전 +1

    Lock them both up!!!’

  • @annakingry9157
    @annakingry9157 3 년 전

    Enjoying this feature. I smile and sometimes laugh out loud--a change from my usual teeth grinding intake of news.

  • @gstrib5
    @gstrib5 3 년 전 +17

    How many people actually remember the Andy Griffith Show??? 😂

  • @davestevens2908
    @davestevens2908 3 년 전 +24

    He's gonna go the same way as Al Capone. Taxes and syphilis!

  • @ashjuanbarnett100
    @ashjuanbarnett100 3 년 전

    your Eric kills me every time. lmaoooo

  • @phriedokra6158
    @phriedokra6158 3 년 전

    Omg the Andy Griffin whistling by Eric bit...spewed tea dude!!!

  • @jamedraa8472
    @jamedraa8472 3 년 전 +561

    Mexico: "They're sending their worst."

    • @Outside85
      @Outside85 3 년 전 +3

      Mexico: "Fortunately their worst are loaded and our economy needs them."

    • @fanatamon
      @fanatamon 3 년 전 +5

      He is a Mexican isn’t he?

    • @jamedraa8472
      @jamedraa8472 3 년 전 +2

      @@fanatamon yes. Ted RAPHAEL Cruz.

    • @rickbeam
      @rickbeam 3 년 전 +2

      Just like the 1980 Mariel Boatlift into Miami or did they forget, I know most of the clueless morons were not even born yet.

    • @billhickok3854
      @billhickok3854 3 년 전 +2

      @@rickbeam I lived in Orlando at the time, my parents hated it, high-end crime skyrocketed in Florida, this is how Miami became Miami, Coke money. They knew it, and embraced it.

  • @renegade44040
    @renegade44040 3 년 전 +198

    "The former guy" is in trouble.

    • @JoshuaMuse
      @JoshuaMuse 3 년 전 +13

      I'll just be glad once we never have to mention him ever again.

    • @IAmHereForeve
      @IAmHereForeve 3 년 전 +10

      @Milkyway2099
      My question for Republicans. Would you all vote Jr or Eric for President?
      Never mind. You all would.

    • @BooskieBae
      @BooskieBae 3 년 전 +1

      JPnewPic88.Men

    • @waynegouin939
      @waynegouin939 3 년 전 +3

      MONEY LAUNDERING 101.

    • @gccurry1
      @gccurry1 3 년 전

      Who?

  • @CEEEEEEEEENA
    @CEEEEEEEEENA 3 년 전

    How he does the trump jr impression fkin hillllarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @kathleendepietro3043

    Let’s hope!

  • @MatthewPettyST1300
    @MatthewPettyST1300 3 년 전 +48

    His Eric trying to whistle the fishing song has to be one of the funniest things he's done. And he's done so many funny things.

    • @willemvandeursen3105
      @willemvandeursen3105 3 년 전 +1

      I wonder how often Stephen was sued...
      Or is Eric to dumb to understand what he sees and hears on the Late Show?
      His father has probably forbidden him to watch any fake media. Which didn't work with Melania, she was a guest at the show often, and the times she wasn't, she watched it. In her own bedroom, where the door is always locked.

    • @Skyjuice70
      @Skyjuice70 3 년 전 +1

      I was eating spaghetti while watching him do that and almost choked. 😂😆🤣😆

  • @milindamcdougall1862
    @milindamcdougall1862 3 년 전 +127

    "Tarred and pubed..." Unfortunate that I was taking a sip of coffee when that one came up. Spit-take.

  • @robertjohnson8250
    @robertjohnson8250 3 년 전 +14

    "...Senator & man whose face was seized by an angry mob, then tarred & pubed, Ted Cruz"
    Man, Colbert was on one tonight!

  • @andrewnope4034
    @andrewnope4034 3 년 전

    Omg lmao that Donald and Eric face LOL🤣

  • @loantran-thanh7795
    @loantran-thanh7795 3 년 전 +106

    When you have a so called “educated” senator who doesn’t assess his political risks and consequences prior to a move, then you are allowed to have legitimate doubts about his competences as senator.

    • @victoriabaker4400
      @victoriabaker4400 3 년 전 +2

      for sure

    • @truepeacenik
      @truepeacenik 3 년 전 +7

      I knew he had no competence. It’s the utter lack of compassion that really makes him a shell of a human.

    • @elenaderoet4926
      @elenaderoet4926 3 년 전 +2

      This is definitely not the first time I've questioned Cruz's competence..... IJS, lol

    • @ilovefunnyamv2nd
      @ilovefunnyamv2nd 3 년 전 +3

      He did assess the risk, and that was that "I opposed the impeachment trial, these fools will vote for me no matter what I do wrong now"
      As was recently stated by a republican from Pennsylvania, in response to a republican voting on the impeachment trial, "We did not send him there to 'do the right thing' [...]we sent him there to represent us"

    • @ebethlouise2201
      @ebethlouise2201 3 년 전

      Cluster B personality trait

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl 3 년 전 +113

    Energy deregulation will be the largest transfer of wealth in history.
    -- Warren Buffett

    • @workingman4918
      @workingman4918 3 년 전 +3

      This coming from one of the richest men in the US who is only thinking of himself

    • @tahiragibson6407
      @tahiragibson6407 3 년 전 +2

      @@workingman4918 - well, was he right or wrong in his statement is the question.

    • @seanjokela
      @seanjokela 3 년 전 +2

      And he did so without defrauding the american people or polluting our air & drinking water.see that, you can become rich while having moral standards (regulations)

    • @christinebenson518
      @christinebenson518 3 년 전

      @@workingman4918 Apparently Mr. Buffet is a thrifty guy. He's lived in the same house since the 1970's and he eats McDonald's everyday paying with coupons.

    • @ValerieJNorse
      @ValerieJNorse 3 년 전 +1

      @@christinebenson518 -- My mom and I took a trip to Omaha a few years back and passed through Buffet's neighborhood. It's a nice suburban neighborhood, but you'd never know there was a billionaire living in there.

  • @pantherwmn70
    @pantherwmn70 3 년 전

    "Washed up on the beach bode..."👋🏿😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 👍🏼👍🏼👋🏽👋🏽👋🏼👋🏻👋🏽👋🏻👋🏼🤣

  • @dwyatt975
    @dwyatt975 3 년 전

    "Tarred & Pubed" 🤣🤣🤣