SWAWS | Totally Accurate Battlegrounds

Thank you for making us sound less boring 🙌

…He deadass did the whole ”Money” segment so he could say ”It's not always about the money Spiderman.” I fucking love Badger.

"SWAWS!"
- Old Klingon Proverb

"This was in the manual. Eisenhower said it. How many World Wars did you win?"
Gotta be one of my favorite lines in history 😂

Actually funny story from today, my mom is very much my personal watch over, so I had to eventually explain to her what tabg was. Of course through that, badger was brought up. Now, my mom loves knowing what I like, she basically knows me better than I do, and at one point she made me show her a couple of badgers' videos. Of course I didn't think much of it and went along. BIG MISTAKE. By the time we reached the end of the third video, my mom noticed something, badger's engagement ring. What is the first thing she says? "Wait he's married?" And thinking nothing of it I go yeah! YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID? "That poor woman..." What the actual Costco carp fountain fuck.

6 months ago: "I'm playing with a TABG asset."
now: "I *am* a TABG asset."

The story of getting in the game, as told on 2fort without textures.

11:35) oh my heavens I nearly choked on my damn Cheez-Its no matter how many times I watch that it will never not be funny just the way the character leans in with the text pop up of “Joe Mama” is flawless

"It's not always about the money, Spiderman, i just wanted the word SWAWS in a videogame" is the peak bajur quote.

“It’s not about the money Spider-Man it’s about becoming a crocodile” - Badger probably

13:47 man i need a version of "4 Non Blondes - What's Up" but with that sample

“Can I fucking help you?” Killed me

"They're older than fucking TREES"
Congrats, Badger; I can officially say that I laughed out loud!

They turned Badger into an alligator, funniest thing I’ve ever seen

17:11 You have alerted the horde

4:22 the way badger just chills around the crocodile tells he’s from Florida

“Sharks don’t exist on land”
Land-shark beer: *cries silently in the corner*

"Gatorland is the closest that earth will get to heaven"
As a floridian, that is correct

3:19 *suddenly become a history channel

13:51
Seeing the gator hold a sword I immediately thought “mess with the gator, you get the saber”

This is the most cursed series on Badger’s channel and I fucking love it.

Pros: Badger is getting better at animating
Cons: Badger is getting better at animating

I feel that Grouse would actually make a great Dallas voiceover in Payday 2

Badger is the only person that can title a video “SWAWS” and it be good.

"Glock 17 makes sense because it has 17 rounds"
*flashback to Zach's Gun Rants*

It's beautiful how TABG can be more enjoyable than most Battle Royales.

"Crocco with a glocko" beautiful

5:28 Crocco with a gloko had me dying😂

I absolutely love the fact that badger is constantly changing his model every video, but Grouse is permanently Dallas from Payday™

Name: Russian Badger
Pfp: Seal
Interests: Sharks
TABG Skin: Crocodile
this man is an enigma

6:38 Imagine you’re just playing this game, and then you get fucking obliterated by SCOOB and the gang.

I'm just saying safety off on da flintlock 10:55

He turned himself into an alligator pickle, funniest shit I’ve ever seen.

Flashback to when Badger said:
"Anything's possible if we bully him enough"
And here we are...

4:05 fucking hilarious. This is one of my favorites. Always giggle at it

7:03 was awesome

Badger has reached a point where his shitposting has begun to generate it's own gravitation influence that has begun to suck in everything surrounding it, only growing in density and range the longer it goes on. I fear the Badger blackhole may soon extend it's event horizon of shitposting beyond our puny cultural sphere, engulfing all of human inter-personal communication and our identity as a species.

the sheer imagination that Badger is dancing alone, without music in his room, wrapped in his MoCap suit, is sad and hilarious at the same time

This is the singular video that has convinced me to try this game

"Do you know how tight sharks are?" -therussianbadger

I own a flintlock pistol for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four crocos with glockos break into my house, As a grab my flintlock pistol and SWAWS voice pack, I blow a SWAWS sized hole through the first croco, it's dead on the spot. I draw my blunderbuss on the second croco, but it doesn't miss, because...it's a blunderbuss... I have to resort to the literal handheld cannon mounted at the top of the stairs, loaded with grapeshot. Two more crocos are killed in the volley, and the blast sets off a thermonuclear warhead. I then ask the homies to rate my drip while waiting for the Police to arrive. Ah, just as the founding fathers intended.

everybody talking about tabg:
“the guns are so unrealistic-“
badger:
*pumps blunderbuss with malicious intent*

why can i now just imagine with the russianbadger voice pack "enemy. man, 300 meters, north, fast, fast, fast

That 2008 housing market crash killed me faster than my boomer ain't killed the housing market.

"who sees trash, and is like imma eat that"
me: looking at my dog

For anyone who finds Glock’s model numbers confusing, they are based on patent numbers. The glock 17 was Gaston Glock’s 17th patent, the glock 18 was his 18th patent, the glock 19 was his 19th patent, so on and so forth. This of course begs the question: what were his first 16 patents? The answer: 16 different designs for shower curtain rings.

15:04 PULL UP TERRAIN

best badger quote yet
"so if you've ever complained that Jurassic park isn't a real thing it is a real thing its just not called Jurassic park its called Florida"

12:22 "I feel like I'm sitting at the airsofters lunch table right now."
As someone with a friend that had an airsoft group in my high school, I know how he feels.

I like how badger’s at the point in his career where he’s effectively monetized internet shitposting using alternative means; yet still has to play KRplus flappy bird just right in order to keep his ads lol

Landfall should make a story game that’s a war between the wobbly military, with badger as a character that says swaws randomly, and has a stroke while saying like Mr Crocker from fairly oddparents

If I remember correctly, glock branding is based on when it was made, it atarted out with 17 because it was Gaston Glock's seventeenth invention

For a brief moment, I thought Badger was going to say “it’s not always about the money, Spider-Man. It’s about the Mets baby”

These travis Scott jokes aged like wine

As a Floridian myself, I can say with full impunity that the only places in this environmental state that don’t look like a freaking swamp are our cities like Tallahassee and Orlando (the city I live near as a mof), but everything else? Personally, most of the communities in here I know of have a backyard that is 70% swamp-like, and yet I still don’t got gators…only snapping turtles, ducks, and cranes lol

9:22 you can turn off the alarm on your car depending on the make and model so an Altima I think you had to hold the in lock and trunk button

“They’re actually kind people but making it sound dramatic makes it less boring”
Me when I talk about my boss

I wholeheartedly believe that if we could harness energy from a person character, Badger could power a small town in Russia for at least fifty years.

Thank you for my username

I love this entire channel
So many nights binge watching, and I’ve rewatched A LOT and im always laughing

2:47 Badger made an entire skit just for a "It's not always about the money, Spider-Man" joke. *This is high quality content*

Fun fact: similar to badger, a crocodile will wait in the water for their prey to start drinking, and then they just yoink them. Exactly like badger does with money

When badger said "you’ve heard of elf on a shelf but have you heard of croco with a glocko" got me

As a Floridian person, who was born in Florida, I can agree that Florida is called Jurassic Park, and that we are America’s Australia.

I was really hoping for his crying baby seal to be his character skin but a gator is still meme worthy.
Also, I really love the fact that Badger is also a fellow animal enthusiast.

“Why do I use my power to put SWAWS in a game?”
Because you are the only one we trust to get the job done

Wow. Badger did what every Spider-Man Villain couldn't do. Cap Spider-Man....over money. And in all fairness, Spidy did have a point.....why do I hear clicks and racking metal sounds?

15:16
Pull up: TERRAIN
Pull up: Terrain

"Winston Churchill throwing up Crip outside the Reichstag" that has to be my favourite line ever said.

Badger: "Like you're gonna do a drive by with a BAR"
Clyde Barrow: "Am I a joke to you?"

I swear I wouldn’t be able to watch the videos as long and as intently I do if the CGI and sound effects weren’t here
Love your videos man, Happy New Years 🧡🧡🧡

0:17-0:23 is the only reason I have watched this at least 10 times, this is my favorite video for when I’m sad lol

"Who sees trash and is like 'Imma eat dat'?"
Raccoons.

“It’s not always about the money Spider-Man” I was really scared it was gonna be about the Mets for a second

As a Floridian, and I’m being for real, I can confirm Florida is America’s Australia’s by the amount of big crocodiles we have.

Watching saltigue get obliterated by a sniper reminded me of one of badgers payday vids where someone got a .50 through their skull

This glorified shitpost of a game was 100% made for Badger

I can only imagine the literal chaos with Badger’s voice line pack when someone buys it. 😂😂😂

"Who sees trash and is like, imma eat that?"
Anyone who's ever gone to McDonald's my dude

he was right about otis

“Crocco with a glocko is a viable strategy”
What about crocco with a glockinator?

Fun fact: if you wake up at 3:69 AM and get on top of the fridge and yell SWAWS 428 times, a weird creature called YOUR MOTHER will come out of the darkness and beat the shit out of you and you will wake up in a magical place called the orphanage

Okay but just to be clear: Turtles eat trash because they think it's a jellyfish. Jellyfish aren't even very nutritional but they're massively invasive because they don't have many hunters.

One of my new favorite TABG memories has to be when I just heard “PERISH GAMER” and then immediately got blasted in the back of the head with a blunderbuss

Seeing Badger argueing to himself is probably the most hillarious thing i have seen today...

Lol the bit at 9:05 sounds so dope if it were true ngl.

I remember when he was young,
RussianBadger had so much fun
Throwing hands with his noodle clones,
Had a whole ass voice pack and a skin of his own.
But the biggest kick he ever got
Was doing a thing called the Crocodile Glock.
While the other kids were using flintlocks,
He was hopping and bopping with his Crocodile Glock.

They turned badger into a voice line, funniest shit I’ve ever seen.

There's a weird feeling of surreal nostalgia seeing maps from games you've played countless times in a different style... 2Fort really takes me back man

You've heard of Croco with a Glocko but have you ever heard of Scooby rollin a dooby?

I was today years old when I realized the map he used in this video is a modded version of 2fort lmao

“Who sees trash and thinks ima eat that?”
Raccoons: Am I a joke to you?

“It’s not about the money, Spider-Man...
ITS ABOUT THE METS BABY”

That's what I love about TheRussianBadger. If I get up to use the bathroom, the topic goes from "florida man bad at conversion skills" to "shaggy starts a thermonuclear war"😂😂

Badger is the whole reason I installed this game and for the fun I’ve had on it I must thank him

Not gonna lie, I’d watch a 10 minute video of Badger arguing with himself using motion capture.

Just so everyone knows, Glocks are numbered after their patent: not their caliber or mag capacity. The fact that the Glock 17 has 17 rounds is just serendipity.

Love how the first 6 minutes of the video are 6 minutes of non stop advertising

The reason Glocks are numbered the way they are is because it's the patron number. So the g17 is the 17th patron. G45 is the 45th patron, etc.

For me, watching Badger's content without pausing is like summoning Satan, the more I hear Gen z terminology, the more imps I see in a distance, ready to send my ass to space using a demonic shirt cannon the size of my torso.