I spent a day with people w/ PTSD

hiiii

Ooh!

HUI

ey

Hi

Its really stupid, when I talk to someone about my problems they feel the need to talk about how their problems are worse like dude I just want someone to listen.

@@captainmustacheio7493 ah sorry I meant more the clinical side of things/people throwing around mental illnesses like they're emotions. but yeahhh it's really annoying when people feel the need to one up your problems

@@canoncorgi oh I thought you ment the more annoying side of it but yea I agree, its like mental illness and disorders are an aesthetic now

@@captainmustacheio7493 yeah same
Like, one time I opened up to my boyfriend about my dad physically abusing me. I repressed all those memories and I didn’t even realize it had happened til I was 17... or I did, but I also didn’t? It’s hard to explain. Same experience as Kenneth. The memories were there but I wouldn’t let myself acknowledge them.
When I told my boyfriend, he started off with “it’s a good thing you can’t remember.” Everyone always says that. It’s not a good thing. I thought I was inherently flawed as a person for so long because I was so sad and scared all the time, but I couldn’t see that there was a reason behind it. I thought I had no right to feel that way because nothing happened.
Then he followed it up with everything that his mom put him through: marrying a guy who got convicted for murder, not feeding him enough, beating him worse than my dad beat me (at least, I assume. I still don’t know for sure how bad it was for either of us) ect. These things are all incredibly shitty but the more he talked, the guiltier I felt about not being able to remember what happened to me when it was so much worse for him. You know how all these people in the video can’t stand feeling weak? I’m the same and I hated myself *so* much in that moment, I can’t explain it to you. Every part of myself.

I have diagnosed ptsd and underwent treatment for it, but people often don't believe me or don't believe it's that serious. I have been dealing with this for 6 years, and it still impacts me. I can't concentrate, it's hard for me to learn new information, I get extremely frustrated and angry very easily, and I can't recall memories or information well anymore. I have to write things down. I still have nightmares occasionally. Having PTSD or CPTSD has lifelong consequences!

I’m not a therapist but aren’t they supposed to not talk about anything their clients have told them so they wouldn’t be allowed to talk about questions they get asked.

@@ABC-ji1lq of course they can’t talk about clients but I’m sure there are other questions that people may want to ask therapists regarding their job/lives that doesn’t involve confidential info

@@ABC-ji1lq theyre allowed to talk about situations as long as they dont give any indication on who that client was. I have a favorite podcast called psychology in seattle and they talk about experiences with clients but dont tell names, genders, career etc

I am about to be a psychologist next year, I was thinking this same thing!

Been asking for this episode!!

That wouldnt be the response of someone with morals and professionalism i'm sorry they said that to you remember you should never feel silenced. Peace

@@crowlc9416 btw u could say they instead of he/she. More respectful plus proper English

@@zerofornow right, english isn't my first language so im still tryna learn. Thanks

@@crowlc9416 okay

@@crowlc9416 They meant their abuser, not the therapist! Just clarifying bc u said "professionalism".

I do the same too! Seeing pictures of myself as a child/teen brings me emotional turmoil so I distance myself by calling that girl “her”

I do it too, we all in the same boat out here 💙

my young self was horrible and I try to move on from it. I also refer to my younger self as "her" because it just hurts to associate with that person now. It actually really helps

Same. I view past me as a different person. And I feel pain and regret when I look back at that me. I feel for them like they were someone else.
And to this day, I feel like I am 2 people. The body and then the mind. I hurt my body but then I feel bad for it. And then the body hurts me and I feel like this "me" doesn't deserve it.
Even when I practice positive thinking, I have to imagine 2 people so that it feels more...real.

Sameeeee

my dad says this to me, and it hurts because I know it's how his own dad taught him to cope. I've seen it make him miserable, but he survived. I just want to be authentically happy and communicate with him openly. The hardest part for me is feeling like this cycle just continues. I hope if I choose to have children I can break that cycle.

@@technicolorheroes i think you will be able to break the cycle, if you have kids of your own. being able to identify that there is a cycle and know how your words and actions affect your kids is the first and most important step

This comment made me cry. Because it's true. I was abused as a child by a family member. I didn't really know at the time that what he did was wrong. It happened only once but when I grew up I realized what he did. Decades already passed but there are moments that I remembered it then I just cry.

@@lazy_blipblop I FEEL this! I was sexually assaulted by my former stepfather who I thought I could TRUST as long as I had known the man. The day after it happened, I was told not to tell anyone and I didn't for fear of what he would/could do to me. He was verbally and emotionally abusive to my mom and younger sister whereas I got more of the physical from him as I would fight back with words and it'd piss him off. Took me almost a year before I told anyone about my assault. I did go to a hearing between him and my mom for their divorce on the off chance that I would have to testify against him and I didn't. Some of my classmates didn't believe me. They thought I made that story up just for attention. My mom and sister both were diagnosed with PTSD from the man. I didn't but I witnessed and still do witness how it has affected them over the years. My sister has now healed enough with the proper treatment for her that works for her to call this her lable.

“It doesn’t matter, you are/were too young to know anyways. it probably didnt/doesn’t happen”

I would honestly love to see it.

Yeeeees i was about to comment that, only if he wants to of course

Dude, I was JUST thinking that! The way he relates his own stories to the people he interviews really intrigues me.

you should def watch his draw his life story!! it’s really good i recommend! but i 100% agree with you i would love to watch this!

They sorta did this in the Trash Tase podcast, actually titled "We Spent a Day with Anthony Padilla"

ya, its sad how no emotional abused ptsd people were in the video. I was emotionally abused and bullied and now i have ptsd.....I still am glad theres a video on it, but ptsd is not just sexual assult or war victims

@Miranda cutie cat Damn straight, never thought I'd need to hear this so bad on a Wednesday afternoon. Thanks, means a lot. Been through a good few years of bullying and terrible stuff, was told that because I had no physical scars from it it didn't matter. You have no idea how invalidated I get sometimes because people say I haven't been through enough for it to matter. Kudos to you, ya almost had me in tears 💙

As someone who'd dealt with emotional and mental abuse from my mother, I can relate very much to what you thought. That feeling of invalidating your emotions because "well, she doesn't hit me" or "oh, well it could be worse".
I recently did a test answering questions that my psychiatrist had me fill out (idk if cognitive test is the right word?) but I scored high for PTSD, among other things I had already been previously diagnosed with. Idk if that was an official diagnosis, but I remember being surprised. I didn't realize how much it had effected me since it was just normal. I remember bring confused because I described some of my symptoms to my triplet sister (getting scared at loud noises or footsteps, being upset when some raises their voice at me, flinching, etc) and they said they had never experienced that. I remember being confused why, since we went through the same things.
I realized that we did have different experiences as well as different coping mechanisms and the way our brains dealt and perceived it. We're all different and if one person develops PTSD because of it and someone else doesn't, that doesn't mean you're weaker. It just means that you're different and that's okay

My younger sister was recently diagnosed with PTSD from being mentally abused and I am trying to learn how to be there for her since she just started therapy. Do you maybe have some tips for how I as her older sister can help her going through it?

@@desiree3792 I also have an older sister and honestly both of us never stop learning how to help 😅
Everyone is different so I'd say really listen to her. It's painful to remember trauma. Learn her triggers if she has any and if she does get triggered just let her know you're there for her. If she asks you to leave her alone do so. I guess it's mostly just....listen to her. As I said in the original comment, never forget that her trauma is valid. It's painful to remember. And just looking at you're comment I can tell-shes lucky to have a sister who cares and wants to be there ♡

Especially in the teen years. So many kids pressured by others

Yep I feel that my first memory is me in a complex hanging out with this boy named Joel n we were "exploring" or playing house n his mom walked in I was maybe 7 ❤

I’ve been hearing so many cases lately about child on child SA…and I feel a lot of it comes down to parents not teaching there kids the importance of keeping hands to themselves! Every kid needs to understand that They shouldn’t be touching any other child anywhere other then maybe the other kids hand to give something…Because then that leads to curiousity/cluelessness and they end up doing things they shouldn’t.

Same ❤️

Same. No one to talk with about it so I was glad to listen to them

Same ❤️

Such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders with this video, means a lot to me and I’m sure everyone else suffering.

Same 💕

Wow that’s awful

Yeah it's a big problem. I feel like schools are really bad in that area too. I'm so sorry your friend went through that but I'm so glad to see you here giving her a voice. I love you 💙

schools suck, I have never dealt with anything to the scale of your friend, but I did go through my school trying to avoid accepting I have adhd for some reason, blaming my lack of attention and hyperactivity on the food I ate or even my parents.

Your head of year shouldn't be your head of year, in my opinion.

Schools really don’t care. They pretend they do but they just don’t. The trauma I’ve got just from my school experience…anyway, I hope your friend is in a better place now and getting much needed help! ❤️

This is a really good topic idea to bring up, it grinds my fucking gears every time I see anything relating to it. Completely monetized exploitation and abuse is so dehumanizing to see.

i cant stand people living through their children , making money through their children, it’s sick

ur so right he should do that

This !!! I have so much trauma from childhood and from the people I live with (living with family still). I feel like this isn’t talked about a lot or I don’t hear it from anyone outside of my friend group

It's the feeling of being trapped that hit home the most for me. These people are supposed to care for you and protect you, but now you're in a house that isn't a home, more like solitary confinement, and you have nowhere else to go.

@@dovee1 Omg… Yes… Trapped is definitely a familiar feeling. Like being in a war zone with no escape.

Oh my god, yes. Thank you for saying this. It really hit hard, due to me being in a environment like you explained. My mother was nice, for the most part, But sometimes she'd just get set off and take her anger out on me, like a stress toy. I ended up calling the
police after I turned twelve. Emotional abuse is a valid form of abuse, and I dont understand why people don't get that. It's like being confined to chains because THEY don't understand you. Even though i'm older, I still think about it alot. Being in a confined environment like that is not fun. And I really do hope it's taken to notice. Thank you for this.

Facts! It may not be war but it feels like war for anyone who's been through it

It's so invalidating! I remember having social workers and my own therapist tell me that some kids had it worse so they weren't sure if they should allow me to get out of my abusive home. I feel like that's not something any kid or adult should be told regarding their trauma, it's not a damn competition!

This frequently happens in the uk, a lot of my friends and myself have been told either we aren’t bad enough to help. One therapist of mine even said about a way one of her clients self harms and that put ideas in my head. I’ve had more bad experiences than good with uk therapists

Wow didn't realise this was something others experience in the UK. Thought it might be because I'm not a citizen.

@@chelsealouise3203 that's devastating to hear. I have to admit that a lot of therapist are not good at their jobs. I knew a girl who has 3 masters in psychology, a phd on her way and she's been working with clients for over 10 years and she still cant get her own mental illness under control (she has bpd traits. ) therapists usually go into this field to study their own mind/emotions and not so much to help others.

yea, both doctors and therapists have said it to me, it's so annoying

I related to that as well. It is so difficult to look at childhood pictures of me. I have flashbacks and have massive panic attacks bc when I see that girl in the pictures I start reliving the trauma. I've been in therapy for 20 years and I still have severe flashbacks. I also have severe depression, Bipolar disorder and severe trouble coping with any type of trauma. It all stems from the trauma in my childhood and just builds every time something happens. I am also an empath and I have other people's trauma that builds on top of my own.

It feels like the person you were back then is a stranger and it’s terrifying, because I feel that way too about me from before my first big trauma at age 13. Recently got diagnosed with CPTSD, at age 20 and I feel like it explains a lot about how I wasn’t Abel to cope with my past experiences.

Same. Just got diagnosed with C-PTSD and ADHD and life makes so much more sense now. But anytime I look at old photos, I feel like I'm looking at a stranger.

yes.. looking at that girl thinking how strong she was. but you're even stronger now too❤️god bless everyone in these comments who relates.

Highly relatable. Blessed be, may your journeys and efforts bring you peace ♡

I almost cried, I was told the same exact thing by my mom. Is hard, and you know what I gave it a thought cause I thought she was right, but then I realized, that's exactly what I did my hole life! I forgot so much that it f*ck me up when all came back and there is still some stuff that come out from time to time at random.

I feel this. I try to communicate my feelings with my family and they just say I'm too sensitive and need to be stronger. I fear I have to accept they are not going to heal this trauma with me.

I one time talked to a counselor, (I don't have ptsd btw) and she said "Why not just move on?" Like, yeah... geez... why didn't I think of that...? Anyway, I can sort of relate in this type of situation cause of that.

@@joenysfraticelli9485 True, we must let go, forget and live on, but the problem is how to do this ?? when this trauma does not come out of the head ???? and the larger the wound, the more painful it is, and the longer it heals ... and affects your life

As a person who carries a baggage of trauma from the past I can say that you can try to move on. Forget? Never. When something hurts us physically and psychologically it is impossible to forget, it is what protects us from similar future situations. Fear is a natural instinct, being afraid for example, to put a hand on a burning flame, because it burns us, is what prevents us from putting our hand on the fire, when we have learned that fire hurts. The same is true for any kind of trauma. This is said by a person who did not answer the phone for a year, even if he knew the number of who he was calling. You don't have to live in the past, it's true, but no one can change it ... you can only look forward and try to live with what you have.

I am so sorry you had to witness that. I’m so happy that you’re in therapy and going through the process of healing. I can’t imagine how hard that is to deal with. Sending love ❤️

Thank you for sharing your struggles 💙 I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Thank you for sharing your story ❤ I hope you won't experience something like that again

I am so sad you had to see and live those awful things.
I wanted to say, therapy is THE way to have a healthy life with PTSD. Idk where I'd be without my therapist, and for me I feel like I will forever go to her whenever I feel I'm not ok, but also research, read about it and learn so you can notice when is comming and also talk about it with the people around you so they can support you.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Same I just stop think of little her as me since I keep thinking ,no that cant be me that didn't happen. PTSD is tough

I feel the exact same. When i look at photos of me as a young child i feel no connection. Like everyone tells me thats me but I dont feel like it is at all.

I don't have ptsd but I do have trauma and I feel exactly the same. Part of me doesn't want to relate to this person because I was weak but also because I'm a completely different person now than I was then. I had to kill younger me in order for future me to stay alive and survive.

@@cennix Over the years it does get better. I completely understand what you mean too but sometimes I see my past self as someone that went through a lot of challenges and had gotten through it. Don't be so hard on yourself in the end.

@presley9679 thank you, that made me feel a lot better. Some part of me still mours for my younger self before the trauma, my young self was just so much more colourful and happy. I miss her :(

really upset to hear that that happened to you!! i hope you know that you’re completely valid and it is definitely possible to find another psychiatrist that actually cares

That flat earther thing wasn't a skit actually! Anthony was trying to interview people who were flat earthers to see why they might think that way and what their logic is. I definitely agree though, he's come a very long way.

@@Dragonindigo245 Are you sure? Jeez, some of the stories seemed very comical. Though I could be mistaking it for the Alien one? Either way thanks for correcting me!

@@grime69 Yeah I'm sure. Anthony remains very respectful of those he interviews, even if they are a big nutty. The only comical ones I can think of are the Thomas Sanders one and the very old animators interview. He tries to keep beliefs to a respectable level and stuff like CC's a bit comedic.

Your not the only one. This happened to me to. I hope ur doing ok

It happened to me when I was 5, I feel the same way

As someone for who it was a cousin, what made me feel better was to hear the ages. I always thought somehow it was "less worse" or "more justifyable" for him because he was a young teen and not an older adult, and I thought that getting out of it by myself made it more only my responsability than how it was for other people, so I had less right to talk about it...
This whole video was a good idea.

@@naolucillerandom5280 same. i was a teenager and my sibling was a young adult. teenagers being assaulted needs to be talked about more, thats very much still p*dophilia

It happened to my 11 year old sister who recently came out and told us because she was scared. You arent alone, and you and my sister are incredibly strong

yep. my trauma is from watching floodwaters rise when i was only 3. for years people have called me ridiculous for having panic attacks when it rains but this comment made me feel better

I know exactly what you mean

Way too relatable

That joyful innocent little girl has died....
I still try to act like her.... Pretend that... That girl IS me...
But I still present her to the world... That's why probably all my friends think I'm like the most innocent in the group and the most childish one.....

same, and not that I recommend it for everyone, but psilocybin mushrooms really helped my mental health. I’m still healing, still reconnecting with my old self, but it’s helped me realize that I am whoever I think I am, and I can connect with people a lot easier, finally put myself in their shoes instead of just dismissing them since nobody understands me. ive remembered a lot of repressed childhood memories over the months after my experience. overall memory & emotions are growing stronger tbh. it’s been two years now, and I’m finally back to working. I call it a win. I haven’t been a normal person since I was a kid :’) we’re getting there

thank you for sharing your story shaylena 💞

Yoo

Why isn’t this comment on the top

How did you get on the episode? I would like to somehow share my story sometime through doing stuff like this but idk how. Also you are very brave. Thx for being willing to take the time to do this.

We love you, Shayleena! Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Seriously, I get so scared to talk about my trauma because nothing physical happened, it was all psychological, and I keep seeing these people online and in person saying stuff like: "You don't have any physical scars, so you don't have trauma. You're just attention seeking." Which absolutely hurts. Others need to realize that what isn't traumatic to them may be extraordinarily traumatic to others.

@@maggieeight-ball16 Agreed!!! there’s so many experiences that i’ve gone through that i justified to myself that i wasn’t physically harmed so it wasn’t abusive/traumatic to me but psychological harm can do more damage in the long run to the way a person lives the rest of their life, i’m wishing you the best, your pain is absolutely valid and no one should have to experience feeling like they’re trauma isn’t real. if it effects you it 100% matters. fuck anyone who says otherwise. they are just lucky enough to not have experienced it

@@jade_kms Legit. People like you help me feel more confident talking about it. I feel so validated when people tell me I'm not over reacting. Especially when you consider the type of person I was before I had my experience, I hope it'd make it make more sense why I'd react the way I did.

Tysm that's very kind of u :)

I wonder what that girl meant by we all experience trauma, like what did she meant by trauma, the girl with multi colored hair

how old was the cousin & did he go to jail? i really hope your parents told the police

you are inspiring! thank you for using your voice. i love your smile so please keep smiling and you’re a strong woman. thankyou for your courage

Hi

You definitely reached my heart! Thank you so much for sharing your story. 💞🙌💞

Just a few hours ago I watched Thoraya's video where strangers share their secrets. And now I watched this video. I was really surprised to recognize you in this video. You are even wearing the same shirt haha.

@@nvm4086 hahaha I told her that too! I’m
Like “people on KRplus are gonna think I own one shirt” 🤣🤣🤣

Part of it is because they don’t even realise they were abused. It happened to me. I blocked some of it out and some of it I was never told was abuse. I didn’t get ptsd until I realised what happened or maybe I had it and that’s when it got worse. Parents need to tell children what’s ok, what’s normal, what’s safe and that if something happens to go to them for help.

so many people get ignored just because they weren't SA'd or a victim of violence.. the root of my trauma was a nasty divorce followed by abuse by school peers

Yeah happened to me and a lot of people in the UK too

i don’t think she meant for free

Thank you for sharing with us all!

SA is almost always a family member or someone close. The child usually trusts the abuser.

That's why you should always believe a child that tells you about it.. so sad

Nugget what happens a lot of time is the kid doesn’t understand what happened was wrong. The guy in this video didn’t quite understand. It seems the girl didn’t understand until she got a little older.

Unfortunately it’s often minimized because it’s usually child on child abuse :/

I was too.

Oh man. I’ve lost a lot of my memory too due to PTSD! It’s like my brain can’t contain the information anymore. It sucks!!

Especially when you feel like you can’t tell anyone or talk about it, makes it so much harder

Should we start a band?

Same but for me it was an older cousin. It was so confusing bc I knew if an adult did it to me it was wrong, but if it were another child??? It took me so many years to accept that it was traumatic

Same here & to hear from people who are further along in life & on different journeys. I relate to aspects from each one of them & that overall feeling of disbelief or unsupportive families & carrying that burden yourself.
I’ve been in SA counselling for over a year now & it’s done so much for me. If you are thinking about starting counselling - DO IT. It will change your life. It will be hard at first but then it will get easier to manage & self soothe in hard times & easier to confront your trauma & trauma responses!! Love to you all ❤️

Yeah! I feel like that's something no one ever talks about seriously, people only sexualize it

I’m so sorry your family doesn’t believe you. It’s not nearly the same as having loved ones there for you, but just know your not alone. We are so many people going through similar issues and we do believe you ❤️ I truly hope you get the support you need to find some healing ❤️‍🩹

If you’re comfortable sharing could you explain the difference between PTSD and CPTSD? If you don’t want to that’s okay, and I’m sorry that happened to you, no one should have to go through that

@@cglint I really appreciate that, thank you. 💕💕

@@icypopsicle9082 hi there. PTSD is usually related to a single traumatic event while Complex PTSD is related to multiple traumas over an extended period of time.

My partner didn't believe me either. I ended up attacking him in my sleep & I never knew or realized it. After that he believed me. Don't do this, but eventually there will be something weird or off about your behavior through no fault of your own & they will realize. Please invest in quality therapy, quality food & simple exercise habits. You owe yourself self love ❤

I had a similar incident happen to me I was terrified of driving due to the car crash. I’m 33 I just started to drive a year again only streets not freeway yet. But there is hope. I hope one day you can over come your fear too.

PTSD can be from anything. I have car driving PTSD too along with other trauma. I'm glad you are working through it.

girl me too!!! im still scared to sit in cars and whenever the car im sitting gets just a tiny bit close to another car i immediately get flashbacks. i broke my nose in the accident i was in and it took almost 3 or 4 weeks for my nose to completely heal. you're so strong. and i hope one day i overcome my trauma as well :)

I had truama from a dream i had- which i actually felt while asleep. Even though its in my sleep i felt it. And it felt so strange... that.. anytime. I get it a car- or even drive close to something big enough like a truck or a bus. It gives me huge anxiety and to start panicking and hyperventilating.. (which if you get to that point either try to remain calm or have someone else you fully trust to drive you) i got ptsd already from. Like. Being s/a ed by a friend when i was 14. So i thought like. This dream i had- wasnt ptsd enduced. But thats because i already got ptsd. Why have it froms something that didnt actually happen. Its very scary how our brains really impact us. Emotionally and mentally.

ive had something like this happen to me no one was injured but a big bus almost hit me the front of the bus touched the back of my leg and now anytime I'm by where it happened i get memories of what happened most of the time but have no idea if its a mild form of ptsd or just normal

Yep… Had this happen today, then the floodgates opened unexpectedly while processing a traumatic memory in therapy.

Agreed, this and same gender assaults.

As a 22 years old male that's been abused sexually by a drum teacher that I've seen like a dad from 12 to 14 years old. I can't help but cry about it alone and trying to cope by drinking and watching videos of people talking about it, so yeah we definitely need this. By the way if anyone reading this has similar problems go check out the therapist episode with Corey Taylor the singer from slipknot. He experienced a lot of trauma and abuse and talks about it openly, it may help you just like it helped me.

@@mreddyfeelgood I’m so sorry you had to go through that. No one should have to experience that trauma and pain. I hope you are in a better place now.

@@mreddyfeelgood i am proud of you that now you are able to talk/type that. I hope it was cathartic to you. I salute you. I hope you're doing okay now and continue being great :)

@@mreddyfeelgood i'm so sorry this happened to you. you absolutely didnt deserve it. i think you're so brave for saying this. i wish you the best in life. sending love and prayers :)

No, don’t be sorry for writing. I’m so glad that it stopped and it’s sad that you were ever put in this position. I pray that you heal and realize that you were the victim and it’s not your fault. Sending love 💕

It definitely counts as SA, no matter how old you both were. You didn’t give consent so he had absolutely no right to touch you. I hope you realize that none of this is your fault, wish you all the best❤️

it's not your fault at all. I hope you are able to go to therapy or some kind of support group, talk to someone you trust and heal.

i’m so sorry that happened to you, that sounds really traumatic and you didn’t deserve that to happen to you, thank you for sharing your story
i hope you’re able to reach out to a professional and heal from that experience, you seem like a lovely person and deserve to heal

It wasn' t your fault, I hope you find comfort in therapy or with close friends 💙

Yeah it’s really sucky. Having it come from someone who you’re innately supposed to trust is.. very difficult. It makes trust in anything or anyone else pretty much impossible for a long time. How could you ever expect anyone to be reliable and trustworthy when all the major people in your life from the very beginning have never been that way. When all you’ve ever known is that letting go of control and vigilance over your situation will have dire consequences. Bottom line is, it’s totally not rad ( ´_ゝ`) but I guess that’s just how it goes, life gives you shitty cards and you have to sink or swim.

I mean everybody copes in different ways, wether it's comics or tv shows, as long as it's helping you it's fine

You are valid, keep doing what you love

I remember I would make characters and stories based off things that happened to me to cope. Even if it wasn't traumatic, if I got dumped by my girlfriend, I would still draw and write and listen to music in order to feel better about it.
Art is truly a powerful thing.

Dude!!! Me too! Batman has been my hero since before my abuse, he made it feel like he was now watching over me and it wouldnt happen again right? 🦇

Hi, i was in a car accident and had (and still have but less) lots of stress around roads. I went to a therapist for EMDR therapy for a few sessions and it really helped. Just saw the comment was a year ago but I hope you had the chance to heal

First time I've ever seen someone use toxic masculinity properly in the comments! Great job. All to often it's used to demonize men for being men. But saying "you're a man, just get over it" is a perfect example of toxic masculinity.

That part hit me too, I started crying out of the realization. I'm autistic too. I hope we can heal from how covid impacted us in that way

@@Oliver-bq4pp hopefully things are better for you now. It took so long for me to get back to a routine and schedule that worked for me. Sending good vibes to you!

Also autistic. The initial loneliness threw me in for worsened depression symptoms.

I'm not autistic, But I hope you get new routines going and find ways to get yourself going too!:D

Not autistic, but I also experienced this. Can't imagine how it was for you.. hope you guys are all doing better ❤

@@curtisvenom3243 I am so so sorry that happened. There are many good people out there who will love you for who you are and if you need to talk I am right here

@@curtisvenom3243 so sorry that happened to you. I hope one day if you need it, you can seek therapy, Ive heard it helps a lot. I hope you find your happiness and love in your life.

@@curtisvenom3243honestly I agree, I am not someone with PTSD however I do know a therapist so I asked them about it, and they said that for the first few sessions it feels like it doesn't go away at all, if not gets worse, but after 3 or 4 sessions it gets much better, and they said that it was always recommend, although I have to take it with a pinch of salt because they are a therapist themselves (sorry I'm late I didn't see the notification)

@@curtisvenom3243 Thank you and I agree, it seems like you are capable of dealing with it for the most part. However I have to ask, do you hope to overcome it, or forget it and let it fade away, just curious

@@curtisvenom3243 no no it's fine and thank you

Agreed👍

Well Karl (Karl Jacobs) said he’s one of the nicest people he know so he’s most likely a great friend and person :)

@@Gracieewaciee ohh thank you!!

@Cactuss there’s multiple youtubers and fans that have met Anthony and said he’s one of the nicest people they’ve met so I think he’s actually a good guy

He’s basically who Shane Dawson tries to be

If you don’t mind me asking, how do you go about finding one? I’m on my own with everything at this point and I have no idea where to even begin, trauma therapy wise.

@@ttylxoxo1929 my therapist is also a firefighter, so he gets it. Tbf I was lucky to find him but its worth finding out about your therapist, what previous life experience they have etc

@@ttylxoxo1929 go on psychology today and you can filter by therapists who specialize in trauma and who take your insurance

What’s an emotional flashback like. I think I’ve had that

Would you say you recovered?

I’m so sorry that happened to you! I’ve definitely had bad therapists who I’ve had to stop seeing cause they made things worse - shopping around for therapists is hard to do when you’re in a trauma space, but is so important to find good care!

yep i had a similar experience where my therapist stopped seeing me because she couldn't figure out what the cause of my anxiety was and "it doesn't seem to bad"

This is honestly my biggest fear regarding therapy and the reason I’ve never tried it. I’d hate to open up about all my struggles and then being dismissed as not “broken enough”.

but what if its true? they can’t be treating just everybody

@@cherylahx127so I asked my counselor about it this morning and she mentioned that in principle, denying someone care/diminishing their experiences goes against the core of being a counselor. She might disagree with one diagnosis in favor of another, but a good counselor would never minimize someone’s pain.

Same… My dad called my brother’s sexual abuse childhood curiosity (without knowing the details), and also said “That was so long ago…”

@@Elya08 similar thing happened to me. When I finally told my mom about my sister sexually abusing me as a child, she hit me with the “well, kids get curious you know.. are you sure blah blah blah.” And I was like.. so shocked and bitter that I started crying, and I’m not usually a crier. And then she tried to press me for details so I could somehow confirm that what happened was abuse. And I just shut the door in her face and told her never to bring it up to me again.

@@alice-8566 Yuck… I’m really sorry that happened to you. It’s never okay when a parent dismisses their child, especially over sexual abuse issues.

*you're the survivor of an ABUSIVE mother

@@theemptypeanutsystem8431 a survivor as I want to see myself, thank you

@@ivinae dont be ableist while describing your trauma. Was your mom diagnosed with NPD? probably not and even if she was, narcissistic does not equal abusive. Abusive does not equal narcissistic. Sure someone can be both, but to call abuse narcissism is stigmatizing, untrue, and ableism. -another abuse survivor

@@theemptypeanutsystem8431 Yes, my mother is diagnosed, and also of schizoid personality disorder. I would say that hitting, threatening and insulting your kids for your whole life is abusive behaviour, maybe in your home that's normal. Those who defend abusers so lightly only can be another abuser (angry after being described and revealed) or a hypocrite who wants to feel like a saint for doing "what anybody else does". Good luck, both are terrible

@@ivinae I always found myself in between people who said my mother is abusive and crazy for doing those things, and that I should get away, and people who say it's normal, or that it's bad but I should just suck it up bc she's my mother, so it's been a weird time. She herself has admitted that she knows she's f*cked up, but she doesn't seen to be able stop or change, specially when my dad keeps enabling and justifying her.
I have commented on my experiences regarding the topic handled in the video, but in the end it isn't the stupid perv who keeps me up at night crying of anger, fear, or hopelesness, or made me wish I just wasn't in this world for as long as I can remember, or made me feel trapped and like I was going insane.
It always comes back to her.

This.

Sometimes it is hard for other people to notice, my trauma happened in early childhood and no one knew about it until i said something when I was 15, to protect myself and survive I had to do as if nothing happened, that’s what I thought and what I did. My mom blamed herself for not seeing anything and I had to tell her that it wasn’t her fault because I was the one who hid everything from everyone until I was at my breaking point. Your brain just becomes so good at masking your feelings to protect yourself that it often becomes impossible for others to notice unless you talk about it.

I’ve always wondered if a horrible dentist appointment could be considered trauma. It sounds stupid but it was a horrible time full of pain and fear and it’s happened twice. I never wanted to self diagnose so I just thought “it isn’t bad enough for PTSD” but now I’m wondering about it. A lot of the flashback symptoms that they describe are similar to how I react passing a dentist office or being in one. I start shaking uncontrollably and sometimes I cry cause I wanna leave and the memories are just in my mind the entire time. But I have been diagnosed with anxiety so idk if it’s just anxiety or if that was really trauma that has affected me.

@@not_gabi6508, medical trauma is a thing. One person, I can think of as a good example is Jessica Kelgren, she may have a video on it.
IDK if it's PTSD, I've never been formally diagnosed with it myself, nor really met anyone who has been open of it. But, it does sound like you have some trauma if you act like that. Lol, can very much relate to the shaking and feeling of just wanting to cry and escape.

@@not_gabi6508 that does sound like you experienced something traumatic and you are displaying a trauma response to that. It could be PTSD. It could also be a phobia of the dentist, especially if you have heightened anxiety. I am not a professional at all, you should seek help from a licensed psychologist. But no matter what the diagnosis might be, I’m sorry you have gone through that and that it effects your life so much still. Living in fear is a horrible thing. I hope it gets better!

I'm so sorry, I genuinely hope this was a one-time thing and you found someone that would take your struggles seriously and who you could trust. Suffering is not a competition. No matter what anyone has beeh through, we're all allowed to feel like shit. And we all deserve happiness. And there is no shame in admitting that maybe you might need a little help on your way to get there. But please don't let assholes like this be a major hurdle. You deserve to heal and you deserve to be happy.

If you don’t mind me asking what caused your trauma

@@thegameplace3748 Being groomed and assaulted sexually most my childhood. Also lots of DV stuff from my father. Honestly remember thinking it was strange how I was only allowed to watch G and PG rated shows when my life was R rated

@@AzuraFallen DV?

@@thegameplace3748 domestic violence

Channelling all the strength and happiness in the world to you~

I hope you find healing in therapy of close friends, thank you for sharing 💙

This is heartbreaking. You're so strong for getting threw this and I really hope everything turns out okay. Have you tried calling a hotline?

I can really relate to your experience. I also had a narcissistic mom like that and she didn’t teach me any of those things either. I had to get my grandma to teach me to drive, and I figured out how to get my first job on my own (I had to walk there and back sometimes in the dark. I’m still so thankful I never got assaulted) and I eventually put myself through college without any help from her. She also cut me off completely when I made it clear I couldn’t just become a genie and give her money to support her, she completely abandoned me emotionally too. I tried to stay in contact as a daughter but she was so toxic. She really believed it was my job to care for her as soon as I became an adult, even though I could barely care for myself since I had no help from her. I haven’t heard from her in years because the last time I tried reaching out and calling her on Mother’s Day she cruelly said, “Well it’s my day and I don’t want to talk to you.” I have no idea what I did to deserve that kind of treatment. My father was no better since he abandoned me and my sisters when we were all young and haven’t spoken to him in years either. Needless to say, I’ve been diagnosed with C-PTSD. Anyway I just wanted you to know you’re not alone, and I hope you’re in a better place now. 💗💗💗

Literally me right now 😅

YES omg I did the same thing when I was a teen, before I understood my trauma. Also, that would mean that everyone would be at work/school which made me feel safer.

I second this. I also have Trich, it is an ongoing struggle for me and often feels extremely isolating.

I have tricotillomania and I was just thinking about this before seeing your comment!!

I agree about people joking about PTSD. I usually see people saying this in the context of something embarrassing or something that they look back on with less positivity than they experienced in the moment.
For example, I am a person of faith and I used to go on trips with my church to this thing called Kingdom Bound, a Christian festival at Darien Lake amusement park. We were all high school students that went, and we did very cringy things. I have often heard other people that went on these trips say “oh my gosh, don’t show me that photo (of the trip), it gives me PTSD” or “ew, this song gives me flashbacks to Kingdom Bound”.
In this context, it is clear to tell that these people are joking, don’t have a clear understanding of what PTSD is really like, and as someone who actually struggles with PTSD as well as flashbacks, I do find it insensitive and offensive.
Now, that is not to minimize anyone else’s experiences with trauma. Trauma happens in many forms and intensities. But trauma DOES NOT EQUAL PTSD. I’ll say it again for the folks in the back, trauma does not equal PTSD. I agree with the person in this video that said we don’t need to compare traumas and we don’t need to compete for who has had the most miserable life. I actually hate that so much. However, people shouldn’t be saying they have PTSD as a joke, or as a way of saying they have a negative association with something. It’s just not the same thing. Even if something is traumatic to someone, that isn’t the same thing as PTSD and I wish the video discussed that more.
The way I see it, this is the same thing as someone saying they have OCD just because they are very neat or a perfectionist. Their experience of being particular and feeling the need to make everything just right is still valid, it just isn’t the same thing as OCD. It’s simply incorrect. And it is offensive to people who actually go through the unique set of hardships that go along with OCD. The same is true when applying the same scenario in a conversation about PTSD. We can have empathy for each other’s situations while still understanding that there is a difference between them.

Thank you for saying this! I struggle with wording my feelings but this is it. I sometimes will be in the car with a friend and go “sorry for having to reschedule so much I had a sorta bad trauma relapse the other day” and her dad, multiple times is like “oh we know about trauma *friends younger brother* is gonna have PTSD from *friend* yelling at him” and once I said “sorry everything’s been a lot, I went to the mental hospital yesterday so I’m exhausted” and he went “why” and when I explained he said “that’s not that bad, you would’ve been fine”
Her dad is also someone who says the R slur aloe and got mad when I said it was a slur just like the n word so he shouldn’t say it, even behind closed doors

God*

How do you make a joke about that

Yeah it happens to more disorders too, like OCD and ADHD for example
It downplays the struggles people go through and I hope you're doing okay

his mother raised him very well

Same that man was written ,published and produced by women

@@Gracieewaciee period

@@soya9152 just bc people are great doesn't mean that the parents were, I don't get this saying

Me too, he's such a sweetheart.

I feel really sorry for you, what happened to you is rough. But your care for your mother is still a beautiful thing, even if you know she did something horrible, you don't want her to pay consequences for it.
I don't want to push you to do anything, as I think I probably wouldn't be able to myself, but maybe you should try to talk about this directly with your mom. Normally you would expect the person that have done the horrible thing to talk about it with the victim but sometimes the guilt on their side is as big (if not bigger, they did something terrible after all while you didn't do anything wrong, you even did quite the opposite actually) as yours.
So maybe, if you don't want to talk about it with your therapist which is understandable considering the risk, you should talk with the person concerned.
I've never actually told this anyone in my life, but I sa my cousin (which was at the time one year younger than me) when I was about 13. It wasn't like some extreme stuff, I just kissed her in her sleep and gave her a few caresses on her arms and legs, but after some time went by, I started feeling really bad about it. (Kinda like what Kenneth said) I've gone through depression and my cousin is going through it too. I feel like part of mine was because I hated myself for what I did, and I feel like I'm responsible for part of hers. I still haven't talked with her about it. I certainly lack the courage but it's also because I fear to bring her back something she hated while she is the most down in her life. I fear that I remind her of it, while she may have been sleeping through it all, and she feels even worse because of that. I fear that it will ruin the relation between my parents and hers that loves each other so much. It's pretty horrible because maybe we're both waiting for it and she is feeling even worse as time goes on, building that stress of not talking about it to anyone because she also fears to break things.
I don't want to make myself look like a victim for what I did since I'm the one at fault, but since then I've had real difficulties to even talk with girls. Most of my relatioships were ruined because of it. Sometimes, I found myself shaking for no reason in fear of being judged, even now after therapy.
I know I did something terrible and, trust me, I hate myself for it but I was only 13, kinda lonely and a bit nihilistic.
So you know, I'm probably on the opposite spectrum of what you lived, and I feel like what would really help me to talk about it all with her is that I have a clear indication that she is open to talking with me.
Anyways, if you wanna talk, here's my Twitter : @Winter_Beast2
just send me messages on how your situation is going and I'll try my best to help in any possible way I can.

Please ignore the other insensitive and selfish reply someone sent. I am glad you were able to relate to their stories in the video, it's nice knowing you are never alone. I can't imagine how hard it must feel to be brushed off when explaining your trauma to someone, just know no one's reaction determines how valid it is. You mentioned that your image of your mom is skewed up with this "caring mom" and "abuser." Here's something that may help. Abusers don't always keep up one facade, to some they are a caring neighbor, a good worker, etc. It makes it so much harder to understand because you would think they act like this to everyone, right? However, abusers care a lot about how others perceive them so they want to be seen as good.
It may be hard thinking about reporting her because you feel like you in a way betrayed her, but it's the complete opposite. If you want to seek justice for yourself a different way by moving out and living free from there I get that! Now I can't tell you whether or not legal action would be taken, but chances are if you told your therapist they are legally required to tell someone. Again this could depend on where you live so don't quote me on this. Perhaps you could anonymously send a report? Whatever road you pick I wish you the best.

@@Hi-ys4mc That's not cool. I just wanted to give him some insight on how his mother may be feeling and how to fix their relationship. I didn't ask anything in return either, I just wanted to help.
Maybe he doesn't want to hurt his mother the way she hurted him, which is understandable.
And sorry if I sound selfish for it but I'm also an human being and that really hurted me. It's the first time I'm talking about it to someone else and that's the first reaction I get.

@@Hi-ys4mc And before immediatly asking him/her to throw his/her mom away, I think a good talk is probably way better.
You've got to understand why she did that or you could live with the question in your mind for your whole life.
Of course if she fakes the fact that she don't remember, doesn't care or anything like that, then you should do what's necessary and Hi advice is good, but it's still your mom, the person who raised you and certainly loved you. (Tell me if I'm wrong) So talking first seems to be for the better in my opinion.
Personally that's what I wish I'll be able to do with my cousin.

@@winterbeast6326 Well it's selfish to talk about how you sexually assaulted someone under the comment of someone pouring their heart out about being sexually abused by their mom. Time and place dude. Especially since you are gaslighting them into thinking their mom "loves" them. No one who loves a child would inflict that pain on them, when you love someone you care about them.

Thank you so much for this

I agree, but I also wished it was more clear it is not just sexual assult too, I have PSTD and it was because someone emotionallly abused me, not physical...I wish that had more representation but im glad there's some representation with ptsd, because its widely mis-interpretated

sorry if that came wrong.....I love and do appreciate his videos...but to me the purpose was not to misinterpret ptsd....and well he only showed one category...SA...I'm not saying that this video wasn't trying to misinterpret it and I appreciated the stories but it came off that way to me. I was made fun of constantly by some person to the point my brain felt threatened...there is emotional abuse, physical abuse and both play roles in the situation...I wish the video had more categories of ptsd