Pretend That You Love Me

I've been working on this film for almost a year now and am beyond excited to finally share it. It is a deeply personal film and I hope it can offer people some sort of catharsis like it has for me. The film will be available here, for free, indefinitely, I understand if you choose to come back and watch it some other time. Thanks for your time and, as always, if you make a movie I'll watch it too.
EDIT: Thank you for all the lovely comments, I’m reading them all and doing my best to respond. I recommend watching the movie before reading the comments as they might give too much away.

"I'm not sure if this is too soon, but, do you wanna see a magic trick?"
That's definitely going in the arsenal.

"Do you have people you talk to, about your... life and the shit that goes wrong?"
I took a break for an hour there.

This film is absolutely incredible. Never have I been so suspended in disbelief at acting, to the point that I’m still questioning what was real and what was scripted. I even cried, which I haven’t done for a film in like a decade. Beautiful.

Joel, I was friends with my partner for years. I knew she was the one after we watched this together and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said it was beautiful. (Obviously I knew well before that but that solidified our shared appreciation of meta-narratives and appreciation of different kinds of love.) So thanks for giving me a two hour conversation about this film with the person I love.

"I have all the shirts now."
Just hit really hard emotionally.

Besides being an emotional wreck, Joel's sock game is on point for this entire film.

Jesus Christ man this is an incredible film and you should be so proud!!!

This is probably my 4th time watching this film, I seem to always come back to it when a moment in my life has some sort of similarity to the film, and I find it really comforting. This film has such a wild way of capturing a odd style of reality for films involving romance, especially in comparison to other romance films with their fast paced relationships very fictitious ideas of romance. Its just something about the slow burn of events that is really special, the quiet moments where you think the take should've ended and the long pauses are deafening. I really enjoy this film and will come back yet again.

I feel like I shouldn’t be watching this. Like this is someone’s private footage. But I also feel like I shouldn’t be watching this because it’s my footage. Ya know.

Honestly the fact that he's coming back almost a year later to read comments shows how much he cared for this piece. From watching the comedy bits I definitely wasn't expecting to see a whole movie, but I couldn't be more satisfied that this video exists.

I find it interesting how well you portray how suffering is overdetermined: One thing doesn't make us suffer, a lot things together does.

There’s no way you didn’t just actually fall in love with the Spanish woman irl. That connection seemed so genuine

This is the best advertisement for a Marvel movie i've ever seen. I'm buying ant man asap

Also: the women who were in this were either a) fantastic actors or b) willing to put themselves in an emotionally vulnerable place for a guy's film about his own loneliness, either way they should be applauded

No filmmaker ever made me want to make films as much as Joel does, this is a masterpiece man. Everything he does is awesome.

Jesus. This is so damn vulnerable and honest. It's ironic that Hollywood films are so sterile and impersonal that they can show such high stakes stories and it doesn't phase me emotionally, but just an awkward pause in this has me on the edge of my seat or legitimately uncomfortable. I think the future of honest, human art is going to be online and fragmented. Thankful to live in a time where anyone can make and share a film. Thanks Joel for putting yourself out there. I'm inspired to finish my silly youtube projects now.

Dude, you took your heart cut it open and wrapped it around this whole thing. This whole thing bleeds emotion, you poured yourself into this and I can't hold more respect for you.

I lost my dad when I was 18 before high school graduation. I'm 25 now and I haven't been able to cry for a long time now but the part where you're making your speech about the coke and the cloths made me cry. Thanks man it's nice to feel something

I know you probably won't read this. But this movie made me feel more than any movie I have ever watched. Thank you for sharing it.

FUCK, I just realized that "Pretend That You Love Me" is a paraphrase of what you told the actresses before filming. So many layers Joel.

You lured me in with Marshall, The Town Rat, and sucker-punched me with this.
In all seriousness, this was beautiful, man. Movies are always about the boisterous, amplified portions of love stories or life journeys; portrayed as every day needing to be a new chapter when really life is more of an epic. Not enough attention is paid to the small, quiet moments that set the foundation for the actual substance of any type of relationship. Thanks for doing that.

I am completely and utterly floored by this film. I doubt that Joel will ever see this comment (what with the count being up to 5k as I'm typing this), but one can still hope he does.
Given the bits and pieces I've gleaned from various videos, I'm guessing Joel was 23 to 24 when he made this. With that in mind, it is an exceptionally sophisticated and shockingly well-executed piece. I'm aware of his dedication to the democratizing power of contemporary technology for shooting, editing, and distributing films, and the way he implores others to just do it. I had no idea, however, that among his numerous terrific and inspired collaborative sketches resided work of this poignance and profundity.
Films about themselves are a tricky needle to thread and can so easily be a pretentious slog. Fellini nailed it 60 years ago and countless directors have fallen on their faces attempting similar feats since. I was very conscious early on that I was being reminded I was watching a film, but the piece does this -- with visible microphone packs and cutaways to webcam quality images and a great many carefully composed and stylized shots -- while sharing some of the most breathtakingly intimate moments that will ever occur in its director's life.
When the musical number came in, I cried for the first time. Partially because it hits as a sincerely plaintive wail as the film flips from its ostensibly "naturalistic"/"voyeuristic" perspective to an inescapably cinematic one. In this moment where it brazenly announces that it's a film, beyond any dispute, it also delivers its first of many moments of nearly unbearably raw and real emotion. It takes a deft directorial touch to pull off that sort of thing and Joel definitely makes it look deceptively easy. And this he does while starring in the damned thing and acting his ass off.
As a lifelong New Yorker I'll forever have a soft-spot for (good) films made here and he used his locations beautifully. His shot composition can be so evocative and moving, leaving you forgetting at times that you're watching a zero budget, effectively point and shoot film primarily featuring a series of static shots. Again, in the wrong hands this would be interminable, but here it's more frequently than not simply beautiful.
I'm in my early-50s now and just lost my old man back in August of '21, but I lost my mother when I was 23, which I believe is how old Joel was when he lost his father. Our relationship was a bit different, but incredibly close. She also died after a long battle with cancer.
She died during a time in my life of rather pronounced highs and lows -- perhaps the most extreme in this regard of any period before or since -- and through it all I remained lost and lonely and desperately searching, throwing myself into art (my band had just signed a sizable contract with a major label), and some other less constructive activities and distractions. Thing is, it is only with the benefit and wisdom of hindsight that I can recognize what I went through then. This makes the clarity with which Joel expresses his longing, confusion, loneliness, and loss here all the more astounding to me. This is truly a work so wise beyond its creator's years that even he may only realize to what degree in the decades to come.
Okay - This isn't frigging Letterboxd, so I really should just shut up.
I love that this thing could easily have done the festival circuit, or whatever, but by putting it here it has reached a far greater audience -- both in size and sympathy -- than it likely ever could have done via that route.
In so many ways this film makes Joel's whole approach to filmmaking not merely inspiring in spirit, but in execution. I can see in the comments he's left here that he is proud of this, as he damned well should be.

Hey, Joel.
I’m commenting because your film did a lot for me, and I want to offer something in return.
I commented earlier today, but I have something to add (and I don’t think you’d see it in a reply).
Your work so moved me that I wrote this poem in response:
-
I sleep with apparitions
While a torrent brews above me.
Please,
Lie under the cover
That you love me.
-
Also, if you haven’t already, I have to encourage you to listen through Chopin’s Nocturnes (especially op 48 no 1 and op posth no 20, but really all of them). I feel like they tell complementary stories to this one, and I believe 2019-2020 Joel might have needed them.
With much love,
Sam.

This is the type of film I absolutely avoid watching. It's simply too personal, hits too close to home and actually makes you reflect. This is why I avoid these. That was amazing. I wasn't going to sit here and watch the whole thing, but here I am. Awesome work.

The line between media and life is so blurred here. This is really boundary-pushing in that regard. A lot of people say that modern technology does more to isolate people than connect them, and sometimes that's true. But you've used it to open a window into your life and your feelings and thousands people of people found their reflection in that window. Because like, it's not the cleaned-up and larger-than-life thing we're used to with most movies, just real and true. Lol, there's a cheesy analogy. Art is like a window, if it's not too clean it's also a mirror!

My favorite thing you did right that movies don't... people take their shoes off when they're sitting on a bed.

God I'm glad I dug more into your channel, first it was "Adventure awaits, hazaa!" and now I'm helplessly binging everything that has your name on it, especially your films. I've never met a character quite like you Joel, truly inspirational. Much love.

This movie felt so real that I found myself questioning multiple times whether or not a scene was real or scripted. The scenes with your dad put a knot in my throat and all the awkward and silent scenes made me feel anxious. The final scene literally brought me to tears. There is so much heart and soul in this movie and it was an amazing contrast to your silly short skits.

Came back to watch this one after drowning in potential. honestly kicking myself for skipping these for so long because in my mind I subbed to Joel for funny wee short films to watch as I ate lunch and I didn't want to commit to a feature length version of that. But these are something else entirely, honestly just incredible, just like the rawest films I've seen and so fucking refreshing. Joel keep killing it with these man, I swear I'm going to make each new one you put out an event going forward. Maybe rope some of my film school buds into watching it with me. Just amazing.

When Joel screamed "I need something that feels like love in my life" I balled like a baby. This hit so damn hard. You can TELL he has truly been through pain, and it really feels like he means it. So damn relatable, and made me want more from my life. Kinda therapeutic, and makes me want to move on and maybe be open to women again? Has me in a wierd place anyways

This is three years old and I just found it. It came to me during a really hard part of my life (now) and I felt a connection to this film deeply. I suffer with feelings of loneliness. I just got broken up with and ghosted by a long distance partner due to mental health/depression and the world has never felt so vast or lonely. I’m not sure I could ever truly love someone again, but I still want to be held, or hugged. The vulnerability in this film is incredible, and I cried at the end, safe to say. I gotta spend more time with my dad. Thanks Joel ❤️🫂

The last scene would break me too. "I'm paying for something I deeply desire. This woman is here to fulfill the role I have asked her to play, and she is doing it perfectly. Yet all of this is a lie of my own creation. The best she can do is to continue in the act, yet with every word she says, she drives me further into despair, as I believe her performance."
"What do you need to feel good?" I need what you are pretending to be. The kiss was dreadfully, but beautifully painful. Of course we desire that physical intimacy, but the pain of knowing it means absolutely nothing once she leaves is abysmal.
"At least you have a sense of humor." "You can't lose that, can you?"
Pretend that you love me, until I forget we're pretending. That realization of waking back up is the pain.

On a simple note its refreshing to see a film that just shows how normal people talk and go on dates irl. I never know what to say, what ive seen in typical movies and shows isnt real and this feels like a real standard I can think about

I’m probably an artistic person before I’m anything else, but the one genre of art that never quite did it for me was movies.
In this hour and a half, you permanently changed that.
I hope you’re well, Joel.

that scene around 26 minutes just made me feel a lot of emotions. this is such a special film.

“Have you... ever been dreadfully lonely?”
This is art. You’re going to go far man. Your talent is unprecedented and is going to set the bar for not just KRplus but for indie filmmaking in general.
I only recently discovered this channel and have loved every bit of it. From the comedic skits that have that Cherdley’s kinda feel with all of the awkwardness of real life scenarios but without the extra ham, to the more bizarre Adult Swim/ Tim&Eric type skits and animations, to this film right here that would no doubt win awards at indie-film festivals but without the pretentiousness. You execute perfectly your unique style of blending quality filmmaking with truly relatable scenarios. What blurs the lines of what’s real, improved, or scripted, is that you always manage to capture how people really interact and that raw emotion behind it.
This film here proves your genius and is cathartic to anyone who’s ever felt that loneliness. Especially to those of us known as the, “funny guy” of the group where we hide what we’re really feeling behind smiles and deflect with humor. And like a true creative, you turned that visceral feeling into a work of art that captures the reality of it.
You’re a master at your craft, like some sort of wizard-chef who can make his work both raw and well-done. Raw emotion and comedy that lets us, the viewer, see a bit of ourselves in that we can laugh and/or empathize with from the mundane social faux pas we commit to the more absurd. And it’s so well executed that it wraps everything together professionally while still magically maintaining that indie charm.
Kudos to you Joel Haver! You are excellent at creating realist/surrealist work and blending the two so well without it feeling off-beat. Creating work that you enjoy making will take you far and we all look forward to watching your talent develop even more and unfold!

I like this.
I feel lonely and I’m scared that everyone I love will die one day. I have autism and I don’t how to talk to people. I’m scared. I cried watching this. I’m going to miss my parents when they pass. You made a good film.

Makes me wonder how much of this was just footage taken from Joel's real life. It blends fiction and reality so seamlessly.

Hey Joel, just wanted to tell you that the scenes with your father before his passing really touched me. I’m about your age and lost my father unexpectedly in October. Those little moments joking around with him and just enjoying each other’s stupid humor are part of what I miss most. Hope you and your family are coping as best you can, time heals all! Keep up the great work

By not succumbing to the Hollywood studio system, or any traditional film making system, Joel Haver has given himself the freedom to make every single film of his feel personal and authentic. His acting is so real because he is directing himself and because he often records actual interactions and/or improvisation. His stories are so real because he has complete creative control, aside from the help of a few very trusted friends. In real life he is one of the most kind and relatable people I know and his films reflect that. When he describes this film as a catharsis he is not kidding. All of his films are deeply personal and unique and beautiful, and always leave me in awe at the end thinking, “how is someone able to make films that speak to me so much?” And then I remember that I am human and he is human, and that unfiltered, uncontrolled art is human art. That “normal” films are alien by comparison. That if all films were made closer to the way Joel’s are made, we might all realize that we feel the same things more than we thought. This film is his best film yet and that’s saying a lot because his other films are so important too. Please watch the entire thing, as it goes through a lot of different emotions and will possibly surprise you. I love this movie and am grateful to know Joel. Thank you.

Was watching “when someone shows you a video on their phone” and then it auto played into this, and I watched the entire thing on my phone. It’s incredible

hey joel. i found this film shortly after its release a couple years ago i think. i honestly can’t remember. it was so beautiful. the parts with your father were so brave and vulnerable. they made me so sad but so grateful as i still had my father at the time. my father passed last night. i am so unbelievably torn. i related so much to you and the way you describe your dad, goofy, all over the place, and the funniest person i ever knew. im so fucking sad. im so lost. i am so hurt. thank you for making this joel.

This is the most brilliant final frame I've seen in a movie. That last scene was so well done that I forgot this was a movie, and then the rug got pulled out from under me... again.

if this was scripted, HOLY SHIT. if this was improvised, HOLY SHIT. i was expecting a punchline but all i got was a gut punch. you're easily one of my favorite artists/creators here and elsewhere, joel.

I love the way this unfurled throughout, with me questioning if this was real or a movie at the beginning, then it seems to pull back the curtains and be behind the scenes and shows these deeply emotional personal moments, and puts me in the same position again of wondering if this is even real. It made me cry anyway. Then the creepy undertones with the editing behind the scenes and the cloying bringing the actresses back but keeping things in shot which make it seem like this time it really is unscripted because you can see the facade with the lighting props. The musical bit in the middle was so unexpected too, felt almost like a palette cleanser from the line blurring real / film scenes at the beginning. It felt so human though, all of it, props to you and the girls in this, masterfully crafted piece of art.

Just wanted to briefly comment since I actually don't see many comments directly referencing it, but wow the moment around 52:00 into the song and then behind the scenes was so well done. Everything up to that point was so straightforward and filmed a certain way it was jarring in such a good way to suddenly have the confessional and emotional singing break through the wall and feel like it paused time. Just everything about those few minutes I love rewatching so much.

i have typed and retyped this over and over because of how many words and ideas have bubbled up from me. cliche saying but very thought provoking, and i see so much of myself it hurts a little. hyperrealism, the obsessive pang for closeness, the guilty pleasure of indulging the lie, the quantum superposition of the legitimacy of that kiss, and unworthiness. the unworthiness is not said or even eluded to, but there was this vibe of like, "i hate myself. i am so terrible the only way i can get someone in my life is to pay them to play a role." could be me reading into it, aforementioned holding a mirror up to the viewer.
bravo, really hope things are better for you now. ❤

Frankly, I don't really leave comments anywhere. That said, I don't really find myself feeling real emotional connections to films.
But, holy fuck. This deserves more attention, more analysis, more support, more views, more everything because I legitimately cried my eyes out.
Joel, you really have made one of the most hauntingly relatable pieces of media. Thank you.

Brother, this made me feel things.

Halfway through my rewatch and I noticed that the warm scenes of relationships have blue as the prominent color while the cold scenes of loneliness mainly have colors like orange. Not really sure if this was intentional or not (because it’s not super consistent) but swapping warm and cool colors creates a really neat effect.

Just a friendly reminder that hydrating is important.

The way you genuinely blur the lines of what’s acting and what’s real had me so...confused? I wanted to figure it out, but I got to a point about 30 minutes after watching the whole thing, when I was trying to explain to someone why this affected me, where I realized that it didn’t really matter what was real or not because what was depicted was true
To be honest I couldn’t help but cry during and afterwards
I don’t know what else to say but I hope you continue to make films. I have not been moved by something in a very long time the way this did and I will carry this piece of art with me now in my heart

Art

Loneliness and the need to be loved. This is such a tragic story of those things, and I relate to it too hard. It’s real, and unfiltered, this is how people talk and flirt and connect. It’s so hard to watch at times because I know it’s how I act, it’s so shameful but real, and totally endearing. Despite Joel playing himself, I can’t tell if this is a character or the real man, I’m guessing Joel of this movie is both. I can’t tell if Pretend that you Love me is a tragedy or a comedy (in the strict Greek theatre way of meaning it has a good ending), the ending itself shows Joel breaking down and opening up to a woman he barely knows. And even though there’s no relationship there, how can she make Joel feel better about himself? Pretend that you Love me.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a film made me emote so many different feelings. From the cinematography, locations, acting, and sincere authenticity. This is simply something different and I applaud you. Please keep doing whatever you’re doing and we are all waiting for more of you. I know there’s a lot of truth in this film, it feels too real to be faked. Thank you for sharing this 🙏

"He assumed this was more than it was" like my god. This movie is like a real life version of Perfect Blue. Halfway through the movie my perception of the premise was completely shattered. It feels like I was right there with you having no clue what was real and what wasnt. KRplus autoplayed this while I was eating a sandwich and I stayed up just to watch the whole thing.
How did I get here from a rat with a gun

Thank you Joel.
“Some people can read War and Peace, and come away thinking it’s a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.”
-Lex Luthor
The human condition is real. Hope you’re doing ok Joel.

Holy shit, Joel. I haven't even finished this yet. But something just happened to me that's never happened to me. The instant you said, "thank you for the shirts, I have them all now." I felt a lightning bolt of sadness hit me and I started crying. From fine, to pausing the movie to cry with one line. Thank you so much for making and sharing this. I don't know what this means - what I just felt - but I'm sure it's important. I'm gonna go call my Dad.

Joel, this is incredible. Sincerely incredible. Honestly the best watching experience I’ve had in a long time. I’m a visual artist, and have always been enamored by work that portrayed this unique intimacy that I find difficult to portray in other mediums like film, since I’m always acutely aware of the fact that its scripted. But this, wow. Captured vulnerability, intimacy, pain, fear, loss, etc etc masterfully. I honestly cried a ton. You are truly a rare talent, and although I don’t know you beyond watching your content for quite a while, I am truly proud of you for all your work. Thank you for making this, and making it accessible online

That gems like this just linger on KRplus, waiting to be discovered by people who choose to stay in bed and watch KRplus videos all day because they struggle to find a purpose in life is almost as ironic as it is poetic. This is an amazing piece of art, Joel. I hope you are doing better now. I hope everyone who watched this is doing better now.

This guy is sooo fucking underrated...

I just finished watching this. My soul was touched, my heart was trashed, and I am simply stunned. A lot could be said about the authenticity and artistry overflowing this film, but all I'm going to say is, I love you. Thank you for sharing your creations. I dearly hope you are able to feel proud of them.

This is one of the most beautiful and moving films I have ever seen. It may even be better than Forrest Gump. And that's saying something.

It’s so slightly awkward but not enough to make you feel cringe almost like it hits somewhere else

Fuck man... I’m kinda just speechless after watching this. I feel dirty or guilty watching this, like I’m privy to conversations and events that I shouldn’t be, an intruder in truly personal moments. That being said I couldn’t stop watching. This is honestly one of the best movies I’ve watched in such a long time, mainly because of how small and personal it is. Every thing else is just too big to care about, the stakes are always so high that it’s impossible to form any kind of attachment too. But with how relatable the struggle to open up and connect with someone is, how health issues make you so vulnerable, and how painful losing a parent is and it changing how you see everything, this movie is the exact opposite. You can actually connect to your struggle, not only by seeing my own personal struggles reflected, but by seeing you as an independent entity actually struggling. it’s impossible to not feel every moment of the film. Thanks for sharing this

Found myself wishing the fake stuff was real, and the real stuff was fake. Thank you for sharing this! 💖

I'm not an emotional person, but this is the first time I've cried while watching a film in many years. I think the fear of being alone is such a universal thing that, even of you aren't alone, it still feels like it's just moments away from happening.

That was something. I'm no film expert but it seemed very original and genuine. If anything it reminded me of Nathan Fielders "Finding Frances" where the lines between script and reality become blurred and the facade of the socially awkward comedian is taken beyond a joke.
It was really touching and left me wondering how much of it is real...

As someone's who's terrified of dates because of the idea of fucking up, the awkwardness in this movie is so human that it actually shows me how natural things can be when you just go out there and be yourself
Edit: After watching the entire movie, nothing has resonated through me so much before... I could empathize with the loneliness and there was so much said without having to be said
Thanks for this Joel, I know it must have been rough. It's difficult to find an answer for these things...

It hit me so hard when you cut to the open casket. Like, "No! He was alive just a second ago!" Thank you for this extremely cathartic film, Joel. I'm glad you're still enjoying making movies/art/things :)

Hey, I watched this 2 years ago, forgot to let ya know. Your film was fantastic and the full feature length movies rock, thanks for you doing you.

Dude, your interactions in this movie is a masterclass in how REAL humans talk, big props

I felt such a connection with the tone of the film that I almost felt like I was a character while watching it. The scenes were so realistic that I almost thought some of them were real reactions that actors were responding to unaware of the context. My natural inclination was to shy away from the specific feelings this evokes, recognizing them is terrifying. Revelatory job, thank you for this.

This was such an amazing movie that blurred the line between acting and reality that I was completely unable to differentiate what was and wasn't scripted while also depicting some deeply emotional concepts. Thank you for this beautiful movie!

Just smoked a bowl and watched some of your skits and decided to check out your channel, I clicked on this knowing nothing and I am in shock. This is beautiful, it’s touching, it’s new yet old, it’s realistic, it’s real. I cried, I laughed, I really felt for your character. There were times where I couldn’t tell if this was scripted or not and I just, gosh this is amazing, thank you

I feel like this is the type of movie Abed from Community would have made after getting his film degree.

This hit a weird place to watch as someone who's socially awkward/ introverted. The interactions feel so much in the same vain of ones I've had myself. I kind of hate it because of how much it feels like what could be my life

a special film that they should add to that archive in space of what humans made

Joel I've seen you float around the internet for quite a while now just at the corner of my eyes like just existing ready to be discovered, and I am thankful that today is the day I got to see your art which is I feel like the start of a new beginning in my long ass artist journey and you are definitely going to be a major part of it. Thank you for making this and everything that you've made or are going to make. I wish you the best and hope to make something that you'd like to watch in the future. Thank you joel

shout out to all the peeps who feels like they don‘t belong in this world

I feel like I just got a secret glimpse into someone's life and saw things they never meant for anyone to see. I feel like I intruded and it's such an intense and visceral feeling... I'm at once uncomfortable and fascinated in ways I can't describe. I've never had a film do this to me, especially not to this extreme. Joel, you are a genius and I honestly aspire to have the kind of creativity, insight, and emotional capacity that you do

the line that this film walks between documentary and cinema is like nothing i've ever seen before

i dont really know what to even comment, but this really made me feel a lot of things, and this felt extremely real and honest. amazing work Joel

I saw an animated skit randomly yesterday. Today I started exploring the rest of your channel. I found this. I think somehow, I needed to find this. I've been so completely, cripplingly alone since October of 2019, when my fiance left me one month from being married. Then Covid hit. I have felt so isolated, and for lack of a better way to put this, fucking done with life. I've been unable to cry for months. This opened the floodgates. Thank you. Thank you for this so very much.

I aspire to be able to have the courage to show so rawly such deep personal struggles for the public to see. This felt as if I was voyeuristically watching your life while also empathetically relating to the very same struggles I've dealt with in my life. You're a man of talent Joel. I hope you never stop creating ♥️

Hey Joel, I don’t know if you’ll ever read this but this is an absolutely beautiful film. I’ve watched it quite a few times since it came out and I cry every time. I can really relate to the inner sadness that you portray and that sucks in a wonderful way. I hope you’re doing okay, and thank you for this film.

It’s so hard to tell if this a movie or a documentary. I think what I love most about your work is that blur. It’s so honest. Thank you

Man, this movie made me feels things I forgotten existed in me.

Hey Joel, this film is ehhh OK but it could use some work, there's two things in particular you messed up on.
1. I can't watch it again for the first time
2. I can't remember it after I'm dead
If you could fix that in your next film that would be great thanks in advance

wow, what an interesting movie. Need some time to think about it. The other day one of my good friends and I were talking about how your channel feels like a constant pursuit of art. I can confidently say no one has ever made something that feels quite like this. I've been following your channel for awhile and started watching this awhile back in the middle of the pandemic but I'm glad I took the time to watch through this entire movie. Truly a unique piece of art that deserves to be consumed and talked about.
We met a week or two back briefly, and I'm considering trying to make a video essay about this movie. Once the idea is actually more developed/put together I'd love to potentially talk to you about this film. Independent of whether or not you're interested I want you to know I really was blown away

To be this vulnerable takes a lot courage, and for it to come together to feel so genuine is a credit to your voice as a writer. Thanks especially for sharing the moments with your father, in a way it feels generous that we get to see them.
I feel like loneliness can be magnified on the internet and through a lot of your work, this film especially, you've given people a chance to find someone they can relate to.
Thank you.

The last ten minutes of this film was agonizing. Everything was building up to a point that I felt like it was just screaming at me personally. I hate the fact that I think I can feel the exact emotions you're trying to convey. Some of those exact words ringing in my ear. I hate that I know that feeling. I hate knowing that you're trying to convey that exact headspace. Yet I can't help but love this film so, so much.

There is this thing about youtube films made by independent creators that can only be achieved here and can never be achieved in the “cinema”.
And that is the amazing feature of blurring the lines between reality and fiction, I cannot for the life of me distinguish between the two in this particular film. For all I know everything here is true and this is a real autobiography.
What an amazing thing you’ve created here.
You have real talent, and forget about those people saying you should only make these, btw hilarious and genius, animations because you would just be limiting yourself into expressing only a fraction of the emotional capacity you have.
Bravo Joel Havel.

this was so incredible. it all felt so real and i couldn’t tell what was scripted and what wasn’t. it really captured the feeling of loneliness and just doing whatever you can to feel loved, even if it’s just pretend.

i dont know how i got to this video, i dont remember clicking on it but when i turned on my computer this morning it was there
im so glad i decided to see what i mustve accidentally clicked on last night and watch it through because this is a masterpiece, great job man

This film hit hard, getting into your 20s and not having meaningful connections outside your close family members is hard
Thanks Joel for making this.

I think youtube is buggy, beacause this NEEDS to be recommended to every one! Such good movie with under 800 views!

“you know that.. i said that i was single.. because of the movie.”
ouch my man. that whole conversation was rough
love the concept, especially when he makes it seem that he’s scheduling acting “dates” just for the companionship. it seems like joel as an actor has at least some natural charisma so i don’t think he’ll be out for love for long! proud of myself for guessing what the setting shift would be before it happened.
the last girl is an angel. she was so compassionate, nice, and caring. all the women here should be praised.
this is like what if sherman’s march (1985) was not self-indulgent and actually good. really enjoyed what joel did, regardless of what actually was composed or not, it works. and it works well. maybe one of the best films of the decade.

I watched this on the day of my grandfather's funeral and my girlfriend and I were having some troubles so I was at the loneliest I had felt in a long time. This was a bit too real, but it was beautiful. Thank you, Joel.