I spent a day with MORTICIANS
์์ค ์ฝ๋
- ๊ฒ์์ผ 2024. 04. 27.
- I spent a day with Morticians to learn the truth about preparing the deceased and the importance of connecting to mortality. Sponsors โธThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to betterhelp.com/padilla to get 10% off your first month. โธ Go to joinhoney.com/padilla
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๐THE PODCAST (UNCENSORED)
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๐งจHUGE thank you to Breyonce:
INSTAGRAM: iBreyonce
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๐งจHUGE thank you to Victor:
INSTAGRAM: victor.m.sweene...
WIRED VID: โข Mortician Answers Dead...
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๐ฅCrew
โธ Creator, Director, Writer, etc. - Anthony Padilla
โธ Executive Producer - Alessandra Catanese
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โธ Director of Photography/Gaffer - Kathy Sue Holtorf
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0:00 INTRODUCTION
4:19 AVERAGE DAY AS A MORTICIAN
7:44 MORTICIAN TOOLS
9:36 TYPES OF EMBALMING
13:08 IMPORTANCE OF EMBALMING
16:34 DEALING WITH THE EMOTIONS
18:22 SPONSOR MESSAGE
20:42 BECOMING A MORTICIAN
25:33 MORTUARY SCHOOL
26:19 SCARED OF DEATH?
28:22 A MORTICIAN'S IMPACT
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come back in a couple weeks for *I spent a day with CONTORTIONISTS*
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lit
WHOOOO
Papi
Dad
You should do one on Animal control officers! I feel like with media thereโs so many misconceptions about them and they have a very interesting job
Their appearances: ๐ช๐ค๐๐น๐ธ
Their personalities: ๐โจ ๐ผ๐ค๐
thas what goth is
Yep, that is basically me and everyone I've worked with in a nutshell. ๐คฃ
You explained me to a t ๐
As a mortician, this is literally how all of us are like๐
this is so cringe
Victor M. Sweeney is the most mortician name to ever exist. Itโs like Tim Burton himself wrote it.
Literally, victor from corpse bride and sweeny todd, thatโs the most tim burton name ever
Thats because victor is an actual Tim burton character, but he makes a lot of similar looking characters so its perfect lol
He looks and sounds like a mortician too.
Except Sweeney Todd isn't written by Burton. ๐ Its by Christopher Bond and later adapted by Stephen Sondheim into a musical.
@@ihaveaplan.ijustneedmoney.9777 Whoโs Sweeney Todd-
I canโt get over how much Victor Looks like a morticianโฆ from like the 50s. Can someone look like a mortician? Well, Victor does. Itโs a vibe and Iโm here for it.
He looks, sounds, acts, and EVEN HAS A MORTICIAN NAME-
Victor M. Sweeney, itโs so crazy
I know hes too old for me. And hes married with kids. But he is absolutely adorable, im kinda fangirling about it ๐
@@picachugirl2036 VICTOR FAN CLUBB
That's what I was thinking, like he LOOKS like a mortician, he would even if he wasn't one. The lady doesn't look like one, but it's fascinating that she is one because she doesn't look like one. Ya get me
heโs hot.
The way Victor said โGive me the rest of the day, how did it go?โ and leaned forward he is so compassionate and such a great listener! Beyonce is a queen she is so gentle.
โคโค
as soon as i read this victor said that!!
Everything about Victor is professional and likeable, but that moment is where he shows that he's also just really, really good at what he does. He's found his calling for sure.
I love how Victor was in so many interviews he's actually beloved
I saw Victor interview on Wired and oh my goodness he is such a delight!
SAMEE
I saw him in the Wired interviews, he's such a gentleman
Rightโฝ he's a mortician that I actually recognize which is crazy
I saw him on the thumbnail and thought I gotta watch this
My brother passed away by a car accident earlier this year. The mortician tried their best to make him presentable so we could see him, but they ultimately recommended we not see him. It was heartbreaking, but the mortician was so kind and compassionate.
I felt the same about my sister who was in a car accident, it still haunts me. It has only been 7 months so hopefully, the imagine goes away. My heart goes out to you!!
Iโm so sorry for your loss. ๐
I lost my cousin in a car crash 2016, my father had to identify her body and still to this day was happy he didn't let anyone else see her beside her parents ofc. I remember being so mad and not understanding cause I was only 13, but now my last memories of her are happy ones and that's what my father wanted. I am sorry for your loss, however definitely think of those memories of him, even the petty fights.
I am so sorry for your loss,i hope they all are in a better place seeing you all do good in ur life
@@Grace-mh6dm I think thatโs exactly what the mortician was thinking for us. He didnโt want the last image of my brother to be traumatic. He gave us the option to see him but was very cautionary about his condition. My brother lost control and crashed hard into a lake. He was submerged for several days before somebody found him. Not only was he in bad physical shape, he wasnโt even the same color. Luckily nobody needed to identify the body because he had identification on him. Even knowing what condition he was in is enough to have dark thoughts.
Breyonce is not someone you would ever take for being a mortician but once she starts speaking of it she sounds like the most gentle mortician honestly.
I liked her cheerful personality. Sheโs a rockstar
โ@@HungVu-vs3dvIn my personal experience, people that work in the death industry are usually very hilarious people but also very gentle and empathetic people as well.
@@Mia-vj5lo these interviews really open up my eyes. I respected for all morticians; they did wonderful work. While Hollywood portrayed these people are evil
@@HungVu-vs3dv It's a very necessary industry, it definitely deserves more respect than it gets.
I would trust her with my family. She was wonderful.
I teared up when Breyonce said that she referred to her people as though they were still alive. Something about the idea of, despite death, we still carry the things that make us who we are, is so touching and comforting to me. I lost a very close relative to a long disease not too long ago, and this set something in me at ease. Thank you.
I completely understand and I appreciated that too. When my dad died 5 years ago, the funeral home kept calling him โthe body and that made me sick and angry to my core.โ
i completely agree. we had to put my dog down today and the vets, as they were picking her up and taking her away, were still cooing at her and telling her she was a good girl. it was the sweetest thing :,)
We do the same thing at my funeral home, too. Theyโre no longer living, but theyโre still people and deserve the same respect โค
โ@@tahjricramberan9656I also wanna comment on the difference between people like that and Victor. When talking about the person themselves vs the conditions of their actual bodies. They're more than just bodies and he respects all parts of it.
This is why I have so much respect for morticians like her. Beautiful within the heart is the best part of a person.
If Victor isn't my mortician I'm not dying. I really like what he said about emotional attachment. "The ones who are detached from the emotional side of it are not good at their job. You have to be connected to humanity to serve humanity." it reminds me of a quote from Law and Order Special Victims Unit "don't worry when you feel something...worry when you stop." Emotions sucks, but they're part of humanity. If you lack that part....it's time to be concerned. And when it comes to fear of death, for me personally, I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of what's after. Like the fear of the unknown. Dying is easy. No need to be scared of that. But what comes next? Hmm.
After is haven or hell
I think the afterlife is whatever you believe/want. I donโt think thereโs just โheaven and hellโ i believe everyone has a choice of what they want
I am afraid of ceasing to exist but I am not religious. I like to believe in the paranormal and existing as energy but still conscious but also having the choice to reincarnate and try life again OR stay energy in the vase universe/dimension.
Here is how I look at it. Am I currently able to remember or acknowledge my existence before I was born? No.
So, if there is no afterlife/nothing after. I will not be scared, anxious, or worried about not existing because there will be nothing. No thoughts. No Me. Just like it was before I was born. And if there is something after, Fun! We get to experience that. We may not be exactly who we are in this life but our souls/our essence will live on in a different form.
"The law of conservation of energy is a physical law that states energy cannot be created or destroyed but may be changed from one form to another. " We are engery.
That helps me. Hopefully it helps someone else!
@Patrick39 lmfao u just don't give up bro
"Dying is easy" is just wrong and ignorant
Breyonce deserves more love in the comments! She seems like such a genuine, kind and caring person.
She does! I was thinking this too
Frrr!! What an underhyped queen๐ฅน
I so appreciate the love I am receiving from ppl like yall tho ๐ฅน๐๐๐๐
agreed!! I think itโs because heโs a little more well known but she was great to listen to!
Yes! Sheโs amazing โค
I love how the two people Anthony got for the interview are someone who is basically a stereotype of a mortician from a movie (god that jawline and style!) and then someone who I would never expect to be one on the first glance. Really shows the range of people working in this curious profession!
Victor's jawline is making my back arch Fr๐คญ๐ฉ
@@AtrenchcoatfullofWASPS LMAOO
@@roxier.138 Can you blame me though ๐ญ
@@roxier.138 it was purring,my guy
@@AtrenchcoatfullofWASPSWHAAAAAT
When my boyfriend shot himself and died, I was amazed at how well they put his face back together. Thank you for the work you do, you made the last image I had of him not the fragments of his skull and teeth but his original vessel. His soul was gone, but at least I could say good bye to him without being traumatized.
I'm so so sorry that happened to you. Rest in peace to your boyfriend and I hope some day you find peace.
At my embalming clinical this semester I was touched by the sign hanging above the door in the office, "We are doing what others can't, as well as don't want to have to do" I have that morbid curiosity like Breyonce appears to have. I feel that my willingness to see the ugliness that death can have makes me, someone who has no emotionally laden ties to the deceased in that moment, can provide someone who is experiencing grief with a dignifying and restful body image of their loved one. There actually are some embalmers who have chosen to embalm and prepare their own loved ones, but I highly doubt I could do so for my own close loved ones, I'd be too grief-stricken. I also think that it's helped me to slowly come to terms with own mortality. I've decided that making quality memories and finding/maintaining your happiness is most important in life and just holding on to the roller-coaster as it goes along. "Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are too busy in the air...." โค
@OT7STAN
I can't possibly imagine the pain you must be feeling. I've always told myself that losing a significant other to death would be enough to break me mentally. It gave me some hope to learn that aftercare is a very seldom mentioned aspect of funeral service. Each funeral home differs, but they should offer various services dedicated to checking in on you, providing you with memorial service options for later dates, support groups, reading materials about grief, and contact info for mental health services .
What really set me at ease was that in mental healthcare there is normal grief counseling and then theres grief therapy for those of us experiencing grief thats quite complicated. Reach out to your resources to find yourself that very therapy if you feel the need. Its there for you.
A horrible trauma, but they gave his loved ones a gift by making him whole one last time.
Same here. My boyfriend died last year from suicide, and you couldn't even tell. I was grateful I could say goodbye. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I saw Victor's Wired interviews, Mortician Support. He's got quite the sense of humor and humble attitude. He explained his job in a way that is not morbid like you would think.
Exactly!
absolutely, I loved his video and the way he presents himself and his service
Gave you the thousandth like I couldnt let it stay at 999
That's were i know him from too! Those vids were informative but he also had an amazing if dark sense of humor to him
If you like those videos, I HIGHLY recommend you check out Ask A Mortician - Caitlin is phenomenal.
It's fascinating to see their approaches to death and life, from Victor's deep respect for the dead to Breyonce's energy to live every moment.
Thanks for the comments โญ
Wow ๐ you have just been selected among the list of my my winners of my giveaway ๐๐๐๏ธ
Let's chat on telegram โ๏ธโ๏ธ
I have commented to show my agreement
the way breyonce highlights still referring to deceased people as โmissโ and โmisterโ made me feel so warm. my grandma just recently passed and i love to imagine the morticians that worked with her still giving her that humility ๐
I absolutely loved the guests. Breyonce is awesome, she has such a gentle soul and it shows she cares for her job. Victor is so calming and makes death so natural and not scary. They both make it so vulnerable and humanizing and it's beautiful
My grandma had dementia. In her last few years, I couldn't even stand to look at pictures of her. She wasn't her anymore, didn't know who I was, and her whole FACE was different. When I got to see her at the viewing, I was so thankful and overwhelmed, she looked like her again. I got to say my thank yous and goodbyes, knowing she could hear me for the first time in years. So much respect for morticians.
Ya because they shoved chemicals in her and pin there eyelids shut and brutalize there body and in 10 years she will look like grandma jerky instead of just rotting into the earth like we are supposed to
it really is difficult, i lost my grandfather last year and it does get hard looking at pictures, the last time i saw him whilst he was alive he looked too different but the viewing was amazing he looked like himself just a bit off.
People just think of morticians as just people that doll up dead people to look nice but really itโs about making the loved ones look like themselves again so they give a proper goodbye to their family.
I had a similar thing with my grandfather. One of the most difficult things being forgotten by a person that raised you. You have my condolences.
I actually had a kind of opposite experience with my grandma because she was an absolute beauty in life, but her morticians did a terrible job... strangely I think it made it easier to say goodbye because it so clearly was not her anymore. She was shining down on us from somewhere else with her hair and nails done up perfectly ๐
Breyonce deserves more love in the comments. Her compassion and gentleness when she speaks about the dead is so appreciated and inspiring!
I'm leaving this interview considering this line of work
shut up
@@KuniKarin01 no u
its not beyonce
@@zlydell3820 breyonce not beyonce
I fuckin love these peopleโsโ personalities. When he said โreally? Give me the rest of the day, how did it goโ you could tell hes engaged and thinking. Awesome people
My dad was a mortician and I wanted to do that so bad, but schooling is so difficult to find and afford. He passed away and left me with all his personal stuff, including general notes he took and his mortorary coat. I hold a high level of respect for those in the foeld, because like my dad said: They are helping those who can no longer help themselves.
Three things I feel I need to share without delving too deep:
1) Anthony's curls are looking especially divine, and his chicken in boiling water comment made me laugh
2) Victor is a literal angel and I hope he's doing well, as well as his family
3) Breyonce is Mother Death and I would do anything for her ๐ค
๐๐๐๐๐
Breyonce is the most fabulous mortician Iโve ever seen
@@BreyonceVirgo what a beautiful woman, ๐ค๐ผ๐๐ค๐ผ nice boots by the way!!
@@BreyonceVirgo ahhhh you beautiful soul, I simply adore you ๐ญโค๏ธ
I thought you were gonna say you would die for her, now that would have been ironic ๐
As a fellow funeral director I have to say, Victor is the kind of person we love to see representing our job in a respectful, and professional way. I really appreciate all he is doing and the way he speaks of what we do.
Plus he's keeping that image dapper as fuck. If the person doing my embalming isn't wearing a vest with a gold pocket watch -- is it even worth it?
I second that!
Both of them
And what about Breyonce? This sounds real microagressive because that woman is as classy and PROFESSIONAL as it gets. You're weird as hell for this comment ๐คจ
@@claudeseymour Just because someone says one personโs name doesnโt mean that they donโt want to call other people out for their good deeds! Thereโs a lot of comments saying this about Breyonce, but nobody says anything about Victor not being mentioned in those comments. This is internalized sexism, please donโt have that mindset about these people. Everyone is respecting everyone here ๐ฅฐโค๏ธ
lowkey want both guests in one room so i can listen to them talk to each other about their experiences
OMG YES!
Victor is so well spoken and put together! Heโs extremely intelligent, but just as humble about it. He seems so wise- like knowledge gained outside of text books or studied in school.
i think everybode noticed that)
im in love with how victor and Anthony were literally just like having a therapy session for each other, it didn't feel like an interview at all it was more of a casual conversation between friends
Just goes to show how great Anthony is as an interviewer!!
@@Yue_mariin00 frrr
Breyonce is so sweet. I love how kind she is to the people she works with. Itโs so imporant
I thought it was special that she didnโt refer the deceased person to just as โa bodyโ.
@@sophieheid4464 Me ๐ฅบ
i wonder if her parents named her beyonce but then she added an R to avoid confusion
@@geko9214 lol no, my name is actually Brianna but my friends started calling me โBreyonceโ because I guess I can be described as a diva ๐คญ
โyou have to be connected to humanity to serve and protect humanityโ that is a perfect thing to say. This should be a policy for every job where you have to work with humans especially in a passionate way
Victor talking about witnessing his first decedent was so captivating. You can tell the level of respect he carries for these people. Itโs beautiful
The last few days before my grandpa passed, I couldnโt recognize him. He had such a big presence and his disease had him so small and fragile in bed. When we had his funeral, I was in absolute awe of how amazing he looked in the casket. That was my grandpa that I knew and loved and I am forever grateful I got to see him like that at least before we buried him. Iโm so thankful to the mortician who worked hard for our family.
Also to add I knew who victor was but I didnโt know Breyonce and she is so pretty and really cool!
glad to hear that you were able to have that closure. i think many people are off-put by the idea of an open casket funeral because humans are naturally disturbed by death. they dont want to acknowledge it in general, let alone when it comes to someone they care about, so they choose to avoid it seeing it. what they dont realize is that being able to see a loved one in that condition, when theyve been all cleaned up and well prepared, has the potential to replace unpleasant near-end-of-life memories of said person slowly fading away (in the case of natural death, like old age or disease) with one peaceful final memory. that way you dont have to feel like youre being haunted by the final image of that loved being that of someone you dont recognize. its like having something reclaimed.
Breyonce is so so sweet, I love how open she is about all of the emotional aspects. Made me tear up a few times there, just wanna give her a hug ๐ฅบ I really liked watching a longer interview with Victor too
I'm not sure if you've seen but Victor's done a couple other videos! He did a WIRED interview which is why many in the comments say they recognised him. Not necessarily longer but it's still more from him!
@@djbreadx They said that they appreciated having a longer video of him, implying that they've already seen the WIRED one.
I love how Victor seems exactly like the type of person to be a mortician, but I also love how Breyonce isnโt who youโd typically see in the industry
Victor and Breyonce seem like such genuinely wonderful people. It was pleasure learning more about this from them
As someone in mortuary school right now I love to see people sitting down with actual morticians and talking about what actually goes on!
Sounds like a painful career for me. Yikes
Damn that's cool. How long does one need to go to mortuary school? Good luck, mad respect ๐๐ค
Thereโs mortuary school LMAO!? Where !?
i want to be a mortician so damn bad but ill throw up at the sight of a drop of blood
@@gkrees9509 there are tons of them! you need a degree and certification to do this work.
Can you do I spent a day with Veterinarians? I feel like that would be interesting in how they mentally deal with their jobs
I could NEVER be a vet. All those poor babies...
@@frozenferal9992 oh yeah, I wanted to be a vet as a kid and then I found out what they actually do and my plans changed immediately lmao. I thought vets get to pet dogs all day long and just give them pills and occasionally a shot ๐
@@karolejnaa13 Yeah, they really get misunderstood with what they do. Plus, you have to factor in that animals can't talk, so a lot gets missed in translation. Their owners come in knowing NOTHING. Imagine having to explain that the puppy has to get put down when it was acting seemingly mostly fine when they left the house.
There are just so many layers. It's crazy. Saving animals, putting them down, and explaining to the human that can't even interpret for the animal.
My parents are both vets! My dad is a professor now but my mom has her own practice, & it gets pretty heavy sometimes but sheโs good at it & enjoys her job for the most part. Iโd definitely be interested to see Anthony talk to veterinarians!!
Yeah.. wanted to be a vet until I realized just how many dogs I'd try to help only to be put down... such an unexpectedly sad job after a few minutes of thinking
Breyonce is someone you wouldn't think is a mortician but she's so lovely and lively it really does make you wanna live your life. She's so captivating ๐ญ
It would be a nice juxtaposition to do a round two featuring Caitlin Doughty (Ask A Mortician), and other eco-morticians. There's a pretty fast growing movement of death care that's focused on encouraging family to be more involved, and looking into different alternate solutions to standard funeral practices.
None of the top comments are talking about how Breyonce looks and acts nothing that you would expect a mortician to look and act like, and Victor is the exact opposite. Not as stereotyping, more as humor. How someone so full of life can be so caring about death, and someone so careful with death has such a care with life.
I love this comment, you articulated the difference between them so well! They both seem like very caring people who are passionate about their work
VICTOR'S BACK!!! God, this man needs to make a youtube channel, id love to hear him talk about his job all day
I second that!
It helps my heart to know that after my friends body was dragged down the stairs in a body bag...someone treated him with dignity and respect.
i delt with the death of one of my friends at 14. the way the body was at the funeral was deeply disturbing to me and i still struggle with flashbacks and intrusive thoughts a few years later. iโve been finding victor calmly talking about this here and in other interviews so helpful to safely think about the upsetting experiences and emotions i carried. if someone who is struggling with similar things reads this, i hope it can help you too. i hope victor knows how many people he is helping just by talking about his job.
fly high z ๐
This is really interesting! Would you care to explain what it was that upset you? Because it was my impression that a mortician's job kinda also entails that not happening. I mean the way they prepare and "restore" a body for viewing.
@@DaemlichesStueck The thing is, the mortician didnโt do that job. He bore frighteningly little resemblance to how he was when he was alive. Not like he was sleeping, he looked dead. His cause of death also became apparent, it was kept from us as it was unpleasant. I guess it highlights how important their job is.
I'm so sorry you went through that! :'(
Sorry about your friend. That must be so hard.
Do you know Caitlyn Doughty's channel "Ask a Mortician"? She has a lot of different videos around death and grief. Many people have said that her videos have helped them, maybe you would like them, too. (Therapy is also always good but I know it's not always accessible.)
They both seem like the most wonderful people
Breyonce is so cute and passionate about this! Victor has a buddhist peace about him, I love them both.
Iโve been working at my local funeral home for nearly a year now as the housekeeper. Iโve gotten multiple raises & was offered to go from part-time to full-time. Needless to say, I love my work family & itโs safe to say they love me! I have always wanted to be a Last Responder, but never knew where to start, because I thought it wouldnโt be a practical job for me because I deal with mental illnesses daily and I used to not be able to even get out of bed. However, working around death put some life back into me & my passion to become a mortician had been reignited when my cousin had passed back in October. My coworkers are extremely supportive of me wanting to go to mortuary school & have been teaching me a lot. Iโm more comfortable with talking to people now - in fact, I love meeting new people! - and I have more control of my mental health. Now, I just to have to stay focused on not talking myself out of going to mortuary school because backing out of things I desperately want is a toxic trait of mine๐ฅด Iโm just glad Iโve finally figured out what Iโm on this earth for at such a young age because I never thought Iโd be successful after I dropped out of college a few years ago. I wouldโve been a college junior had I stayed, but my heart wasnโt in it. I can tell my heart is in the funeral business because I want to be able to give families a final, beautiful viewing of their loved ones no matter the cause of death.
How are you
When my grandpa passed a few years ago before he did I didnโt really recognize him as himself and then when it was the open casket I saw just him looking peaceful and he honestly looked like him before he was sick. I miss him so much but Iโm grateful that he is at peace
Iโm so thankful for morticians.
My sister passed a month ago and Iโm still grieving a bit. They tried their best with the makeup, though my sister looked a little bit grey on her cheeks, which didnโt help the overwhelming denial I was experiencing at the time- I kept having thoughts that she wasnโt actually dead- and that there was just a hyper realistic wax figure in her place
I dearly dearly miss her- as her little sister, she was my idol. She was successful, thoroughly beautiful (inside and out), and it was incredibly difficult to accept her death and how she died.
A couple days later I kept thinking about how the morticians will fix her up- make her look like she was just sleeping, gosh.
It feels so unrealโฆ
If thereโs an afterlife, I shall reunite with my sister.. one day in the future.
So sorry for your loss...
Sending you healing energy. Iโm so very sorry for your loss, i know that there are no words to mend what you are feeling, but know that you will always be carrying your sisters energy with you wherever you go in life, she will be a guide for you & one day you will meet her againโค๏ธ
@@nicemmmm Thank you for the kind words, Iโll take them to heart.
This Christmas, I feel like sheโll be there with us when we open up presents :)
You Sound Like a lovely little sister, i Bet she ist proud of you!
Im sorry for your loss.
I Wish for you that your time To heal Is gonna get the Support and Love from your Loved onesโฅ๏ธ together is a little easier Then alone ๐ฅ
@@waterwolf982 โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
Wish Ask a Mortician was on here. I freaking LOVE HER! But excited to watch other morticians as well
she would've been perfect
Indeed, I was super sad she wasn't in the video :(
How can you make a video about morticians without Caitlin Doughty?
Honestly, I thought the same - yet Caitlin has her own channel and, in my opinion, a significant presence on youtube, so why not show other cool and interesting morticians? :)
I guess we need a part 2!
In a world that has too many podcasts, Victor is a person that I want a podcast from. Anything that I can listen to him being passionate and funny and just vibing. Dude is a treasure.
I absolutely love how Breyonce so much respect for the deceased and has so much compassion for them and for what she does even after all the time she's been working as a mortician.
Morticians are such interesting people. Detached yet kind. The last gift you can give a person.
Also Breyonce's outfit is ๐ฅ. Those boots are amazing
I don't think detached is the correct word, maybe u bothered?
Edit: UNBOTHERED* Unintentionally went all "u mad bro?" at the end.
@@RealBradMiller ๐คฃ Desensitized is maybe best. I had a boss who was a funeral director for years. Very funny guy with extremely dark humor, maybe not the most sensitive. They do see so much that can be very traumatizing.
This career is a calling. And so so important. The care these people provide the living who mourn and all the respect they give the deceased. My father died a few months ago after losing his battle with addiction and all the help we got with his arrangements. The compassion they gave my family when we were all in very different grieving spaces was so beautiful. My mother was able to remember her husband as the man he was at his best because of them. And Iโll forever be grateful for that.
Wow๐ you have been selected as the winner of my giveaway ๐
Let's chat on Telegram ๐๐......
This is the main reason why I want to enter the field. Itโs a calling it a career.
Not*
itโs not the same as a person of course, but i watched my dogโs body sit in the garage for two days after she passed. decomposition absolutely goes quicker than you would think and trust me you do not want to see anyone you love change in that way. itโs absolutely a gift that these morticians give to the deceasedโs loved onceโs to preserve and โbring backโ the original look of someone whoโs died, and itโs such bs that some characterize the profession as weird or creepy
I love how this video starts with "are morticians really just morbid freaks?" and then Anthony asks Breyonce why she chose this job and she goes on to be a morbid freak xD She seems like a sweet and compassionate person. I really enjoyed how thorough her answers were and you could also see how much she respects the people she works with.
BREYONCEโS STYLE IS AMAZING ๐
Victor's personality attitude, and perspective in regards of his job is genuinely amazing, makes you feel comfortable taking about death. mad respect for both of them.
as someone who is currently studying to be a mortician, thank you so much for doing this interview. i think a lot of morticians get a bad rep because of stereotypes in the media and societal taboos around death and this really helped to break down some of that and show the profession in the same light as any other job.
My sister is a morticians apprentice and Iโm shocked at how much sheโs learned but also how intimate her job truly is. Normally in movies you see pale, grim, creepy men as morticians but itโs way more loving and intricate than that. God Bless morticians!
The way u can hear their voice break multiple times is hearthbreaking
God I know, made me emotional.
The setting of features was so fascinating to me when I got into the field. I remember I had a man who was a mechanic in life. He was in terrible shape for a natural death. He suffered from awful chronic pain and the expression that his face defaulted to was an awful grimace. Like full pinched eyebrows and tight lips as if he was clenching his jaw. Nothing we did could soften his expression and I had never known that was something that could occur.
This really made me realize embalming is a form of art. The attention to detail and going above and beyond for the families in sensitive times is really admirable
He did a beautiful job of explaining our career and not making it creepy or morbid. You can tell he isnโt here to gain social credit, but to educate. Excellent job Victor โค
When she mentioned children and babies it broke my heart cause I never really thought about that :(
TW: LOSS
We lost a pregnancy pretty far into it this summer (super traumatic awful experience) and the person who came to us in the hospital from the funeral home to talk to us was so gentle and kind. He respected our beliefs and the tone of the room as well as doing everything he could to accommodate the options we selected and how we chose to proceed. He was so respectful and I felt understood and cared for.
Iโm so sorry you had to go through that, my heart goes out to you. Im glad you had someone so gentle to take care of you in your time of need. I hope youโre doing okay ๐
Breyonce and Victor are so sweet. They deserve a great appreciation for doing this job and being so kind and caring not only to the deceased but to the family of the deceased.
My friend just died a few days ago and this video gives a little peace knowing she is being cared for. I miss her so much but thank you for this video. RIP my beautiful friend.
im so sorry for your loss ๐๏ธ
This is my favorite episode. Have I been watching Caitlin's videos for years. Absolutely love Victor. My only disappointment is that Caitlin was not in the video.
Yeah she would've given a nice alternative death option ideas and views. Plus she's real fun and educational โ๏ธ
Awesome! Another deathling in the comments. Hi! I love Caitlin Doughtyโs (Ask A Mortician) videos. I learn so much from them and yes it wouldโve been amazing if theyโd interviewed her
totally agree, although these two seem very compassionate and good at their jobs it would have been nice to hear from another perspective of the funeral care industry. Maybe that is too fringe for an introductory video to the topic- but perhaps a future video?
Me too!
She is what made me want to go to mortuary school
You should do an interview exclusively with Caitlin Doughty (Ask a Mortician), she is so fascinating, kind and funny. She deserves her own episode. She helped me be more comfortable with my and my loved ones mortality. Especially when I lost my first family member.
Caitlin doesn't sugar coat everything like this video does.
@@ChainsawBunny92 Talking about it in a respectful, bright and "non-clinical" way is not sugar coating it moron.
Caitlin is amazing! Also I don't think this video sugar coats or talks in a vastly different way about death and death preparations than Caitlin does on her own channel. It's weird to compare the two like that imo. Both these interviewees and Caitlin talk with a lot of passion, care, and respect for the dead as well as love for their work. Neither struck me as superfluous or sugar-coating
She's helped me so much with understanding death. She's also helped me realize embalming isn't necessary or the only way to care for a loved one post mortem. I've become an advocate for green burials.
โ@ChainsawBunny92 I wouldn't say that this video sugar coats things. In fact,Breyonce flat out says it's messy work at times and that she's had to work on children and babies and absolutely has to desensitize herself. Plus Victor more or less acted like a therapist and said "Tell me how your grandmother's funeral went", instead of beating around the bush.
my nana passed away last September, when I saw her in the hospital hooked up to everything, it was terrifying. it wasnโt her!! but when I saw her at the viewing and the funeral in the open casket, she looked so so youthful and beautiful. i am so thankful for these people who make it their goal to bring calmness and remembrance to the toughest time in our lives.
Same- this year I had 2 deaths close to me, my MIL (80) and my Aunt (69).
My Aunt was taken off of life support and seeing her intubated was so hard and she wasnโt herself. She was very meticulous about her appearance and she looked so beautiful at her viewing, hair and nails done perfectly just like she would have wanted.
My Mother in Law died suddenly alone after collapsing. She was taken to the Medical Examinerโs office so couldnโt be embalmed until Day 3 and I think that made a difference. Mortuary makeup couldnโt cover the marks on her face from hitting the kitchen counter as she fell, she looked more swollen than usual and she had a pained expression on her face. It also didnโt help that her siblings kept wanting to delay her funeral until they could get there so her viewing was 8 days after she died when we put our foot down that we wouldnโt accomodate any more delays. They did the best they could but we werenโt happy with how she looked, she looked better and more โherโ when I identified her body on Day 2.
โ@moseschrute It's interesting how something as simple as a face can change how people feel after a death.
I never met my grandparents on my dad's side. I only knew of my grandma through photographs. She looked like a thinner, more tired version of me with a slightly bigger forehead and greener eyes.
I did meet her mother, my Nona. Nona loved to dance, wear cute dresses, and eat delicious foods. She had a twinkle in her eyes when she saw her great grandkids and had a picture of us with our names on her fridge.
The last time I saw her alive, she was dying of brain cancer and a stroke had left her shriveled and paralyzed in a wheelchair. The twinkle in her eyes was gone. My parent told me she wanted to die. I made a wish that she'd be happy.
I dream of her, happy and dancing and wearing her pretty dress. I didn't see her body when she finally passed. I feel like she understands.
I want to remember her as the happy Italian great grandma who loved salami and had a twinkle in her eyes when we came to visit.
Victor M. Sweeney is one of my favorite people in this world, I enjoy every video he has ever participated in because he always approaches any given subject with respect.
He also is so calm and helps you understand the technicalities, especially for someone like me who always wanted to follow that path, his process makes me hyped every single time.
Anthony! Daddy Padildo! please interview Caitlin from Ask a Mortician for a future episode relating to the newer ideas behind cremation and aquamation(sp?), and green burials! she is so fun and informative and I want to see her charity get more publicity as well
Daddy Pawhat ๐ญ๐ญ
Wtf
Fully agree sheโs so fun in her videos. Sheโs one reason me and my mom talk about what weโd want for our funerals. Lol she can help Anthony plan his funeral like she had planned to do as a cross over episode when she was getting a tv show.
I was sad they didn't get her on ๐ญ
OH YES! Breyonce and Victor are wonderful but we also needed the Queen for sure. Caitlin is so fun !
I was hoping Caitlin from Ask a Mortician would be in this video but I assume her move is keeping her really busy nowadays. I was also hoping the morticians would be asked about The Mortuary Assistant game. Still an amazing video! Really happy I saw Victor in this episode. His Wired's Tech Support videos were awesome!
Yeah fr so disappointed she wasn't in here ๐ญ
Oh, that's why I clicked this, hoping she'd be here.
OMG same! She offers such a insightful perspective on death in general, and not to mention she also has a pretty cool personality. ๐
I've had a fascination with death since I was kid like Breyonce, and I knew since I was in middle school that I wanted to work as a mortitian..sadly I'm turning 24 this year and I still haven't followed any career path in mind because I always felt so lost about life in general, and this video ignited in me the passion I always had for this job since childhood. I'll definitely take Victor's advice and start looking for a place to get hired even if I only have to clean around, honestly I will be satisfied with my life just being in a space related to death lol
Victor is so professional and at the same time empathic.
When my mother in law died, I remember two people very specifically. The nurse in her hospice wing that was extremely kind and empathetic, and the funeral director who got us through the viewing and burial and funeral, and he was extremely sympathetic and connected to us. It's very important.
There is this K-drama called May I Help You, where one of the main charachters is also a mortician and the drama taught me exactly everything this video taught me too. That there is way more to the process and there are so many people and emotions involved. I'm truly grateful to all the morticians out there because they are truly strong and kind people that help both the living and dead.
Oooh gonna check out that K-drama.
I only can imagine this while seeing this video:
Barbie: "have you ever thought about dying?"
Breyonce as a Bratz: "all the time girl, that's why I live my life to the fullest"
And then they become besties
They both have very calming voices. Thatโs good for the families that have the loved one whoโs passed
The career of a mortician sounds fascinating. Its exposure to something most people cannot handle but is absolutely necessary for the sake of ritual and grief. It's a very human career.
Also recession proof.
@@heathercameron1485 Well, that depends on how hungry people get.
Breyonce and Victor are some very wonderful humans and Iโm glad theyโre the type of people supporting vulnerable people.
Victor gave me a whole new perspective on death and made it a lot easier in my mind. Everyone one on here were great and amazing people.
Anthony, I can totally relate to the present grieving vs the past. Itโs because the day we learned of their death, we still knew them to be alive. The next day theyโre gone and the past memories come forward, since their living is no longer the present. My mom passed away 4 years ago from a fatal heart attack. I requested to go up and see her before the ambulance took her away. This was my way of finding acceptance and peace from her passing. It is completely surreal. Seeing someone you love completely lifeless. The day before, my mom wouldโve looked at me with loving eyes and interacted with me. After death, she was a statue of herself, not blinking or breathing. This may be too much for some people, but I had to see her in her final moments to familiarize myself with what happened to her. It helped me grieve.
I loved this episode. Breyonce and Victor seem like phenomenal people in their field. Would have also loved to see Caitlin Doughty!
When he explained how he spend hours working to preserve that body so the family could see him one last time brought tears to my eyes. What an amazing and compassionate human being
The craziest part for me was learning how when people die, whether they were more of a happy, or more of a sad person, will show within their death with how the body will naturally position itself. That's real fascinating.
It's interesting for sure. Also saddens me a bit because I frown a lot so I suppose I'll look unhappy in death as well.
i love victor, his name rocks and he's just so kind and well spoken. i hope everything is going okay with him
My little sister passed away from unexpected illness earlier this year. The mortician who prepared her were very kind to me and my mom. This has been the hardest thing in my life I've had to face so I'll never forget that kindness.
It's great seeing someone like Breyonce in this line of work. She looks like a dope friend I could have, just a regular, fun lady who has an unusual job.
Dear god, it was so hard to get through this episode. I absolutely loved it, but each description, each story, each encounter with death... Had me sobbing, I was ready to cry my eyes out.
Understandable. Prospective means a lot.
RIP.
This is one of the only episodes where I've cried, and nothing was really sad either. It's more tears about finding out that people care about people when others wouldn't, it gives me comfort in knowing that.
My grandfather has been a mortician my entire life so Iโve always had respect for the professional through him. appreciate the kindness of these folks
you definitely should do an entire episode with Caitlin Doughty from Ask A Mortician. she's a mortician who is more outcast from the mortuary community because she practices natural burial and alternatives to embalming, burial, and creamation
YES! I was sad that she wasn't in this one ๐ญ
I love her videos. I hadnโt thought about my burial in the future because Iโm so young but her talking about it made me realize I would prefer to not be embalmed and would rather have a natural burial
My husband died of cancer in 2012. My son was murdered in 2018. My life has come to a stand still. I cannot move on.
i have such respect for these people, i could never do it, and it really takes a special kind of person to be able to do it
Victor has such a gift with the way he explains things and speaks to people. I imagine he brings a lot of families comfort and peace.
I had a physical reaction when Anthony said you grieve and then move on...that's not really true. Grief isn't something that goes away. I lost my dad six years ago now and I still grieve for him. It's just not constant anymore. It comes in waves and the waves just get further and further apart. My analogy is that it is like there's a huge hole in the ground. You know it's there and you learn to avoid it, but occasionally you still fall in.
youโre right. i made it feel cut and dry but thatโs definitely not the case. i should have said that you โcan move a little easierโ rather than implying you can completely move on.
@@AnthonyPadillaThe feeling of missing someone can also be quite different depending on when that family member passes away. If they lived a long and full life its easier to get pass that sadness and celebrate their life. For someone that died before getting to that elderly age is a lot harder. They didnโt experience their full lives and they didnโt get to see you live your life. A sibling, a child, a parent thatโs still middle aged, anyone that hasnโt reached the resolution of their life.
I think it depends on how you define grief, I don't think missing a person goes away, but I don't think missing someone is always grief. Once you've accepted that they're gone and the loss no longer consumes your thoughts, when you can think about them without feeling anger that they're gone, then you've moved on. The loss will stay with you but the grief will subside, eventually. There's no easy way to predict how long it will take, I grieved for 3 years for a not quite friend from highschool I hadn't spoken to in 2 years and hadn't really been friends with since 7th grade, but she died suddenly and unexpectedly 6 days after her 18th birthday, and the pain I felt over the unfairness of that stuck inside of me for years afterwards. Sometimes it just does. The sadness will stay, missing them will stay, but the grief will subside eventually.
@@butasimpleidiotwizardI like how you phrased that. Sometimes part of grief is missing someone but missing someone is not *always* grief. They can overlap but they donโt have to.
There are some people in my life I lost where sometimes something will remind me of them and I miss them, but itโs not like trudging a ton of painful feelings because I know they lived a good long life. When itโs someone who maybe didnโt have the longest or best life, missing them can feel different at least for me it does. Because youโre not just grieving the person youโre grieving what could have been, the unfairness. When I miss someone who didnโt get to live their life the way they would have wanted that oneโs a lot harder.
@@AnthonyPadilla I think it's the difference between "mourning" and "grief!" The mourning period is the hardest imo and once you're through that, it's grief. At least for me in my experience. It's also like how they talk about the stages of grief but it isn't a linear process. You go through each one randomly and at your own pace. Some you don't feel at all. Like I don't think I really did the bargaining bit. My grief has mostly cycled through depression and anger. Not anger at my dad, just...the world and everything in it.
I have to go to my grandma's funeral in a few days and listening to morticians like these who care is really comforting.
When the day comes me and or/ my brother and sister have to deal with a mortician: I hope theyโre as sweet and understanding as these two are
I usually hate open caskets because the person never really truly looks like themself. However, my grandfather recently passed. He had been sick for a long time. And when I saw him, I was in awe of just how good he looked. It was a healing moment for me to see him seemingly whole again after watching him suffer for so long. He is the closest person I've ever lost and I am incredibly thankful that that was my last experience with him.
Both of these people are so fucking awesome!! I feel like this definitely helps to break the stereotype ab morticians being some sort of psychopaths too bc theyโre literally just people trying to make a living & on top of that theyโre both so empathetic,, ALSO BREYONCE IS A QUEEN OMFG PLZ IM IN LOVE W HERโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ the style, the personality, everything is givinggg, & itโs empowering to see as a young woman
โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
About the topic Anthony said in the minute 14:40: "When I saw her the next day, it felt like a memory" and the mortician person complementing his idea: "The night before a funeral is for looking backwards, but the day of the funeral is for looking fowards" I'm totally agree with his statement. Unfortunately my grandma passed away on July 23th of this year, her last wish was not have a funeral, she doesn't like the tradition here in Mexico (even when she was a religious person) because here is quite common keep vigil over the body of the deceased person at least one or two days after the dead and then the funeral and the process of the burial. The next nine days, your family goes to a religious event called "novenario" where you pray for person who was deceased to wish that his soul reaches heaven soon.
My grandma thought this tradition is painful for the people who is alive, because you are extending the trauma of the event many days, that's the reason why she decided be cremated and she refuses to have a funeral and a proper burial of her ashes too, instead she preferred being burial with her parents in her home town.
The big problem here is my family doesn't had the opportunity to cry for her deceased, all my family was in shock about it because it happened so fast, we still in denial unconsciously. Nobody cried because we were worried about the feelings of the other person in front of us, my family are very closed with their emotions so maybe we felt afraid of don't being able to handle the tears and the sad feeling of other member in our family so everyone created a shield between our emotions and the reality. My family is not the same, all of us are irritated almost all day, we can't talk with eachother, we distanced ourselves. Unfortunately I learned in the most painful way this: the funeral is important for the alive people, not for the dead person, even when your wish could be not have a funeral, think in your family because everyone need a safe space to cry and let it go the emotions, everyone need a place where you can talk with other people who already appreciated your existence in this planet and receive a hug, a recomforting words of affirmation about everything are going to be okay. You can be a considered person because your loved ones are those who will face the trauma.