SantaCon: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (Web Exclusive)
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- 게시일 2019. 12. 07.
- The holiday season brings with it a host of annual traditions. John Oliver discusses one of the worst.
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![[EN/JP] 보조 게이 앓다 죽을 이상형 💎변우석💎 l 홍석천의 보석함 시즌2 EP.08](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lnlyPzQDUMg/mqdefault.jpg)
HBO Lawyers: atleast this segment definitely has no chance of a lawsuit
John Oliver: SCIENTOLOGY
meh they won't sue.. even they know they are a bullshit religion. well okay, they won't sue as long as we don't mention Tom Cruise.
Scientology is a joke. Fuck those brainwashed fucks
I guess he’s planning an episode on Scientology whe; he gets back, because you know they will be coming for him now lol
Haaaahahaaaahahaaaaaa!
Scientology..
I know of four made up religions surrounding the last crap I made that make more sense.
For those who don't know, "Shelly" is the wife of David Miscavage, the head of scientology, who hasn't been seen publicly in over 13 years.
Cause she dead
@@batt3ryac1d no she isnt
Pascoolism then where is she
Ahhhh come on, Shelly!!!!
@@Pascoolism There really isn't any proof that she's alive, at best, she's been held prisoner since 2007, which doesn't sound that great either.
As a European, a group of drunk Santas getting into a fight is the most American thing I can think of.
Funnily, SantaCon was originally inspired by a one-off political happening in Copenhagen. A group of actors dressed as Santa Claus invaded a posh multistory shop and handed out gifts from the store shelves along with manifestos against commercialization of Christmas. When they were arrested for stealing the gifts off the shelves it turned out they had bought and paid for each item in advance, then hidden them to give the illusion of handing out store goods. Somehow this inspired the drunken nonsense that is SantaCon.
@@johncrowerdoe5527 best. Fun fact. Ever
Yeah.
You guys invented Santa. Americans perfected him.
What about a drunk eagle making out with a cola bottle?
“I would argue this SantaCon should probably be the last” - John Oliver, december 2019.
Well John, again, you were just about right!
LastWeekTonight should hold JohnOliverCon, where we dress up as a middle aged British man and get hammered on tea and biscuits
PinkABlink And on crap English lagers that taste like piss
NO
😂😂😂😂
@@mscbijles1256 Better than what the americans call beer
start a gofundme
He just dropped the heat to Scientology on a video about Santacon, this man is prolific
I really want him to do an entire show about Scientology, but I know HBO would never go for it.
@@LnPPersonified i mean they produced "going clear" so I don't think it's that impossible.
@@LnPPersonified pretty sure he had an episode on Scientology, or at least a LOT of mini segments. He even closed a show saying Xenu next week...
@@LnPPersonified bro, JO goes about whatever the fuck he wants
Pokerface HBO has “gone for” quite a bit of John’s pieces, I wouldn’t be surprised.
"I'm not usually the judgmental type."
*Sorts every child on Earth into a naughty or nice list*
And with dubious criteria, which are not known, can't be checked nor appealed. Like, is getting abortion "naughty", even in case the pregnancy started as a result of rape? Who knows, maybe being gay is considered "naughty", the rules are nowhere to be seen, no fair trials, no hearings, nothing!
krplus.net/bidio/ZbCZl3mAl2jeiHY Serbian John Oliver.
John Oliver: "I would argue this SantaCon should probably be the last."
2020: "Agreed"
we did what we had to do to stop it
Well...
Aw xD
“Two Santas going at it”
A sentence I never thought I would hear
clearly you’ve never been on porn hub
This is how nature produces new Santas.
Maybe one of the Santa's was a woman?
like the words "naughty and nice", some people think those two words go together well, some don't.
Joshua Salem I believe I heard it once before from my father.
"Aisle 1: Produce. Aisle 2: Dairy. Aisle 3: Breads. Aisle 4: The Naughty Bits."
DaveLH The whole concept of Santa is bizarre. This guy who somehow manages to go down a chimney all over the world into billions of people's home to drop a shitload of presents then back up again flying around in a sleigh driven by Reindeers with names and personalities in a pretty much 6 hour period of time--midnight to 6 am. And somehow Santa also finds time to eat cookies and drink milk at every single house he's in--thats at least almost a billion cookies and glasses of milk in 6 hours. And this is what we continue to lie to our kids about? Why? To teach them not to think logically too young? To say imagine before it's too late? To make Christmas more thrilling with all this pretense? I am serious. There comes a time when we might want to re-think the idea that "the kids love it" or we "do it for the kids" because once they find out we've been lying to them, but sort of blame us when they find out Santa isn't real and it's JUST your dad, mom or whomever, the kids gets upset 1) because there is no magical being giving the kids presents for no reason whatsoever, we basically picked a day that originally was a religious ritual about celebrating the birth or christ or whatnot, with another completely unrelated story that basically motivated shopping sprees. 2) your dad or mom or whatnot is probably not a magical being.
@@jschuler53 what did all of that have to do with this comment?
@@TheSteelSoulGuy Because the whole premise of John's bit is based on this bizarre event, Santa Con which is based in some perverted way on another bizarre notion of a Santa Claus. It is my opinion that we should stop this Santa story, stop people pretending to be Santas in stores, it's all a marketing tool. I guess it would not have bothered you had I put it under a different comment Sorry? I hope this helps.
Aisle 1: Produce. Aisle 4: Reproduce.
@@jschuler53 it clears things up, thanks
We really need a segment on Scientology.
YES.
dude. krplus.net/bidio/frZ8a6CMX6-8iqA
you're welcome.
also: krplus.net/bidio/Zpish4l2k5rKgaQ
We have South Park for that
j v That’s great and all, but I mean one of those 20 minute segments. His team is more than capable.
damn right
"Can you describe the suspect?"
"Well he was kinda heavy. Long white beard. Red and white suit."
"He kept asking little kids to sit in his lap and something about being naughty or nice having to do with his big red sack"
" he was with and old lady in a red and white dress and a little person in a slay being pulled by 9 reindeer and I think one had a red flashlight for a nose, I think I saw it flying but I was really drunk at the time"
"He claimed he was full of Christmas cheer, when he was really full of beer."
"Lots of jizz & beer stains."
He said something about emptying his bed red sack under my christmas tree.
Fire the writers who didn't come up with "aisle fournication". It was sitting right there.
#aislefournication
I don't believe I didn't see that. Kudos.
Literally screamed "OOOOOOOW MY GOD" due to that pun. Get out.
You are an amazing person. Never change. Unless that change is getting a writing gig because I need more of that please
Maybe the santas were married to each other, and it technically wasn't fornication.
I absolutely love the "Where's Shelly, David? Where's Shelly?" LOL
dgenerationbigestfan I feel like I understood that joke but then again I think I missed it 😂
@@MultiCardsfan1 David Miscavige, leader of the church of Scientology, has a wife. Her name is Shelly. She hasn't been seen in public since 2007.
There is much speculation.
Shelly Miscavige is/was the wife of the leader of Scientology. I believe the story is that she was questioning scientology and was sent to somewhere remote to calm down a bit. But no one has seen her publicly since 2007 and her husband maintains that she is away somewhere at her own will. Might be held against her will, might be dead. No one knows. Anyone feel free to add/correct what I've said but that's my understanding.
*WHERE'S SHELLY, DAVID*
dgenerationbigestfan I wish he’d devote an entire program to Scientology. Then go on to Other Cults that most people think are 👌🏽 okay. I remember the program when John formed his own church. 🤣😂🤣😂
“Two Santa’s going at it.” That would make a fantastic Christmas card.
"We are back next February" is the saddest way this clip could have possibly ended.
actually, it could have been: Were back next february, from our new studio in hoboken, new jersey
@@DannyMcFlyCosplay W
Ikr. Can we skip January?
You had no idea
@@rachelrachel9152 we were so innocent back then.
"Where's Shelley, David?" "Where is she?" 👏👏👏👏👏👍👍
My fav part 😂
I don’t get that one
Someone care to enlighten me?
Julien Kirsch it’s a reference to Shelly Miscavige, wife of David Miscavige, the leader of Scientology. Shelley hasn’t been seen since, like, 2007
@@libbybollinger5901 Yikes! That guy wreaks creepiness. 😳
@@libbybollinger5901 many people assume she's dead. Kind of dark actually
"...we are back next february..."
And thus begins my 3 month period of sitting on the floor in a corner rocking back and forth.
So you kinda like this show huh?
Are you me?
@@denzelwenzel kinda?? KINDA?!!
You could reduce your boredom by celebrating at the Santa con
It could be worse. You could be this child....
www.propublica.org/article/house-chairman-says-trump-administration-misled-congress-on-boys-death-in-custody/amp?__twitter_impression=true
*Good job America!* Just keep letting children die in encampments!
Why does Santa con look like the first Christmas themed purge
I thought it looked like a Where's Waldo picture!
The same reason a table looks like a table...
2:06 - I saw Mommy f^%&ing Santa Clause...underneath the mistletoe in aisle 4
This...does put a smile on my face
"Where's Shelly?" didnt get nearly the amount of laughs it deserves.
@@HighOctane01 #Facts
I cracked up laughing, because I spent a good chunk of the '90s and '00s picketing Scientology. It warms the cockles of my cold, cold heart to see that something as obscure as the fate of Shelley Miscavige can make it on to a comedy show.
It's a pretty old joke for many zoomers.
That's because she's probably dead or living in squalid conditions in a dungeon somewhere. That's actually super sad
@@mondoshredder5783 True. I had no idea who this person was and now I know.
True story: My friend and I once got an extension on an art history project because we were trying to go to a museum, but couldn’t make it in time on account of being terrified to walk down the block covered in 30 to 40 different Santas.
SantaCon is real and it is scary
I used to avoid outside Manhattan like the plauge when I lived in NYC due to this.
Just start a Grinch con, and beat up the Santa's.. or jack skeleton con...
Real world can be scary, if you decide to live in fear. I just walked through a sideshow last night, masses of people gathered in the back road intersection, with multiple cards doing donuts. You just have to hold your own energy, and go on about your own life. If you treat people no different, as you would treat any other, it removes that "me vs they" mentality.
@Poppy Kneegrow You're a bit of a douche, huh?
Shu Meister, that's severely underplaying this. This video alone said they get drunk, get in fights and sexually harass people. If someone wants to avoid that then they have every right to do so. Don't expect people to walk into danger just because you think you can 'hold your own energy'. That's how people get hurt, and then blamed because 'well why did you enter this knowingly dangerous looking event?'
"Aisle 4 for life, son!" -John Oliver, 2019
At the same Duane Reade that I normally shop at.
I really want to know what that guys hat said
Can't wait for John Oliver to discuss World War 3
none of US or Iran wants to start it though.
Not sure what he' s going to talk about.
He should be back from vacation by now!!!
@Derick G when is the first episode i googled and couldnt find an answer
Oi!! Do not give us a war!! It's a USA war, the world is not into it!!
@@aliliving7774 Tell that to our citrus golem of a president
"where is Shelly, David? Where is she?"
Yes indeed lol where is she
didn't he kill her?
@@LithiumThiefMusic allegedly
She is 100% dead.
@@jewelsgrl let's make it 90%, if she survived the prison camp till now.
Anyone care to explain the reference?
"I'm not usually the judgemental type"
-The guy with a literal list of all the naughty and nice children for the whole year
**He's not the one picking the kids.**
@Juan Cortez Muro Cut that shit out. Pasting your link to every comment is just sad. I dont know what it is, but pasting it everywhere with the dumb emoji is pathetic.
12 8 19 Hey@@stclemmons1969 , I briefly checked it out. Juvenile stuff talking about crack; I left after 5 seconds. Hope the helps. Be well. v
Santa never said HE was the one who was good 😂
Historically, santacon is more accurate to early traditions than the actual holiday
Pinkerton Dan Pie this needs more likes
Good ol winter solstice lol
@@mannyurdaneta7883 and so, we shall chip in.
Well, yeah. Considering that Christmas started out as a pagan Roman solstice festival called the Saturnalia. That was basically an orgy.
#SantaConIsTheTrueMeaningOfChristmas
"This Santa-Con should be the last." well, you got your wish, but at what cost?
This is from 2022, I can confirm, it's still here! 😆
Hello Parrot daddy I missed you.
Ziad Azam best comment on here
"we are back next february" destroyed me profoundly... like FEBRUARY folks.. that's ages from now!!
I can't wait for him to be back
That’s the first thing I said when it was over.
“FEBRUARY?!” 🤦🏽♂️😔
lets get jim jefferies in to alternate with john
If you grow weed, that's only 1 about harvest bro. Light one up and get your seeds going now.
OK millennial
John Oliver: This should be the year SantaCon dies
Covid-19: Say no more Mr. Oliver
Santa's little helper.
Clearly the audience did not get the Shelly Miscavige joke
That's because it's a laugh track. Blame the production team.
@@OutSideTheBoxFormat if it's a laugh tracK why would it be a small laugh
@@Arcin00 Why would an audience show up for a 3 minute video? He says at the beginning they are off. Have you ever seen a shot of the audience? I havent.
@@OutSideTheBoxFormat i mean might've just been shot after an episode
@@Arcin00 Have you ever seen a shot of the audience? Like many of these shows at the end they usually have an announcement like " if you'd like to be part of our live audience" followed by contact info. Still have never seen an audience shot like you would see on one of the nightly talk shows or interaction with the audience
"I'm not usually the judgmental type"
Santa. The man who literally has a list of every single child in the world and deems whether they are good or not year round.
You know, if Santa released his statistical data, we could find out if children are becoming nicer or naughtier, and possibly determine what set these trends into motion, and then use that knowledge to improve childcare , leading to happier childhoods and more well-adjusted adults in the future.
Congratulations, you explained the joke.
@@BlackieLeone apparently you did not get the original joke
And he checks it *twice!*
If anything, Krampus is the non judgmental type
"I repeat HOBOKEN, NEW JERSEY." 😂
Ooooooooh, I'm dyin'!
@@parasguglani4270 Nothing, and I think that's the point
@@parasguglani4270 Nothing. That's why it's so despairing
Last time I heard about Hoboken is Cake Boss.
I live in New Jersey, and I didn’t even know Santa Con happened here (though I do live at the other end of the state from Hoboken).
Ahhh the joy of the holidays is riding the train into NYC and seeing grown adults in Santa and elf costumes passed out and missing their stops at 9PM.
That guy was seriously disturbed by the isle4 act, lol.
kinda makes you wonder what the santas were doing lol it must have been impressive to generate that guy's reaction...
Im surprised he was not laughing hysterically, I mean what else is an appropriate response to seeing santa fucking santa?
You wouldn’t be able to hear Santa that clearly if he was using AT&T
oooh burn for business daddy!!!
Shots fired
I want this pinned.
Santa is being naughty again, i see.
Mommy santa is passed out on our porch
He sees you when you’re sleeping
NOT AGAIN
Santa is how we teach our children that everything is a lie. Grow up and stop being so naive, billy.
And by his own admission, he masturbates A LOT.
I like how the Shelley Miscavige reference is just vague enough to avoid a lawsuit.
Can't wait to hear he's thought about "WWIII" lol
Can you imagine being a cop at one of these “the suspect is wearing... ok literally the exact same thing as everyone else present.”
That's exactly what i thought. If i was to plan a crime, i would simply conduct it wearing a Santa costume. Good luck following me then.
I think with SantaCon's reputation preceding the event, there are police officers everywhere already.
Pretty sure that's how the violence and crime got started in the first place
That is one of the greatest unspoken secrets of Santacon. You fracture a law, it is easy to blend into a crowd of 100+ Santas.
Remember the last scene from the joker where everyone wears the joker mask and cause chaos? Santa con is pretty much the same
"I'm not usually the judgementel type."
Said the guy who keeps naughty and nice lists.
Yeah but literally everyone ends up on the nice list.
@@faristasairuv5143 Unless you're poor. Or don't celebrate Christmas.
@@faristasairuv5143 I'm pretty sure that my uncle was actually given coal for Christmas one year when he was a kid.
"the guy who keeps naughty and nice lists."
Ted Kaczynski?
@@JemPatrick fuck that’s terrible
Everyone else: *laughing*
Me: FEBRUARY?!?
Getting arrested while dressed as Santa is probably the least off-putting thing about Hoboken.
I go to college there and I don't think it's bad. What's wrong with it?
If we could post pics to the comments I’d show you one I snapped of a homeless guy taking a shit on a street littered with used needles but I think I made my point🤦♂️🤷♂️
@@thefloridamanofytcomments5264 Damn.
where im from they dont arrest you!
Where's Arnold Schwarzenegger with a giant candy cane when you need him?
Nailing his maid in his marital bed. That's where.
"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"
Give me da Turbo Man dahl
Yarg put that cookie down now! NOW!
@@carultch it's naht a tumah!
“Two Santa’s... going at it” 😂😂😂😂
So hot.
"Oh my!" - George Takei
Grant Bradshaw Funny since I HAVE seen two Santas shagging the brains out of each others at Sainsburry’s. It was at cleaning detergent isle though.
@@kennethhwang3425 Maybe it was less shagging and really just chimney sweeping.
Angry Applesauce Well, whatever it was, they had a hell of a time, one Santa even pulled apart the Addicted jock straps of the other Santa while I was picking out Windex. Mrs Claus sure can’t deliver that.
Last year's SantaCon may have been really the last. Nice one, John!
"Arrested at SantaCon in Hoboken, New Jersey." The new holiday album from Vampire Weekend.
He's making a list, he's checking it twice, he's going to find out who's naughty or nice
Also Santa: I'm not the judgmental type
But lets also acknowledge that we rarely actually see Santa deliver coal to the naughty kids in his depictions.
@@JonBerry555 no, but in some places he delivers switches instead.
You could get something from Sump'n Claus..
People: "Christmas is the most wholesome time of the year."
Santacon: *"Hold my d1ck."*
You're allowed to say dick on the internet.
Christmas is just going back to its drunken pagan roots. Seriously: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas#Post-classical_history "Various writers of the time condemned caroling as lewd, indicating that the unruly traditions of Saturnalia and Yule may have continued in this form. "Misrule"-drunkenness, promiscuity, gambling-was also an important aspect of the festival." The Puritans even banned it for that reason. Christmas was created to christianize old pagan holidays.
@@griffin3964 that is very interesting, thanks for the background, I had no idea. And what great observation about christmas going back to its drunken pagan roots.christmas is weird.
Whats more wholesome than a bunch of santas spreading the "love"
I mean is it any different than that one time at christmas where the uncle gets drunk dresses as santa and watches as you sleep in a very creepy way? ... no one else? That was just me? So drunk santas, huh?
That was the guy from the good liars that said the Santa’s were going at it in the store! 😂
Aww.
I’ve been a professional elf in the Pacific Northwest for five years. (Parades, tree lightings, parties, grand openings, tv interviews).
My Santas are all heavily screened, as am I.
This is revolting. :(
"Where's Shelly, David, where's Shelly?"
Can someone please explain this?
I didn't get it even
@@CodyCzar1 Shelly is the wife of David miscavige, the leader of Scientology. And she haven't been seen in a decade. So we presume she is dead.
Yeah, I don't know what that's about either. I feel like some of the audience also didn't get the reference.
Explanation will be appreciated!
Co C David Miscavige is the leader of Scientology. His wife Shelly has been missing or not see in the public eye for like 10+ years. You can google it.
Thrilled, to have a new Last Week Tonight notification.
SAMEEE
I also!
@Leopold because it covers Christmas and New Years and all the celebrations of other people and religions. It's very well mannered and the English have the best manners on the planet
@Leopold this one is about Christmas, he's not coming back until February maybe he's not planning on making any more shows until after the holidays
@Leopold sorry I have always said both which ever one I wanted to say and never had any problems. I've said Merry Christmas to Chinese people and Jewish people and they were always as nice as could be
Coming from the year of 2022, NYC. After the COVID, Santa Con is still big and alive here 😂
John Oliver really said "it should be last" about Santa Con 2019 and 2020 ran with that
The guy was clearly traumatised by the santas going at it.
I hope the santas were both men.
That look on his face- innocence lost
sirius4k Yeah, I think they got wasted and forgot to act like bros. That butt stuff will haunt their dreams.
Poor discount Hugh Grant
I'm straight and I'd pay to see that ! How awesome must it have been.
“Back next February” 😭😭😭
2020 is the last year in Oliver's contract for the show. With all the potshots they've taken at AT&T since they acquired HBO, I'm sure they're strapping in for a long, possibly last, season
12 8 19 Hey@@Lssssssser, I hope not. I would imagine he'd end up somewhere. Be well. v
@@Lssssssser ATT is the only internet service provider where I live and this video struggled to load at 360p despite paying for 40mbps. Screw ATT
cry :(
"merry christmas to all, and to all a good fight "
congratulations John! Now SantaCon is going to be a thing world wide. Thank you for letting the masses who didn't know about it know about it.
Santa isn’t judgemental? His entire thing is deciding if children are good or bad.
He never said he was good.
How many bad children actually don't get presents though?
Turns out he's not real, just like a certain other invisible man that Christians tell you is judging you at all hours of the day
It is Krampus that take children that has not been good enough. ;-)
krplus.net/bidio/ndOipJapaYquYmU
@@ryanpiotr1929
That depends.. how many bad children are poor?
"Powders and Chowders" 😂😂😂
"See you next February!"
Next February?
...
Oh God, i don't know if I'll last that long without John Oliver to help me laugh through the Great Orange One's presidency
The poem at the end, mocking all the madness is praiseworthy.
To quote his "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption"
😈😇😈 Praise be! Praise be! 😈😇😈
“Where’s Shelly, David, where’s Shelly?” Hahahahaha
@@ApatheticEuphoria but zoomers wont get the reference.
@@ApatheticEuphoria Good for you? That Shelly joke was really funny. Brooklyn Nine Nine did a reference episode about that. But there she turned up alive and as the leader behind it all. Boom boom Charles!;)
The best surprise Sunday gift ever.
This is literally that scene from Jingle All The Way.
Oliver, what do you mean? "Two Santas going at it" is the best thing I've heard all week
"In the aisle. Two Santas. Going at it."
The Magic of Christmas IS a Santa finger blasting an Elf in an ATM booth.
10:45 am. AM!!!!
I'm just impressed there was a photo.
@@insane_troll
It's a graphic made for the show. Nothing that impressive.
Hell yeah, that's what *I* want for xmas!
Vestibule. Same that Chandler was trapped in during a power outage.
Thanks John Oliver! Happy Holidays to you and your crew
Take everything you just heard here about Santa Con and then imagine all the people who are dressed as Santa and imagine them dressed as Krampus instead.
That's a Christmas party I can get behind.
He is so traumatized. The memory is so vivid...aisle 4....
Next February? That’s the longest Christmas holiday ever
Manuel
He’s going,on tour...I know this because I’m seeing him at Masonic Auditorium in San Francisco on New Year’s Eve! WOOHOO! GO ME!!!
one month
I love Santacon.
And the beat downs are no worse than what you would see after a night where there is a soccer match (football to everyone else in the world)
Santa con? Just when i thought America couldn't get any crazier.
He is honestly the best. Him and his crew ofc
Proud Hoboken resident here, can attest to it. 2017's SantaCon nearly got it cancelled forever. Four bars were SHUT DOWN because of it.
This is the first thing that has made me happy since the holiday season began. And it will probably be the last.
Happy Holidays and thank you, Mr Oliver.
"I'm not usually the judgmental type..."
Man, Santa, what do you think that whole Naughty and Nice List thing is?
I don't know man, this show's one of the few things that keeps me going.
I really like your show, sir Oliver. It's a shame for me that I don't understand every gag and sentence, but I really enjoy your show whenever I see it. Merry Christmas
Thank you and happy holidays to you guys. Stay as awesome as you are and looking forward to next February.
Seeing John back between seasons is all I wanted for xmas.
Santa Claus: "I'm not usually yhe judgemental type."
Also Santa Claus: Closely observes the activities of every child on the planet in order to sort them into two categories based upon their behavior over the past year, then double checks these lists for accuracy.
Donald Daube...I do not know which is more bizarre, Santa Con or the Santa story we were told and now tell to kids
There’s not much difference between santa and god when it comes to being severely judgmental towards every living soul. Just the old white guy with a beard in red outfit does it once a year where he does a yearly revision, while the old white guy with a beard in a white robe does it continuously all year round. No privacy on this planet, no privacy at all.
@@Stereochemistry best comment ever ..no privacy for sure hilarious
you do know he's fictional, right? sorry you had to find out this way.
🤣🤣 well yeah, when you put it that way!
Congratulations John. It worked. No Santa con this year 😅
I lived in NYC as a kid and we would always see the drunk Santas. My friends parents owned a bar and had to always kick out the Santa's
I laughed so damned hard over "Where's Shelley ?".....and then I thought a bit and then felt sickened.
But then I laughed once more, so....
On a related note, anyone thinking of educating themselves by reading up on the world's longest con/tax shelter, my advice is to SPACE the books out - I read three of the most poignant scientology (I refuse to capitalise it) books over the summer and was profoundly depressed - Shelley could indeed be confined somewhere and living a waking hell, the same fate has befallen even the most stalwart defenders of Miscaviage, so him locking his wife up in similar misery is entirely plausible.
You had me at “Hoboken”. That alone horrified me enough to toss my tree, ornaments and all, into a shredder.
JeevesReturns
Not a wood chipper?
Mary Rose Kent
Whatever works
HOBOKEN!!!!!!!
OOOOOOOH, I'M DYING!!!!!!!!!😱😱😱
Just mentioning the state of New Jersey would have you huddled in the corner shuddering in horror. 😂
hawkeye5955
Now I’m in a corner again.
Thank you. thank You. thank you.
- Cathy (&, accidentally, Steve), Ottawa/Bytown
YAASS! Thank you for making an episode about this!
We only have a santa-run in our city: hammered santas running through the city.. at least they have something to do and don't hang around for too long 😂
Lol
He missed another wide-open line at the end of the poem, where Santa could have said, "... and to all, a good Last Week Tonight."
John, in your show, you always make me smile. I can't wait until it starts backup again next year.
I love the random Scientology hit 😂
Thank you for the laughter. One of my dearest youthful memories of meeting Santa was at Santa's Castle constructed for we tiny ones in the Mammoth hall of Madison Square Gardens. There was an absolute maze of passageways through the castle,, all sized to keep parents out and kids a nearly endless screaming trip through all the rooms of a medieval castle to arrive finally at Santa's throne room. Santa , sorta, sat slumped in his chair, white beard with 5 day stubble showing Christmasy askew. Jolly red shirt pulled half way up exposing his plump round hair belly, suspenders barely connected, reeking,, ignitable fumes of JD and a nearly empty bottle in hand. Whilst simultaneously singing something vaguely Christmasy and farting even louder. I was ten,, and I LOVED IT. This is 60 years later and it is still one of my most favoured Christmas memories. I was laughing then,, I am laughing now. Long Live Santa Con,, demnation.
fun fact: Hoboken's SantaCon was yesterday. I know this because I work in Hoboken. it wasn't fun.
Ohhhhh.... condolences
So many layers to my condolences
Take care my dude, hope your sanity recovers soon.
That sounds horrible!
Ouch, hope not too much damage done
"Two Santas going at it" LMAO :D
Godammit Jon Oliver, listening to you read this Christmas book to me made me realize you are pretty much my favorite person in the universe.